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Old 02-23-2010, 06:55 PM   #1
Church
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Default I discovered a weakness of mine, with thanks to Project Avalon

I allowed myself to be sucked into a vortex of negative energy recently, and I have no one to blame but myself. As a result of this, I stumbled upon something I needed to stumble upon: the fact that I am still angered by hatred. No matter what it is, when I witness or otherwise experience any forms of hate, it causes me to break off into polarity consciousness and hate hatred. The experience I encountered here had to do specifically with hatred of homosexuality, but it's all the same. I'm just tired of allowing myself to fall into anger when I can't control who hates whom and how they are going to manifest that hatred.

I now know that I must heal that portion of myself, and that hating hatred is obviously counter-productive. I want to say I am sorry to anyone who agreed with my sentiments in that thread, because I was angry with the bigotry that certain individuals were voicing, and my sentiments were tainted by the anger. I now know that I can't necessarily expect everyone I open up to, especially people reading threads I've posted in, to be of service-to-others, and to already be in a place of understanding that we are all One, no ifs ands or buts. There are many people left who still haven't figured that out yet, and I choose to Love those people as of right now. I Love All.

But I may very well not respond to certain posts or certain individuals, and I want to come right out and state that now, in print, before I hang around PA any further. I personally believe everything is already, and always has been, alright. Everything is going to be fine. But that doesn't change the fact that many people are going to be fearful of things they will be witnessing or experiencing in the upcoming years, and I only want to be there for those people. Anyone who wishes to participate in 3rd density dramas like Left vs Right, Conservative vs Republican, Christians vs Satanists, then be my guest... I just won't be paying much attention to you.

I guess this is sort of an introduction too. Certain ones of you are going to be seeing me more often, and as my higher self is convincing me I'm here to stay, the least I can do in my "rebellion" is type up this one last rant, which also serves as a disclaimer stating that I mean well, I love everyone (no one excluded), and I think many of you need to lighten up, and just start loving Life.

Anyway, I am a guy who was born and raised in Florida, by loving parents who fell in line and submitted to all forms of authority instituted in our society. We went to Catholic church. My parents voted in every election, local and beyond. They did what they were taught to do to raise children and be good people. I then got older and began having experiences, many of which took place under the context of catholicism, believe it or not!, which ultimately led to my waking up and realizing I was much larger then anything we have ever been taught to be. And my life hasn't been the same ever since.

A few of these things, quickly:
  • At 6 years old I had an experience of being abducted or visited while my family vacationed in a small cottage in the mountains of north carolina. It happened every night, while I was supposed to be sleeping, but I felt wide awake. There was a being that my 6 year old brain categorized as a "bee man" and there was a lot of buzzing going on by his followers, but he was standing over me doing things which I don't remember. Then on the day that my parents were driving us off the property to return home, the bee man was standing on the side of the road and waved to me as we passed.
  • My first account of anything I thought of as being "paranormal" was actually during a Catholic mass, some time back in the mid 80s, when the catholic clergy were preaching to us about visitations of the Virgin Mary in Medjugorje. One of the parishioners had been there, and had VHS footage of the sun falling towards Earth then rising again, and repeating this, while light shows were being displayed, and all the while the contactees were in a trance.
  • I had lots of mystical and paranormal experiences on LSD which helped me to experience once and for all how my reality is the product of my mind, and once I stopped taking psychedelics I was still able to use the "powers" that they taught me.
  • You know how hindsight is always 20/20? I now look back on a multitude of experiences, far beyond words, at least at the moment, and I can see that I have been witnessing UFOs in the sky my whole life, and it's because they are watching me. I don't know why, but they are.
  • I seem to have eliminated most forms of fear from my life, but I make no claims about being superhuman or anything absurd like that. I am simply stating, and I believe it is the direct result of my psychedelic research, and having come close to death in a carjacking when I was 19, which turned out to be one of the most inspiring existential moments of my life actually, that I look around me at things my Brothers and Sisters across the planet are afraid of, and I am not. (As I alluded to in the beginning of this post, if anything I get angry, not scared. I'm healing that now.)
  • I am here because the time is much nearer than most people here realize, where we will be forced to choose a path, and my higher self seems to think that my actions and/or vocalized thoughts help people to make their decision. I don't even know what that means, and I certainly don't own that, as a power or anything. It's just God using me for however God sees fit to do so.

I think this post is long enough. I just wanted to say that I love everyone, including the people I said mean things to (deserved or not) in that gay-bashing thread. I also wanted to say you'll never see or hear me engage in a conversation like THAT again! And now that that's past us, and I've been shown a part of myself I need to heal, I can get back to work. Thank you, Project Avalon for providing me with a scenario that caused me to see that I still had some anger in me I needed to process.

Dear God, help me to keep evolving and to stay on the path of Love. Help me to dissolve all the illusions I have about there still being people or things to hate out there in the world. Help me to understand that once I heal the broken parts of myself, I will no longer see people hating anyone out there, because I will have made peace within. Help me to demonstrate that there is never any need for anyone to have fear, for my own sake and for the sake of all my Brothers and Sisters. Thank you.

Last edited by Church; 02-23-2010 at 07:00 PM.
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Old 02-23-2010, 07:00 PM   #2
pilot
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Default Re: I discovered a weakness of mine, with thanks to Project Avalon

There was a gay bashing thread??

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Old 02-23-2010, 07:04 PM   #3
Church
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Default Re: I discovered a weakness of mine, with thanks to Project Avalon

I humbly ask everyone not to talk about it in this thread, but yes, there was one. It's behind us now, and the mods locked it which is the best thing that could have happened to it.

It's a new day now!
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Old 02-23-2010, 07:08 PM   #4
Jonah
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Default Re: I discovered a weakness of mine, with thanks to Project Avalon

Church,

I just wanted to say i luv you..
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Old 02-23-2010, 07:11 PM   #5
Church
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Default Re: I discovered a weakness of mine, with thanks to Project Avalon

I love you too Jonah.
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Old 02-23-2010, 07:13 PM   #6
Luana
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Default Re: I discovered a weakness of mine, with thanks to Project Avalon

Church...I Love you too!
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Old 02-23-2010, 07:41 PM   #7
pilot
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Default Re: I discovered a weakness of mine, with thanks to Project Avalon

I understand how you feel Church. I really do. Thank you for putting that into words, the struggle to stay balanced in the face of bigotry and intolerance is an honorable skill worth cultivating.

Peace.
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Old 02-23-2010, 07:51 PM   #8
Frank Samuel
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Talking Re: I discovered a weakness of mine, with thanks to Project Avalon

Church everything is all right, we are all a family of the heart here, getting along makes us realize that we are different yet our destination is the same.
That's good to be different, that's the beauty of life an endless of different life forms all around us . Have a great day !!!

Blessings to all....
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Old 02-23-2010, 08:03 PM   #9
Church
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Default Re: I discovered a weakness of mine, with thanks to Project Avalon

I love you too Luana, and pilot and Frank. And everyone reading this.
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Old 02-23-2010, 08:25 PM   #10
mudra
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Default Re: I discovered a weakness of mine, with thanks to Project Avalon

Teachers and pupils we all have these roles in Avalon .
It does'nt matter which side we find ourselves in we all learn.
For every experience we make is a challenge to our Heart.
In Love we grow .

Love for You Church
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Old 02-23-2010, 08:39 PM   #11
greybeard
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Default Re: I discovered a weakness of mine, with thanks to Project Avalon

Dear Church Thanks for posting your thoughts and feelings and im glad you are overcoming. There is no "sin" in being angry its just a "sin" to not accept responsibility for it and you have done that beautifully with love.
The moment there is responsibility taken with awareness the weakens begins to dissolve.
All of that which you have spoken of in your post says a lot about what you have become and are becoming.
With love
Chris
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Old 02-23-2010, 09:41 PM   #12
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Default Re: I discovered a weakness of mine, with thanks to Project Avalon

> I discovered a weakness of mine, with thanks to Project Avalon

Awesome. We all win.

Quote:
I am here because the time is much nearer than most people here realize, where we will be forced to choose a path,
We dont have to wait, the sooner you get it done the better.

A..

Last edited by Anchor; 02-23-2010 at 09:44 PM.
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Old 02-23-2010, 11:04 PM   #13
jacody
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Default Re: I discovered a weakness of mine, with thanks to Project Avalon

Quote:
Originally Posted by pilot View Post
There was a gay bashing thread??

It wasn't a gay bashing thread, but a cetain member bashed homosexuality, saying schools had an agenda to make kids homosexual, King Lear also said that it was disgusting that homosexuals "promote" homosexuality with shirts that say ,"gay pride",etc. The guy said he didn't condone homosexuality, and yet he did in every post and made offense to every member who supported homosexuality.
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Old 02-23-2010, 11:46 PM   #14
PilotSimone
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Default Re: I discovered a weakness of mine, with thanks to Project Avalon

Thank you for your thoughtful post, Church. It felt good to read.

I started adding consistently negative people to my Ignore List several months ago...it's made quite a difference. The threads read so much differently when I can't see certain posters. I recommend it to anyone who feels they keep getting sucked into negativity.

On the other hand, I sometimes wonder if I'm just putting off dealing with something inside myself.

Much Love to you, Church. Thank you for sharing.
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Old 02-24-2010, 12:39 AM   #15
Mercuriel
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Thumbs up Re: I discovered a weakness of mine, with thanks to Project Avalon

Quote:
Originally Posted by Church View Post
But I may very well not respond to certain posts or certain individuals, and I want to come right out and state that now, in print, before I hang around PA any further. I personally believe everything is already, and always has been, alright. Everything is going to be fine. But that doesn't change the fact that many people are going to be fearful of things they will be witnessing or experiencing in the upcoming years, and I only want to be there for those people. Anyone who wishes to participate in 3rd density dramas like Left vs Right, Conservative vs Republican, Christians vs Satanists, then be my guest... I just won't be paying much attention to you.
Alas - You have said it better than no One could. I was about to level the same sentiments in a Thread of My own making but as You've already elucidated them - It is now not necessary to do so.

I will simply say this in addendum. I concur and am in Alignment with this Perspective.

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Old 02-24-2010, 12:47 AM   #16
Majorion
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Default Re: I discovered a weakness of mine, with thanks to Project Avalon

Welcome to Avalon Church
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Old 02-24-2010, 06:34 AM   #17
raulduke
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Default Re: I discovered a weakness of mine, with thanks to Project Avalon

Glad you decided to return Church, you made some good points in that other thread. I understand your intollerance of hate, but I don't think that's really what we were confronting there. Ignorance is more like it imo. I know that sounds really condescending, but I'll take the rap for that. It's not that they hate, they just see something different that they don't understand hence the fear masquerading as hate. That thread did bum me out a bit, I really didn't expect that from people who come to PA, but it's a useful reminder that ignorance is a formidable foe, and that it takes a calm lucid mind to counter the assumptions, red herrings, faulty premises, and stereo types slung by the ignorant. Hopefully someday they will realise what you and I, and many others here do, that we are all one.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Church View Post
...that gay-bashing thread.
Just to clarify, I started that thread, and it was most certainly intended as an ANTI - gay bashing thread.
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Old 02-24-2010, 07:14 AM   #18
truthseekerdan
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Default Re: I discovered a weakness of mine, with thanks to Project Avalon




~ Love and light ~
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Old 02-24-2010, 01:02 PM   #19
Church
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Default Re: I discovered a weakness of mine, with thanks to Project Avalon

Thanks everyone! I really do feel the love here. I'm sorry I made myself known in the way I did, by lowering myself to the level I did in that other thread. I know that most of you know I meant well, but it doesn't change the fact that I allowed myself to get sucked down to a low level, and that is not who I am. I hereby pick myself up, dust myself off, and begin a new day.

Raulduke, I want to take the opportunity to say that I am well aware that the thread started off a different way than it ended. You most certainly started that thread with the polar opposite intention than it ended up manifesting. In fact, before the anti-gay sentiment came up, and before I had made myself known in that thread, I was showing your thread to all of my friends and certain family members that I knew would appreciate all those photos. I really love the mindset of the people who were protesting the protesters in a very civil, non-violent, and FUNNY manner.

So yeah, the thread devolved from its original purpose. The person/people who initiated that devolution know exactly what they did. And I know, now, how I helped the derailment. And for that, I am sorry, and have learned a valuable lesson about myself, and other people I still share the planet with.

NOW!! With all that being said, I want to personally thank everyone for welcoming me back and giving me another opportunity to introduce myself and start from scratch. I'm a nice guy, I promise. I mean well.

Last edited by Church; 02-24-2010 at 01:21 PM.
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