_AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours

Dantheman62 · 03-06-2009, 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brinty

Oh how true eXchanger. How true, how true!

I was beginning to think that I was just a grumpy old man.

Another thing that's happening nowadays, is crime, crime and more crime. Why, because the useless, brainless twits today can't think for themselves and with too much time on their hands they are stuffing everyone's enjoyment of life by stealing what they want because it's easier than working - that's if they were even capable of holding down a job.

There is one question I would ask in all seriousness - how are they going to survive when the electricity generators go belly up and nothing electrical will work?????

Good point Brinty!, and it's only going to get worse. Our national unemployment rate is now 8.1%, that's almost 20 million people!!!!!!
2 million in California alone! It's happening right now before our eyes I'm afraid.
Another 6 months, if nothing changes, will be devastating!

Carmen · 03-06-2009, 07:59 PM

I still can't get that one Kathleen. Maybe its just as well. Thanks anyway

Cheers

Carmen

giovonni · 03-06-2009, 11:12 PM

Carman
here he is!
I want to kiss you all over Johnny Depp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Cjc0-Ze_f0

THE eXchanger · 03-07-2009, 02:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by giovonni

I want to kiss you all over Johnny Depp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Cjc0-Ze_f0

This is quite funny
part 1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0cmBAXXM5U

part 2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VTdL...eature=related

part 3

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNDPz...eature=related

geez...i'd love all his parts LOL

Carmen · 03-07-2009, 02:49 AM

Thanks eXchanger, He's one cool dude, love his acting.

THE eXchanger · 03-07-2009, 04:12 AM

ahh; he is a part of my soul family

giovonni · 03-07-2009, 04:31 AM

Here's another one for you Susan!

BROOK · 03-07-2009, 06:08 AM

Okay...The annual Avalon Dance contest....
Contestant number 1...

Ouch....next...

BROOK · 03-07-2009, 06:14 AM

Contestant number 2...

BROOK · 03-07-2009, 06:15 AM

Contestant number 3...

Okay...everyone...lets vote....

Brinty · 03-07-2009, 11:16 AM

I'd be inclined to vote for number three personally.
I have the feeling about number one that I've been there, done that and have the broken nose and neck to prove it. I usually skid across the floor and end up under a table afterwards.
Number two is disqualified for giving the judges the bird.

Carmen · 03-07-2009, 11:28 AM

Heres a joke for ya Brinty, tho might be a good one for Gio too

Irish Golfer

A golfer, playing in Ireland, hooked his drive into the woods. Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head, and the golfer's ball beside him.

Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart and poured it over the
little guy, reviving him.

'Arrgah! What happened?' the Leprechaun asked.

'I'm afraid I hit you with my golf ball,' the golfer says.

'Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square. Ye get three wishes, so whaddya want?'

'Thank God, you're all right!', the golfer answers in relief. 'I don't want
anything; I'm just glad you're OK; and I apologize.'

And the golfer walks off.

'What a nice guy,' the Leprechaun says to himself.

I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things I would want... a great golf game, all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life.'

A year goes by and the golfer is back. On the same hole, he again hits a bad drive into the woods and the Leprechaun is there waiting for him.

'Twas me that made ye hit the ball here,' the little guy says. 'I just want to
ask ye, how's yer golf game?'

'My game is fantastic!', the golfer answers. I'm an internationally famous golfer now.' He adds, 'By the way, it's good to see you're all right.'

'Oh, I'm fine now, thank ye. I did that fer yer golf game, you know. And tell me, how's yer money situation?'

'Why, it's just wonderful!', the golfer states. 'When I need cash, I just reach in my pocket and pull out $100 bills I didn't even know were there!'

'I did that fer ye also.' And tell me, how's yer sex life?'

The golfer blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment, and says shyly, 'It's OK.'

C'mon, c'mon now,' urged the Leprechaun, 'I'm wanting to know if I did a good job. How many times a week?'

Blushing even more, the golfer looks around, then whispers, 'Once, sometimes twice a week.'

'What??', responds the Leprechaun in shock. 'That's all? Only once or twice a week?'

'Well,' says the golfer, 'I figure that's not bad for a Catholic priest in a
small parish.'

giovonni · 03-08-2009, 03:55 AM

The three deadly vices of a holy life~
Sex ~ Golf and Leprechauns!

Luminari · 03-08-2009, 10:14 AM

Warm Greetings to all who read this,

I've just checked in at the Avalon library..

I see 1 (and only 1) wise being of great integrity has so far downloaded

The White Book by RAMTHA

Lets not forget why we are on this forum.. a shared vision of a better future for all, greater awareness of important and little understood but vitally important issues. Empowerment beyond the pathetic material system that seeks to enslave us.. and hopefully also empowerment beyond false ideological trappings of enslaving belief systems aswel.

Its not everyday someone facilitates for you, access to what is possibly the most important book ever written; that will awaken your own god self and transcend mortality and the wheel of incarnation.

Like an angel holding a glass of precious water out to a man dying of thirst in the desert.

All you have to do is reach out and take it.

BROOK · 03-08-2009, 05:48 PM

Thanks for the information...I will check it out when I get home from work..I cannot download anything when I'm here at work..sounds like you place much importance on this book...so it's worth giving a read
Thanks again
Brook

Luminari · 03-09-2009, 12:41 AM

Thanks Brook, the book is like a gate to a place you never thought you could reach in your waking life. But it is real.

Just like in my regular life.. I talk things up that are unbelievably important and people just ignore me. Oh well, I made the effort with pure intentions only to free hearts and minds, I have no ulterior motive, just kindness.

Carmen · 03-09-2009, 08:37 AM

Where are ya Dan< I finally found a good Bull (and Cow) story for you

21 Economic Models Explained

SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the

milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM

You have two giraffes.

The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND VENTURE CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of

credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a

debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all

four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a

Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who

sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on

one more.

You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving

you with nine cows.

No balance sheet provided with the release.

The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want

three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and

produce twenty times the milk.

You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market

it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and

milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.

You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You count them and learn you have five cows.

You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.

You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.

You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You have 300 people milking them.

You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.

You tell them that you have none.

No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your

country.

You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Business seems pretty good.

You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION

You have two cows.

The one on the left looks very attractive

Brinty · 03-09-2009, 08:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carmen

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION

You have two cows.

The one on the left looks very attractive

Oh dear Carmen, now we Kiwis will get flak from our Aussie mates about cows as well as sheep.

Carmen · 03-09-2009, 09:02 AM

I know Brinty, damn it all. I figured other nationalities wouldnt mind so much, as this joke was taking the **** out of New Zealand just as much.

Czymra · 03-09-2009, 11:17 AM

Quote:

SURREALISM

You have two giraffes.

The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

Excellent! Very funny!

Dantheman62 · 03-09-2009, 04:56 PM

That's awesome Carmen!, I'm going to copy it and send it around! HaHa

Relayer · 03-09-2009, 07:46 PM

Hey fellas, check out the new waitress:

She's serving me my JellyBean.

Love and peace to all.
John
Relayer

rhythm · 03-09-2009, 09:01 AM

you lot are definitley
my soul family .
alcolholics
uninhibited cross dressers
a disgrace to the human race
and completley f ...in bonker
thats gonna be some party
on the return trip, brothers and sisters .
OUR ship stocking up the bar as i speak
keep wacthing for lights
you may see jimmy wavin
out the window , singing all along the watchtower ... well its been a long wait ...
see yer there me old heartys

03-06-2009, 07:59 PM	#2
Carmen Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: New Zealand Posts: 992	Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours I still can't get that one Kathleen. Maybe its just as well. Thanks anyway Cheers Carmen

03-06-2009, 11:12 PM	#3
giovonni Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: within my heart Posts: 1,209	Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours Carman here he is! I want to kiss you all over Johnny Depp http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Cjc0-Ze_f0 Last edited by giovonni; 03-07-2009 at 04:17 AM.

03-07-2009, 02:49 AM	#5
Carmen Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: New Zealand Posts: 992	Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours Thanks eXchanger, He's one cool dude, love his acting.

03-07-2009, 04:12 AM	#6
THE eXchanger Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Spiritual eXplorer-Canada Posts: 4,915	Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours ahh; he is a part of my soul family

03-07-2009, 04:31 AM	#7
giovonni Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: within my heart Posts: 1,209	Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours *Here's another one for you Susan!*

03-07-2009, 06:08 AM	#8
BROOK Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 3,117	Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours Okay...The annual Avalon Dance contest.... Contestant number 1... Ouch....next...

03-07-2009, 06:14 AM	#9
BROOK Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 3,117	Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours Contestant number 2...

03-07-2009, 06:15 AM	#10
BROOK Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 3,117	Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours Contestant number 3... Okay...everyone...lets vote....

03-07-2009, 11:16 AM	#11
Brinty Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Blackbutt, Queensland, Australia Posts: 1,004	Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours I'd be inclined to vote for number three personally. I have the feeling about number one that I've been there, done that and have the broken nose and neck to prove it. I usually skid across the floor and end up under a table afterwards. Number two is disqualified for giving the judges the bird.

03-07-2009, 11:28 AM	#12
Carmen Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: New Zealand Posts: 992	Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours Heres a joke for ya Brinty, tho might be a good one for Gio too Irish Golfer A golfer, playing in Ireland, hooked his drive into the woods. Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head, and the golfer's ball beside him. Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving him. 'Arrgah! What happened?' the Leprechaun asked. 'I'm afraid I hit you with my golf ball,' the golfer says. 'Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square. Ye get three wishes, so whaddya want?' 'Thank God, you're all right!', the golfer answers in relief. 'I don't want anything; I'm just glad you're OK; and I apologize.' And the golfer walks off. 'What a nice guy,' the Leprechaun says to himself. I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things I would want... a great golf game, all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life.' A year goes by and the golfer is back. On the same hole, he again hits a bad drive into the woods and the Leprechaun is there waiting for him. 'Twas me that made ye hit the ball here,' the little guy says. 'I just want to ask ye, how's yer golf game?' 'My game is fantastic!', the golfer answers. I'm an internationally famous golfer now.' He adds, 'By the way, it's good to see you're all right.' 'Oh, I'm fine now, thank ye. I did that fer yer golf game, you know. And tell me, how's yer money situation?' 'Why, it's just wonderful!', the golfer states. 'When I need cash, I just reach in my pocket and pull out $100 bills I didn't even know were there!' 'I did that fer ye also.' And tell me, how's yer sex life?' The golfer blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment, and says shyly, 'It's OK.' C'mon, c'mon now,' urged the Leprechaun, 'I'm wanting to know if I did a good job. How many times a week?' Blushing even more, the golfer looks around, then whispers, 'Once, sometimes twice a week.' 'What??', responds the Leprechaun in shock. 'That's all? Only once or twice a week?' 'Well,' says the golfer, 'I figure that's not bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish.'

03-08-2009, 03:55 AM	#13
giovonni Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: within my heart Posts: 1,209	Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours The three deadly vices of a holy life~ Sex ~ Golf and Leprechauns!

03-08-2009, 10:14 AM	#14
Luminari Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 2,570	Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours Warm Greetings to all who read this, I've just checked in at the Avalon library.. I see 1 (and only 1) wise being of great integrity has so far downloaded The White Book by RAMTHA Lets not forget why we are on this forum.. a shared vision of a better future for all, greater awareness of important and little understood but vitally important issues. Empowerment beyond the pathetic material system that seeks to enslave us.. and hopefully also empowerment beyond false ideological trappings of enslaving belief systems aswel. Its not everyday someone facilitates for you, access to what is possibly the most important book ever written; that will awaken your own god self and transcend mortality and the wheel of incarnation. Like an angel holding a glass of precious water out to a man dying of thirst in the desert. All you have to do is reach out and take it. Last edited by Luminari; 03-08-2009 at 01:14 PM.

03-08-2009, 05:48 PM	#15
BROOK Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 3,117	Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours Thanks for the information...I will check it out when I get home from work..I cannot download anything when I'm here at work..sounds like you place much importance on this book...so it's worth giving a read *Thanks again* *Brook*

03-09-2009, 12:41 AM	#16
Luminari Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 2,570	Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours Thanks Brook, the book is like a gate to a place you never thought you could reach in your waking life. But it is real. Just like in my regular life.. I talk things up that are unbelievably important and people just ignore me. Oh well, I made the effort with pure intentions only to free hearts and minds, I have no ulterior motive, just kindness.

03-09-2009, 08:37 AM	#17
Carmen Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: New Zealand Posts: 992	Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours Where are ya Dan< I finally found a good Bull (and Cow) story for you 21 Economic Models Explained SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk. NAZISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRATISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away. TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. SURREALISM You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead. ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND VENTURE CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull. A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide. A GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them. A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation. AN INDIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You worship them. A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows. Both are mad. AN IRAQI CORPORATION Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy. AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate. A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive

03-09-2009, 09:02 AM	#19
Carmen Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: New Zealand Posts: 992	Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours I know Brinty, damn it all. I figured other nationalities wouldnt mind so much, as this joke was taking the **** out of New Zealand just as much.

03-09-2009, 04:56 PM	#21
Dantheman62 Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: So. Cal. U.S. Posts: 4,205	Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours That's awesome Carmen!, I'm going to copy it and send it around! HaHa

03-09-2009, 07:46 PM	#22
Relayer Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Deer Park. Victoria. Australia Posts: 136	Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours Hey fellas, check out the new waitress: She's serving me my JellyBean. Love and peace to all. John Relayer

03-09-2009, 09:01 AM	#23
rhythm Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: devon england Posts: 1,905	Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours *you lot are definitley* *my soul family .* *alcolholics* *uninhibited cross dressers* *a disgrace to the human race* *and completley f ...in bonker* *thats gonna be some party* *on the return trip, brothers and sisters .* *OUR ship stocking up the bar as i speak* *keep wacthing for lights* *you may see jimmy wavin* *out the window , singing all along the watchtower ... well its been a long wait ...* *see yer there me old heartys*