Solitary Man/Woman

[Carmen]

When I first started on this spiritual journey, path, unveiling, what ever you want to call it. It was such a solitary journey. This new knowledge, passion was all incompassing. I tried my best to share it with friends and family, but they didn't understand and were not interested.

I tried to join organisations of like minded people but that didn't work. Either the group would be too ego based or what they were learning was old stuff for me. I would be back on my own again. The learning continued anyway, mainly through books. They would literally jump out of shelves at me.


Since those early days my family (most of them) are of the same mind as me, and I have a whole different set of friend. But in many ways the journey is still an alone one. What have other mmbers experienced in this regard?

[Delphi]

I have been really lucky to have had friends since my waking up begun in earnest in 1988 - some are still in London, some are in the north of Scotland, a few are local to me in south Scotland. One has been lurking on Avalon for months and another decided tonight to check it out, and phoned me to say she couldn't find it on google. She had typed process avalon, which surely counts as a Freudian slip!
And I want to thank all the Avalonians for being here, for sharing information experience, laughs and LOVE
Hugs to all the SGC

[Josefine]

My journey started in my teens. I offered to lead a study group in comparative religions to teenagers a couple of years younger, including my sister. I was turned down with a shocked silence: Is she an infidel? One of the group later became a bishop.

Then my journey really picked up 25 years ago. I found it harder to chit-chat and agree with the accepted knee-jerk responses. I met a man that truly was an avatar. He told me an incredible story of perseverance: He had walked alone in nature for 10 years, begging god to talk to him. Then things really started to happen. He had an aura that was so full of balm, it was healing just to be in his presence.

16 years ago the journey became a bit tougher with more of the sinister agendas being revealed to me. In one period I was in a constant state of mourning and grieving and worrying, also angry. But that passed, and I truly learned to embrace the midway path.

It has been somewhat of an agreement among some family members that I was obsessive in my interests.

Luckily I am able to share with those closest. And I have been richly rewarded as my life is deeply meaningful and exciting in an inner discovery sense.


Peace

[recallone]

Originally Posted by Carmen

When I first started on this spiritual journey, path, unveiling, what ever you want to call it. It was such a solitary journey. This new knowledge, passion was all incompassing. I tried my best to share it with friends and family, but they didn't understand and were not interested.

I tried to join organisations of like minded people but that didn't work. Either the group would be too ego based or what they were learning was old stuff for me. I would be back on my own again. The learning continued anyway, mainly through books. They would literally jump out of shelves at me.


Since those early days my family (most of them) are of the same mind as me, and I have a whole different set of friend. But in many ways the journey is still an alone one. What have other mmbers experienced in this regard?

I'm not sure if you realize the enormity of your observations, but they're huge, my friend. HUGE. The chronological time involved in arriving to this point is irrelevant. Sorry to say for all you spiritual academics out there, but the next step is not found in any book. It's found in the very place that all of your avatars, Christs, Buddhas and holy men told you where it was. Inside. So, inside we go.

I think the more we look for additional leaders from outside, the more we deny that everything is already inside. It's all part of the puzzle that we intentionally came here, right now - at this particular point in time - to finally solve. My experience has been a similar one, Carmen. This post really served as a confirmation for me. There are going to be a number of parallels, I think for those of us who are finally realizing.

The true progress that's to be made collectively depends heavily upon the efforts and attention of the individual. There's a quickening taking place and people are beginning to figure it out. People are doubting their religions, doubting their governments, doubting their scientific conclusions about how things are. They're all itching for the same thing you are. Truth.

As more people begin looking within and dismissing themselves from all the trappings of this paradigm, (stripping away the layers of programming) we'll progress exponentially, collectively. But it begins with you. It's an individual journey that eventually leads to total connection. Kind of crazy the way that works, but . . . that's how at leastI think it is. Today. I might have an entirely different idea about it tomorrow. lol

Peace and light

[Carmen]

Yes recallone, My experience is of coming back to 'within'. Seems to be that the only reason we journey outward is to also journey "back" to within.

In the past week or so I have been experiencing a sort of armageddan within myself. A sort of last stand of the personality/ego self. A pulling in two different directions. One is backward to the past, to hopelessness and doubt. The other fills me with bliss and encouragement. I recognise this tug of war for what it is. The interesting thing about it is a close friend of mine this morning was describing the same thing happening to her. A huge influx of spiritual energy coupled with the old personality hanging or trying to, hang in their.

Is anyone else experiencing anything similiar

Love and Light

Carmen

[asteram]

Hi Carmen-

That old image fights hard and dirty, doesn't it? Gurdjieff talked a lot about the multiple "I"s within each person, each one thinking it was the only one. He taught that one has to create a new "I" called the observer just to have someone watching what's going on with all of the other "I"s. None of them are the real us, but they do like to strut the stage.

One more thing on that: The Greek myth of the hydra with many heads, that each time one head was cut off the stump grew two more. I've always thought that a good analogy for the battle against the "I"s or images. One must engage all in battle, many of them over and over and over. Eventually some of the heads stop growing two new ones and some give up altogether. it does get easier, but as many heads as I've lopped off, there are still a few left to go.

I say the path to mastery is a lone journey. That's just how it is. If you are fortunate enough to find a good companion along the same path as you, cherish them for however long they are there. Few enough are truly walking the path of mastery; most are just playing games. That's OK too, let them have their fun and learn a little. Don't be too disappointed to learn that they are just playing another type of image game. As long as you are in this world you will be surrounded by images that think they are real; the enlightened path image is just another version.

It sounds as if you may have already made the decision and are having a hard time saying goodbye. Careful now, one step too far down that path and there is no turning back.

[solitaryman]

I don't think IT is something you want.I THINK ,IT WAS BORNED WITH YOU.

[futureyes]

this path has been a lonely one indeed for me always, many challenges along the way, lots of bumps and bruises, very much felt like an alien as no one ever seemed to understand what i knew, felt and experienced ...

awoke with each new sunrise believing THAT was going to be the day that someone understood ...

never felt like a victim as i always felt the pull to keep going, one day THAT day would finally arrive ...

a couple of years ago my life was finally making some kind of sense, started connecting the dots, if i hadn't had the life experiences i had, i wouldn't be who i am today and i am humbled and blessed by this knowing ...

wasn't significant that no one else "got it", what is of great truth for me now is that a higher power always did, the connection i have always had with source was what was true and right, i trusted the one and only constant friendship i had, it is all that ever mattered, i couldn't see that in my life, but now, now i finally feel it within my heart ...

didn't matter if anyone else understood my truth, only mattered that i did, that i trusted the connection i have, and thus, trusting my self ...

[asteram]

Yes, futureyes. I so much agree. If one hadn't had the experiences, they wouldn't know/be who/what they are today. If one had gotten what they wanted......oh man.

I do follow the practice of focusing on what I want to bring it into my life, but I also know there is a higher intelligence and wisdom guiding if and how I get those things and that is where I put my trust.

[futureyes]

Originally Posted by asteram

Yes, futureyes. I so much agree. If one hadn't had the experiences, they wouldn't know/be who/what they are today. If one had gotten what they wanted......oh man.

I do follow the practice of focusing on what I want to bring it into my life, but I also know there is a higher intelligence and wisdom guiding if and how I get those things and that is where I put my trust.

wow, precisely asteram, the higher intelligence that you speak of is absolutely speaking within each and every one of us, we can either choose to hear its wisdom or we can continue to dismiss it ...

when we one day choose to listen, our connection is re-membered, we receive our truth and our love and light within us expands outward ...

we must first learn what is within us, various experiences along our path to our truth is necessary, floating on fluff won't facilitate our truth, bumps and bruises do, even though they may cause us pain in that moment, where would we be without them, we'd be somewhere on the surface that is where we would remain, our truth lies deeply ingrained within us, takes some digging to first locate it and then live it ...

solitary experiences, yes ... but all for purpose, for the beauty of life as we were meant to live it ...

Originally Posted by Carmen

In the past week or so I have been experiencing a sort of armageddan within myself. A sort of last stand of the personality/ego self. A pulling in two different directions. One is backward to the past, to hopelessness and doubt. The other fills me with bliss and encouragement. I recognise this tug of war for what it is. The interesting thing about it is a close friend of mine this morning was describing the same thing happening to her. A huge influx of spiritual energy coupled with the old personality hanging or trying to, hang in their.

Is anyone else experiencing anything similiar

Love and Light

Carmen

YES!!! I went through that last month... I even had cravings for meat and I've been a veg for decades and decades. It was most unusual as I have never had meat cravings before. Even as a child I didn't like to eat meat. Interesting to think back on it as a "last stand"......I wondered (and still wonder) what was causing it. It lasted almost 2 weeks.