How many here had ruff upbringing?

futureyes · 11-28-2008, 12:57 AM

commencing at the tender age of four, i grew up experiencing physical, emotional, verbal abuse on a daily basis, never could i let down my guard, my imaginary shield would always be up waiting for the next go round

every night i would lay in bed and once again go through the process of wiping the slate clean in my mind, forgave all, forgave myself if i had contributed in any way to what i received ...

every morning i would wake up to a new day, whatever occurred the day prior was no longer with me, it was of the past, i so looked forward to the sun rising, the dew on the grass, fresh and new possibilities that day would bring for myself, for the world ...

i soon came to understand not all people were abusers and manipulators, that there were good, decent people who actually respected one another ...

those events made me who i am today, allowed me the connection i have with source, always was the universe my friend, the only one i could trust growing up ...

and now, i have found my place of indifference, neutral with these life experiences, they are done, the past cannnot be changed ...

now when someone asks about my past i reiterate that i am who i am in this moment because of the experiences of past moments ...

i have nothing more to add for them, i've found neutral, everything else is just a story, stories that fade daily, hardly do i remember them ...

ruff yes, but i believe from it all i am more normal because of it

View Poll Results: How many people here had a ruff upbringing?
Had a fairly normal upbringing.	21	35.59%
Grew up hard and have been a rebel my whole life.	38	64.41%
Voters: 59. You may not vote on this poll

11-28-2008, 12:57 AM	#24
futureyes Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: heart central Posts: 798	Re: How many here had ruff upbringing? commencing at the tender age of four, i grew up experiencing physical, emotional, verbal abuse on a daily basis, never could i let down my guard, my imaginary shield would always be up waiting for the next go round every night i would lay in bed and once again go through the process of wiping the slate clean in my mind, forgave all, forgave myself if i had contributed in any way to what i received ... every morning i would wake up to a new day, whatever occurred the day prior was no longer with me, it was of the past, i so looked forward to the sun rising, the dew on the grass, fresh and new possibilities that day would bring for myself, for the world ... i soon came to understand not all people were abusers and manipulators, that there were good, decent people who actually respected one another ... those events made me who i am today, allowed me the connection i have with source, always was the universe my friend, the only one i could trust growing up ... and now, i have found my place of indifference, neutral with these life experiences, they are done, the past cannnot be changed ... now when someone asks about my past i reiterate that i am who i am in this moment because of the experiences of past moments ... i have nothing more to add for them, i've found neutral, everything else is just a story, stories that fade daily, hardly do i remember them ... ruff yes, but i believe from it all i am more normal because of it