This perhaps NOT what people expect, but is a near death experience.
4 yrs ago I got at 6am to go to work, I had quite severe pain in my chest and wondered what the heck it was. My wife was just going to work and asked if I was ok, I just said, yeah you go. The pain gradually worsened and started to become rather worrying. I trie to sit but suddenly couldnt move because of the pain, I fell slowly to my knees and couldt help but think about my father dying of heart attack at a young age, his father dying of a heart attack at an even younger age and there I was mid 40's and on my way to join them.
The pain is impossible to describe, even so as I realised my predicament an unearthly calm came over me and I realised that, ok I'm gonna die. It was not a problem, the acceptance of death was the most beautiful peace I have ever experienced. It was magic, it was PEACE. I dont know how long those moments lasted, there were no tunnels of light, no out of body, floating in the air experiences, no worry for myself, no worry for my family. It was just .... dying.
Anyway, I was very suddenly "sucked" back to reality as the pain once again raged. I knew then that I wasnt gonna die (bit disappointed actually) I managed to crawl to the phone and called an ambulance, told of the family death rate from heart related problems and collapsed in a heap.
The ambulance men started doing their job and pretty soon I was in the local hospital, despite all the treatment, I was still in agony and not very well. By now my family had been informed and were with me, I managed to tell them that I was NOT going to die from this. The doctors diagnosed a blood clot trapped in my heart, I knew it wasnt.
I was concious at all times, though unable to say very much and although the pain was forcing me to drift off somewhere, I was amazingly aware of what was going on, it was like I could read every little mimick of every person and knew what they were thinking. The doctors then decided to transfer me to a specialist hospital an hours drive away. It has denmarks most advanced heart and lung department and the countries top specialists. I was whisked away for my second ambulance trip of the day, flashing lights and sirens 150 km an hour and feeling pretty rough.
At the hospital I was rushed up to the emergency ward, a nurse on each side of me telling me that I was ok and about to get the best treatment, cos the top docs were waiting for me etc... In the ward which was enormous, there were at least 12 people and so much technology I felt like I was in a sci-fi film, computer screens and monitors and god knows what else in the way of equipment. The nurses sat each side of me and held my hand, stroked my forehead etc... I will love them forever.
The top docs did everything possible and more, but as time went by I got weaker, my system was closing down and they didnt know why. To cut a long story short, by 8 oclock in the evening they gave up, I was once again having to accept that I was going to die. My family was with me once again, as I was wheeled into a side room basically to die with my family present. A nurse sat in the corner and the atmosphere was on a severe downer, suddenly two doctors came in, they were students at the hospital and had heard about this "unsolvable" case. They came in out of curiosity, I could sense that and one of them also said so. He asked the nurse for the x-rays from the first hospital, she said there were none, he asked for "our" x-rays, there were none.
I knew at that moment, that that guy was my saviour. I was rushed to x-ray, where they discovered that my right lung had completely collapsed! no heart trouble, they had spent all day looking in the wrong place.
Well I was treated blah blah and survived to live on. Lots of details left out of this, cos its too long to start with. But 2 near death experiences in one day, the first was beautiful, the second was full of desperate fear and helplessness. I have since then accepted that death is beautiful, it doesnt hurt (however it may seem) and even though the slow demise in the second part was not very pleasant, mostly cos my family felt so helpless, I no longer have any fear of dying. Sorry if this is a bit long, but I do tend to ramble once I get started. love n light to all - Anthony
