Suriel,
I completely understand your situation, it resonated very strongly with me. Your relationship with your brother is very similar to mine with my mother, which is who I was referring to earlier. She had me at a very young age and has blamed me for everything she has ever NOT done although I was brought up by my grandparents allowing her the freedom to do whatever she chose. No matter what I have done, what qualifications I have gained or choices I have made (all of which make my grandparents very proud) she has berated me for and constantly reminded me of her disappointment.
It has taken me a long time to realise that I do not require her acceptance and that my bitterness towards her was enveloping me to the point where those negative feelings that I had were spilling over into the positive asepcts of my life also. She also has little to do with her parents (my grandparents) and has from what I understand from other family members, always acted out and been rebellious.
I cannot say that I would wish to embrace her again, but certainly do not wish her ill will any longer. Something in me goes into overdrive when she is around in a very negative way and while I wish her all the best, my life (or maybe it is just me) does not function well whilst she is around. My work life becomes more stressful and my home life more strained. I think the lesson which I am being taught with regards to my mother: know when to let go. It seems to be doing the trick as my life feels so much more balanced since that realisation (which I have to admit has been long drummed into me by my much wiser partner and grandmother). Maybe another lesson there, thinking about it: try listening
I don't know if this is the answer I am meant to find, I guess time will be the test with this one.