I'm so confused about 2012

[Carol]

I just don't know what to do.

On the 2012 thread there is a galactic wave on its way that is going to usher in the golden age of spiritual consciousness.. and for those who have managed to raise their vibrational frequency they may get to exit out an opening to another universe that opens once every 26,000 years and be absorbed back into oneness.

Well I've experienced oneness and even a few upper spiritual heavenly realms and I just don't know if I'm ready to be dissolved back into the ocean of consciousness and give up individuality. After all, I'm just getting into baking a decent loaf of bread and haven't yet painted near the different types of paintings I would like to paint, or compose the music that stirs my heart, or sing all the songs that give me chicken skin, let along plant my aquaponics garden. I've so much left to do, to learn, to experience.

And then there are those who have told me I'm an old, old soul. Well, I do have some very vivid memories of a few past lives so that may be true.. yet I feel like I'm just on the cusp of this great adventure so I'm just not so sure what I want to do. I'm confused. Do I stay behind... willingly, irrespective of the challenges that life presents on a regular basis.

I know I should meditate more, do more spiritual practices and those sort of things but somehow my life seems to be spent on organizing stuff... my daughter's stuff, my husband's stuff, other's stuff, the animals stuff... lots and lots of stuff. Basically, it seems my job is to bring order to the chaos that surrounds me. Now somehow that does seem very worthwhile and well within god's plan. However, I did almost leave to go back to my spiritual home a few times during a few NDE. Yet, after getting a glimps of the chaos that would ensue if I no longer existed in this earthly world I made a commitment to stick it out here for the long haul for my family.

One cannot possibly imagine what would happen to this house if I were not here to sort out stuff. There would be no pathway to the front door or through the bedrooms. One would incur bodily damage in the process of traversing from one end of the house to the other. And as brilliant as my family is as individuals they do tend to be oblivious to their stuff and putting it back where it belongs.

I'm so confused... do I miss out on the galactic wave exodus and wait another 26,000 years for the next wave and incur countless more lifetimes.. or bust out of this pop stand and hope the family tags along?

Please advise.

Meanwhile, I'm buying seeds and windup flashlights and latterns.