Playing the waiting game

[gita]

Lets play the ‘WHAT IF’ game – just for a little while.

Lately, now and then, I suddenly come over with a feeling of dread and it’s pure dread. And I wonder;

1. ‘what if’ my friends and family are correct and I’m a bit out there?

2. ‘what if’ I’ve driven most of my friends away for no reason?

3. ‘what if’ I’ve become so detached from ‘reality’ that there’s no going back?

4. ‘what if’ nothing is going to happen and I’m stuck in a ‘prison’ until my
body dies?

5. ‘what if’ I’ve been filling my child’s head with nonsense and she actually thinks her mum is mad?

6. ‘what if’ I’ve missed the opportunities to build a more conservative and ‘better’ life for myself and my family?

7. ‘what if’ the world stays as it is and the powerful become more powerful and the cruelty of humans, animals and Mother Earth just continues for another millennia? For I just cannot live in such a world no longer.

But then I have to shake myself back to the reality I created for myself based on decades of research and innate knowings I had as a child.

I am not prepared for a world that is going to continue as it is... and so I wonder with dread ‘what if?’