I called the Swine Flu hotline - all I got was crackling
I heard that the first symptom is that you come out in rashers.
Another is that you get the trotts.
The doctor asked me how long I'd had the symptoms of Swine Flu. I said it must have been about a Weeeeeeeeeeeeeek!
Apparently my wife's got Swine Flu - I think she's just telling porkies!
The only known cure for Swine Flu in humans has been found to be the liberal application of 'oinkment'.
IF YOU GET AN EMAIL ABOUT SWINE FLU DELETE IT AS IT'S ONLY SPAM.
