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Old 01-11-2010, 12:55 AM   #476
Gnosis5
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

I could see Benny Hill doing a skit like that
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Old 01-11-2010, 06:55 AM   #477
Brinty
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tango View Post
Soooo... I haven't made you Laugh Yet.....

This should do it.....

Tango
AW JEEZ! Now I have to change my pants.
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Old 01-11-2010, 03:35 PM   #478
Swanny
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Kevin the Chicken

Trevor the farmer was in the fertilised egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets' and eight or ten roosters, to fertilise the pullets' eggs.

Trevor kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so Trevor could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

The farmer's favourite rooster was Kevin, and a very fine specimen he was too, but on this particular morning Trevor noticed Kevin's bell hadn't rung at all!

Trevor went to investigate.

The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover but to farmer Trevor's amazement, Kevin had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring.

He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

Trevor was so proud of Kevin, he entered him into the Brisbane Exhibition and Kevin became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The Result?

The judges not only awarded Kevin the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.

Clearly Kevin was a politician in the making: Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.
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Old 01-11-2010, 05:16 PM   #479
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Photons have mass??

I didn't realize they where catholic..
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Old 01-11-2010, 06:48 PM   #480
xbusymom
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

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Photons have mass??

I didn't realize they where catholic..
ROFL- hysterically- I love it
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Old 01-12-2010, 01:30 AM   #481
Tango
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be




Trooly,


Tango
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Old 01-12-2010, 04:42 AM   #482
Gnosis5
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Behind every good man is a better woman :-)
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Old 01-12-2010, 06:28 AM   #483
Gnosis5
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Funny, but earthy



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Old 01-12-2010, 06:47 AM   #484
SiriArc
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Exclamation Moose Malaise

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Old 01-13-2010, 03:29 PM   #485
Jnana
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is of course why we have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle 's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Debra during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over! The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Debra kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+
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Old 01-14-2010, 05:59 AM   #486
Dantheman62
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be









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Old 01-14-2010, 09:54 AM   #487
nato2012nz
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Hi all!
As laughter is my best 'medicine' I thought this thread would provide good grounds for a first poster like myself
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Old 01-17-2010, 12:57 PM   #488
Luminari
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Talking Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Sorry but I needed a light hearted distraction. Unfortunately the best ones couldn't be included due to their intensely explicit nature. Still some interesting ones here.
















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Old 01-21-2010, 11:50 AM   #489
Tango
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

A 'very tired nurse' walks into a bank,

Totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift.

Preparing to write a check,

She pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse

And, tries to write with it.

When she realizes her mistake,

She looks at the flabbergasted teller

And without missing a beat, she says:

" Well, that's great....that's just great....

Some a$$hole's got my pen...!"


Trooly,


Tango
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Old 01-21-2010, 11:52 AM   #490
Oliver
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tango View Post
A 'very tired nurse' walks into a bank,

Totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift.

Preparing to write a check,

She pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse

And, tries to write with it.

When she realizes her mistake,

She looks at the flabbergasted teller

And without missing a beat, she says:

" Well, that's great....that's just great....

Some a$$hole's got my pen...!"


Trooly,


Tango
Lol, lol...!
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Old 01-21-2010, 12:01 PM   #491
Oliver
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Forgive me, dear Avalonians, but I would like to propose this picture as universal symbol of expressing Love and Light to our dear Trolls...so they can`t say we hate them. We love them...as showed!

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Old 01-21-2010, 12:27 PM   #492
Tango
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

LOL




Oh.... Oliver.... This made my day....


Trooly,


Tango
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Old 01-21-2010, 12:32 PM   #493
Oliver
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tango View Post
LOL




Oh.... Oliver.... This made my day....


Trooly,


Tango
I am happy to hear that, my dear friend!

...so, I suggest, wherever you see a troll making troubles on Avalon, just post this picture...sharing Love and Light to him!
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Old 01-21-2010, 12:34 PM   #494
Tango
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

ALWAYS ASK, NEVER ASS U ME

His request approved, the CNN News photographer quickly used
a cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight.

He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at
the airport.

Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up
outside a hanger.

He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and
shouted, " Let's go."

The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took
off.

Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot, " Fly
over the valley and make low passes so I can take pictures of the fires
on the hillsides."

" Why...?" asked the pilot.

"Because I'm a photographer for CNN, he responded, and I
need to get some close up shots."

The pilot was strangely silent for a moment, finally he
stammered, " So, what you're telling me, is . . . You're NOT my flight
instructor...?"




Trooly,


Tango

Last edited by Tango; 01-21-2010 at 12:39 PM.
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Old 01-21-2010, 01:36 PM   #495
futureyes
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

tango ...



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Old 01-21-2010, 05:03 PM   #496
Tango
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Soooo, your telling me NOT to step in front of the bus anymore..... Now, I can

just send the picture.... Snicker..... [Calling them an a$$hole.....] [Laughing !!!]

You are one FUNNY guy... Oliver.... [Really, Laughing Now]

Trooly,


Tango



Quote:
Originally Posted by Oliver View Post
I am happy to hear that, my dear friend!

...so, I suggest, wherever you see a troll making troubles on Avalon, just post this picture...sharing Love and Light to him!
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Old 01-21-2010, 05:28 PM   #497
Tango
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

The greatest prank call ever.....





Laughing.....


Trooly,


Tango
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Old 01-21-2010, 05:40 PM   #498
Oliver
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tango View Post
Soooo, your telling me NOT to step in front of the bus anymore..... Now, I can

just send the picture.... Snicker..... [Calling them an a$$hole.....] [Laughing !!!]

You are one FUNNY guy... Oliver.... [Really, Laughing Now]

Trooly,


Tango
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Old 01-21-2010, 07:16 PM   #499
housemouse2
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

The Story of the Little Sparrow

There once was a little sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter. For flying south was such a bother. Soon all the sparrows had left and the weather started to turn very cold.

With little food and freezing cold the little sparrow reluctantly started his journey south. But soon ice formed on his small wings and the little sparrow plummet to earth and landed in a barnyard.

A cow had strolled by and pooped on the little bird. He thought it was the end of him but the poo had thawed his wings. Warm, happy and able to breathe the little bird began to chirp.

A cat in the barnyard heard the chirping, dug him out of the poop and promptly ate him.

The morale of the story:

1. not everyone who poops on you is your enemy
2. not everyone who digs you out of the poop is your friend
3. and if you are warm and happy in a pile of poop keep your mouth shut

Last edited by housemouse2; 01-21-2010 at 07:22 PM.
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Old 01-21-2010, 07:46 PM   #500
Majorion
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Buzz Aldrin "rapping" with the snoop:

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