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Originally Posted by m1*
Well, regarding the PTS, I'd buy that. I mean, it's blatantly obvious that I was discontent about SOMETHING as someone leaned over me with a metal object. I felt like I wanted to grab him by the neck and strangle him. I really lost the plot that day. I was so embarrassed.
I was having trouble with my wisom teeth, and after that "episode" the dentist recommended that when I had them removed I was to be put to sleep. That was probably a very good idea, because I very likely WOULD have strangled someone.
But you know something peculiar? After that trip, I went to the hospital to have my wisdom teeth removed. I tell no word of a lie, this is what happened:
I was lying on the bed thing what ever it is called in a gown, in a room, ready to be rolled into the theater. A nurse places a blanket over me and also a machine which pumps warm air into another plastic type blanket to raise my body temperature. I noted to them: "Good, because I am very cold blooded". I wasn't trying to reference anything. All I meant was that I feel the cold much more than other people. Then, another guy (don't know what his role was), but he had ONE slit eye, I could see it (and I swear I am not telling fibs), he said: "Like those creatures from the center of the earth?". I looked at him and my eyes opened like saucepans (so to speak). I was speechless. Why did he say THAT? That is NOT a good thing to say to me if they wish me to STAY on that table and not disintegrate everything in the room! However, I didn't say anything or move, because I still felt highly embarrassed about the "dentist" situation and I didn't want to come out of that surgery having dome something even worse. So I just lied there and tried to keep my cool. But I was thinking.. WHY did you say that?
..and why DID he say that? I tell no word of a lie, I looked into his eyes just prior to him saying that and one of them was slit. I thought I was imagining things. See, the whole thing is - I was AWARE (after the dentist situation) that I get a bit over excited when people lean over me with metal objects, so I was trying HARD to just remain calm and not do anything that will cause me embarrassment. That is pretty much the only reason why I didn't jump off that table there and then -- because I was already putting in a great effort to remain calm. But I am still highly confused why he said that.
Maybe it was an inside joke between the staff? Maybe they were told what I did at the dentist? Maybe they know something about people who react that way? Maybe he was trying to get a reaction? I am still left with the question: WHY did he say that?
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I sometimes wonder if there isn't something written on the computers as to what we are. Or even orders whether to let some people die, or treat others so they'll live. I lost a father in 2005, under some suspicious circumstances to hospital diagnosis, as well as I went to the hospital for "simple" gall bladder surgery that ended up being a 7 month nightmare, and almost dying few times.
Something the doctor told me really alerted me to that feeling.
After the first surgeons botched the surgery, (let it rupture and turn gangrene, and MRSA set in, and almost died) the specialist, told my husband and I that I'll likely not make it. It didn't look very good for me. Etc.. Etc... Then he asked me how old my children were. (I started being a mom late in life) I said 8, 9, and 14. His whole tune changed! Suddenly I was going to make it, everything would be alright.
But yeah, then he botched it too. Forgot to give me antibiotics, and I got a wound abcess, and MRSA again. Almost died again. (MRSA is a wicked disease!) Not to mention from all the medication and Mrsa, I was in a wheel chair for about 3 to 4 months.
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Hybridization doesn't really fit the way I see things, but I am not closed minded. I wouldn't be at all surprised if I am a hybrid of some kind. It would certainly make sense. I am very different (not in appearance) but in mindset towards just about everyone around me. I know that EVERYONE is different to one extent or another -- but I M REALLY different in the way that I see and react to things. I am different in what I see as valuable and what is not valuable. I often have great difficulty fitting in with peers, and have to put in a great conscious effort to act as they do -- not because I have low self esteem and want them to like me, but because if I act the way "I" feel I should act, they all think I am weird - so I can do without it. I only ever say a fraction of what I am thinking in social environments. I often look at the way people relate and react to each other and I find myself becoming rather depressed with social situations -- in minutes. So I sit there and smile and fit in, but deep down I am thinking? Is THIS all there is? Is THIS what people find fun? Oh man... I'd prefer to stand in the middle of nowhere and stare at the stars than I would like to sit with a heap of people drinking and telling crude jokes and reciting stupid stories about some immoral thing they did the day before. It's a real chore for me to deal with. So I live alone and I have been single for a decade. I just can't handle being around people for too long. They are very depressing to me.
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I've thought about this very subject many times. I don't know how else to bring this up without sounding like I'm "Wierd" so what the heck.
there have been so many times that I will "Feel" someone's emotions. And many times when I run across gifted people, such as yourself, I sense they are looking for an Equal. (along with loneliness many times, and few other emotions thrown in occasionally too.)
If you stop and think about it, If you get into a relationship/friendship with average person, can read their thoughts, feelings, etc.... it would get pretty one sided, and unequal relationship/friendship. But what would happen if you met someone whom had a simular gift, and could BLOCK or psychically defend themselves? you couldn't read their thoughts, know what they're feeling? Kind of puts things on the same playing field then, doesn't it?
Don't know if that's possible. Just a thought.