[greybeard]

Good to see you back here on this thread 14 chakras
Your wisdom is invaluable.

Recent events have caused me to think very deeply and that takes me back to AA the staring point of spiritual quest.
I find it easy to share personal stuff because thats what you do in AA meetings.

I befriended many in AA and the help and advice received was invaluable.
Virtually everything I know is second hand but I took what resonated with me in AA, tried for size and if it worked kept it and shared it.

The main cause of alcoholics leaving AA drinking again and dying is resentment.
So the teaching in AA is that there is no such thing as a justifiable resentment.
There are people in AA from all walks of life most are kind and gentle souls who could not cope with life and got their courage / escape from the bottle pre AA.

it broke my heart to see people i loved going back on the bottle and dying.

One way or another the ego convinced them that they had it sused out after some time in AA how to stay sober with out the unconditional love expressed in the fellowship.

They would start to pick holes in the teachings that had saved millions of lives from this incurable illness. They would get resentful for one reason or another and leave.
Yes they had it figured out intellectually but had not realized that the Higher Power expressed in that unconditional love was what was keeping them sober.
Within weeks I and fellow members would be at their funeral.

"When two or more are gathered in My Name" is the source of the Power.

Alcoholism is not caused by excessive drinking, excessive drinking is a symptom of the disease. It is in part genetic.

I know exactly what I am in that respect. I am a recovering alcoholic one day at a time.
I know I dident get sober through will power, in this regard will power is a liability.

I cant afford to be intellectual and loose the relationship that I have with God or I would face a painful miserable death in short order.
The knowledge that I am powerless over alcohol keeps me relatively humble compared to the old egoic self

I rarely go to AA now as I know that God is within me.
Knowing on this level cant be intellectual.
its not theory or talking about---- it is it.

I cannot afford to carry the past with its perceived unfairness ( I dident ask to be a suicidal alki) or I loose gratitude for the moment and peace of mind.

With love
Chris