I'm so confused about 2012

[Czymra]

Originally Posted by Carol

I've sensed that the timeline shifted again a day to two ago.

In addition, according to an inside contact there is a space war in-progress going on over our heads right now where earth status is Red Emergency.

Ed Grimsly claims this has been going on but last night's C2C guest, Peter Davenport said there was some type of combat was going on between two space crafts

I wouldn't be surprised. The days after the full moon were weird and the last couple of days wasn't different either. Luckily it seems calmer now.

[orthodoxymoron]

The concept of saving one's self...while the others fry...and being ok with it...is very dangerous and even demonic. Escaping responsibility via The Second Coming of Christ, The Rapture, Transformation into 4th and 5th Density, Being Part of a World Cleansed of Undesirables, etc...while the others fry...and being ok with it...is very dangerous and even demonic. Being part of an elite group or elite belief system...or achieving high levels of spirituality...and making it...while the others fry...and being ok with it...is very dangerous and even demonic. I've been there and done that...and sometimes I still do that. It's just more master-race bs. I sometimes wonder if the 'bad-guys', whoever the heck they are...try to get us to think this way. You know...divide and conquer. I believe in standards, aspirations, rewarding responsibility, etc. But cutting fellow human beings lose...moving on...and being ok with it...is just wrong in my book. 2012 may fit into this sort of thinking. Could it be a ligitimate date which is being hijacked by lots of different agendas?

VISUALIZE US SAVING OUR WORLD...WITH ALL OF US MAKING IT. VISUALIZE THE TRANSFORMATION OF THE ENTIRE HUMAN RACE INTO 4TH AND 5TH DENSITY.

[Czymra]

Originally Posted by orthodoxymoron

The concept of saving one's self...while the others fry...and being ok with it...is very dangerous and even demonic. Escaping responsibility via The Second Coming of Christ, The Rapture, Transformation into 4th and 5th Density, Being Part of a World Cleansed of Undesirables, etc...while the others fry...and being ok with it...is very dangerous and even demonic. Being part of an elite group or elite belief system...or achieving high levels of spirituality...and making it...while the others fry...and being ok with it...is very dangerous and even demonic.

VISUALIZE US SAVING OUR WORLD...WITH ALL OF US MAKING IT. VISUALIZE THE TRANSFORMATION OF THE ENTIRE HUMAN RACE INTO 4TH AND 5TH DENSITY.

Good point! Best point!

[TheChosen]

All the objective facts, opinions, information etc have already been presented about 2012 all over the internet (as well as the 2012 thread) ... so I will contribute only with my highly subjective opinion.

There is definately something to 2012 , definately not another 2YK (I never even thought much about 2YK even though I was deeply into the esoteric fields).

For a start.. there is at least 1 ET faction that points us in this direction. You can't get more direct than the crop circle of the solar system situation in 2012 (with sun expanded). Are they telling us the truth? I don't know... but I know there were surely no crop circles or ET information about the Y2K

Ever since I grew up I knew I am part of the ET collective, I knew that a day would come when I would be at a certain age and there would be some event that would change my life forever.

Come december 23th 2012 , I will be 33 years old and 23 days old. Long story short, after many personal experiences the law of one (by RA) pretty much sums up what I've come to see as true. The law of thelema (do what you will)is also what I hold as the highest truth. When you read it you will see that the harvest concerns only a small fraction of humanity which is ready, the rest will continue with their 3D even if on another planet (it makes logic sense... David Wilcock is wrong... you can't ascend a being which has no desire to ascend). Ask most humanity they will tell you they are perfectly happy within this reality, within these parameters... they have still a lot to learn. What this means for each of us? If this information does not resonate than maybe your higher aspects never planned for you to ascend at this point... maybe you are only here to witness the event for future reference. Ascension is not 'better' than staying behind. The best possible outcome is when your being fully resonates from its level of development to the level of existence it is in. Don't worry if you will make it or not... if your loved ones will make it or not... the only thing that matters is for each of us to be in harmony with the level we resonate with.

My entire life has been a fast track to remember all the parameters of 3D existence so I can understand this world. I've always felt racing against the clock, absorbing and remembering as much as I can... just until last year I was wondering what's the hurry?! I am only 28 years old and yet I spend most of my days absorbing knowledge and experiences, learning skills... Now I see what's the hurry.. 2012 may be the destination but the time for training is almost over, soon there may be a society collapse and each skill, higher understanding and knowledge would be gravely needed.

Its amazing just how much my life has been pre-planed and has clicked with global events and happenings.

Friends kept telling me to enter the stock exchange but somehow I knew it was not going to last. Somehow I knew earth changes were coming even though everything was apparently 'fine'.

I don't really know what the next years are going to be like, I don't know what exactly will happen on 2012.. but I do know I didn't come here to live in the status quo. I am projecting only 1% currently to the greater good of earth from my total abilities and astral experiences... I didn't come on earth to learn much (already passed these vibrations long time ago), I barely have any karma with other souls (whatever bits I had, have been promptly resolved)... and I sure didn't come here to waste time in this 3d reality by living a normal human life... which leads me to the conclusion that there is definately a huge change in the reality matrix about to happen, so I can fulfill whatever destiny I came here to fulfill (that requires the full use of my abilities and knowledge).

One thing I know for sure, many people with whom I feel the deepest soul connection are on this path of 2012. Even if it were nothing to happen, even if it was completely wrong I know there is a deeper reason that I must walk this path. Knowing the path and walking the path are two different things. Sometimes we are sent in the wrong direction just so we can reach the right destination. It is now an evident fact we are witnessing the most important moments of human history.... this surely can't be a coincidence when we are so close to 2012.



Mayan: They've always fascinated me since I've been a little kid. When I activated my kundalini half a year ago I was offered a place in an olmec temple (I had no idea at the time who the Olmec were and was astonished to see the exact statue later in the information about 2012... supposedly the Olmec passed the calendar and it was in turn passed to them from higher sources)

Its mind bogling when I think of all the incredible experiences I've been so far, all the incredible people I've met on my path, everything pointing to this direction. When I jump and read the facts supporting all this... it becomes clear that I must pursue this path... to ignore it would be to ignore my deepest parts.

Its not easy to think about changing the whole planet in 4D in a matter of 5 years when everything around us is still the same old earth (with 'minor' climate changes). Its not easy living in the real knowledge of this stuff and not brushing it off as nonsense when surrounded by hundreds of humans who haven't got a clue even to the astral realm, much less to the greater workings.

The truth is that you don't have to. Just follow the inner voice and live each day for what it is. Right now I firmly believe it is still the best strategy to play the game, speak up when asked but stay alert. The smart thing to do is to scan the internet weekly (or few times a week) for any new signs. Remember ... 2012 is the destination ... the next 4 years will be packed with events and changes (you have to count in the time acceleration effect). One way or the other, come 2013 we will be in a completely different world than we are now... even if it was only because of climate change and economic restructure.



There will come a time when you will have to make the hard decisions based on whether you believe 2012 to be real or not... we are not quite there yet (even though if I were in the USA i'd seriously consider relocating)... but the question we should be thinking is... will we act on this information when the time comes or will we follow the herd? I for one know I follow my heart no matter what... I've been explicitly warned to relocate but I feel I must stay at the current location for some more time. Timing is everything, be ready to snap out of the everyday life on a moments notice... We can't plan, we can't anticipate in these volatile times... invest in reactivity and flexibility.

[Czymra]

Thanks for sharing that, quite awesome. I shall have to annoy you at some point about more details.

[MyShadow]

Try not to take the discussion points of 2012 so 'literally'. Rather, open your focus to hear the messages, dreams and desires of collective consciouness fortold in these threads and stories. There you will find your personal preferences to what will become on your journey.

[Czymra]

See see how long your thread drags Carol.

[TheChosen]

Sure Czymra, I'd be happy to share.

MyShadow: I agree. Thats in a sense what I've been trying to say. See what resonates with you and take it.

Try not to think so much as of 2012 itself (as it is a long long loong way until we get there) but try to think what these messages mean to your immediate future. Personally I am planning now only 2 weeks ahead, its become that much unpredictable for me.

[piers2210]

The Chosen, for a 28 year old, you write very well, you obviuosly are very enlightened for your (relatively) short time on the planet (this time round). Congrats! Keep on posting, I like what you say.

Piers

[TheChosen]

Thanks piers.. I appreciate.

Another bit of info I just came to today. I was thinking just this morning that if this 2012 is truly a global event of such extreme magnitude and not only a major collective consciousness insert that applies to western civilization.. then we should be hearing a lot more hype from the tribes, shamans, voodoo priests etc etc (everyone that is off the internet grid and apart of western civilization).

Fair enough within hours to thinking of my concerns I came up to this:
http://www.godlikeproductions.com/fo...sage710391/pg1

Seems like the indigenous people and many tribes around the world are actively preparing the earth and expecting an event of this magnitude.. it is just that we don't hear about it. I hope to get hold of that book as it details Drunvalo's first hand accounts with all these people. Melchizedek Drunvalo has done some great reasearch in sacred geometry and everything that ties with it. There is some information I don't agree with but mostly I've learned a lot from him (I recommend his previous books the Flower of Life volume 1 & 2). The truth of human potential became so self-evident that I was deeply sadened after finishing those books... sadened because the potential is possible even within the natural laws of 3D.. if only we were 'allowed' to manifest them. (The current system is a far far cry from what is really possible.. and was actually a reality in the past) Many details about Atlantis and Egypt are also explained.



Long story short... among the now common story (4d transition, expansion of cosciousness, male/female cycles) they are expecting a pole shift latest until 2015 (and we all know what that means.. a practically end of the world as we know it).. but they all agree it is something beautiful.. not to be feared... a transition into 4D. The most intriguing fact was that these indigenous people have active memories of the last 26 000 years. They actually remember the previous cycles and exactly what happens during them.. but let me not spoil everything for you.. listen to the interview

[piers2210]

Chosen, I've wanted to listen to some Drunvalo stuff for a while, I heard one short interview he did a while back - but i'm staying with friends in asia and cant listen tonight....i have the immense privilege of being able to travel and write for myself these days. I keep notes like Bruce Chatwin did all those years ago...maybe i'll publish them one day....

Do you young guys listen to David Icke or is he now "too mainstream" hehehe. I like what he says about our dna and how this is the way we will develop...at the moment we use a mere 3-4% of our dna...enlightened people know that the other 97% is for use as our consciousness develops. We cannot do this when we are consumed by rules and fear. Once we use even a portion of this, the human race will be free. The question is : how?

Answers on a postcard please (before 2012).

P.

[Swanny]

Must admit I'm not that bothered about 2012 at the moment.
I think it's a long way off and we will have a lot to deal with over the next couple of years with the way things are going.
My guess is a lot of people aren't going to make it to 2012

[piers2210]

Swanny mate, got to admit i'm feeling the same....exactly what the elite want, hype it too early and then we're bored long before the thrust of the sword.....

I think we should just get on with our lives. I'm glad to know about the AW thread and all the info though...

My problem is that i'm fed up with everyday life anyway, i don't take drugs, don't eat meat, listen to electric jazz, don't buy porn mags, am on this forum too much, its time to move on...hehehehehe

[Swanny]

Must admit I'm bored stupid of the way things are as well and am actually hoping the world is turned upside down as it will make things much more interesting
Is it wrong to think like that??

[Dantheman62]

[piers2210]

Yeah, when i heard that the US Treasury guy said they had saved the world from collapse by a nano second, i was disappointed. Bring it on!!!

[Jack]

There is a lot of information out there about 2012, a heck of a lot of info and for some reason down through the years ive been somewhat mysteriously obsessed with it. And as it turns out its something that was well worth my time investigating.

I can give a brief synopsis on the information that i found most intriguing and let you make up your own mind about it. Although a lot of people are quick to dismiss channeled information its hard to deny the fact that some of it corealates so well with everything else. A perfect fit in the jigsaw puzzle.

So in no particular order ; (I'm gonna copy and paste some stuff because it took me ages to write it out before)

Ive noticed in my time here at Project Avalon that many people are feeling a profound subconcious calling that is urging them to take some form of action.
It may feel as though 'There is something you must do' .. A sensation that cannot be satisfied no matter what you do in your daily life.

This is the spiritual calling that we are all feeling, an urge to learn about who we are and why we are here. We will not find satisfaction by reading conspiracy theories, although this does play a vital role in our understanding of the world and how it is a reflection of our own consciousness.
The answers we are looking for are in the realms of spirituality. There is a spiritual revolution on planet earth, and it all starts with a simple urge.


Since we are visual auditory beings i will try my best to introduce you to material that is in video format. Its much easier and more effective to share information through Audio/Video.

These are all pieces of the puzzle, use your intuition wisely and it will guide you to the answers.

Its recommended that you give these four videos a look. They may be long but boy are they filled to the top with quality information.

Gregg Braden - Return to zero point. Part 1
Gregg Braden - Return to zero point. Part 2
Gregg Braden - Return to zero poin. Part 3
Gregg Braden - Return to zero point. Part 4


Doloras Cannon

Dolores Cannon is experiencing an evolution in her work as a hypnotherapist. Her clients (who are coming from all over the world) are no longer experiencing regressions into past lives. They are returning to the Source (God) to explain why they are living here in the world now. They are also supplying more detailed information about the shift in vibrations and frequencies as we move into the New Earth. This is where the focus should be at the present time. Many are experiencing their first life on Earth, and thus have no karma. They are here specifically to help with the shift into this new dimension. Who will make the transition into the new world, and who will be "left behind"? What are the effects being experienced by the human body as it makes the adjustment? Will we take our physical bodies with us? Why the influx of ET visitations have stopped with the closing of the portal, and the opening of the new one.

Dolores considers herself a regressionist and psychic researcher who specializes in the recovery and cataloging of "lost" knowledge. She has become, perhaps, the world's most unlikely expert on the prophecies of Nostradamus. A retired Navy wife from Arkansas, she was nearly 50 years old when she began experimenting with hypnosis and past-life regression. The results were, to say the least, quite spectacular. Working through several different vehicles (subjects), Dolores was able to establish communication with the living Michel De Notredame, better known as the prophet, Nostradamus. His revelations and their impact on our time are both fascinating and, at times, frightening.


Doloras Cannon. - Moving into a new earth.




Dannion Brinkley


The longest clinically documented Near Death Experience

Dannion Brinkley had a near-death experience (NDE) that lasted 28 minutes. This is the longest clinically documented near-death experience ever recorded. His experiences during these 28 minutes are related in great detail in his wonderful and inspiring best seller "Saved by the Light".

Dannion Brinkley was born and raised in rural South Carolina and even at an early age he was a bully and inflicted much suffering on others. In his late teens he joined the Marines. He now had a way of channelling his anger and violence into becoming a “killing machine”. Dannion so excelled at what he did that he was recruited into an intelligence unit and became a government assassin executing the removal of enemy politicians and military personnel. He says that he even enjoyed his job.

In 1975 while speaking on the telephone, Dannion was struck by lightning in the neck. During the period of his clinical death, Dannion underwent all aspects of the classic near-death experience in which he learned about the amazing time that we are living in.

Dannion's major world predictions are coming to pass with astounding accuracy, he has already set up a number of centres. He is known as one of the greatest psychics living in the world at this time and is a great inspiration to many.

Dannion Brinkley. - The changing face of time, 2012 is coming.[/CENTER]




~I would highly recommend checking out the "Law of One" series channeled from a being called Ra. Its a long piece of literature but very enlightening and definitly worth the read.


Something Beautiful is Going to Happen - Drunvalo Melchizedek : Part One

Something Beautiful is Going to Happen - Drunvalo Melchizedek : Part Two

Something Beautiful is Going to Happen - Drunvalo Melchizedek : Part Three

Something Beautiful is Going to Happen - Drunvalo Melchizedek : Part Four


And then there is Alex Collier. To save space in this post you can just watch the video to see what hes about


All of these highly spiritual people are saying the same thing. Is it merely coincidence.. do you believe in coincidences?

Sorry for the long post/repost. Hope it helps you Carol.

[futureyes]

Originally Posted by Carol

Has anyone had the thought that 2012 is just another Y2K?

another y2k ... no ... not at all ...

i'm just going to write what i feel in this moment ... what's moving through me ... now is good because it is a lot ...

so much emphasis placed on a date ... 2012 ... too much ...

takes the journey out of the equation ... focuses only on the destination ...

our destination IS our journey ...

when we focus on a destination of any sort ... we remove a large degree of our selves from experiencing our journey in whole ...

life in general is similar in this way ... at some point we have forgotten this 3d experience to be just that ... an experience ... a journey of experiences ...

somewhere along the line we decided the priority should lie in the outcome ... we set our priorities on outcome ...

in the interim ... we live experiences of expectations ... forgetting to live in the now ... in the moment ...

we have removed more of our being from our experiences and inserted and accumulated more of illusion ... believing that will bring us to a greater outcome ...

what about our journey ...

we are in the midst of our conscious shift journey ... in this moment ...

have had much time now to do our individual work ... clean up our baggage ... allow what no longer serves purpose in our lives to be released ... follow our hearts ... with no regrets ... just knowing ... feeling ...

many are nearing completion of this individual cleansing phase ... and must wait in the wings ... for others ... we are a collective ... not an "i" ... some will now have to wait ... boredom perhaps ... practise of patience ... finishing touches of our truth ...

feels like many of us have completed so much of our work thus far... brought to the surface so much of our old beliefs and patterns ... fears ...

recapped our lessons ... healed from them ...

feels like many of us have completed a very large portion of our individual work ... may feel like there is more ... and there is ... but the cleaning of our interiors ... to make room for the new ... so many of us have listened to the voice within and really worked to this moment ...

i have felt this collective movement forward for quite some time now ... a stream of constant energy ... flowing like current ...

aligned to it ... felt true and right ... the constant flow ...

i feel there is a bridge which takes us from the final ingraining of the old ... into freedom of the new ... always i imagine this bridge to be as a beautiful oriental one in a garden ... the crystal stream below it ... gently and harmoniously flowing ...

and we come to this bridge on our journey ... and are meant to walk over it ... a final bridge ... once the choice is made to walk over it ... we detach from our past limitations ...

oh ... for certain we will be reminded of the walls of fear our ego had once placed around our hearts ... those are just for remembering ... once over the bridge we no longer remain within our past limitations ... they dissolve ...

once over the bridge ... we come to a realization ... the walls were an illusion ...

and i feel so many now have come to the foot of this small but significant bridge ... feeling and knowing in our hearts what awaits them a few paces beyond ... how different yet wonderful that place is ... the beginning of the next phase of our profound unified journey ...

i feel our flow of energy to now be bunched up at the foot of this bridge ... hesitating to walk a few steps over it ... and i have spent a couple of weeks trying to feel why ... why this is ...

and i have come to know it now ...

we wait at the foot of this bridge because we are looking over our shoulders still ... pondering what it is that we will leave behind ... what will we miss from the old ... i feel we are collectively together yes ... but many of us are not certain ... not trusting we will be ok to go over the bridge ... without bringing our baggage of old along with us ...

some of us are saying ... "but perhaps i will really need this one overnight bag ... within it is my attachment to such and such ... how will i make it without that one old belief ... that one old pattern ..."

so i feel gathered energy at this juncture ... uncertainty of truth ...

kind of like free falling into a huge white pillow from a few floors up on a building ... the pillow is so large ... so safe ... we know this to be true within our hearts ... and yet ... we have a fear to free fall into it ...

this shift revolves around a few things ... love ... free will ... truth ... collective movement ...

this conscious shift isn't about making anyone do anything ... it must be an individual choice of the heart ...

no one can make us let go of the old ... if it resonates within us to do so ... we most certainly will ...

having said that ... i am writing this because i am feeling the flow of shift energy now to be picking up momentum ... monkeys have and more monkeys will be shaken out of trees ... it is just how it is meant to be ... on many levels ...

i have experienced what it will be like moving forward through the eye of the needle ... to an entirely different feeling world ... that's exactly what it will be ... feeling ... not so much a thinking world as this one of illusion is ... was ...

through our hearts we will have the ability to manifest more with so much less effort ... no more struggles ... no more ego ...

a beautiful world it is beyond us ... waiting ... over the bridge ... waiting for us to collectively walk to it ...

most will fly over ...

all will pick up momentum soon ... many who are aligned to their truth ... live from heart central ... will feel the ride from here to there as one big blur ... simutaneously no longer remembering illusion as we once knew it ... and at the same time ... feeling the pull to move forward ... it will occur so quickly ...

hmm ... kind of like a rollercoaster ride but there's no ups and downs ... that we're concluding now ...

rather a very large swirl will be experienced ... not linear ... i smile just refeeling it once more ... what a rush

and then the new ...

no one can make another free fall into the pillow ... or to walk over the short but powerful bridge ... it is up to each of us individually ...

i just felt to write that i know that there is nothing that we can bring over to the new world from this illusion ... nothing ... there isn't room for it ... to be honest ... it doesn't vibrate in the new thus it cannot exist there ...

we only need to trust ... and follow our hearts ...

what else i know is that this is it ... this is the window of opportunity to do this ... to collectively shift ... together ...

so many gathered now at the foot of the bridge ... not quite certain ... that is ok ... whatever resonates will be respected ...

do so authentically ...

not just another y2k ... not this time ...

[Czymra]

Futureyes that was a rather nice interpretation. Something says "I know I know let go..." but I don't let go.

My problem is that i'm fed up with everyday life anyway, i don't take drugs, don't eat meat, listen to electric jazz, don't buy porn mags, am on this forum too much, its time to move on...hehehehehe

Hahah! Are you my lost brother?
Time to move on!

[Dantheman62]

Another great info. post Jack!

[Stargazer1965]

Originally Posted by Carol

Ahhh, but do we get to bake bread and eat it hot dripping with butter in the 4th dimension?

Alas Brook, you have discovered my inner weakness.. good music and beauty.

The Indian legend says you can't be afraid to push away from the shore into the raging current...in other word...It's a test of faith.

It's not what you believe in....it's that you BELIEVE

[TheChosen]

This guy, Melchizedek.. he never ceases to amaze me. He is always so loaded on synchronicities (read his books and you'll see what I mean... apparently his newest one is even more loaded than the previous ones). Synchronicities... one of the last major unknown of which I find hard to even begin imagining the underlying mechanisms.



Telepathy, Telekinesis, UFOs, Dreams, Astral, Levitation... all a child's play compared to something so underestimated as a synchronicity. Nothing amazes and moves me as much as a life changing synchronicity... I mean... I can pretty much explain and understand how telepathy works, how an UFO flies or how someone levitates or even how precognition works..... but synchronicity? Its just mind bogling and outside of time&space.. Its the gauge of true power and mastery over time & space imo.

[vipassana]

Having experienced considerable confusion regarding 2012 I try to live in the day and the moment without expectations. While I still find it extremely interesting to read and think about possible futures and 2012 for me it's too far ahead. I do beleive that the future may be very rocky so I just try to make practical preparations as my journey continues.

As a recovered alcoholic and member of Alcoholics Anonymous the following profound words...The Serenity Prayer have been useful and inspiring throughout my journey:-

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can’t change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference"

In addition I'm very drawn to Buddhist Philosophy and aspire to be caring towards all beings and the Universe. The Noble Eightfold Path helps with this:-

Right view, right thought,
right speech, right conduct,
right vocation, right effort,
right attention, right concentration.

I do feel that my experiences have been mapped out and although some of them caused me pain and difficulty everythings made me what I am today and I'm grateful for that. Who knows what else I'll experience?

Is there going to be a pole shift, ascension, nuclear war, famine, alien disclosure etc. My answer to that is...I DON'T KNOW....but I'm OK with that I accept it.

Just my personal experience and how I deal with life.
Kind Regards
Helen

Orthodoxymoron: your 3:16 post yesterday is so refreshing!
and The Chosen, you impress me as well, this you said "The best possible outcome is when your being fully resonates from its level of development to the level of existence it is in." I hope I've credited the correct poster there! I surely do hear that! And this is the position that I hold most clearly true!

I've grocked that one cannot take and run with another's journalistic sharings without taking the time to run down the sources of reference, and, even then, should that be done, one cannot know for sure if what is said is really correct!

That said... I'm left to look at my SELF, my self's expression, my actions, values and to hold off on beliefs. THAT my friends is a worthy look-see.

I think that we have similarities, all of us here and elsewhere (likewise). We find it more entertaining, more investigative, more inquirous, more fascinating, energizing etc....just to read the posts and follow links & offer up some we've found ourselves.... it's certainly better than the 6 o'clock news.

But I must rest in my own existence, my day to day. Mind control, impriting & programming is so infiltratively certain (in my view) that I can hardly bet my take on much these days. So, I fill the shoes that I wear best I can... working on perspective and perception.
That in itself is quite fascinating.

Good nite

[orthodoxymoron]

Thank you Jack! I've just started watching the videos...and they are very helpful! The conspiracy theories and NWO stuff was starting to eat my brain like neurological ebola. I'll take a break for a couple of days...watch the videos...and then get back to paranoia as usual...