How can one deal with know it all's

[Shadowstalker]

I live with two folks that are know it all's my husband and a gal pal of mine, my gal pal is worse, she thinks that everything she has read, without real research, is the beans, the A.M.A. books are not lying to her (according to her) and so on, she also doesn't want to be told she is wrong, she has stated that to me face a number of times. she is on webmd as i type, spouting out redderick, but what she doesn't get is that any meds (prescribed)have been and has been used for more the one disorder, she doesn't get it.

Basically how do you deal with a person that doesn't want to hear that they are wrong no matter how polite you are them.. If i wasn't living with them it would not be a problem for me i would just say "whatever ok whatever" and then walk away. but living with it and no place to go, presents a problem for me. I am a listener first, and then if i feel they need advise i will give it..

I am not above lightening to the advise of others, so that's why I am asking.

If this is in the wrong section plz put in right place and let me know where it is..

thank you

[371]

Probably not helpful, but these are my thoughts...

I hear you, I think a lot of us have to deal with this.

Some people you can slowly try to get them to at least realize that maybe what they've always been taught is wrong, on some levels. But always within the context of whatever it is that they're talking about.

Baby steps and go from there. Take whatever small victories you can get.

I can tell you're not the type for this; but the last thing one would want to do is preach to these people and try to get them to see. What happens when someone tries to force something down your throat? Usually we vomit

Others, you just cant reach. Blinded in Chains are they. But they don't even know it. Like in the Allegory of the Cave...

Sometimes, I find it easier to just chuckle to myself inside about how STUCK a person it. Its easier than feeling bad about how misguided they are, and that you can't do anything to help them.

[Shadowstalker]

When we got done talking about it(near argument)She then took a shower and came our and asked if i wanted her to move out, I told her no that her and i where fine, but she kept on pushing it so i told her again we are fine but if she wanted to keep pushing her paranoia or what not then i would be uptight again. she is also liken to a drama dream, and loves attention. Good and bad attention, and creates more stress then not, when she wants what she wants or doesn't get her attentions..

[371]

Uh oh... I know the type.



They can be really difficult. I can't imagine having to live with one... sorry I don't know what else to say.

Good luck!

[gita]

Yep- been there and in the end done it!!

There really is such a simple solution to this even though the action to take may not be so easy (unless you decide to make it easy). Please allow me to explain my reasoning before suggesting a solution or two.

As you are a member of project avelon, I take it that you understand about different vibrations. Especially in these times where there seems to be more extreme polarities as some either go more towards the higher vibe whilst others are just too scared and uneducated and fight against it. It sounds as if you are the more open minded and the more easy going type than your friend which automatically makes your vibrations much lighter/quicker. This of course will not match to a heavier vibe that your friend is projecting which really is not helping you on your path. I’ve found that there are those who seem to progress quicker than others and when this happens friends and family can’t deal with it and try any sabotaging schemes they can use to bring things to status quo – this can often include conflicts, arguments and darn right pigheadedness.

Experience has shown me that when energies as such collide and one person seems to be hell bent on continuing this collision then,

1) It’s time to move on and refuse to engage with heavier energies as you’ve worked too hard to get where you are for anyone to drag you onto their path (your friend seems to have given you the solution on a plate by offering to be kicked out – so take her up on her offer)

2) Take it as an opportunity that the universe is asking you to prove yourself to be the patient and loving person that you declare (to the universe) yourself to be and experience the conflict and come out the other end intact.

I personally think that the second option is so 3D and not very helpful in these accelerating times which are headed towards a higher dimension.

From a psychology and more earthly point of view, your friend seems to be jealous of how well you are informed and is too lazy and scared to allow her mind to be more open and therefore engages in ‘levelling’ where she tries to bring herself up to your level by being unreasonable and confrontational.

I do hope this helps and I do feel for you.
Good luck and take your power back.

[Peace of mind]

If you are speaking about the topics that are discuss here, then that’s a giving. People were trained since birth, so to quote-unquote “wake someone up” it’s going to take some work and creativity.

Every human being on the Earth feels like they are right most of the time; it’s a normal condition of the ego. Training the ego to understand the suggestive views of right and wrong is the key. We learn from each other in various degrees so tolerance is important. Simply take what resonates with you and discard the rest. If it is truth others claim to speak and you still don’t understand their perspective…just let it go.

In these situations, it’s essential to recognize the intent of the matter not the information. If the intention is for a good cause than understand that there is no harm really done. If it dosen't fit you...chuck it. Conflicts are caused by ego's (not one ego). rise above it and feel better

The truth will always find a way to present itself to you sooner or later. In the mean time don’t let misunderstandings create unhealthy environments. We are all important, it’s just some people have insecurities in their life so they often force their ideas onto others in hopes of receiving a pat on the back. Character needs acknowledgment, yours/ mines/ everyone’s. But, you’ll get more attention by wearing at least one of the other person’s shoes. Being more of a listener is a great attribute to have. Patience is a virtue…and it will guide you to wisdom.

Peace

[371]

Sometimes it's really just not worth the argument... just let sleeping dogs lie.

This is how I look at it- if someone is REALLY hardheaded, and it'll be very hard to get them to see if you can do it at all, I ask myself "Is it worth it?". Vast majority of the time NO it isn't.

Think about it, becoming aware of the was things really are- how has that changed you life? Okay, everyone's personal answer will be different. Outlook- YES i think most will say. Other than that, maybe some have made decisions based on what they've learned that have affected their lives...

Changes everything, the way we see the world... but at the same time, changes nothing, unless we act on it.

Consider this- if you get this person to realize, what will you accomplish? Will it change this person's life, will it make it better? Will it make it worse, or your relationship with them better or worse?

Sometimes it's hard not to try to show someone you care about, (loved one, friend, coworker, etc.) the way things really are. And get them to realize that most of what they have been taught is a LIE.

But don't forget that some people aren't ready or DON'T WANT to see...

And forcing the issue might destroy your relationship or put unnecessary strains on it.

I think Steve_A gave the best advice so far...

[Christo888]

Medically speaking, it is illegal for a doctor and the entire medical profession to heal a person!

The medical industry is only allowed to solve your pain and discomfort with ingenious methods of practice; whereby numbing or removing the source of the pain or discomfort to bring relief.

Simply ask your 'associates'.... "How does a person heal themselves"... and then you will receive an onslaught of rage, temper tantrums, and anger directed at you for even asking such a ridiculous question.

Then just sit back and watch the fireworks.

You may even see **** start to get thrown all over the place, books, dishes, manuals, anything in sight will start flying.

Don't ever stop asking the question 'How does a person heal themselves.'

The most intelligent and brilliant minds will be befuddled, dumbfounded, baffled, and distraught... then one day the light bulb will go off and you will be able to have intelligent conversations with them at this point.

Try it.

[gita]

I’ve worked and lived with alcohol dependents and they all read the same script (no pun indented). What I’m about to say may seem harsh but it truly comes from much experience and a very compassionate place. It’s wonderful to help another being but there comes a time when helping someone for too long make them become dependant on you. She already has an addictive personality as she abuses alcohol and pills and yes I know you said she’s slowed down but the fact remains that she’s still taking them – on top of that she’s become addictive/dependant on you to be there for her whilst at the same time she abuses your kindness – it’s just a vicious circle. The best gift anyone can give in these circumstances are to cut loose the person who continuously plays the victim – this is tough love. Nowhere is it written that you have to help someone at your own expense – this is just a victim/saviour situation where the only direction is to go round and round which never leads to progress. Sometimes in life you really have to make harsh decisions and you have to be strong enough to make the right choice for the highest good of all involved. You are not her keeper and have no obligations or responsibility towards her, however you have a great responsibility to yourself. You’ve tried all you can and she still not responding in a healing manner. You’ve done your bit for her and it’s time to start paying a bit more attention to your own needs. Her soul will thank you for it!

[Carmen]

Wise words, gita!

[gita]

Well thank you kind Carmen. That kind of 'wisdom' comes with a hefty price tag but the older I get the more worthwhile it becomes.

[gita]

You seem to have become more protective towards your friend as this thread continues. It’s understandable. I suppose you may not yet be ready to yield your power in this situation but when you wake up one day and say ‘not one more day will I put up with this’ then she’d better watch out! In your own time shadowstalker and all the best.

[Shadowstalker]

it's not a matter of defending her, I am just letting more out about her as I don't always have all the info at the time I am typing, I am easily stressed these day and don't want any misinterpretations or misunderstandings along along the way, my thoughts are sparse and spurting at times

[gita]

Did not mean to stress you – I just said ‘You seem to have become more protective...’ As I also said,’ I’ve worked and lived with alcohol dependents...’ meaning that everyone of them without exception had the same type of behaviour and seemed to have buried most of their own personality under the personality of addiction. I really have lived through this and I know how stressful it can be - and it sounds as if you have a lot on your plate and too much stress.
The only way to get less stressed is to have less stressful situations in your life. This is simply a life choice and a commitment made to yourself in order for the haze around you to lift.

[Shadowstalker]

No, you didn't cause me stress, And I understand what you are saying.. I am not discounting it in the slightest.. Just waiting upon more responses, who knows maybe a combination of things may help all involved
I am stressed on a normal basis as it is... it's just me.. so no you did not cause me stress.... Just looking out for all the options i can gather before i can make the right choice for all involved


Just repeated my self didn't I ?

[Shadowstalker]

I found this thread that i had made to be very enlightening, and very uplifting, very knowledgeable and nurturing, you guys are awesome

Thank you

[Shadowstalker]

Yes I have taken that into consideration as well, that thought along with all who have spoken here have crossed my mind..

But at the same time she is not always here, she does find a place from time to time and for the most part she comes back wiser, albeit a very slow pace, but there have been milestones, like her not drinking so much or abusing her scripts as much.. Most of the folks she hangs with are abusers on many levels..

And she has been trying to get back into MHMR. to get proper diagnoses.. Usually she goes in for a quick fix(abuse)..
But in this case she as to stay for a few weeks and meds are regulated..

So I know she is doing something for the better..

[Shadowstalker]

Funny things is, her and i do agree and many things in the spirituality issue and perspective issue, so we a computable in that area, But when it comes time for her to come out and prove that, she falters, and doesn't truly show it in the end.

I know she is at the cusp of resonating on a higher level, I can feel it when we get into those discussions we actually enjoy each others presents even more.

But when it comes to the meds issue and other material things such as I discussed earlier she is all over the place...

It's not a matter of me changing her per say, I am pretty much patient for when she wants to change, it's me needing to know how to deal with it all in my face on a daily basis.

[Shadowstalker]

Medically speaking, it is illegal for a doctor and the entire medical profession to heal a person!

WOW i didn't know that one, learn something new every time i come here.

[Christo888]

Originally Posted by Shadowstalker

Medically speaking, it is illegal for a doctor and the entire medical profession to heal a person!

WOW i didn't know that one, learn something new every time i come here.

That is why a licensed professional has to have malpractice insurance... because they ARE going to mess up.

Numb the pain or cut it out that is all 'they' know.

:mfr_ lol:

[New Age Messiah]

Originally Posted by Christo888

That is why a licensed professional has to have malpractice insurance... because they ARE going to mess up.

Numb the pain or cut it out that is all 'they' know.

Totally true.

Except one other thing they know, money, money, money.

[371]

Originally Posted by Shadowstalker

It's not a matter of me changing her per say, I am pretty much patient for when she wants to change, it's me needing to know how to deal with it all in my face on a daily basis.

Is it possible that part of the problem is not her, but you?

[Shadowstalker]

Originally Posted by 371

Is it possible that part of the problem is not her, but you?

Um I just said that

What i need to know is what to do with myself when she shoves herself in my face like i don't have a say in it. I cant' tell her i disagree, cuz she get upset, I can't tell her she is wrong she gets mad, I can't really just sit there and take it, cuz then she accuses me of ignoring her and at the same time she says she doesn't want me to agree with her to keep the convo going. she is confusing..

[371]

lol, I know- just making sure you did too

[Shadowstalker]

I am grateful for all who are helping me today, and you have all help in some way in other threads on some many subjects.

I have had the opportunity to toss her out, but when we met she had and still has no safe place to go and this is a safe home for her, When we first met i met her at a place called Mental Health Mental Retardation, it is an E.R. type setting for mentally and emotionally distressed people. At that point she was abusing alcohols and scripts, she has slowed down immensely, since those are the rules in my house, no overdosing and no getting drunk, so far she has been in and out of the house for the past 5 months but each time she comes back i remind her of the rules. So far so good.

But since then she is so animate about what she knows and stuff (even back then).,

She claims she is spiritual and knowledgeable, But that only seems to come out when she is tipsy not drunk(as I wont allow that)She also loves it when I hold her and seems to need me a lot, but she also has a person in her life (her boyfriend) who likes to use his gifts (AS IT WHERE) to, shall we say her from knowing anything but what he has to say. he is controlling and manipulative, and since then she has been more combative with me since I told her i can not bless there union once again, (as he is very abusive) I know that she is in total conflict as she wants the past and not truly understanding her true potential with out him. she is also not use to someone with so much patients and understanding, she is use to being called names and such.. I have been showing the complete opposite.. A loving home loving family and such.

Sorry i am just trying to put in more info about her, i am just trying all angles to get more suggestions..

I do feel as tho'' I am being tested at times about my spirituality, especially i the past year. by many people.