Notes from an exsperiencer

[David]

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[JSErwine]

Originally Posted by David

Hi JSErwine, when I look back on it and being at such a young age when it all started, makes me mad because at this age, you really are easy prey. All I wanted, was do as I was asked, kept telling myself it was just a dream and hoped I would wake up in bed after it was over.

Can you describe in detail what happened?

Here go's,

I was sleeping and something woke me, i'm thinking it must have been the bedroom door being opened that woke me up. Still lying there I turned my head towards the doorway and 2 little greys 4 ft. or so in heigth entered.

Between the two little guys was something, all I can think is that it was a machine or robot because of it's obvious geometric shape and metalic looking material it was constructed from. The object also seemed to levetate and it appeared the two little guys were guiding it along.

Paralizing fear overtook me, I remember I wanted to say something/scream but was impossible to do. All I could do was just look at them, and they almost seemed to look back at me with indecision.

After a few seconds of this my mind go's blank, no memory of attempting to go back to sleep, going into mom and dads room (which would have been the normal reaction after a bad dream), nothing just a complete blank.


I wish there was more for me to describe, but thats it and I'm sure my mind has supressed my memorys from the obvious terror I was experiencing. Perhaps one day I will seek out a hipnotist to help unlock these hidden memorys, but I'm taking this one step at a time. Just talking about this publicaly over the last week or so has been a huge step, prior to these forums I have only talked about it with two other people in my life.

[David]

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[JSErwine]

Originally Posted by David

Your mention of them looking back at you with indecision is a common facial expression I saw as well, however minute of an expression they actually have. Did you have a chance to look behind you? There always seems to be another close to my side to put me back under control when I wake up during an abduction.

No chance at all to look around, just the first turning of my head to look towards what was coming into my bedroom. Then being overtaken by paralizing fear, it was like being frozen solid.

I realy wish there was more I could share, that would mean I had a greater understanding of what this event was. Even if that means it was nothing more than a very elaborate and real dream.

Thanks for your response,

Jeff

[David]

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[Fredkc]

Hi David;
Very interesting stuff.

Once I noticed this, the Reptilian comes rushing in to me and aggressively pushes me against the mirror to subdue me with his eyes. He was so fast, he moved like a Gazelle on full sprint. I black out here.

Seems to be a couple of common themes, here. Bear with me a sec.

The first one that comes to mind has to do with the fear involved with being "transported" without permission, subjected to changes, experiments, whatever, all against our will. In fact, it sure seems a fair appraisal that in any of these encounters, theirs is at least 50% of the fear brought to the party. And notice their fear is always served. Yours is to be endured or simply blocked/forgotten poorly.

1. (At the beginning of the abductions, age 10?) My eyes were closed and could not open them. I kept trying to sit up but was physically forced back to lay down. I was told mentally what they would be doing to me and the reason why. I don't recall the whole conversation but do remember being asked if it was ok for them to do this. I said yes because their explanation made sense and my best interest/safety was involved. Basically.....I told them it was ok to take me and do what was needed but they did offer me a choice in the matter. The fact that I was given a choice is comforting.

Ya know, I couldn't think of a legal or slightly moral frame of reference where I could imagine anyone calling this implied consent.

Then there's the treatment. For good or ill, it occurs to me that lab rats probably get treated with more compassion when they're being "shuffled off to another state of entropy", a box at a time. And still...

This is because I have either been allowed to remember more of these events when they happen and recall more memories or their memory wipe is not working that well anymore. To get straight to the point, they are my family.

You have to just marvel, really. I mean, isn't this the very emotional reaction you'd expect from anyone who was basically set upon like something in a petri dish?

25 years ago, I "woke up" laying face up on a table. The whole room, including occupants were all so brilliantly white I could barely make out detail of an kind. I couldn't move. Didn't want to. I felt somehow "laid open" like it was some odd surgery where they open you up, lay most of your internal organs aside in sterile trays and then go to work on you. And I'm the only "human" in the room.

And a face I can't make out comes down to become the only thing I can see, and I hear, "Relax, go back to sleep. You're being re-wired". I did what any other sane person would do who suddenly finds self in this position (yeah, right). I casually shrugged off the whole scene and went to sleep.

Years later I still don't have a good clue to what that was all about. A bunch of supposes and things, sure. But it's odd, and subtly done, I think, that for 25 years the whole thing has always posed itself as a search for what sort of "blessing" I'd received.

"Gee, thanks for the train wreck." Bitter comfort that such a form of life can operate as effectively as it does, and still behave in such a sloppy manner occasionally, and harbor such fear as it does.

Sorry that it took this 24 hrs to write. It became something I hadn't really intended when I began.

But life also survives upon humor, so I just have to ask...

David, did they put back the eyeglasses?

[freekatz]

David, I also had an incredible sense of deja vu when I read a certain part in JIm Spark's book, it really freaked me out. I haven't however, been able to remember anything like the stuff you have, it does make me question whether I had some encounters when I was very young though.

[David]

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[Rebel4Life]

red eyes....yep those are reptilians alright probably draconians. There is a way to defeat these bastards don't trust the reptilians that's one thing I have learned from experience...another thing I show no love for these beings at all they need to gtfo of our solar system and away from the human race.

[David]

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[addalight]

I'm wondering if you to transcend the fear and tell them they have no right to interfere with your free will, if that might be helpful.

[David]

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[Wormhole]

Hello David, just wanted you to know that I have read every word here. I have gone through great lengths to raise my level of vibration in order to stop all negative contacts, and they have stopped. I only have positive contacts now that I feel in complete control of.

Now the Greys I never dealt with physically, mentally though they did ask me permission and I said NO WAY. They left me a gift to prove to me they had been there (I asked them to do this) and went on their way.

I do have contacts once in a while with some reptilians, but I am not afraid and they seem to be cast-aways from their own race. They seem to be working for the good of humanity. I once had a very negative encounter, long ago that frightened me, but those days are long over.

As I said, I enjoy my contacts now, and have many unique and helpful races come to see me. I feel in control of this and can stop it anytime I feel I need to. (So far, at least for the last ten years) The races that are contacting me now seem to be at a higher vibe then when I was a child, it seems my own spiritual evolution is connected to this very closely.

My question is this, if you could change these events would you? Or do you feel that the present way things are have created a unique path to LOVE and UNITY that full-fills you? You are a loving person, have these experiences aided you or would you have them changed if you could?

I am wondering because a lot of what you are saying reminds me of an abuse victim who has been in an abusive situation for so long that he/she is now identifying with the captors. Do you see what I'm saying? I am just exploring here, and hope deeply that you have the most loving experience that you can have on this planet. I say this with LOVE and a deep respect for your past/present and future.

Peace of Mind,
Wormhole

[Visvasa144]

Originally Posted by David

I have been in their program for so long that it no longer matters what I think or I have made a deal that is hidden subconsciously that is long term and cannot be broken.

It does matter what you think. it can be broken. everything that is done can be undone. thats freewill. what i have experienced and may apply to you as well is that in previous lives the Reptilians may have with your consent of your free will or not. have you contractually obligated with a soul piece. they could have tricked you, they could have bribed you, they could have tortured you and then gotten the soul piece under duress that allows then to enter your space.

remember they can timeline track you throughout your reincarnations. im just telling this through my experiences and other very very credible sources. if the Reptilians are messing with you it is not an accident.

you may have latent abilities that they dont want to see manifested.

i feel wormhole raised a good point about abused victims "identifying with the captors".

they dont give a f-ck about you. all that nice stuff is them being manipulating and in the end all they are doing is using your own weaknesses against yourself. if you have a kind sympathetic heart they will know this and use it against you.

they exploit and try to conquer and control.

are you a vegetarian? it is very important.

take care,
elias visvasa

[David]

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[Wormhole]

We are there for you, my brave friend.

Peace of Mind,
Wormhole

[R34TT]

http://www.youtube.com/user/r35tt

[R34TT]

http://www.projectavalon.net/forum/s...ead.php?t=4721

[R34TT]

just the other day:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKzii...e=channel_page

[R34TT]

This is a great read.. thanks for taking the time to share...

One odd experience.. that happened soon after my sightings started..
I was using blower after cutting lawn.. standing in the middle of the street
blowing the grass back towards my curb..blower was going full throttle..

all of the sudden in my left ear I heard A mans voice calmly say... "HEY"...
I about jumped outta my skin and spun around to see who it was...
there was nobody there... The gas powered blower is loud at full throttle..
But yet I heard it as if someone put their mouth to my ear.. cristal clear...
and the blower seemed tobe background noise for that precise moment..
almost muted..

I dont know about medatation and the things you people speek of..
But I want to learn more in hopes it will allow me to advance my contacts
to another level.. I have alot of questions rergarding my experiences..
recently ive been thinking that i need some new skill sets..

Ive bought some books on remote viewing.. astral projection..and hypnosis..
but its been hard to find time to get to them w/ all thats going on in my life..

Ide welcome any comments or advice..

[R34TT]

Hey David..

why do you think this is happening to you..
Any ideas..? Do you have any understanding..?
Do they explain any purpose..?

[David]

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[David]

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[Visvasa144]

Originally Posted by David

Thank you Wormhole & Visvasa144 for your kind comments and words of wisdom.

our pleasure

Originally Posted by David

In my early teens, I was an avid hunter and loved every moment of it. The excitement of the kill and the love of nature put me at home and at one with whom we are. Soon after the abductions started, I found it more and more difficult to pull that trigger. The hesitation of pulling that trigger was caused by a gradual increase of empathness?

clairsentience, nice. do you know how rare it is for a male to have this ability. im sure yours needs more developing but the building blocks are their.
clairsentience is an ability i have always had. you can do a lot of good with this ability. more women have this then men but more and more men are getting this ability back. its an aspect of the divine feminine energy. i was told that less then 4% or .4% of the males on this planet have this ability. it will grow with everyone being able to nurture this aspect of themselves if they choose.

so if you have this ability then the Heavenly Catalyst will help you develop it even more. when you do the meditation you create a sphere of light that you then light your entire being with. you can do it one chakra at a time or body part or whatever you feel is best. their is no right way. their is only a way in which you feel works best for you. the more and more you do this the stronger, compassionate, and more able to radiate, at will, this frequency that changes everything it touches, everything.

Originally Posted by David

I will never have that innocent view of the world again. Even though it causes pain to everyone that caries this kind of knowledge, I would never trade it in. The path I chose early on in life, has help me be the person I am today and would not change a thing. The trick now, is to figure out why.

yeah i can understand that you want the answer to that question and that will be in due time. you sent the intention out from your soul being and because of the way the universal IS, this answer will come to you. now in the mean time what are you going to do? just my suggestion but do everything you can to develop yourself in all aspects of your life and being and character. you will know when its time to know. the important thing is to keep healing. it will happen.

Originally Posted by David

I would not call myself a vegetarian. I may go for a couple weeks without eating meat. During this time, the smell of meat is fowl to me and want to gag. Then there are the times when a big juicy steak is all I crave.

thats very interesting. when i first got put into my program i innately went vegetarian. what i feel is that your higher self is already helping you out with this aspect of yourself. the thing is that REMOTE INFLUENCING is very powerful. do you know what R.I. is? look it up. it is very very powerful and many GOV. agencies, black magicians and evil off world entities use this form of control. its so subtle that you may think or even feel that it is you that wants to eat meat. but from my experience its really not your true being that craves eating another beings flesh. ask yourself why when you get really strong urges to do something.

when you eat meat from an animal you take on all the pain and fear that animal has experienced at the time of death. so this energy gets into your field. you become susceptible to these lower vibrations. they can use this against you and they are, against most of the worlds population.

heres the thing. the Gov. and off world evil beings do not like the fact that i am and most spiritual people are vegetarians. you gain abilities when your a vegetarian.

btw
are you by any military bases? or langley?

take care,
elias visvasa

[David]

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