What is true your Life Purpose..?

THE eXchanger · 11-25-2008, 07:12 PM

i always knew, and, yet, there was a lot of work, to do for it, it was so much bigger than just me,
it needed a group --however "the group" is fragmented .
The whole prospect of it, has actually had made me feel quite ill, and, quite sad, that it is NOT manifesting in this reality -- it always seems like the busy 3D world,
keeps blocking it all, from happening, as, it should occur.
figuring it all out, knowing how to accomplish a lot of it,
and, right NOW, i am to the point, where i am beyond sick & beyond tired - i can NOT even begin to put into words,
what i am feeling-over and over, i try to align with others to do this work-and, yet, the others, are just too damn busy to realise, the true importance of it --
i know i have spent decades, figuring stuff out, and, i believe,actually, i know i have quite a few answers
and, over/and, over again, i give it all away for free
or, share it with others, and, then see some of my stuff end up in books (without, even an acknowledgement, nor, a word of recognition, nor a thank you-for the source of it)
and, that is just NOT right !!! owing a home/running a business to keep a roof over my head, has compounded, my own, inability to find the time, i need,
in order to do/and, to write, what i need to write
and, i do NOT know what to do ??? i can NOT escape,
what i have created - which although it works/it's NOT what i am supposed to be doing ...right now,
my heart feels like it has been torn into ribbons, and, NO ONE even seems to see it - nor, even cares about that.
i feel very alone, in this world - i feel very sad, and, and, i NEVER thought i would NOT accomplish it--however, for some strange reason, i feel NOT only let down by others...
but, that, i have let myself down too--this knowing it, and, NOT being able to kick it into action, and, express it, and, NOT just feeling that my hands are really tied, knowing they are tied, has frustrated me to a point, of no return,
i can't keep up these 18 hrs days, just to keep a roof over my head, and, i can't find the time, to move/and, to sell,
i feel like i have failed, and, that my heart is on the verge of stopping--NOT a very pretty picture

11-25-2008, 07:12 PM	#19
THE eXchanger Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Spiritual eXplorer-Canada Posts: 4,915	Re: What is true your Life Purpose..? i always knew, and, yet, there was a lot of work, to do for it, it was so much bigger than just me, it needed a group --however "the group" is fragmented . The whole prospect of it, has actually had made me feel quite ill, and, quite sad, that it is NOT manifesting in this reality -- it always seems like the busy 3D world, keeps blocking it all, from happening, as, it should occur. figuring it all out, knowing how to accomplish a lot of it, and, right NOW, i am to the point, where i am beyond sick & beyond tired - i can NOT even begin to put into words, what i am feeling-over and over, i try to align with others to do this work-and, yet, the others, are just too damn busy to realise, the true importance of it -- i know i have spent decades, figuring stuff out, and, i believe,actually, i know i have quite a few answers and, over/and, over again, i give it all away for free or, share it with others, and, then see some of my stuff end up in books (without, even an acknowledgement, nor, a word of recognition, nor a thank you-for the source of it) and, that is just NOT right !!! owing a home/running a business to keep a roof over my head, has compounded, my own, inability to find the time, i need, in order to do/and, to write, what i need to write and, i do NOT know what to do ??? i can NOT escape, what i have created - which although it works/it's NOT what i am supposed to be doing ...right now, my heart feels like it has been torn into ribbons, and, NO ONE even seems to see it - nor, even cares about that. i feel very alone, in this world - i feel very sad, and, and, i NEVER thought i would NOT accomplish it--however, for some strange reason, i feel NOT only let down by others... but, that, i have let myself down too--this knowing it, and, NOT being able to kick it into action, and, express it, and, NOT just feeling that my hands are really tied, knowing they are tied, has frustrated me to a point, of no return, i can't keep up these 18 hrs days, just to keep a roof over my head, and, i can't find the time, to move/and, to sell, i feel like i have failed, and, that my heart is on the verge of stopping--NOT a very pretty picture