Dealing with the Negative People in our Survival Groups

[Seva]

Originally Posted by Shellie

I agree that your sister-in-law probably suffers from self esteem and anxiety issues.

If she is clueless as to what is really going on, then this will get MUCH worse in the short-term. If/when that happens you need to accept her and take care of her, but make it clear that if her behavior and attitude is dragging everyone else down to the point of being a danger to the group, she may be cut off.

Now, what you can do to help prevent that is to giver her a job. Just give her one or two very easy and manageable jobs and make sure that she is the only one to do it- no one else. This can help her self-esteem, make her feel valuable to the group, and make her a little more active/responsible for herself and less of a "victim".

thats is great advice, and would help correct her thinking aswell. Many people get down on themselves if they think they lack value. A self esteem boost would probably be lifechanging.

[333mark333]

As our personalities, wants and needs are different we must accept that our interaction with others will be sometimes difficult.
When you see her, know that she is the universe. She is not evolving as you and as an evolved being you must have understanding.
I am sure that when the time comes she will rise to the call and empower herself, if on the other hand she goes down deeper i doubt that you will be the one who chastises her, as your tolerance will be high.
The others with less understanding will play the Karmic game.

[MMe M]

When it comes down to a survival situation, group decisions win. She will have a role to play as do you. Till that time comes, stop worrying. It is true that disagreeable individuals do bring out the best in others.

Maybe she will alert your group when a danger is near. This is the flash I keep getting. Also the phrase "Ugly but necesary".

Best o luck to you.

[ChooseYourLifeNow]

Thanks everyone! Awesome advice and I do feel much better about the situation! I am confident that what will play out will be for the best, and maybe a survival situation will bring out the best out in her. I shouldn't have preconceived idea because in a situation like that anything can happen.

I may find myself crumbling and she could bring me out of a funk! I have no idea. She truly is an excellent person to learn from if she brings all this out of me.

Thanks everyone! Love to you All,

CYLNow

[whitecrow]

Originally Posted by ChooseYourLifeNow

I don't want a person to poison my radiant zone....How do I handle this situation. She does not bring out the best in me, and if I had the choice I would let her fend for herself, but I can't do that....ARG....help!

Until recently I had a co-worker whose energy was extremely dark. The entire workforce was affected by this one individual. No matter how I tried to understand and befriend this person, it was virtually impossible. I've given a lot of thought to this encounter. Was it my failure to connect, or was it his failure to grasp the light? He was eventually caught stealing and fired.

A negative person can be a huge challenge. Be glad it's not your spouse (been there, got the T-shirt). I believe we can benefit from these relationships. They cause us to at least consider new ways of approaching others. In my co-worker's case, my best solution was ultimately to simply avoid him. He continually lied and backstabbed, but what was worse was that he made me angry...he pushed my buttons. On one or two occasions I felt I had to confront him, and you may have to do the same with the problem person in your life. I feel for you in this situation, and can only suggest that you do your best to not let it get to you.

[weezle]

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.

I think this was one of Mahatma Ghandi's statements

Good luck!