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Old 11-12-2008, 03:33 PM   #26
Worlds Beyond 2
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Default Re: Is this Forum elitist?

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Originally Posted by unloadedgunn View Post
It is clear that both Astro and Worlds agree that the forum is elitist at best and a waste of time/energy at worst. I have a suggestion: leave. It is very simple really. It always seems like the pragmatists while they might bicker slightly over semantics usually post helpful and realistic yet hopeful posts. The peacenicks who think we can love our way through the troubled times ahead...well we can all see from their posts HERE what we get from them. I have a VERY positive attitude about my future and the future of mankind, but I know we won't get through this thing with just positive intention alone. It will take that to be sure, but without food, and small insular communities, there will be no pockets of humanity left (if some whistle-blowers are right). I have OLY ONE problem with the Avalon Forum, and that is threads like this which contain NOTHING but idle rumination about inconsequential drivel.

However as a HOPEFUL guy, I am sure that after wading through the constant mindless banter, pathetic prognostification, and paranoid claims that the forum has been "highjacked", I will find some pearls of wisdom, and perhaps even *gulp* someone ready to DO MORE THAN JUST TALK, and who wants to get out of the system before it implodes.

Here's hoping that when the "clean up" happens here at Avalon,, threads like this one hit the dustbin first.


Hi unloadedgunn,

I think perhaps you might have misinterpreted some of my comments.. but certainly my intention...

I'd respectfully ask you to read some of my other posts on this forum, before rushing to judgement, or making such derogatory/dismissive comments quite so quickly...

I'm not at all the person you seem to have judged me as being!

No matter what my thoughts/feelings, I'm entitled as everyone else here to express my views, even if they do not exactly mirror your own. At least I aim to do so without any hint of personal attack/verbal nastiness...

I dont wish to enter into any argument with you (or anyone else!) but would just say that what might be judged "idle rumination about inconsequential drivel" by you, is actually quite important for me personally, and is, for me, part and parcel of the whole concept of 'acting' and 'doing' something positive for humanity.

When you say you wish "threads like this one hit the dustbin first"... that's not only closing down/dismissing other people's input/ideas/views, but, for someone who says they have "a VERY positive attitude about my future and the future of mankind", well, you seem to have made a pretty negative post here.

I dont want to fight, or have an ongoing discussion about it, am just trying to explain where I'm coming from a bit more.. as I think you're labelling me/judging me a bit harshly!

in peace,
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Old 11-12-2008, 03:58 PM   #27
unloadedgunn
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Default Re: Is this Forum elitist?

I don't wish to argue either. My previous post expresses MY opinion, period. If you don't agree, that's OK. I hope that someday before TSHTF that this forum will be used to its potential, to establish community and give people the physical means to "opt out", until then... well I don't know whether we're elitist or alarmist, but we are like so many; afraid of real change and of taking responsibility for our actions.

As an aside if you are aspiring towards humanitarian aid on other continents, I would suggest the UNICEF, Heifer Project, Peace Corp, etc. websites. If you take this approach there will be MORE SUBSTANCE here for the casual observer. I am personally afraid that a first time viewer of this site might be immediately disillusioned or disgusted by the irrelevance of most of the posts and move on. This could literally cost lives... chew on that for a while.
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Old 11-12-2008, 04:08 PM   #28
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Default Re: Is this Forum elitist?

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Originally Posted by unloadedgunn View Post
..) but we are like so many; afraid of real change and of taking responsibility for our actions.

As an aside if you are aspiring towards humanitarian aid on other continents, I would suggest the UNICEF, Heifer Project, Peace Corp, etc. websites. If you take this approach there will be MORE SUBSTANCE here for the casual observer. I am personally afraid that a first time viewer of this site might be immediately disillusioned or disgusted by the irrelevance of most of the posts and move on. This could literally cost lives... chew on that for a while.
Hi again

oh dear. I'm not sure whether to reply or just leave it alone to be honest, as I sense your tone is quite hostile towards me.

Anyroads, I do already take GREAT responsibility for my actions. And am no "aspiring" humanitarian.. I'm just me, and I already actively support and do my bit for several global and local causes, including ActionAid, Shelter, Water Aid and SOS Children's Villages, amongst others. I already do as much as I can, with limited time, energy and resources.

OK, I think perhaps we have to just leave our differences as differences... as we seem to be at some kind of impasse, even though seemingly aiming for the same ultimate purpose... SAVING LIVES!

in Peace,
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Old 11-12-2008, 04:23 PM   #29
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Default Re: Is this Forum elitist?

Good point Eaglespirit,

Here is something else to consider asto: the radiant/safe zones that are emerging may be self-contained and self-sufficient, but they are by no means seperatist. Seperatism would smack of elitism, but, while they wait for whatever cataclysm they are waiting for, they are interacting with local folks, hitting the flea markets and grocery stores, using the same parks, playing the same recreational sports, working in the same offices, etc. There is nothing about the safe/radiant zone philosophy that would serve to alienate individuals on a compound, like many of the religious and militia like settlements that dot the landscape. The whole safe/radiant zone philosophy is such that it is imperitive that they reach out to others around them, so that locals know that there is a safe place that welcomes them when the SHTF. If you are building a radiant/safe zone, and are not making preparations for a massive influx of people seeking safety, you might be missing the point.

Another point about the so-called "third world." I tend to agree with eXchanger to a certain degree. In many ways, they are the truly free ones. While it may be a hardscrabble existence in many respects, living in a country that has no fossil fuels or other internationally demanded natural resources reduces the possibility that the great clash between Eastern and Western greed will be fought in their backyard. It seems to me that they don't really need to contemplate these issues, since they will not have to confront them. With that being said, the horrors of colonialism and post-colonialism should never be forgotten, and there are still many problems that they must confront. And, I think it might be a tad ethnocentric to assume that the people of say, the Congo, are not discussing the very philosophies of freedom, fairness, hope, and health that we are here - they are just doing it face to face.

Intellectual discussion is not elitism - to not allow our brains to wo/ander about such things is to languish precisely according to plan.
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Old 11-12-2008, 04:32 PM   #30
sammytray
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Default Re: Is this Forum elitist?

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Originally Posted by AndyH View Post
Good post. Although not all of us are in the west, it's reasonable to assume that we are all above the technological poverty line as you put it.
How do you propose we bring those people in on this?
For that matter, I wonder sometimes if perhaps some people who are far more independant than us will fare better regardless of whatever scenario pans out?

I suppose there is no answer other than to make sure that the doom and gloom prophesised never comes to fruition....somehow.
We are to focus on the WHOLE, individuals make up the whole so therefore are included in the whole. We must be "thinking" for the planet and humanity, the rest will fall into place through synchronicity. We also must be careful stepping into ANY victim/victim abuser role. Self responsibility is the "key" and the "key" is for unlocking humanity/planets cage.
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Old 11-12-2008, 05:16 PM   #31
eaglespirit
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Default Re: Is this Forum elitist?

Thank You All!

As You can see..if Astropsyche did not start this thread...we probably would not have energized the antithesis of elitism and shown how we can ride the stream of change that will "feed" the world with love...in synchronistic exponentiality as more of Us than ever are getting together in loving consciousness in the now!
...
Everything Is Energy...Everything Is Alive!

Your Own Energy of Aliveness is fueled by Your Own Awareness and Feelings and Thoughts and Actions!

Hunger is a living being that we feed.
Prejudice is a living being that we feed.
Jealousy is a living being that we feed.
Hate is a living being that we feed.
Politics is a living being that we feed.
Greed is a living being that we feed.
War is a living being that we feed.
The 'powers that be' are a living being that we feed.

Stop feeding them and make a conscious decision to evict them all from our planet...your planet.

You each are of the loving power to do this... so just do it.

Embrace your own power of love instead of "allowing" those living beings of discord to feed off of you.

These living beings of disharmony will either change to love or leave...pronto!
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Old 11-12-2008, 05:26 PM   #32
jaby
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Default Re: Is this Forum elitist?

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Originally Posted by Worlds Beyond 2 View Post
Hi unloadedgunn,
I dont want to fight, or have an ongoing discussion about it, am just trying to explain where I'm coming from a bit more.. as I think you're labelling me/judging me a bit harshly!
The fact of the matter is that you have done your fair share of 'judging' in this thread...so you shouldn't be too surprised to be challenged. What goes around, comes around.

Quote:
Originally Posted by unloadedgunn View Post
I am personally afraid that a first time viewer of this site might be immediately disillusioned or disgusted by the irrelevance of most of the posts and move on. This could literally cost lives... chew on that for a while.
Again...you have hit the nail on the head. I like your forthright approach. And what you say is true about first time viewers...and this is why the forum clear out is a good idea. Active aggression AND passive aggression directed at this forum and the majority of genuine members...is a waste of everyone's time..........No matter how 'sweetly' it is presented........
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Old 11-12-2008, 05:47 PM   #33
iamhearing
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Default Re: Is this Forum elitist?

Some may think they are elitist perhaps? and enjoy to intellectually analyse things to death, then physically do nothing.Yet i think we would all be surprised to discover that the majority of us do actually use the information constructively and by the universal ripple effect, vital information is shared, by simple word of mouth.

Best wishes
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Old 11-12-2008, 05:59 PM   #34
Elephant Man
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Default Re: Is this Forum elitist?

Hi, I have read some of the posts here but not all, forgive me if I repeat something.
I live in denmark, a very rich country, very! I dont consider myself wealthy, I'm a gardener, my wife a nurse. Not exactly high income, but we have 2 cars, own our own house, can afford to visit my country of birth (uk) whenever we feel like it, we eat well and have a very comfortable life. I do not feel guilty about having access to information that others do not and I dont feel elitist. In denmark just about every household has at least 1 pc and internet access, but if you try and talk to most of them about this kind of info, they dont want to know. Basically people have just got too much luxury and politically no one wants to rock the boat or make waves, cos they are too busy enjoying yet another flat screen t.v, mobile phone, cd, dvd player etc... virtually every person I talk to about NWO, media control, al gores climate fairy tale etc... just dont want to know, they have access to info and choose not to look at it, I used to get frustrated and even angry, but now I just think - ok your choice if you want to ignore it, fine. So this is the other end of the scale, the very wealthy choosing to ignore whats really happening, as opposed to poorer people who have no access to info.

read this link to see how a whole nation is being brainwashed, the writer really hits the nail on the head. btw I have lived here for 21 years.

http://www.rense.com/general83/dk.htm

peace
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Old 11-12-2008, 06:46 PM   #35
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Default Re: Is this Forum elitist?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elephant Man View Post
Hi, I have read some of the posts here but not all, forgive me if I repeat something.
I live in denmark, a very rich country, very! I dont consider myself wealthy, I'm a gardener, my wife a nurse. Not exactly high income, but we have 2 cars, own our own house, can afford to visit my country of birth (uk) whenever we feel like it, we eat well and have a very comfortable life. I do not feel guilty about having access to information that others do not and I dont feel elitist. In denmark just about every household has at least 1 pc and internet access, but if you try and talk to most of them about this kind of info, they dont want to know. Basically people have just got too much luxury and politically no one wants to rock the boat or make waves, cos they are too busy enjoying yet another flat screen t.v, mobile phone, cd, dvd player etc... virtually every person I talk to about NWO, media control, al gores climate fairy tale etc... just dont want to know, they have access to info and choose not to look at it, I used to get frustrated and even angry, but now I just think - ok your choice if you want to ignore it, fine. So this is the other end of the scale, the very wealthy choosing to ignore whats really happening, as opposed to poorer people who have no access to info.

read this link to see how a whole nation is being brainwashed, the writer really hits the nail on the head. btw I have lived here for 21 years.

http://www.rense.com/general83/dk.htm

peace
It seems those with "money", "wealth" ,- comfortable etc... will be the last to wake up. For those who do not "know", why would they want to when everything "seems" hunky dory. I have found that those with less pay attention MORE! I think there is a scripture that states "The meek shall inherit the earth".
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Old 11-12-2008, 07:01 PM   #36
jaby
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Default Re: Is this Forum elitist?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elephant Man View Post
Hi, I have read some of the posts here but not all, forgive me if I repeat something.
I live in denmark, a very rich country, very! I dont consider myself wealthy, I'm a gardener, my wife a nurse. Not exactly high income, but we have 2 cars, own our own house, can afford to visit my country of birth (uk) whenever we feel like it, we eat well and have a very comfortable life. I do not feel guilty about having access to information that others do not and I dont feel elitist. In denmark just about every household has at least 1 pc and internet access, but if you try and talk to most of them about this kind of info, they dont want to know. Basically people have just got too much luxury and politically no one wants to rock the boat or make waves, cos they are too busy enjoying yet another flat screen t.v, mobile phone, cd, dvd player etc... virtually every person I talk to about NWO, media control, al gores climate fairy tale etc... just dont want to know, they have access to info and choose not to look at it, I used to get frustrated and even angry, but now I just think - ok your choice if you want to ignore it, fine. So this is the other end of the scale, the very wealthy choosing to ignore whats really happening, as opposed to poorer people who have no access to info.

read this link to see how a whole nation is being brainwashed, the writer really hits the nail on the head. btw I have lived here for 21 years.

http://www.rense.com/general83/dk.htm

peace
Thanks for all that...and the link. Just read it. Very interesting...
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Old 11-12-2008, 11:16 PM   #37
isotelesis
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Cool Re: Is this Forum elitist?

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Originally Posted by jaby View Post
Spot on. The White/Westerner 'guilt-trip' has reared it's head.
White guilt is dead.

http://www.rense.com/general84/white.htm

Western guilt is next.
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Old 11-12-2008, 11:54 PM   #38
MyShadow
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Default Re: Is this Forum elitist?

Offering my perspective here as someone that often is viewed as an 'elitist'. I view this forum as a tool in which those that come here may use it to explore, expand and perhaps pivot within their personal beliefs. Everyone is coming from a unique perspective of individualized consciouness and perhaps are learning how to blend to their higher-selves. In this process, some group together in resonation on topics others have opposing views. This is as it should be, and is normal in a public forum and exchange.

In my experience, the more one explores the topics of creation, spirituality, paranormal phenomenon, conspiracy, quantum theories, time/space, world order, the multiverse, history and language - you reach a point of clear understanding of your own personal truth and along the way have fine-tuned a dogma-free discernment filter.

So when you are at this point and are living in your truth, it's nice to attract and find others that have arrived at that place - where openess, singularity and multi-dimensional perspectives are blended. I think this is where others on "the path" to this place will label us as 'elitism' - it's an ego-projection. Not a criticism, just an observation.

What we have just been through in the past 12 months of linear-perception time, is the equivalent of compressed decades of consciouness expansion - and many more are arriving at that place. I think of this forum, and others, as tools that some may use in the process.
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Old 11-13-2008, 12:07 AM   #39
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Originally Posted by Worlds Beyond 2 View Post
Atropsyche,

I wholeheartedly agree with you, both of your posts, and I 'get' exactly where you are coming from. Thank you for your post. it is like a breath of fresh air and connected straight to my heart/soul !

Why? well.. whilst I feel it is positive, and to some extent important, that people (west or East or South or North) have an awareness of some of the issues on this forum, I also feel that there is sadly also a lot of hypothetical navel-gazing, self-serving/self-preservationism .. and a sometimes strong air of some kind of 'spiritual hierarchy' to be fair... and a whiole heap of what I'll call "insular thinking & behaviour" ... (no, NOT all on here, but definitely amongst a fair few folks/mods) ...

in spite of what some folks have posted in this thread, if you stand outside this forum and look in here objectively, there definitely IS an core element of Elitism within this forum itself (e.g. some of the comments/tone/approach taken made by some members/mods in the past few weeks - some of which is extremely elitist... and also at times very rude and dismissive of others... a major part of why I left this forum as a member last week.. but that's a whole other story which I don't have the energy or time to start getting into!).

I tried to convey ideas very similar to your points, Astropsyche, in a few of my previous posts (under my previous name of Worlds Beyond), as I felt that hwilst some are in here ego-fighting, point-scoring and on some kind of spiritual or intellectual "superiority trip", there are 28 kids dying every minute of every day from starvation alone on this planet. Yet so many in here speak of "we are all one" and "we are all connected" and "enlightenment" and "awareness" , Karma, positivity, etc... etc... It made no sense at all to me.. as there seemed to be very few who were actually LIVING the talk, or actually DOING things to help others.. here and now.... the ones in REAL need in the here and now.. the ones we ARE connected to, and also collectively repswonible for... surely this is one of the MAJOR components of being Spiritual/Enlightened/Awake/Aware... the realisation that everything/everyone is connected and everything has a consequence?


For example, I posted that I'd rather spend £5 per month on helping a child to eat/survive in the here and now, than pay for a subscription to read about how to stock up my pantry for some possible future date... a point that seemed to elicit a deafening silence, apart from one comment that the suffering of this world are in that position due to "their Karma" and we "should do nothing about it" (excuse me for not recalling exact words)... I was deeply saddened and also quite shocked by some of the attitudes, arrogance, dismissiveness of quite a few (NOT all!) on Avalon forum..

When I first found Avalon, I was SO excited and full of hope and positive feelings about this forum.... I came here with nothing but peace, love, light and my experiences, ideas, caring heart.. was open to learning and ready for sharing my own journey/learnings... thinking (naively perhaps?) that this was a place were people came together to try to create a better place/improvement for people... for humanity ... in the face of all the control/darkness in this world etc ... I stayed a couple of weeks then I left.... I felt the tone, level of communication/co-operation and awareness of a reasonable number here (mods as well as members) was sadly and surprisingly lacking.. lacking in the VERY spiritual awareness, enlightenment, freedoms, purpose, truth/honesty and sense of basic care/respect for other members of humanity (whether in Africa or USA or Middle East or nextdoor!) that this forum was all about!

A day later I re-signed up here, only because I was absolutely appalled that my last post on here elicited such a rude, arrogant and totally dismissive response from a mod. I was then equally appalled and disgusted that my (non-contentious) reply was immediately deleted by another mod, AFTER having first deleted my account here (giving me no way to respond!), then his publically posted explanation made it all appear a VERY different way entirely to the facts that happened!

However, I took some time out and reaslied there was little point continuing to try and get that little matter sorted out, as whatever I had to say would probably be censored/deleted/misrepresented or whatever.. I realised that my voice meant nothing here.. am just an ordinary humble soul with no PA/PC credentials or connections... and I didn't want to get into ANY confilct or battle just to get my voice heard fairly.... so i left it alone.

However, I have come back today.. just to state that I think and feel your post is one of the most sane, spiritually "on-track" and positive I have seen on this forum... Spirituality and Preparedness and Awareness is more about what we all do in the NOW, for OTHER people on this planet, as opposed what we're doing to self-serve or self-preserve in the 'tomorrows' of our lives.. Whilst I think there are some truly enlightened souls lurking around this forum, there are plenty who seem to be missing the point entirely... in my humble opinion..

Which is more spiritually enlightened/valuable to this planet or humanity.... Having 100 cans of beans and a publically posted shopping list of survival items? Figuring out what is going to happen in 2012 or tomorrow or 3,100?
Or making a regular/real contribution (not necessarily financial! there's PLENTY of other ways.. volunteering, campaigning, raising awareness etc etc etc) to others who have not even got the basics for life, let alone the privileges that many on here do?

Spirituality is not about knowing some ancient texts, or knowing any jargon, or the latest "guru" or meme or whatever, it is the simple, basic, everyday actions, carried out in humility and grace, for others.

I've known some 'down and outs', some "weeds", some 'nobody's' of this world to be more spiritually aware /evolved /enlightened /good hearted /well-intentioned/true & honest, than I have some (SOME, not ALL!) of the people I've come across in here (and other supposedly "awake" places)...

I realise this post will possibly be deleted (as I have mentioned a previous Mod incident which made me feel very uncomfortable/unfairly censored) or gain some less-than open-minded listening from many members ... but I truly have not come in here to have ANY conflict... I just wanted to add my voice to what I feel is a very sane, intelligent (in the true sense) and TRULY spiritually aware post....

Spirituality/Enlightenment is not just some airy-fairy, hugging-the-flowers, saying "namaste" every 2 minutes, nor is it about meditation or religion or channeling or crytals or whatever else you use as a route to try and access/evoleve our souls/learning/understanding.... ...

Spirituality and awareness is about REAL Values, REAL connectedness to one another, REAL love/care/respect for ALL, REAL actions, REAL consequences... REAL Humility.. and REAL Grace... every day..


To help those we know is one thing , to help those who we do not know, and have NO way of ever 'repaying' us... THAT is giving!


'What I give to others, I gain.
What I keep for myself, I have already lost.'


Peace and Light

Hi there Worlds Beyond! I am so sorry that you have been treated in the ways you describe by Mod-members and other members of the forum. You are more eloquent than I as your well-considered and open-hearted responses on this thread show us all. Your posts here have elicited hostile and aggressive rejections to your opinions, and mine, and I think this material illustrates exactly my fears for this forum. I truly wish that I possessed the absolute certitude that members posting here, and in other threads, are right in everything they are doing. I do not have this absolute conviction - which is why I have taken some small part on this forum, to try to see how such conviction is achieved. Sadly the words which springs to mind is 'Hubris' - the overweening conviction that one is infallible and right under all circumstances.lI would like to make clear to you and the other contributors that I did and do include my self in the original post and in the issues raised here as the debate has unfolded. I did and do I have a view and apprehensions about aspects of this forum and feel that I [and everyone] who have views should be encouraged to express these - with respect for others at all times. There has been some seriously disrespectful material on this site - and this saddens me greatly. I do meditate on the miniscule space I inhabit on this blue earth and how best to share my wisdoms and learn the wisdoms of others. And I can tell that you do also. I thank you for your ideas here and wish you, and all members, the Beauty of Love, Light and Life. I have decided to act upon the suggestions of several respondees to my original thread and that is to not make any more posts. I will look for a means to express my views elsewhere. Fare well Worlds Beyond.
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Old 11-13-2008, 12:12 AM   #40
Tuza
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Default Re: Is this Forum elitist?

Oh, geez, you made a judgemental statement about all of us on here and because some of us got upset your packing up your bat and ball, don't go I love you too and your contributions. It is just if you knew what has happened to me during my life you would definitely not put me in the elitist category.

And I am sure others on the forum have'nt had it easy at times as well. We didn't ask to be where we are now, we were advised and then made the decision, or so a stream of philosophy goes, and talking about philosophy you of all people should know about that.
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Old 11-13-2008, 12:44 AM   #41
norman
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Default Re: Is this Forum elitist?

Quote:
Originally Posted by iamhearing View Post

Some may think they are elitist perhaps? and enjoy to intellectually analyse things to death, then physically do nothing.Yet i think we would all be surprised to discover that the majority of us do actually use the information constructively and by the universal ripple effect, vital information is shared, by simple word of mouth.

Best wishes

I AM HEARING. You sure are ! ,,,,,,,,,,and in 3 lines too!


Is this forum "elitist"? ,,,,nnnNo, a better word would be "graced".

"Sharp shooting paranoid grubby middle class survivalist" would be far too unkind, and that would exclude most of the more influential members anyway.

"Build it and they will come" is a tad biblical and smacks of fictional heroism.

"Lead, follow or get out of the way" is N.A.T.Z.I. in long hand.

"Predictive excellence" just wouldn't apply.

"community building" sounds sweet until it gets trolled by common sense.

"Multi user programmable spiritual arrival". Now that's............. Naah, unless I'm missing something here.

HELP ! !

!

Nope. "Graced" is the word I pick. We're all very fortunate and the word adequately covers all of us.
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Old 11-13-2008, 10:14 AM   #42
eaglespirit
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Default Re: Is this Forum elitist?

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Is this forum "elitist"? ,,,,nnnNo, a better word would be "graced".

Nope. "Graced" is the word I pick. We're all very fortunate and the word adequately covers all of us.
With Ya, Norman : )

Sooooooo, Let's grease up our wing-joints with "grace" so that we may "act" as though 4th density love is here and now and it will "be" here and now and then we may come to have full use of our "graceful" wings to smoothly ride the loving winds into the 5th density of loving lightfulness! : )


The 4th(love) and 5th(love&light) are here, "Embrace With Grace!"
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Old 11-13-2008, 03:37 PM   #43
Worlds Beyond 2
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Hello all...

I want to come back to this thread to say something.. though I realise am in danger of re-highlighting a post that appears negative.. and I dont want to re-start any clashes.. with anyone!!

I'm here to say I'm really sorry if I offended anyone by my posts in this thread. Even though the essence of the points raised by Astropsyche did/do resonate with me personally in a certain sense ... I'm not sure if my feeling/intent was the same as how it came across.. as I was truly not meaning to 'attack' anyone here.. nor as a general 'attack' on this forum! I really didn't mean my comments to be taken as a blanket statement about PA/PC, nor all its mods/members, which I realise is how it might have looked. Yes, I was unhappy with a certain mod who behaved less than civilly to me last week, but that wasn't why I came back to Avalon to post nor what I was orignially trying to convey.

I really didn't mean to cause any offence or upset, and I'm sorry if I did folks. I considered (yesterday) editing my posts, but felt that was in some way evading responsibility or might appear like trying to hide something ?? .. so I left them alone and instead taken time to think about the whole thing and examine my conscience/self before posting here now.

my wording wasn't quite as calm or clear as I felt/intended.. (sometimes I wish email/writing could be HEARD as well as read, as our 'tone' can so easily be misread!) ... and yes, possibly subconsciously I was still feeling a tad upset/unfairly treated and shocked by what had happened with my posts/one of mods the previous week... I felt that whole thing was harsh/unreasonable and felt like I was being 'lumped in' with others who were seemingly being classed as 'troublemakers' or having some personal axe to grind against PA/PC.. which absoutely wasn't the case with me at all.. .

I have no connections with ANYONE on PC/PA, nor any other forum or site, nor any axe to grind or personal agenda. I truly joined here last month with an open & happy heart, to learn / share / grow like anyone, and relieved to have found somewhere discussing the issues that mean a lot to me.

As Astropsyche said in his/her last post, I too was including myself in the 'maybe we're all sat here navel-gazing too much' train of thought.. I had been seriously questioning myself about sitting here on PA/PC (and internet in general) so much, when there's so much to be done out in the 'real' world... I know I personally question myself LOTS on how much time/resources I spend doing things for 'ME' vs 'OTHERS'... especially as i am mostly unable to physcially get out and about to actively 'DO' things due to health (or lack of it! lol) .... and truth is, I had (after last weeks events) been feeling/wondering if PA/PC was a bit like a closed/cliquey "club" in some ways.... maybe also because I'm new to Forums/internet chat in general ?

I've always been passionate about injustices/helping others in this world who are suffering or being mistreated, that's my own journey, if that makes me an "aspiring humanitarian" (or anything else) in someone else's eyes, that's ok.... maybe I come across as too intense when trying to put forward my views.. ? possibly too many years being so political or active/vocal in trying to 'change the system' ?!

I know PA/PC is not about humanitarian/aid/charity work.. but in some strange way, to me these issues are not unlinked/disconnected from the overall purpose of PA .... or the coming events!!! I feel such a strong sense of injustice and indifference in this world to the plights/suffering of so many others (the 'out of sight, out of mind' mentality of so many).. just as I feel same way about the way the PTB/controllers of this world treat all us 'minions' etc... for me, the coming events/ascension/whatever is going to happen, is about people coming together/helping others, be it global scale or local... we just all have differing perceptions of what it is we feel we need to do I guess...

for me, I really do sometimes sit and wonder to myself 'who the hell am I to be sat around thinking/reasearching about 2012, or whether I get taken out by a global flood, or earthquake, or whether UFO's will land, or Spirit will walk the earth, or if it'll be the 'nightmare scenario' some folks think.. when there's millions of folks with no food to eat today or tmorrow, nor a glass of clean water to drink, let alone a safe place to sleep?'.... I really DO question myself about these things. Lots. But please understand.... thats just MY own path, MY stuff, MY experieince and MY personal feelings/thoughts. I'm NOT saying it has to be yours !!!!

I get myself through my worst days (in terms of health/pain/symptoms) by reminding myself that there's so many suffering in MUCH greater ways than me.. and finding reasons to feel thankful to at least be alive/on this earth to see another day. Point is, I never ever meant to guilt-trip or lecture anyone else at all... we all have reasons to feel grateful, and we do all have our own paths to tread... this is just mine.

I try to share my thoughts/views in here, not impose them.. I realise I tend to write a lot, and also I write down exactly as my thoughts/feelings happen.. (old habits die hard I guess!) .. so it can be a bit like a 'stream of consciousness' as opposed to pre-planned/edited highlights of what's running through my mind! I also often have great difficulty writing/typing due to my condition, so it can take a LONG time for me write a post and by time I've finished writing I'm sometimes not feeling great (pain) so just hit "Submit Reply" without re-reading what I've written...Not an excuse, but does explain a bit! It's just how I write.. I suppose it either makes for interesting reading, or is a great cure for terminal insomnia, depending upon your personal view!!

Anyway, I certainly didn't mean to be judgemental or demeaning to anyone here in expressing how I was feeling/thinking since last week. I HAD been questioning myself and my own navel-gazing, as well as whether or not to return to PA after last weeks events ... and when I looked in and saw someone else voicing what I'd been mulling over.. and I just jumped in feet first!

Anyroads.. I just wanted to apologise if I upset anyone. I tried to say in my posts that I was not referring to all here... but maybe I didn't take enough care/time over wording what I was trying to say, and ended up giving a skewed impression, of my point of view, and of myself. Certainly I seem to have elicited quite a strong reaction from some folks, and whether all their comments/views about me/what sort of person I am are warranted or justified is not for me to say/judge...

but I will take more care in future about how I share my feelings/views here !

Humble apologies



p.s. Astropsyche.. why not give it another shot? There's soom good folk, and well intentioned folk in here.. and possibly like me, what you were trying to say in your thread didn't come across quite as intended?? Up to you!
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