Service To Others

Anchor · 03-07-2010, 11:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MargueriteBee

Thank you all for your responses. Sometimes I am not sure if I am being realistic in my situation. My situation feels like being married. I don't get credit for what I do, yet I am expected to put out regardless.

Also some jealously is involved. Since I am retired I don't have to work so my time is worthless kind of attitude. I will pick my time and place if I decide to leave. I may not though because I know what's coming and they are sleeping.

Edit: Maybe this is a part of my life plan but my ego/persona is fighting it.

Sounds to me like a kind of co-dependant relationship - and reading between the lines, this one sounds like it has run its course !!

More power to you!

AJ..

MargueriteBee · 03-08-2010, 12:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anchor

Sounds to me like a kind of co-dependant relationship - and reading between the lines, this one sounds like it has run its course !!

More power to you!

AJ..

Yes, it has run it's course. All I need is someone to take my place so I can be free.

Yes, my responsibility is believing what I was told before I moved in. Now, the question is what will I put up with. I feel like I came here to do a job by golly and I'm gonna do it.

Also, I must be very careful what I manifest in my life and carefully think thru any details, because then I have to live with it.

The good part is right now the calfs are playing and running in the pasture. The chickens are sweet and give me fresh eggs, I love all the animals, so how can I leave them?

I think it is time for me to take the reigns again and do some magic and make it better.

futureyes · 03-08-2010, 12:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MargueriteBee

Yes, it has run it's course. All I need is someone to take my place so I can be free.

Yes, my responsibility is believing what I was told before I moved in. Now, the question is what will I put up with. I feel like I came here to do a job by golly and I'm gonna do it.

Also, I must be very careful what I manifest in my life and carefully think thru any details, because then I have to live with it.

The good part is right now the calfs are playing and running in the pasture. The chickens are sweet and give me fresh eggs, I love all the animals, so how can I leave them?

I think it is time for me to take the reigns again and do some magic and make it better.

you CAN do it ...

Anchor · 03-08-2010, 12:21 AM

Service to self and Service to others are two sides of the same coin. As a fragment of all, service to self resolves itself as service to others, and service to others resolves itself to service to self.

However, you engage in this life for a reason, and under freewill you make choices. Those choices may be made in LOVE but not WISDOM.

I find that after a hard battle, Wisdom has to trump Love. One must be wise in knowing when and what to love. See ?

Many a co-dependant relationship was founded on love - and love motivates the service. However, was it wise in when judeged by the what is for the highest and best good of all?

Everything has a reason. Lessons are learned and we move on.

AJ..

MargueriteBee · 03-08-2010, 03:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anchor

Service to self and Service to others are two sides of the same coin. As a fragment of all, service to self resolves itself as service to others, and service to others resolves itself to service to self.

However, you engage in this life for a reason, and under freewill you make choices. Those choices may be made in LOVE but not WISDOM.

I find that after a hard battle, Wisdom has to trump Love. One must be wise in knowing when and what to love. See ?

Many a co-dependant relationship was founded on love - and love motivates the service. However, was it wise in when judeged by the what is for the highest and best good of all?

Everything has a reason. Lessons are learned and we move on.

AJ..

Excellent Anchor! As I was out mowing the lawn I was thinking is there a lesson here, if I leave will I miss it. It's like being a quitter and my gut won't take that. And I realized I have already taken the steps by standing up for myself and keeping my wallet closed.

Also, could we have made this agreement before landing in this life to have this situation just to learn from it?

Myra · 03-08-2010, 04:03 AM

Hi Marguerite,

I've heard of this "service to others/service to self" thing for awhile although I'm not sure of the real source of where it came from. Does anyone know of the source for sure or is this just word of mouth, really?

Bottom line is, many people who have given freely to others (service to others) have been taken advantage of and used by some people even to the point of PTSD and/or trauma in some cases (people that are victimized by others)

How in the world can a person like this be of "service to others" when they have been bled dry and have nothing more to give?

In that case those people need to draw back and nurture and take care of themselves first. Just like that old saying....how can your help others when you can't even take your self? In this case the insistence of "service to others" goes too far.

Bottom line is don't feel obligated and do what you feel is best for you.

I hope this helps and I hope I'm making sense

THE eXchanger · 03-08-2010, 04:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Myra

How in the world can a person like this be of "service to others"
when they have been bled dry and have nothing more to give?

In that case those people need to draw back and nurture and take care of themselves first. Just like that old saying....
how can your help others when you can't even take your self?

In this case the insistence of "service to others" goes too far.

Bottom line is don't feel obligated and do what you feel is best for you.

I hope this helps and I hope I'm making sense

This is very good advise

there are times, when you have to look at where the 'bar' is set

if you have set it too low, for another
and, too high, for yourself

things are NOT in a state of equalibrum/nor, are they in balance/or check

time perhaps, to review, the current state of affairs, with the other

and, rise the bar

TRANCOSO · 03-08-2010, 05:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Myra

Hi Marguerite,

I've heard of this "service to others/service to self" thing for awhile although I'm not sure of the real source of where it came from. Does anyone know of the source for sure or is this just word of mouth, really?

On 26-02-2010 I started the thread 'Service 2 Self = Service 2 Others'.

http://projectavalon.net/forum/showthread.php?t=20435

Duhhuhhh!!!!

MargueriteBee · 03-08-2010, 06:39 AM

Thanks everyone! I certainly have to give this a lot of thought and take my time. I need to work on getting things balanced so there can be peace here. I will check out that thread.

When we get our own lives balanced and peaceful will that change the world?

Céline · 03-08-2010, 06:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MargueriteBee

Thanks everyone! I certainly have to give this a lot of thought and take my time. I need to work on getting things balanced so there can be peace here. I will check out that thread.

When we get our own lives balanced and peaceful will that change the world?

it will change your world

Anchor · 03-08-2010, 07:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MargueriteBee

When we get our own lives balanced and peaceful will that change the world?

Yes - it is a step, and even if that step belongs to a millipede, it is still progress.

AJ..

Frank Samuel · 03-08-2010, 09:32 AM

The service to self ant others is complementary,two sides of the same coin.
1- set a personal goal for yourself, what do you want to accomplished in your life? Clarity of what you want to accomplished in your life will move these creative forces in the direction of your creative dreams.
2- How do you want to serve others? Charity, love. a hug, giving money, helping the homeless, helping family members. This one must be balance because you have to be careful not to harm yourself in the process, giving in my view is an infinite act so don't rush it, little at a time. In reality the benefit goes to the helper and not the helped, because people always need help in one form or another, if your heart does it without expecting anything in return the rush of energy satisfaction far outweighs your charitable act.
The first thing to remember is first take care of yourself then from this foundation you can begin to help others. Otherwise you will get hurt and burn instead of satisfy. However know that whatever you give of yourself with a selfless heart returns back to you 3x fold. This I know from experience. This is why I also say that it is the two sides of the same coin, it is complimentary when you create a balance between the two.

Blessings to you and yours

hippihillbobbi · 03-08-2010, 11:09 AM

Great Thread, ya'll! sounds like grown-up's talking reasonably (YAY ..... no defensiveness or hostility!!!)

BTW ..... as far as the concept of Service to Others/Service to Self ..... there's lots of information on that in the Ra material, right? Ra is one of my very favorite "sources."

hippihillbobbi

Kulapops · 03-08-2010, 12:16 PM

Hi MargueirteBee...

The 'now' is also an important consideration. A lot of our misery comes from thinking about the past, or projecting forward into the future.

Ask yourself about whatever you are doing, how do you feel now, this second? If you're feeding chickens.. enjoy the act of feeding chickens, try not to colour it with the thought.. 'I'm feeding chickens for so and so.. and they don't appreciate my help, they take me for granted.. I'm always feeding ruddy chickens, me. Just who do they think they are? Bet the chickens don't care either.... if you see what I mean

There is only ever THIS SECOND. So how are we going to use it, and where are our thoughts during that second?

Alternatively, the respone to:

'Can you help me out?'

'Yes, certainly sir, which way did you come in?'

may help...

Best wishes,

K

MargueriteBee · 03-09-2010, 03:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kulapops

Hi MargueirteBee...

The 'now' is also an important consideration. A lot of our misery comes from thinking about the past, or projecting forward into the future.

Ask yourself about whatever you are doing, how do you feel now, this second? If you're feeding chickens.. enjoy the act of feeding chickens, try not to colour it with the thought.. 'I'm feeding chickens for so and so.. and they don't appreciate my help, they take me for granted.. I'm always feeding ruddy chickens, me. Just who do they think they are? Bet the chickens don't care either.... if you see what I mean

There is only ever THIS SECOND. So how are we going to use it, and where are our thoughts during that second?

Alternatively, the respone to:

'Can you help me out?'

'Yes, certainly sir, which way did you come in?'

may help...

Best wishes,

K

Yes, this are the questions I went thru when I decided I will be happy no matter what, and I do enjoy feeding the chickens, they love it too!

MargueriteBee · 03-09-2010, 04:02 AM

I have to put things into perspective. I went from living in a second story apartment where if the light bulb burned out all I had to do is call and they would come and change it, to running a cattle ranch and having to do everything myself while learning how. Whew!

TRANCOSO · 03-09-2010, 04:07 AM

So if someone sort of half 'nicks' the title of a thread, to start a thread of his/hers own with it, I suppose that could be called 'Service 2 Self = Service 2 Others'?

Or the other way round?

As in: 'The door isn't where the window should be, & the window isn't where the door should be'.

Anchor · 03-08-2010, 04:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MargueriteBee

Also, could we have made this agreement before landing in this life to have this situation just to learn from it?

Certainly, it could be that way - but knowing that doesnt change anything does it

AJ..

03-08-2010, 12:21 AM	#4
Anchor Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia Posts: 2,280	Re: Service To Others Service to self and Service to others are two sides of the same coin. As a fragment of all, service to self resolves itself as service to others, and service to others resolves itself to service to self. However, you engage in this life for a reason, and under freewill you make choices. Those choices may be made in LOVE but not WISDOM. I find that after a hard battle, Wisdom has to trump Love. One must be wise in knowing when and what to love. See ? Many a co-dependant relationship was founded on love - and love motivates the service. However, was it wise in when judeged by the what is for the highest and best good of all? Everything has a reason. Lessons are learned and we move on. AJ..

03-08-2010, 04:03 AM	#6
Myra Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: So Cal Coast USA Posts: 340	Re: Service To Others Hi Marguerite, I've heard of this "service to others/service to self" thing for awhile although I'm not sure of the real source of where it came from. Does anyone know of the source for sure or is this just word of mouth, really? Bottom line is, many people who have given freely to others (service to others) have been taken advantage of and used by some people even to the point of PTSD and/or trauma in some cases (people that are victimized by others) How in the world can a person like this be of "service to others" when they have been bled dry and have nothing more to give? In that case those people need to draw back and nurture and take care of themselves first. Just like that old saying....how can your help others when you can't even take your self? In this case the insistence of "service to others" goes too far. Bottom line is don't feel obligated and do what you feel is best for you. I hope this helps and I hope I'm making sense

03-08-2010, 06:39 AM	#9
MargueriteBee Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Northern California Posts: 216	Re: Service To Others Thanks everyone! I certainly have to give this a lot of thought and take my time. I need to work on getting things balanced so there can be peace here. I will check out that thread. When we get our own lives balanced and peaceful will that change the world?

03-08-2010, 09:32 AM	#12
Frank Samuel Project Avalon Moderator Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: i live in puerto rico Posts: 643	Re: Service To Others The service to self ant others is complementary,two sides of the same coin. 1- set a personal goal for yourself, what do you want to accomplished in your life? Clarity of what you want to accomplished in your life will move these creative forces in the direction of your creative dreams. 2- How do you want to serve others? Charity, love. a hug, giving money, helping the homeless, helping family members. This one must be balance because you have to be careful not to harm yourself in the process, giving in my view is an infinite act so don't rush it, little at a time. In reality the benefit goes to the helper and not the helped, because people always need help in one form or another, if your heart does it without expecting anything in return the rush of energy satisfaction far outweighs your charitable act. The first thing to remember is first take care of yourself then from this foundation you can begin to help others. Otherwise you will get hurt and burn instead of satisfy. However know that whatever you give of yourself with a selfless heart returns back to you 3x fold. This I know from experience. This is why I also say that it is the two sides of the same coin, it is complimentary when you create a balance between the two. Blessings to you and yours

03-08-2010, 11:09 AM	#13
hippihillbobbi Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Oak Ridge, Tennessee, USA Posts: 120	Re: Service To Others Great Thread, ya'll! sounds like grown-up's talking reasonably (YAY ..... no defensiveness or hostility!!!) BTW ..... as far as the concept of Service to Others/Service to Self ..... there's lots of information on that in the Ra material, right? Ra is one of my very favorite "sources." hippihillbobbi

03-08-2010, 12:16 PM	#14
Kulapops Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Torbay, UK Posts: 704	Re: Service To Others Hi MargueirteBee... The 'now' is also an important consideration. A lot of our misery comes from thinking about the past, or projecting forward into the future. Ask yourself about whatever you are doing, how do you feel now, this second? If you're feeding chickens.. enjoy the act of feeding chickens, try not to colour it with the thought.. 'I'm feeding chickens for so and so.. and they don't appreciate my help, they take me for granted.. I'm always feeding ruddy chickens, me. Just who do they think they are? Bet the chickens don't care either.... if you see what I mean There is only ever THIS SECOND. So how are we going to use it, and where are our thoughts during that second? Alternatively, the respone to: 'Can you help me out?' 'Yes, certainly sir, which way did you come in?' may help... Best wishes, K

03-09-2010, 04:02 AM	#16
MargueriteBee Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Northern California Posts: 216	Re: Service To Others I have to put things into perspective. I went from living in a second story apartment where if the light bulb burned out all I had to do is call and they would come and change it, to running a cattle ranch and having to do everything myself while learning how. Whew!

03-09-2010, 04:07 AM	#17
TRANCOSO Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Amsterdam Posts: 964	Re: Service To Others So if someone sort of half 'nicks' the title of a thread, to start a thread of his/hers own with it, I suppose that could be called 'Service 2 Self = Service 2 Others'? Or the other way round? As in: 'The door isn't where the window should be, & the window isn't where the door should be'.