Re: i'm dying
You have more than enough information here from our wonderful Avalon group but I felt guided to add my own story. Take what you need if it helps and leave the rest.
When I was 21 I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, Lupus. At the time they thought it was fatal.
For a time I lived into this disease, going to self-help groups, learning about it, I was in college and went into my first 'flare' and almost died.
They put me on mega doses of pregnisone intervenously. After 3 weeks of being in the hospital I was still on over 100 mg per day of steroids, I blew up like the pillsbury dough boy, from a sz. 6 to a 16!
Needless to say the additional shock of my appearance taken away with the 'moon face', weight gain and my mental capacity affected by the high dose of steroids, I was in a state of shock, depression and deep sadness.
(b/c of being on them for over a year I have 2 artificial hips and rods down my spine. I only say this to show you I am not a stranger to medical issues)
After I was off the steroids, I decided not to live into this person anymore. I would be ME with a side issue of Lupus, not ME/Lupus person. I learned to detach from it. I hope that makes sense.
I didn't go to anymore meetings as I felt the people there just talked about how sick they were, who died that month and what medicine they were taking.
At 22, I was determined not to live that way.
Over the course of 30 years, I have had 4 or more doctors all telling me I have Lupus.
I have only had two flares both when I was under stress.
As unenlightened as I was at such an early age I was guided to visualize my lupus as the dots in a Pac Man video game and the little Pac Men would eat up all my Lupus.
I would think about visualizing your disease. What color is it? What shape? What music would it be playing?
It is only in your fear of it that keeps it in place.
Love it, make friends with it, understand it.
Now that I have learned about how the mind affects the body, I now see that I was using my mind to tell myself I would not be sick anymore, and I would not live into what the doctors were saying.
Over the years I grew in knowledge of who I am and choosing not to be a victim of illusions, buying into the world of disease. This past January I had more Lupus tests, and they do not show any Lupus present.
Of course this took me a long time to transcend, I guess I am a slow learner, it was something I had to find out for myself.
It has taught me not to be a victim of life's experiences and to know deeply we have been given dominion over the physical.
Especially now with so many 'stories' flying around about our future, it has helped me to navigate and transcend the fear around fema camps, rumors of WWIII, and all the other illusions we are under.
While they may have some truth to them, they still live in possibility of happening, NOT fact, and TPB feed off of our fear from these rumors. Darkness never wins in the presence and the power of Light.
I don't know what your path is and why your body is manifesting this dis-ease.
I can only encourage you to go into meditation and ask your body what it needs from you, ask what lesson it is trying to teach to you.
It is only in the physical realm that we manifest dis-ease, our soul remains in a perpetual state of unity and radiance.
Your body is trying to tell you something. Perhaps something unresolved in your past.
I would also start journaling with the deepest part of your soul. Buy a journal and title it "My journey back to Health" or another title that will move you and state your intention.
Live from that place and new possibilities will open to you.
Be careful of your speaking. Your post, "I'm dying", just created your reality in speaking those words and putting them out to the universe.
Other people may guide you to your healing, but you need to be responsible for creating it. Not consciously creating it, like I want to be sick, rather what is going on in your subconscious, or the part of yourself that you do not know exists.
This is a very powerful place to stand, one in which you cannot be in victim mentality to do.
If it is your time to leave this plane of existence, be at peace that your journey here is finished and you are going home. I say this not to be insensitive only for your benefit to practice unattachment.
If there is something for you to learn this may be the catalyst your body is using to kick you into high gear to find it, especially since we are in a time of transition on the planet.
I have almost died many times, been in a coma where I astral planed all over the world! I came back because I still had more to learn about myself.
I don't believe this to be your case, I do strongly believe this is a karmic agreement you made prior to incarnating here and it will bring you wonderful gifts of understanding.
I feel I needed to go through my own dis-ease to gain all the wonderful gifts it has brought to me so I can teach others on the path to wholeness. I am an intuitive guide who specializes in the archetypal realm and to help people go into their shadow self to uncover ingrained patterns that do not serve them in this lifetime.
Know that you have the guidance of your higher Self, all you need to do is ask and you have many loving people on this forum to help you get through this life transition.
The only worthy gifts are ones that are paid for with the high price in learning them. This is a gift to your soul Chris, rearrange your thoughts around that.
I wish you so much love and peace.
Please stay in touch as to how you are doing.
In Love and Light
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