Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i beg...

Tango · 11-09-2009, 08:38 PM

A crusty old man walks into the local Baptist Church and says to the secretary, I would like to join this damn church.

The astonished woman replies, I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?

Listen up, dammit. I said I want to join this damn church!

I'm very sorry, sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this church...
The secretary leaves her desk and goes into the pastors study to inform him of her situation.. The pastor agrees that the secretary does not have to listen to that foul language. They both returned to her office and the pastor asks the old geezer, Sir, what seems to be the problem here...?

There is no damn problem, the man said. I just won $200 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to join this damn church to get rid of some of this damn money. I see, said the pastor. And is this bitch giving you a hard time?

And, that's how a famous pastor in made...

Trooly,

Tango

Jnana · 11-10-2009, 01:58 PM

BEFORE YOU CRITICIZE SOMEONE

Walk a mile in their shoes.

Then you'll be a mile away.

And you'll have their shoes.

burgundia · 11-10-2009, 02:52 PM

A cat is chasing a mouse but the mouse manages to hide in the hole. The cat is sitting by the hole thinking:" The mouse is afraid of me, but is not afraid of the dog....". And the cat starts barking....the mouse hearing the dog comes out. The cat then snatches it and devours. What lesson can be learned here?????? It is good to know languages....

Tango · 11-11-2009, 02:54 AM

This is sooooooooo Funnny... Just watch it......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnXiDWKXh-0

0wwwwwwwww.......... His poor head... so funny...

Officer it just went 0FF.... It was only a drink.

Trooly,

Tango

iainl140285 · 11-11-2009, 03:37 PM

The last argument
(Courtesy of Mr Tango

)

O.K. Honey!

We're here!

I said I was sorry!

You can come out now

Tango · 11-13-2009, 05:09 PM

I'm laughing as I post this... I didn't write these... Wooo Aaaaa
I get email from an older lady... Look:

Men strike back!

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be open when she brings it.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you..
-----------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-----------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me....'
-----------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
----------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course.. He'll shut up once you let him in.
-- --------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
----------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to. And, its the only way out.
------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men
until they can walk down the street with a bald head
and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
------------------------------------------------------
Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and
to the select few women who can handle it

I think they're funny... Not to be taken serious,,,

Trooly,

Tango

mudra · 11-14-2009, 10:18 PM

What's Your Name, Again?

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to playing cards a few times a week.
One day when playing cards, one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me. I know we've been friends a long time, but I just can't think of your name. I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

Love Always
mudra

Tango · 11-16-2009, 05:27 PM

Deleted.

mudra · 11-17-2009, 10:37 PM

That last one was funny Tango ...

Laugh Always
mudra

rhythm · 11-17-2009, 11:44 PM

Hey guys

this thread is

commpletly nuts ...

who started all this

some nutter ...

mudra · 11-17-2009, 11:44 PM

Vids from Bushy !!!! Enjoy the ride

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JN5Mqr6tRlw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r395r...eature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpcUx...eature=related

Laugh Always
mudra

mudra · 11-17-2009, 11:46 PM

I have put some other nuts in the cracker

Laugh Always
mudra

bushycat · 11-17-2009, 11:52 PM

I heard a man say the other day that the only time he opens his mouth is to change feet.

Tango · 11-18-2009, 04:04 PM

Deleted.

Peace of mind · 11-18-2009, 05:32 PM

A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him..

She finally overtook him at the checkout, and she turned to him and said, "I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease; it's just that you look so much l ike my late son."

He answered, "That's okay."

"I know it's silly, but if you'd call out 'Good bye, Mom' as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy."

She then went through the checkout, and as she was on her way out of the store, the man called out, "Goodbye, Mom."

The little old lady waved and smiled back at him.

Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into someone's day, he went to pay for his groceries.

"That comes to $121.85," said the clerk.

"How come so much? I only bought 5 items."

The clerk replied, "Yeah, but your Mother said
You'd be paying for her things, too."

Peace

Tango · 11-18-2009, 07:49 PM

" The moral of this story is "put your brain in gear before opening your mouth"

WIFE:

What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?

HUSBAND:

Definitely not!

WIFE:

Why not - don't you like being married?

HUSBAND:

Of course I do.

WIFE:

Then why wouldn't you remarry?

HUSBAND:

Okay, I'd get married again.

WIFE:

You would? (With a hurtful look on her face).

HUSBAND:

(Makes audible groan).

WIFE:

Would you live in our house?

HUSBAND:

Sure, it's a great house.

WIFE:

Would you sleep with her in our bed?

HUSBAND:

Where else would we sleep?

WIFE:

Would you let her drive my car?

HUSBAND:

Probably, it is almost new.

WIFE:

Would you replace my pictures with hers?

HUSBAND:

That would seem like the proper thing to do.

WIFE:

Would she use my golf clubs?

HUSBAND:

No, she's left-handed.

WIFE:

- - silence - - more silence - - -............

HUSBAND:

F * ck....

And, than the fight Really, I mean Really.... Started...

Trooly,

Tango

bushycat · 11-18-2009, 08:46 PM

Oh, Tango, was that you? The guy looked a lot like Johhny Depp.

Tango · 11-18-2009, 09:11 PM

deleted

Tango · 11-18-2009, 09:19 PM

A Redneck Joke....

A State Trooper pulls over a Redneck pickup on Carefree

Highway 74, and says to the driver, 'Got any! I.D. ' . .

and the Redneck driver replies 'Bout wut '.....

Trooly,

Tango

bushycat · 11-18-2009, 10:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tango

'

Yeah... But, better looking right..... Say it... N' I gots Neat'r Eye's...

Tango

Yes, definitely eyes.You should be in the movies.
(NOT: You should be on the stage,
the first one out of town!)

Tango · 11-19-2009, 12:49 AM

Deleted.

bushycat · 11-19-2009, 01:28 AM

I am shocked to the core. And they look like such nice people.
Sure can dance, though.

mudra · 11-21-2009, 12:39 AM

Laugh Always
mudra

waitinginthewings · 11-21-2009, 06:56 PM

A little known fact....

The first testicular guard "Cup" was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first

helmet was used in 1974.

It took 100 years for men to realize that the brain is also important.

waitinginthewings · 11-21-2009, 07:02 PM

How to talk to a police officer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvVMTyaZpeU

11-09-2009, 08:38 PM	#1
Tango Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: eating dessert in the desert of Arizona Posts: 1,554	Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be A crusty old man walks into the local Baptist Church and says to the secretary, I would like to join this damn church. The astonished woman replies, I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say? Listen up, dammit. I said I want to join this damn church! I'm very sorry, sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this church... The secretary leaves her desk and goes into the pastors study to inform him of her situation.. The pastor agrees that the secretary does not have to listen to that foul language. They both returned to her office and the pastor asks the old geezer, Sir, what seems to be the problem here...? There is no damn problem, the man said. I just won $200 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to join this damn church to get rid of some of this damn money. I see, said the pastor. And is this bitch giving you a hard time? And, that's how a famous pastor in made... Trooly, Tango Last edited by Tango; 11-11-2009 at 05:56 PM.

11-10-2009, 01:58 PM	#2
Jnana Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Indiana Posts: 653	Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be BEFORE YOU CRITICIZE SOMEONE Walk a mile in their shoes. Then you'll be a mile away. And you'll have their shoes.

11-10-2009, 02:52 PM	#3
burgundia Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Poland Posts: 3,442	Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be A cat is chasing a mouse but the mouse manages to hide in the hole. The cat is sitting by the hole thinking:" The mouse is afraid of me, but is not afraid of the dog....". And the cat starts barking....the mouse hearing the dog comes out. The cat then snatches it and devours. What lesson can be learned here?????? It is good to know languages....

11-11-2009, 02:54 AM	#4
Tango Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: eating dessert in the desert of Arizona Posts: 1,554	Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be This is sooooooooo Funnny... Just watch it...... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnXiDWKXh-0 0wwwwwwwww.......... His poor head... so funny... Officer it just went 0FF.... It was only a drink. Trooly, Tango Last edited by Tango; 11-11-2009 at 06:42 AM.

11-11-2009, 03:37 PM	#5
iainl140285 Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Scotland Posts: 974	Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be The last argument (Courtesy of Mr Tango ) O.K. Honey! We're here! I said I was sorry! You can come out now Last edited by iainl140285; 11-11-2009 at 05:21 PM.

11-13-2009, 05:09 PM	#6
Tango Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: eating dessert in the desert of Arizona Posts: 1,554	Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be I'm laughing as I post this... I didn't write these... Wooo Aaaaa I get email from an older lady... Look: Men strike back! How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be open when she brings it. ----------------------------------------------------------- Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.. ----------------------------------------------------------- Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. ----------------------------------------------------------- How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me....' ----------------------------------------------------------- How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven. ---------------------------------------------------------- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course.. He'll shut up once you let him in. -- -------------------------------------------------------- Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake. ---------------------------------------------------- Why do men die before their wives? They want to. And, its the only way out. ------------------------------------------------------ Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. ------------------------------------------------------ Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and to the select few women who can handle it I think they're funny... Not to be taken serious,,, Trooly, Tango

11-14-2009, 10:18 PM	#7
mudra Avalon Spiritual Mother Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: belgium Posts: 4,919	Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be What's Your Name, Again? Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to playing cards a few times a week. One day when playing cards, one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me. I know we've been friends a long time, but I just can't think of your name. I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?" Love Always mudra

11-16-2009, 05:27 PM	#8
Tango Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: eating dessert in the desert of Arizona Posts: 1,554	Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be Deleted. Last edited by Tango; 12-05-2009 at 05:06 AM.

11-17-2009, 10:37 PM	#9
mudra Avalon Spiritual Mother Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: belgium Posts: 4,919	Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be That last one was funny Tango ... Laugh Always mudra Last edited by mudra; 11-17-2009 at 11:47 PM.

11-17-2009, 11:44 PM	#10
rhythm Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: devon england Posts: 1,905	Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be Hey guys this thread is commpletly nuts ... who started all this some nutter ...

11-17-2009, 11:46 PM	#12
mudra Avalon Spiritual Mother Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: belgium Posts: 4,919	Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be I have put some other nuts in the cracker Laugh Always mudra

11-17-2009, 11:52 PM	#13
bushycat Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: New Zealand Posts: 442	Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be I heard a man say the other day that the only time he opens his mouth is to change feet. Last edited by bushycat; 11-18-2009 at 08:43 PM.

11-18-2009, 04:04 PM	#14
Tango Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: eating dessert in the desert of Arizona Posts: 1,554	Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be Deleted. Last edited by Tango; 12-05-2009 at 05:07 AM.

11-18-2009, 05:32 PM	#15
Peace of mind Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: The uncharted consciousness Posts: 311	Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him.. She finally overtook him at the checkout, and she turned to him and said, "I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease; it's just that you look so much l ike my late son." He answered, "That's okay." "I know it's silly, but if you'd call out 'Good bye, Mom' as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy." She then went through the checkout, and as she was on her way out of the store, the man called out, "Goodbye, Mom." The little old lady waved and smiled back at him. Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into someone's day, he went to pay for his groceries. "That comes to $121.85," said the clerk. "How come so much? I only bought 5 items." The clerk replied, "Yeah, but your Mother said You'd be paying for her things, too." Peace

11-18-2009, 07:49 PM	#16
Tango Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: eating dessert in the desert of Arizona Posts: 1,554	Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be " The moral of this story is "put your brain in gear before opening your mouth" WIFE: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again? HUSBAND: Definitely not! WIFE: Why not - don't you like being married? HUSBAND: Of course I do. WIFE: Then why wouldn't you remarry? HUSBAND: Okay, I'd get married again. WIFE: You would? (With a hurtful look on her face). HUSBAND: (Makes audible groan). WIFE: Would you live in our house? HUSBAND: Sure, it's a great house. WIFE: Would you sleep with her in our bed? HUSBAND: Where else would we sleep? WIFE: Would you let her drive my car? HUSBAND: Probably, it is almost new. WIFE: Would you replace my pictures with hers? HUSBAND: That would seem like the proper thing to do. WIFE: Would she use my golf clubs? HUSBAND: No, she's left-handed. WIFE: - - silence - - more silence - - -............ HUSBAND: F * ck.... And, than the fight Really, I mean Really.... Started... Trooly, Tango

11-18-2009, 08:46 PM	#17
bushycat Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: New Zealand Posts: 442	Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be Oh, Tango, was that you? The guy looked a lot like Johhny Depp. Last edited by bushycat; 01-03-2010 at 09:32 PM.

11-18-2009, 09:11 PM	#18
Tango Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: eating dessert in the desert of Arizona Posts: 1,554	Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be deleted Last edited by Tango; 12-05-2009 at 05:08 AM.

11-18-2009, 09:19 PM	#19
Tango Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: eating dessert in the desert of Arizona Posts: 1,554	Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be A Redneck Joke.... A State Trooper pulls over a Redneck pickup on Carefree Highway 74, and says to the driver, 'Got any! I.D. ' . . and the Redneck driver replies 'Bout wut '..... Trooly, Tango

11-19-2009, 12:49 AM	#21
Tango Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: eating dessert in the desert of Arizona Posts: 1,554	Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be Deleted. Last edited by Tango; 12-05-2009 at 05:09 AM.

11-19-2009, 01:28 AM	#22
bushycat Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: New Zealand Posts: 442	Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be I am shocked to the core. And they look like such nice people. Sure can dance, though.

11-21-2009, 12:39 AM	#23
mudra Avalon Spiritual Mother Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: belgium Posts: 4,919	Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be Laugh Always mudra

11-21-2009, 06:56 PM	#24
waitinginthewings Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: BC. Canada Posts: 1,340	Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be A little known fact.... The first testicular guard "Cup" was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. It took 100 years for men to realize that the brain is also important.

11-21-2009, 07:02 PM	#25
waitinginthewings Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: BC. Canada Posts: 1,340	Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be How to talk to a police officer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvVMTyaZpeU Last edited by waitinginthewings; 11-21-2009 at 07:27 PM.