[I_Am]

The shaman way,

is to live - not from day to day, nor hour to hour.

But from second to second.

As Castaneda said: If we could live from second to second - we would find that life is eternal!

I know this is of no comfort to you - but more like an oportunity, however not wanted, not that anyone wish to find oneself in:

I sense that you already might have felt the here-and-now vertigo!
The feeling of beeing truely awake, and alive.

That is a blessing - most of us do not find this before it is too late.

As long as you are still alive - it is not too late!

The blessing in the doomed state (I know it's contradictionary) is the help you get from you illness - to use every second. Every second counts.
As it does for everyone of us really. Most of us just don't get it.

You have become alive. You just stated that you can sense some of what other people here feels for you. For each other here, in this virtual community - of understanding, respect and love. And sometimes, disagreement, irritation, misunderstanding.

THIS is what life is!

THAT is what we all need to meditate upon.

One - to be awake - and be in the every precious second. In every breath we take.
Two - to connect. To sense eachother. To sense ourselves.
Three - to dare. And you are a very brave person, Freedom Fighter!

And the fight is not lost before the end of the war, right? Never is the fight lost!

Freedom fighter - I'll give you two thought viruses that might (or might not) help you a little:

One - try to imagine (a lot) that you are cleaning your internal with water, bucket and a brush. Throwing the bad cells out from you body, and replacing them with pure, crystal clear water.
Two - (a bit more scientific perhaps) - Cancer is a auto-immune disorder - the immune system is *very* sensitive to our psycologic state, our determination and imagination. Thus - you may also have the ability to actually change the outcome of the combat in some respect.
Three - acidity is also a culprit in cancer; we breathe too poorly and eat too much shiity stuff that creates acidity in our methabolism. Sprouts, especially broccoli sprouts, are good for you. Anti-oxidants are important (fruit, tomatoes, cabbage, fish) and will help.

And don't forget breathing! Breathe deep. From the bottom of your body - from the butt actually. From the base chakra. Breathe and ventilate. It feels soo good to breathe properly - fight to breathe all the time. Breathe deaply! Slow and deep. All the time.

Breathing will also help you to stay in the state of living in the second to second. To stay in the Shamanic consiouness.

Breathe. Fight. Focus on the experience.

And please - don't think too much. Your heart is so much wiser than you brain.

/Michael

ps. We are many here who will try to help you on the way: Me, Mudra, Rhythm, and others - we are shamans and healers. Try too connect with us, and you will soon find some very interesting experiences indeed. Ds.

PPS. Good luck and happy hunting! DDS.