Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i beg...

[gita]

One for the ladies of the forum and the men with great sense of humour - also to counter balance the blonde jokes!

Men are like....

1. Men are like Laxatives . They irritate the **** out of you.

2 Men are like. Bananas . The older they get, the less firm they are.

3. Men are like Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.

4. Men are like Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

5. Men are like Chocolate Bars ... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

6. Men are like Commercials .. You can't believe a word they say.

7. Men are like Department Stores .... Their clothes are always 1/2 off!

8. Men are like .... Government Bonds ...... They take soooooooo long to mature.

9. Men are like ... Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10. Men are like Popcorn .. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Men are like Snowstorms .. You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

12. Men are like Lava Lamps .. Fun to look at, but not very bright.

13. Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

[gita]

The government today announced that it is changing its national symbol to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government’s political stance.
A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks and gives you a sense of security while you’re actually being screwed.
Damn, it just doesn’t get more accurate than that.

[burgundia]

New York, Central Park, Sunday afternoon...
people are walking, enjoying the weather.
Suddenly a big dog attacks a little child.
A man sees what's happening, runs to the child, throws the dog away from the victim and rescues the child.
Unfortunately the dog hits the ground hard and dies instantly.
All the people approach the man, congatulate him shake his hand,etc.
TV crew , reporters and journslists arrive at the scene.
They tell the man that they are going to write an article about the incident and that the article will start like that:" A New Yorker rescues a child attacked by a dog".
The man tells them that he is not a New Yorker. They reply:"Ok, we'll write then that an American rescues a child..."
The man says:"But I am not American".
"So what nationality are you?"
"I am Palestinian".
The next day there is an article in the newspaper and the headline says:
"A PALESTINIAN TERRORIST KILLS AN AMERICAN DOG."

[micjer]

This going around the emails lately...

Subject: Warning: Avoid being scammed ...







Just got scammed outta $25! Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My favourite 18 holes".

Turns out it's about golf. Damn Waste of money.

Pass this on so others don't get scammed.

[Tango]

How to wash your car with only one bucket of water





Note the colour of the car.... Kids with BIG toys... LOL


Trooly,


Tango

[xbusymom]

Are we redefining the standard of comparison or is this the new genetically modified fruit available?

[xbusymom]

Originally Posted by Tango

How to wash your car with only one bucket of water

they definitely need to invest in a water softener...

[Gnosis5]

Originally Posted by gita

One for the ladies of the forum and the men with great sense of humour - also to counter balance the blonde jokes!

Men are like....

[snipped]

That is black cat wicked!!!

[Anchor]

Puppetji's Daily Affirmation for People Over 40




Puppetji: Why are we here?

[rhythm]

Keep it up guys

rhythmms

laughin ..............xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[gita]

For all the mums out there. This vid is funny cos it's so true. Enjoy.

[gita]

For cat lovers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KswnjMa-MQ

[Tango]

Now this is the kind Dog to have...



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1X55b6t-UM

GeeZ, this is one Smart Dog... Trained in " Southern " Lingo. LOL


Trooly,


Tango

[lindabaker]

http://www.welcomethelight.com/wp-co...rro2012pic.gif

Linda oxox

[THE eXchanger]

These are very funny, thank you

[Gnosis5]

Fruit Fly

[Tango]

Boy if I don't get the Chocolate when I want it I can turn to a REAL:




Word Up......Or,




Trooly,


Tango

[HipHipnotist]

http://www.theamericansheeple.com

[mudra]

Dirty Parrots
A woman had two female parrots who were always yelling, “We’re prostitutes, wanna have a little fun?” One day, she was talking to her Preacher about this. He said he had two male parrots and all they did was read the Bible. He thought perhaps they would be a good influence on the two females. So they put the four parrots together. So, the females yelled at the male parrots,

“We’re prostitutes, wanna have a little fun?” One male parrot said to the other, “Put the Bibles away! We’ve made it to heaven!”

Laugh Always
mudra

[Tango]

Soooo... I haven't made you Laugh Yet.....


This should do it.....





Trooly,


Tango

[Gnosis5]

I could see Benny Hill doing a skit like that

[Swanny]

Kevin the Chicken

Trevor the farmer was in the fertilised egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets' and eight or ten roosters, to fertilise the pullets' eggs.

Trevor kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so Trevor could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

The farmer's favourite rooster was Kevin, and a very fine specimen he was too, but on this particular morning Trevor noticed Kevin's bell hadn't rung at all!

Trevor went to investigate.

The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover but to farmer Trevor's amazement, Kevin had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring.

He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

Trevor was so proud of Kevin, he entered him into the Brisbane Exhibition and Kevin became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The Result?

The judges not only awarded Kevin the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.

Clearly Kevin was a politician in the making: Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.

[Brinty]

Originally Posted by Tango

Soooo... I haven't made you Laugh Yet.....

This should do it.....

Tango

AW JEEZ! Now I have to change my pants.