Old Project Avalon Forum (ARCHIVE) - View Single Post - Happy Halloween 2008

sylph16 · 11-01-2008, 01:10 AM

Ten Signs You Are Too Old For Halloween

You get winded from knocking on the door

You have to have someone chew the candy for you

You ask for high fiber candy only.

When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.

People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing a mask.

When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and you can't remember the rest.

By the end of the night you have a bag full of restraining orders.

You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hair piece.

You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.

You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.

HALLOWEEN DICTIONARY

Bobbing Apples: What happens when you leave your bra off while running.

Boogieman: Guy who passes time at a stoplight picking his nose.

Coffin: What you do when you get a piece of popcorn stuck in your throat.

Frankenstein: Hot dog and a mug of beer.

Full moon: What your repairman reveals when he bends over to fix your fridge.

Goblin: How you eat the Snickers bars you got for Halloween.

Invisible Man: What a guy becomes when there's housework to be done. Also, see "Mr. Hyde."

Jack O' Lantern: An Irish Pumpkin.

Jack the Ripper: What Jack does to his lottery tickets after losing each week.

Mummy: Who kisses the boo-boo after you scrape your knee.

Pumpkin Patch: What a pumpkin wears when trying to quit smoking.

Skeleton: Any supermodel.

Vampire Bat: What Dracula hits a baseball with.

Witch: See "Mother-in-Law."

Zombie: What you look like before that first cup of morning coffee.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

11-01-2008, 01:10 AM	#12
sylph16 Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Sandy Hook, CT Posts: 92	Re: Happy Halloween 2008 - Give the Devil his due . . . Ten Signs You Are Too Old For Halloween You get winded from knocking on the door You have to have someone chew the candy for you You ask for high fiber candy only. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing a mask. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and you can't remember the rest. By the end of the night you have a bag full of restraining orders. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hair piece. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live. HALLOWEEN DICTIONARY Bobbing Apples: What happens when you leave your bra off while running. Boogieman: Guy who passes time at a stoplight picking his nose. Coffin: What you do when you get a piece of popcorn stuck in your throat. Frankenstein: Hot dog and a mug of beer. Full moon: What your repairman reveals when he bends over to fix your fridge. Goblin: How you eat the Snickers bars you got for Halloween. Invisible Man: What a guy becomes when there's housework to be done. Also, see "Mr. Hyde." Jack O' Lantern: An Irish Pumpkin. Jack the Ripper: What Jack does to his lottery tickets after losing each week. Mummy: Who kisses the boo-boo after you scrape your knee. Pumpkin Patch: What a pumpkin wears when trying to quit smoking. Skeleton: Any supermodel. Vampire Bat: What Dracula hits a baseball with. Witch: See "Mother-in-Law." Zombie: What you look like before that first cup of morning coffee. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!! Last edited by sylph16; 11-01-2008 at 01:12 AM.