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12-01-2009, 08:39 PM | #376 | |
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Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
Quote:
cheers! gnosis |
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12-01-2009, 08:40 PM | #377 | |
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Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
Quote:
now that's a cute joke! |
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12-01-2009, 09:04 PM | #378 | |
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Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
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After a really good session where I have finally blown the whole incident out of the water, peals of laughter at finally realizing what a joke I played on myself. But I don't think anyone else would get it. Confucius say, "we are the brunt of our own laughter" |
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12-01-2009, 10:01 PM | #379 |
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Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
My sense of humor took a while to kick in - this in itself is a wonder because both of my parents had fantastic abilities when it came to telling jokes. Anyway, the first joke I heard (or at least, the first one I remember hearing) was when I was five. It stuck in my mind because it was illogical . . .
Q. What would you do if you had a hundred pounds? After rattling off all the things you'd buy, the answer came back . . . A. I'd buy a new bum 'cos mines got a crack in it. |
12-02-2009, 12:13 AM | #380 |
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Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
So, there's this yellow toad wandering around in the forest kinda fecked off because he doesn't want to be yellow. Life would be easier if he were brown like the other toads. He'd sure be less visible to predators for one thing.
Anyway... this yellow toad bumps into a fairy godmother. He begs her, "Fairy godmother, please make me brown like the other toads. I am tired of being so visible to predators and such. The fairy godmother whips out her magic wand and says, "Abracapokus! You're brown!" The toad looks down and sees that he is brown except for his package, which is still yellow. He says to the fairy godmother, "Wait a minute! My prcik's still yellow!" To this the fairy godmother replies, "I don't do willies. You will have to go see The Wizard of Oz for that." The toad thanks her and hops off on his way. There is also a purple bear wandering about the very same woods. As luck would have it, he encounters the very same fairy godmother. He implores her, "Fairy godmother, please make me brown like the other bears. None of the lady bears want to be seen with me on account of the hunters can spot me from a mile off." She, being a nice fairy godmother, takes out her magic wand and says, "Pokuscadabra! You're brown!" The bear looks down and sees that he is, in fact, brown with the exception of the ol' twig and berries. They remain purple. He says: "My prcik's still purple!" She says, "I don't do units, you will have to go see The Wizard of Oz for that." To this the bear replies, "Well that's just dandy, but how the hell do I find The Wizard of Oz?" The fairy godmother answers, "That's easy... just follow the.......YELLOW PRCIK TOAD!" |
12-02-2009, 01:41 AM | #381 |
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Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
Before you go off half cocked... The knife had a 10" blade... And, he intended to
use it... I gave him the coat. I could have called the police. He would have been out in 5 days... I think the pimp will take care of it... No, police hours wasted. Judges... It was a threat of Great bodily harm.... I could have legally fired... But, than there's the mess... And, someone's got to clean it up... Now, it will take care of itself... And, he Paid it Forward... The homeless man got the shoes. And, I did Not have to Kill someone. I don't think he'll ever do it again, after the Pimp, has a chat with him... See.... It's ALL Good... Didn't cost the tax payers a penny... Mesa, just had to lay off police officers. Problem Solved. Budget Problems... Problem Solved... Trooly, Tango |
12-02-2009, 02:10 AM | #382 |
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Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
Congratulations on your self defense Tango. But why post it in the jokes thread?
Also i have never owned a gun and never will and i have hung out in plenty of tough neighborhoods and tough bars and never even been in a fist fight. I truly believe that if one arms oneself that the quantum mechanics of the laws of attraction/manifestation will increase and not decrease your chance of meeting trouble. |
12-02-2009, 02:52 AM | #383 | |
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Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
Go Read My Profile... I've carried all my life...
WHY.....? He, S H I T himself... For Real... When the tables turned... He was Nasty... But, I think this will turn him around. Now, The Pimp will be the Judge... And, his Momma... Knows everything... He can't lie... Now, that IS FUNNY... When he shows up at home she already knows about the sludge... another problem solved... I Told Her... He can't lie... Tango Quote:
Last edited by Tango; 12-02-2009 at 07:56 PM. |
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12-03-2009, 12:58 AM | #384 |
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Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
Got this in an email today and it made me chuckle, even though it holds many truths....
Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in this country lately -- illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida ... ......... not me -- I concentrate on solutions for the problems -- it's a win-win situation. * Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border. * Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levees. * Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border. Any other problems you would like for me to solve today? Yes ! Think about this: 1. Cows 2. The Constitution 3. The Ten Commandments COWS Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington ? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.. THE CONSTITUTION They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq .... why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore. THE 10 COMMANDMENTS The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this -- you cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians .... it creates a hostile work environment. |
12-03-2009, 02:27 AM | #385 |
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Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
Hey, Lorien, great laugh tonic thanks!!! If you get anymore brilliant forever solutions DO post :-)
love, gnosis |
12-04-2009, 03:08 AM | #386 |
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Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
Sears Catalog
Two rednecks were looking at a Sears catalog and admiring the models. One says to the other, 'Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalog?' The second one replies, 'Yes, they are very beautiful And look at the price!' The first one says, with wide eyes, 'Wow, they aren't very expensive. At this price, I'm buying one.' The second one smiles and pats him on the back. 'Good idea! Order one and if she's as beautiful as she is in the catalog, I will get one too.' Three weeks later, the youngest redneck asks his friend, 'Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from the Sears catalog?' The second redneck replies...... SCROLL DOWN . YOU'LL LOVE IT! "No, but it shouldn't be long now. I got her clothes yesterday! " Trooly, Tango |
12-04-2009, 12:55 PM | #387 |
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Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
A cowboy from Texas attends a social function where Barack Obama is trying to gather more support for his Health Plan.
Once he discovers the cowboy is from President Bush's home area, he starts to belittle him by talking in a southern drawl and single syllable words. As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The cowboy says, "Y'all havin' some problem with them circle flies ?" Obama stopped talking and said, "Well, yes, if that's what they're called, but I've never heard of circle flies." "Well Sir," the cowboy replies, "circle flies hang around ranches... They're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse." "Oh," Obama replies as he goes back to rambling. But, a moment later he stops and bluntly asks, "Are you calling me a horse's ass ?" "No, Sir," the cowboy replies, "I have too much respect for the citizens of this country to call their President a horse's ass." "That's a good thing," Obama responds and begins rambling on once more. After a long pause, the cowboy, in his best Texas drawl says, " Hard to fool them flies, though..." Snicker; Snort, Snort...LOL Trooly, Tango I shouldn't write things like this. Some would think I'm just looking for a Laugh... Last edited by Tango; 12-04-2009 at 02:49 PM. |
12-04-2009, 08:31 PM | #388 |
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Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
Last edited by TheObserver; 12-04-2009 at 08:37 PM. |
12-05-2009, 12:34 AM | #389 |
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Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
Deleted Per Rhythmmm's request...
Last edited by Tango; 12-05-2009 at 08:26 PM. |
12-05-2009, 06:40 AM | #390 |
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Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
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12-05-2009, 07:02 AM | #391 |
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Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
Tango, i know about the healing list, i love what you do there, and send my good vibes to those listed as well,
so that's why i find your more pointed jokes surprising i guess. From now on i'll chalk it up 'hey, that's his brand of humor' and keep it |
12-05-2009, 10:03 AM | #392 | |
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Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
Quote:
Peace |
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12-05-2009, 12:20 PM | #393 |
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Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
Hey peeps
please lets keep this thread light hearted ... it was my sole intention for members to have a place to go and lighten up ... keep rhythmmmm lauhing whie you laugh at my speling i do love and respect ALL of you .. this is a joke thread my loverlys ... so bring em on ..........rhythmmm xxxxxxxx ps thanks so much for all the laughs .... Last edited by rhythm; 12-05-2009 at 03:33 PM. |
12-05-2009, 08:40 PM | #394 |
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Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
I think I'll stand down on posting for a while....
Let you Young Pup's carry on... Your, knowledge come out... About time I clean the carpets in this place. I've got some personal issues to deal with also... I might as well deal with it. So.... I'll, P N P [Peek NOT Post]. Cleaning Carpet will give me time to THINK... See you guyz later.... Sorry, for the trouble on your thread Rhythmmmm......... I Really Am... Observer is going to carry My Load. Tango Standing Down (Carpet Cleaning)... Now this IS FUNNY... Observer, Do you Clean Carpet ? LOL Last edited by Tango; 12-06-2009 at 04:45 PM. |
12-05-2009, 09:24 PM | #395 |
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Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
Tango, I've got a trained monkey here who washes all the windows and thinks it's PLAY. I'll send him over for a few days to help out. He's got round trip tix. He's been trained not to chatter and his name is Cando. He never gets under-foot, so won't get in your way of carpet cleaning.Likes rock and roll and reggae music. If you don't want him there, just pack him up and send back. If you do, you might buy a few bananas for him.
Everone needs a little break. Love Always, Bushycat |
12-05-2009, 10:07 PM | #396 |
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Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
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12-06-2009, 04:37 PM | #397 | |
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Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
Know what bushy... I have a company come out every April they take all the
Sun screens off All the windows on the whole house. Scrub them down; wash All the windows on the outside... They don't do the inside at all... So, they work for bananas... Cando, his name... You say... Honey, he will be ideal for those little stupid windows above the kitchen cabinets and five on the eastside of the house that light the dining room... Can he dust....? We just had one of those Arizona dust storms... How that dust blows through the walls and thru windows is beyond me... The back patio tile could use sweeping and all the ceiling fans need dusting. I bet THAT would be a Party for the little dude. Or, you could a dudette if Cando is tooo busy. Maybe, hang around til July, So, mudra and Cando can get in monkey business together on Avalon. I'll contact you in March to make arrangements on shipping... If we play board games after the cleaning; will he let the old guy, WIN... Well, sounds like he'll fit right it with the music... reggae you say... Boy, I hope the little dude can handle the Tango... Too... Cause the Tango is what Tango, Tango's to. Trooly, Tango " OMG, I just wrote a ' Hunny Do List list ' for myself... Oh, WTF..." Quote:
Last edited by Tango; 12-06-2009 at 04:42 PM. |
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12-06-2009, 08:07 PM | #398 | |
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Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
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He loves to be around the beautiful women, too, and will want to brush Mudra's long hair. Tell her to hide away her powder,though, because he thinks it's dust and will throw it out. Well, maybe he'll join in with Mudra @ Avalon, but he'll probably just hang out at the A. Lounge. Just wants to have FUN. No cooking. You can try if you want, but last time I asked him to bake a cake, he threw out the sugar and flour because of....you guessed it..he thought it was dust. Well, now you've got a plan, and all you have to do is look after those carpets. And will I miss Cando while he's overseas? The answer is yes and no. With All Due Respect, Bushycat |
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12-06-2009, 08:37 PM | #399 |
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Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect backwoods camping and fishing trip.
Two days before the group is to leave, Frank's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Frank's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do? Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Frank sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and fish cooking on the fire. "Damn, man, how long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?" "Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said 'guess who'?" I pulled her hands off and she was wearing a brand new see-through nightie. "She took my hand and took me to our bedroom. The room had two dozen candles and rose petals all over. She had on the bed, handcuffs and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed and I did. And then she said, 'Do what ever you want.'" "So here I am." |
12-06-2009, 09:02 PM | #400 |
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Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be
I LOVE IT...... LOL A fishing we will go... That's a Man with a PLAN...LOL
Tango |
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