Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i beg...

burgundia · 07-14-2009, 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brinty

Well, rhythm, 69 was always one of my favorites.

Was always or...has been always...

Brinty · 07-14-2009, 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by burgundia

Was always or...has been always...

It used to be burgundia . . . ah, memories.

Carmen · 07-15-2009, 06:44 AM

Here's a goody

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'
'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two
groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself
spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

Send this to all the smart women you know...and all the men that have a sense of humor.

Cheers

Carmen

rhythm · 07-15-2009, 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by burgundia

Was always or...has been always...

Of course Brinty 69 iS a very sacred symbol ..

the infamous yin yang that stands for balance and harmony

...

rhythm · 07-16-2009, 10:08 AM

Doctor doctor

I keep stealing things

can you give me somthing for it

(doctor ).... take these tablets

and if they dont work

bring me back a dvd player ........( ba booom !!!)
*************************************

(still not great is it ... must try harder )
and drink more apple juice umm....

rhythm · 07-16-2009, 01:57 PM

Wife -what do you mean coming home

half drunk this time of night !!!

Husband - its not my fault

i ran out of money ......
********************

i like this one ... you.....

Brinty · 07-16-2009, 08:21 PM

A blond bimbo walks into the police station and says she has come in answer to the advertisement for a police woman. The Chief Superintendent takes one look at her and thinks to himself, uh-oh, we've got a right one here.

"Okay," he says, "what's 1 and 1?"
Without hesitating the bimbo says, "eleven."
Stunned for a second, the Superintendent thinks to himself, she's right, but that wasn't the answer I wanted.

"Okay, name two days of the week beginning with the letter T."
"Today and tomorrow," she answers.
Once again she's come up with a correct answer but not one I had thought of. thought the policeman.

"Here's your last test question - Who killed President Kennedy?"
"Oh, that's a hard one. I'll have to think for a minute."

"Well, why not go home and think it over and come back in the morning and tell me."

The bimbo leaves the police station and goes over the road to the beauty parlor where all her friends are gathered. They were eager to know how she got on.

"Well, it was my first day and already I'm working on a murder case."

rhythm · 07-17-2009, 07:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brinty

A blond bimbo walks into the police station and says she has come in answer to the advertisement for a police woman. The Chief Superintendent takes one look at her and thinks to himself, uh-oh, we've got a right one here.

"Okay," he says, "what's 1 and 1?"
Without hesitating the bimbo says, "eleven."
Stunned for a second, the Superintendent thinks to himself, she's right, but that wasn't the answer I wanted.

"Okay, name two days of the week beginning with the letter T."
"Today and tomorrow," she answers.
Once again she's come up with a correct answer but not one I had thought of. thought the policeman.

"Here's your last test question - Who killed President Kennedy?"
"Oh, that's a hard one. I'll have to think for a minute."

"Well, why not go home and think it over and come back in the morning and tell me."

The bimbo leaves the police station and goes over the road to the beauty parlor where all her friends are gathered. They were eager to know how she got on.

"Well, it was my first day and already I'm working on a murder case."

Brinty this bimbo dont get it

Swanny · 07-17-2009, 05:23 PM

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent
terrorist threats in Islamabad and have raised their
security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."

Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to
"Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Brits have not been
"A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but
ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome"
to a "Bloody Nuisance."
The last time the British issued a
"Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of
1666.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised
its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two
higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender."
The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed
France 's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the
country's military capability.

It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of
alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout
loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two
more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and
"Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from
"Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing
Marching Songs.." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a
Neighbour" and "Lose".

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual,
and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling
out of Brussels .

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines
ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass
bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look
at the old Spanish navy.

Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on
all of their allies, just in case.

New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from
"baaa" to "BAAAA!". Due to continuing defence cutbacks (the
airforce being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper
aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime
Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more level of
escalation, which is "Shut, I hope Austrulia will come end
riscue us".

In the event of invasion, New Zealanders will be
asked to gather together in a strategic defensive position
called "Bondi".

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No
worries" to "She'll be right, mate". Three more escalation
levels remain, "Crikey!', "I think we'll need to cancel the
barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled". There
has not been a situation yet that has warranted the use of
the final escalation level.

burgundia · 07-17-2009, 05:38 PM

swanny , this is really funny...

rhythm · 07-18-2009, 12:56 PM

STOPPED BY THE POLICE ..
********************

JON AND JESSICA were on there way home from the bar
when they got pulled over by the police..
the officer told jon that tail light was out .
Jon says im very sorry officer , i will get it fixed right away .
Just then jessica said i knew this would happen i told you two days ago to get that light fixed ...
So the officer asked jon for his drivers licence , and after looking at it
said sir your licence has expired .
then jessica said I told you a week ago that your licence had expired
Well by this time jon is a bit upset with his wife contrdicting him and
says in a rather loud vioice ...jessica shut your mouth ..
The officer leaned over to jessica and asked does your husband allways talk to you like that ..to which jessica replyed ...
only when hes drunk officer !!

07-15-2009, 06:44 AM	#3
Carmen Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: New Zealand Posts: 992	Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be Here's a goody A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.' A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?' Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation. The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because: 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic; 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else; 3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. (THIS GETS BETTER!) The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because: 1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on; 2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves; 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model. The women won. Send this to all the smart women you know...and all the men that have a sense of humor. Cheers Carmen

07-16-2009, 10:08 AM	#5
rhythm Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: devon england Posts: 1,905	Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be *Doctor doctor* *I keep stealing things* *can you give me somthing for it* *(doctor ).... take these tablets* *and if they dont work* *bring me back a dvd player ........( ba booom !!!)* *********************************** (still not great is it ... must try harder ) and drink more apple juice umm....**

07-16-2009, 01:57 PM	#6
rhythm Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: devon england Posts: 1,905	Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be *Wife -what do you mean coming home* *half drunk this time of night !!!* *Husband - its not my fault* *i ran out of money ......* ****************** i like this one ... you.....**

07-16-2009, 08:21 PM	#7
Brinty Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Blackbutt, Queensland, Australia Posts: 1,004	Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be A blond bimbo walks into the police station and says she has come in answer to the advertisement for a police woman. The Chief Superintendent takes one look at her and thinks to himself, uh-oh, we've got a right one here. "Okay," he says, "what's 1 and 1?" Without hesitating the bimbo says, "eleven." Stunned for a second, the Superintendent thinks to himself, she's right, but that wasn't the answer I wanted. "Okay, name two days of the week beginning with the letter T." "Today and tomorrow," she answers. Once again she's come up with a correct answer but not one I had thought of. thought the policeman. "Here's your last test question - Who killed President Kennedy?" "Oh, that's a hard one. I'll have to think for a minute." "Well, why not go home and think it over and come back in the morning and tell me." The bimbo leaves the police station and goes over the road to the beauty parlor where all her friends are gathered. They were eager to know how she got on. "Well, it was my first day and already I'm working on a murder case."

07-17-2009, 05:23 PM	#9
Swanny I dont need a label ! Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: The Shire of Wilt Posts: 2,889	Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats in Islamabad and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Brits have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666. The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability. It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides." The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose". Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels . The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on all of their allies, just in case. New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA!". Due to continuing defence cutbacks (the airforce being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "Shut, I hope Austrulia will come end riscue us". In the event of invasion, New Zealanders will be asked to gather together in a strategic defensive position called "Bondi". Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, mate". Three more escalation levels remain, "Crikey!', "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled". There has not been a situation yet that has warranted the use of the final escalation level.

07-17-2009, 05:38 PM	#10
burgundia Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Poland Posts: 3,442	Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be swanny , this is really funny...

07-18-2009, 12:56 PM	#11
rhythm Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: devon england Posts: 1,905	Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be *STOPPED BY THE POLICE ..* ****************** JON AND JESSICA were on there way home from the bar when they got pulled over by the police.. the officer told jon that tail light was out . Jon says im very sorry officer , i will get it fixed right away . Just then jessica said i knew this would happen i told you two days ago to get that light fixed ... So the officer asked jon for his drivers licence , and after looking at it said sir your licence has expired . then jessica said I told you a week ago that your licence had expired Well by this time jon is a bit upset with his wife contrdicting him and says in a rather loud vioice ...jessica shut your mouth .. The officer leaned over to jessica and asked does your husband allways talk to you like that ..to which jessica replyed ... only when hes drunk officer !!**