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Old 12-14-2009, 08:51 AM   #1
100thmonkey
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Newcastle, Oz
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Default Ex-Christian

I know astrologically now is a good time to offload long held ‘story’. This is a defining part of who I am, and, even if nobody reads it, at least I’ve put it out there - and I haven’t found a better spiritual community to do this than Avalon, even of those sites I will link to at the end…

I’m interested in other people’s stories on this subject too, of those who were once christian but have since left.

Anyway, here’s the basics of my spiritual journey…
I used to believe the bible was the inerrant word of god, that those who thought there were contradictions in it just hadn’t had it explained properly. I used to read 'Creation' magazine and the 'Answers in Genesis' people had me fooled for a long while, thinking I was intelligent and scientific in my beliefs about the 6 day Creation, not gullible like those others who were swayed by ‘evil-ution’…

I knew there was one key to dismantling the bible though, but that it would never be found, because it didn’t exist...

Yet I had no fear of facing any argument against the bible, because the bible was God’s word, and, "If God is for you who can be against you?"
I had told myself that if I ever found any true contradictions in the bible then that would be grounds to dismiss the whole thing – because flaws are human, and the bible is the Word of God – God doesn’t make mistakes…
So if there were flaws then that would make the bible just another human authored document, no more valid than any other…
Of course I was bold in that belief because I knew it was impossible – and I was proud of it.

I was never happy in my belief though, I just thought there was no other truth, and I didn’t want to end up in hell for eternity, so I had to submit.

Christianity was a fit to my insular personality too, and going through adolescence it kept me isolated from ‘the world’ – soemthing I’m still having to reprogram myself from, with counselling.
The best way to avoid sex, drugs and drink was to just cut myself off from everyone. Be in the world but not of it.

Yet at the same time the basic indoctrinations made me feel unworthy to hang around with other christians of my age, because I knew my secret ‘shame’.
I knew I was a guilty, worthless, disobedient, piece of filth, fit to burn in hell forever, if I died right then.

Why?
…because I couldn’t help thinking about girls. Sex!
I was evil!
I tried to not think about it, but of course that is impossible.
Asking a teenage boy to not think about girls is like asking a hungry man not to think about food.
Can we resist our natural desire to breathe? or eat? No, it’s inbuilt…

Yet here is the diabolical genius of religion. Find something people can’t do without and bring it under the authority of God.
So sex is forbidden outside of marriage – and who has the authority to marry people? The church… (at least, back in the day…)

It doesn’t seem like much, except if there’s nothing else in your life.

A newsletter I subscribe to had this insightful quote:

Carl Jung pointed out that the principal product of religion is guilt and despair. Despair over this life, despair over our thoughts, despair over our desires, despair over our actions. Dr. Jung states that as we dwell on this despair we drive ourselves into repression in an effort to control our thoughts and desires. This repression then leads to depression, which fosters disease.

It was a disease of the mind.

When the Roman Empire was threatened with anarchy and being overtaken by barbarians they realised they couldn’t maintain their power over people by force of arms any more – they needed to preserve their power more ingeniously.
So Constantine united all the disparate religions under the banner of Christianity – and the Roman Empire eventually became the Roman Church. So that by the time the Barbarians overwhelmed the physical Roman Empire, those Barbarians themselves were already being christianised…

Rome’s power was still in place, the same elite bloodlines as Popes rather than Emperor’s.
The pantheon of god’s now the Saints.
Now the people would follow Rome's authority by their own programmed guilt - Fear of God rather than fear of man…

An in-built Centurion.
Their own minds turned against them as a means of remote control.

But I didn’t figure that out until later.
Back to the story…


One day I was curious as to what arguments the Jews had for rejecting Jesus, after all, isn’t he the fulfilment of their bible too…?
So I boldly stumbled onto the internet looking for answers.
I found a lot of info from Jewish websites that was anti-christian, especially pointing out flaws and contradictions in the gospel story.

“Ha, let me check that out… you just need to … Hmmm, really?
It does say that in the bible? Whoah!”

It seemed that imposible key I spoke of really did exist!

I wasn’t about to turn Jewish, but nevertheless it was a real ‘Matrix moment’.

That waking up to an alien reality.

Discovering the whole world, and life as you’ve known it, is so vastly different than what you’ve been indoctrinated to believe since the day you were born – and in rapid succession all your beliefs are shattered.
It was also absolutley liberating, exciting, mind blowing, yet with the dawning in my mind of how I’d lived my life so, so, wrongly.

It was horrific to finally ‘get’ the trap I’d been in, but joyous to realise the freedom now open to me.


I still had fears about daemons and deception though, what if I was being led astray by a daemon desperate to claim my soul?

Yet I had also begun reading magazines like Nexus and New Dawn.
In one issue of Nexus was an article about the ‘real matrix’ by some dude called David Wilcock…
Yesss!

I was drawn to his website and intrigued. I saw he had online books to read, “The Shift of the Ages”, but hmmm, it’s got chanelled material… How does he prove that’s not just daemons feeding the author lines?
I read it anyway – warily, seeking explanation.

I was impressed with the fact that one of the girls who channeled the Law of One was a christian and, as the bible says to do, ‘tested the spirits’ before a session. Even daemons can’t resist the power of the name of Jesus, so I believed, yet here they were happily continuing their sessions after such a test…
Hmmm, wow…


I was just as interested in the science though.
Through David’s brilliant explanations and ingenious assembly of evidence I started to see a wider spectrum of spirituality, that it’s not just God vs Devil, Good vs Evil, Daemons vs Angels, Black vs White, “You’re either with us or against us!”
…but that there are many densities, many levels and dimensions.
That spirtual entities can also be as honest or as deceptive as humans.

There is no daemon more evil than what a human is capable of. There is no angel more merciful than what a human is capable of.
We, humans and spirits, are all just the same, just some have bodies, some don’t.
It’s our level of awareness that makes the real difference.

That, most of all, I could be scientifically confident - that there really is no such thing as an eternal Hell!

That is liberation folks.

I’m laughing tears of joy right now just thinking of those moments.
I’ve never felt so spiritually alive and free than reading those books.
Thankyou David, I will remember it forever.


Anwyay,
despite my attempts to share this with my christian family, thinking they were as honest as me and if shown the light would come with me on a joyous journey of freedom… I was threatened with being cut off, that I was speaking with the tongues of daemons(!) and trying to drag my own family to hell!
That my father would cease all communication with me, because my words were really that of the devil, who he is duty bound to reject…


If I hadn’t forced further communication with them, maybe I really would be cut off by now?
I do get along with my family - by simply not mentioning religion, unless we all want to get into a yelling match (it may start out polite and such, but, inevitably…)


It pains me though,
because I know they suffer.

My mother even in tears many times - because they truly believe their son is destined for an eternity in a lake of fire. I hate that the mind of such a loving person has been tortured that way. I wish they could understand what I do.


Somehow they don’t question how unfair and ridiculous hell is (I don’t even understand how I never did either. I guess I was more caught up in defending such things as part of the larger gospel framework than actually picking it apart), but…


If I am deceived, at least I am honestly deceived.
I don’t believe I deserve punishment for that.

...and shouldn’t any ‘punishment’ go to the deceiver, not the honestly deceived?

In other words, bible god’s sense of justice is seriously skewed. To the point I cannot accept it – even if it turns out to be the horrific truth.
The all-knowing one will just have to listen to my martyred screams of protest in hell for eternity…
Of course that horrible scenario is absurd…

I am earnest in my spiritual quest.
I am open to others and want to understand everything.

Yet still I struggle.
There are still issues of personal negativity for me to deal with – I want to be open about it though.
Maybe there are similar minds on this forum?

My own mind is in two places:

- absorbing, processing, claiming and sharing all the knowledge and higher spiritual wisdom that is now open to me - and this Camelot/Avalon community is the most magical place for that…

– yet having also to deal with the default mental programming I have had indelibly imprinted on my mind since birth, which has to be battled with every thought.


People here seem so open and free with their spiritual insights.
It’s great, and I’m in jealous admiration of that, because it’s not as easy to be so light for some.

I’m a deep thinker, so I can get pretty heavy, and may seem negative, or indignant – but really I’m just searching for truth like everyone else. I’m searching for ultimate fairness that I know must exist.


Reading some beautiful spiritual wisdom on a thread here, or a site there, I have in the back of mind, “Oh, I know what a christian would say about this…” which is really the negativity of what ‘my old-self’ would’ve said…

It hinders my development, because everything is not just absorbed in it’s purest form, it has to battle past the outdated filters in my mind.
Yes, it takes it’s rightful place in my mind eventually, but somehow the experience has been tainted.


So with such constant inner struggle I now battle depression, but I try to do it without medication.
I don’t want to just block things out as the solution. I want to solve it.


I have instinctive reactions against even the words ‘Jesus’, or ‘Bible’ or any other of those Christiany things, especially if it’s being presented as some kind of positive… because I know that ultimately christianity, the bible, etc. is anything but positive.
Sure it works fine for some, but it’s not a one size fits all.
Of course nothing is, that’s the point.

I know this is an extreme statement, but I think that all of the love that is promoted by deluded christians everywhere (yes, of which I was one) is a flawed kind of love.

It’s true foundation is Fear.

The love and ‘mercy’ chrisitans feel is only because they are so grateful for being ‘saved’, and feel they owe god so much
– but ‘saved’ from what?

I call this “One-eyed Christianity”.

Most evangelical types only pay attention to the fluffy, lovey parts of the bible and ignore the hellfire and damnation parts.
That’s understandable, it works for them and they’re happy – great – who can be against that?
Not me.

I would never criticise their chosen way of life – If only they weren’t charged by their holy book with spreading such fear based philosophy to others (I can’t stand the thought of some innocent person, especially a growing child, being hooked into the burden of guilt and fear I experienced in christianity when I know I have the power to explode those myths).


Ultimately, there is an absolute dark side to the bible and that is, as most people know, Hell, and the God who invented it.
Eternal, with no escape.

I finally woke up to the fact that even if such a thing is real, I still am duty bound to reject the concept on principle, and I can not worship a god who sustains such a thing.
Not when there are so many better alternatives for eternity, that a truly omnipotent, loving, merciful god could have set up - my favourite example being Reincarnation (even ignoring which system is true or not, just the concept of reincarnation is better than the concept of eternal hell – and if all knowing god was in heaven deciding how best to save all his beloved creations then why the hell would he settle for eternal hell…?)


Even the love and charity shown by christianity to others is really because they are commanded by the bible.
If the bible commands them to be hateful then they are hateful too. That is evident throughout history.
Gays know it, people wanting the benefits of stem cell research knew it, and so on…


If individual christians stay in such things as their own gratitude and love for their god then they will experience the benefits of those, for sure, but really, for someone who is a deep thinker, a deep questioner like myself, then it will inevitably be seen that such love is Counterfeit.

A counterfeit can be spent like the real thing, but is ultimately nothing.


I see christianity now for what it is - a tool of control, as dark as any the Illuminati has ever created.

Not just controlling lives but destroying the sanity of those who can’t simply have ‘faith’ in it’s vengeful brooding god, but are yet indoctrinated with it’s dogma.
It’s called Cognitive Dissonance, and it’s insanity, schizophrenia, you name it.

Talk about MK-Ultra,
Christianity is the greatest mass mind manipulation tool in history – it turns one’s own mind into an enemy – as if your own natural thoughts and instincts are the malevolent whispers of a slavering daemon.

That the only escape is to turn to that other imaginary fiend – Jesus – bow, beg, humble yourself, humiliate yourself, prove your submission and admit your powerlessness and worthlessness – and he will save you (or else).

There is no horror movie that has anything worse than the supernatural horrors born out of the bible.

There is no humiliation more soul destroying than to be told you are worthless and then forced to agree.
It’s the same level of horror you read about in Illuminati mind control stories, like Svali, etc.

I’m sorry to forum posters who have felt my opposition personally.
I get suspicious of those who are proud to be christian, because I know the insidious way christianity instructs it’s followers to spread the ‘good news’.

Really it is a Virus, immune to logic, befriending and attaching to any target in reach, insinuating into any group by any means, then gradually attempting to morph the target into it’s likeness.

It’s ignorant followers don’t even see anything dark in what they are doing – they may even feel genuine compassion for those they are trying to ‘save’ – yet they can’t see that, “Why should we need saving?”

What kind of god are they serving that would demand worship or cast you into eternal torture, just for the crime of being born?!



"This book filled the darkness with ghouls and ghosts, and the bodies of men and women with devils. This book polluted the souls of men with the infamous dogma of eternal pain. This book made credulity the greatest of virtues, and investigation the greatest of crimes. This book filled nations with hermits, monks and nuns - with the pious and the useless. This book placed the ignorant and unclean saint above the philosopher and philanthropist. This book taught man to despise the joys of this life, that he might be happy in another - to waste this world for the sake of the next.
I attack this book because it is the enemy of human liberty - the greatest obstruction across the highway of human progress.
Let me ask the ministers one question: How can you be wicked enough to defend this book?"

- R. G. Ingersoll, from 'About the Holy Bible'.


I still find myself breathing heavily, if not in tears, after reading that quote, because it hits so close to my experience, and I’m sure that of many others.

I find George Carlin’s take a helpful relief though, and hilarious:
Religion is Bullsh*t

Hebrews 9:22
“There can be no forgiveness without bloodshed.”

Hmmm, yeah, I disgree on that one.


I have one last take on christianity:

At one point I started to wonder, what if chrisitanity is all a test, but not the one presented by the bible?

If you were God, eternal, unchangeable, invincible, none could harm you even if they tried, and then deciding who would be your eternal companions in heaven… who would you respect more?

- Those who cower at your displays of aggression and bloodshed and kiss your feet and praise you for it?

- or those who see the brutality, the ego, the delusion and senselessness – and have the courage to stand against it, stand up to proclaim from their heart that there must be a better way.
To not surrender their sovereign soul to bully tactics.
To live true freedom, rather than become yet another humiliated servant of a god obsessed with blood and death...

Maybe those are the kind more worthy?



To anyone in a similar situation to mine I can recommend these sites:
Exchristian.net
- Most of the Ex-C’s there are happily materialist atheist’s, defensively so (as christian trolls soon find out), but really very nice.
The ex-timonies there give good insight into what it’s like to be in christianity to those freer souls who’ve never grown up in it's insidious grasp.

I’m not a materialist atheist myself, but reading those arguments keeps me honest.

That’s why I am so impressed with this next site:
Rational Spirituality
“Evidence not Faith”…
Not new-agey, but with the best big-picture evidence for things like reincarnation, etc.

Anyway,
enough for now.

Thanks for reading if you made it all the way through.

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Old 12-14-2009, 09:40 AM   #2
Zeddo
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Default Re: Ex-Christian

Hi there 100th Monkey

Brilliant post, I felt every word as I share so much of what you are saying. I will save a reply worthy of this post for later but want to share a song that I would normally have posted in "A musical Interlude"/ Sit back, relax and enjoy. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbZn_Z5s-yA

LL&P

Zeddo
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Old 12-14-2009, 01:27 PM   #3
beren
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Default Re: Ex-Christian

What kind of god are they serving that would demand worship or cast you into eternal torture, just for the crime of being born?!



"This book filled the darkness with ghouls and ghosts, and the bodies of men and women with devils. This book polluted the souls of men with the infamous dogma of eternal pain. This book made credulity the greatest of virtues, and investigation the greatest of crimes. This book filled nations with hermits, monks and nuns - with the pious and the useless. This book placed the ignorant and unclean saint above the philosopher and philanthropist. This book taught man to despise the joys of this life, that he might be happy in another - to waste this world for the sake of the next.
I attack this book because it is the enemy of human liberty - the greatest obstruction across the highway of human progress.
Let me ask the ministers one question: How can you be wicked enough to defend this book?"

- R. G. Ingersoll, from 'About the Holy Bible'.



Hello, I copied this I here ´s my responce.

I understand your post , I can sympathesize with you since I have been through all that you wrote, until I relized that words spoken by Jesus and also you can find them by Paul in Romans.

I will say them on my way, namely many, many people who think, claim and are proud of being Christians are as far of Christianity as light is far from darkness.

Actually the worship Satan and 99.9% are not aware of that.

Bible is the wrod of God and it is not a religion.
God did not made a religion, man did.

God does not need a religion, does not need any church or type or worshiping on this planet.

He as Creator of everything does not need anything. He is self sufficient. But he loves, and that iswhy he wishes his children to learn about him and to be as him.
It is a path. It is not a religion, again MAN turned that into religion.
Why?
Control of masses and their time, weatlh and souls.
The perfect way of doing that is religion,especially cloaked as being of God and his son Jesus Christ.

That way people will not suspect the real reason behind.

God warned us to that.

It is all over in his word, stories about that.
Jesus was also many times very controversial, why?
To shed off non thinking people of following him and using his help for their pleasure, selfish things such as following him to be fed and nurtured with nice stories(by their opinion). He kicked them off.

No one can cheat God. But people do try that. They thing by saying they are Christian they are one with God.
Wrong.
Jesus also said when he returns ,will hefind faith on earth, meaning people who are true.

It is not an easy thing being honest and genuine but it is the only ways towards knowing Creator and his wisdom and whatever he do.

Also Jews hated and killed Jesus because he actually enlighted their darkness of lies power freaks and utter controll. They claimed that they worshipped God , but they were actually Satan worshipers. They borrowed their ideas from Babylon and placed it in Talmud. That is what they did.

Also Constantine did the perfect thing for him but Chrisians who accepted what he proposed actually sold their souls to this world.

Utter control in the name of Jesus is the most powerful thing doen in this world so far to deceive people.

Jesus Christ and his own words are writen in the Bible. They are sheer and crystal clear.Why do people turn them around? They wish so because of their lack of honesty and fairness. They avoid the truth as it is so the sugar coat it for their own liking.

Sure you can do that but that will not change truth and you will be exposed a liar.
That is exactly the thing reliogion did and they still do.

They are utter corrupt.
Jesus said who has eye to see- let them see, who has ear to hear- let them hear.
No more no less.

Why should he or anyone else try their best to reylly explain people some things when they do not wish that, when they like lies?
Let them live their lie, that was their choice. But every choice has its repercissions.

Many will fall in the future when thy realize that instead they followed Christ , they followed a lie. When Christ comes he will judge. Not we , not religions not clergy, not people.
He will, and no one can fool him.

The one who started all this lie eons ago , will be destroyed.
I do not wish that for any human, I am sure you do not wish that too.

If you wish I will sen you on PM my reasoning on all your troubles since I had it exactly like you my friend.

Exactly.

But Christ showed me the way, out of this world´s reasoning. The true way.
And it is up to me will I be genuine, honest, good person, wise, truth lover, a man, or I will be the total oposite.

I wish to be a man an image of Creator in all of his splendor.

Love and blessings,

Beren

P.S.

Sorry for typping mishaps...
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Old 12-14-2009, 02:06 PM   #4
100thmonkey
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Thanks Zeddo, I did enjoy that clip.
I actually also saw it performed on Letterman recently.

Beren, I appreciate your intent and you're right in a way.
I know there are disputes between what Constantine intended and what Jesus may have intended.
The 'real' Jesus may well have been a wise man, but the closest we have to his original wisdom teachings is in the Gospel of Thomas, which was barred from the bible as it was 'too Gnostic'.
'Jesus' may well have been a gnostic himself then.
Who knows really?
Funnily enough another Thomas, - Jefferson, also created his own version of the gospel by literally cutting out with scissors all the supernatural elements from the four existing gospels.
Interestingly, what he was left with was surprisingly similar to the old Gospel of Thomas.

Yet, basically, if whatever 'true' christianity your proposing boils down to something that includes an eternal hell, or similar fate, I'm just not into it.
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Old 12-14-2009, 02:33 PM   #5
beren
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 100thmonkey View Post
Thanks Zeddo, I did enjoy that clip.
I actually also saw it performed on Letterman recently.

Beren, I appreciate your intent and you're right in a way.
I know there are disputes between what Constantine intended and what Jesus may have intended.
The 'real' Jesus may well have been a wise man, but the closest we have to his original wisdom teachings is in the Gospel of Thomas, which was barred from the bible as it was 'too Gnostic'.
'Jesus' may well have been a gnostic himself then.
Who knows really?

Yet, basically, if whatever 'true' christianity your proposing boils down to something that includes an eternal hell, or similar fate, I'm just not into it.

I am not proposing hell, that ´s for sure!
If you read the context of hell when spoken in Bible you will not see Hell as it is today spoken. Hell is borrowed idea from pagan cults and mostly from Babylon pantheist religions.

When you cross reference Bible you will not find that God made hell or that he tortures people there. Hell does not exist.
It exist in fear based minds of many people.

When Bible said that someone goes to hell or gehenna or similar it simply means that that person stops existing.

It happened of many mistranslations deliberately placed there by Vatican in order to lead astray people from truth.

People ,often do not think, they are on autopilot in their life and hence they do not notice when slight change is there. That slight change eventually leads to bonds of slavery and fear which was not God´s intentions at all.

Jesus said know the truth and it will set you free.
Free from slavery.
That is why they killed him because people saw that what they were was in prison, invisible but terrible prison and they wanted out! Religious leaders freaked out of loosing controll of the grid and they killed him.

That was happening all the way and is happening today whenever a person wishes the real truth.

On the hell again;
Creator is the most powerful in the whole universe since he created it.
Why would he need to put somebody in a place where they will forever be tormented?
Why he would enjoy that, when he can simply erase the person without any pain?

Satan ,on the other hand IS enjoying that since he created hell idea and passed it on ignorants.

Also where is written in revelation that Satan will be put in hell and forever tormented is just a symbol that he will be utterly destroyed without a chance to live again, he who brought pain and death and deceit into universe. Example of his final defeat will be a banner for all to see and learn from it.
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Old 12-14-2009, 02:40 PM   #6
THE eXchanger
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what a brilliant story,
thank you for sharing it

love/susan
the eXchanger
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Old 12-15-2009, 02:48 PM   #7
100thmonkey
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eXchanger View Post
what a brilliant story,
thank you for sharing it

love/susan
the eXchanger
Thanks susan.
We must have made a connection once before too. I've been away from the forum since the pay-subscription thing, but now I'm back I think you're the only one on my friend list who is still active.


Beren,
yes that sounds like the Mormon perspective I think...?
It's not something that would get me back in to christianity though. If there's no hell then there's no need to be saved, so no need for Jesus 'sacrifice'.
My KJV only brother has argued with Mormon's and found their arguments convincing, but has still stated to me that if he didn't believe in hell he'd simply commit suicide and get this struggle of life over with...


Yet to me, Annihiliation is still a degrading concept, and something that most people would find offensive (without mental conditioning).

It's part of the, "He is the potter, we are the clay", basis of christianity - which makes human souls, and human experience, no more valuable than dirt, and God no more than an ethnic-cleansing tyrant.

(Which is also based on the Egyptian creator god Khnum, who created men from the mud of the Nile and fashioned them on his potter's wheel before breathing the breath of life into them... sound familiar?)

Being an eternal soul, one who is as capable of saying 'I AM' as any other being in the universe, I value my experience higher than that - so have sought higher explanations for existence than mere holy hostage.


I've already found evidence for reincarnation (check my sig), which is now grounds for all manner of other research into our existence.

So for me the bible is really irrelevant, except as a 'version' of history/mythology, and modern research is constantly proving it wrong in that field too.


Basically I think we are all a part of God.
She spun us off from herself, into the ignorance of flesh, in order to experience what her all-knowing mind couldn't.

Ignorance breeds suffering.

Suffering breeds questioning.

Questioning leads to answers.

Answers lead to awareness.

Awareness leads to returning to oneness with the Creator.
(Hey, we need a Yoda smiley here.)

So, we are spiritual yo-yo's who's purpose is simply to experience. Only flung down with the knowledge we will inevitably return - with great tales of wonder from our journey.

The one who spun us down would gain no benefit from cutting off our string before we came back.
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Old 12-15-2009, 03:31 PM   #8
beren
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 100thmonkey View Post
Thanks susan.
We must have made a connection once before too. I've been away from the forum since the pay-subscription thing, but now I'm back I think you're the only one on my friend list who is still active.


Beren,
yes that sounds like the Mormon perspective I think...?
It's not something that would get me back in to christianity though. If there's no hell then there's no need to be saved, so no need for Jesus 'sacrifice'.
My KJV only brother has argued with Mormon's and found their arguments convincing, but has still stated to me that if he didn't believe in hell he'd simply commit suicide and get this struggle of life over with...


Yet to me, Annihiliation is still a degrading concept, and something that most people would find offensive (without mental conditioning).

It's part of the, "He is the potter, we are the clay", basis of christianity - which makes human souls, and human experience, no more valuable than dirt, and God no more than an ethnic-cleansing tyrant.

(Which is also based on the Egyptian creator god Khnum, who created men from the mud of the Nile and fashioned them on his potter's wheel before breathing the breath of life into them... sound familiar?)

Being an eternal soul, one who is as capable of saying 'I AM' as any other being in the universe, I value my experience higher than that - so have sought higher explanations for existence than mere holy hostage.


I've already found evidence for reincarnation (check my sig), which is now grounds for all manner of other research into our existence.

So for me the bible is really irrelevant, except as a 'version' of history/mythology, and modern research is constantly proving it wrong in that field too.


Basically I think we are all a part of God.
She spun us off from herself, into the ignorance of flesh, in order to experience what her all-knowing mind couldn't.

Ignorance breeds suffering.

Suffering breeds questioning.

Questioning leads to answers.

Answers lead to awareness.

Awareness leads to returning to oneness with the Creator.
(Hey, we need a Yoda smiley here.)

So, we are spiritual yo-yo's who's purpose is simply to experience. Only flung down with the knowledge we will inevitably return - with great tales of wonder from our journey.

The one who spun us down would gain no benefit from cutting off our string before we came back.

I am not familiar with Mormons. But anyways I respect your writing above.
I do not agree with you but everyone has a free will to live, explore and do things.
After all ,everything that we know today is just partial.
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Old 12-15-2009, 03:46 PM   #9
Céline
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Your story was truly passionate and very enlightening...thank you for sharing with us.


my two cents...



Supposedly..Being the bearer of....original sin...

i find myself completely rejecting any written word about God..

Life...is NEVER a sin....Love is NEVER wrong....


All written word about God seems unbalanced to me...





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Old 12-15-2009, 05:56 PM   #10
kriya
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Originally Posted by 100thmonkey View Post

The 'real' Jesus may well have been a wise man, but the closest we have to his original wisdom teachings is in the Gospel of Thomas, which was barred from the bible as it was 'too Gnostic'.
'Jesus' may well have been a gnostic himself then.
I believe this statement to be correct. If you want to find the original teachings of Jesus its in the Gospel of Thomas:

" Jesus said: Be passers by" and "Jesus said: Look to the One who lives while you are living. Once you are dead, you will seek to see Him without achieving this Vision".

I think Jesus meditated a great deal: The first statement means don't get involved in the dramas of life be even minded. The second refers to finding God in meditation because if you don't find him in life you won't find him in death either because your state of consciousness is not higher enough.

100th Monkey, I'm sorry you have had such a hard time with religion - religion is a false construct and a distortion of true spirituality, used to control the masses - Marx wasn't wrong when he said religion is the opiate of the people.

I have the opposite problem to you, my whole family are atheists and although I don't regard myself as religious I am deeply spiritual. I have learnt to get along with them because I have no choice and I love them. So I keep that part of me hidden from them, it's easier that way.

I think life is just one big comedy drama

Love,

Kriya
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Old 12-15-2009, 06:09 PM   #11
14 Chakras
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I'm with you Kriya,

Don't throw out the baby with the bathwater as they say ~

Religion has been used to control the masses (realistically, the masses were not ready for Truth throughout the ages, because Truth involves accepting responsibility ~ and who wanted to do that?)

The teachings of Jesus, which are truly empowering teachings ~ You can do the works that I do only greater works than these you can do ~ I Am not the doer, for I let the Father within do the work ~ You too can count on the "Father"/ Consciousness within to provide for all your needs here and Now ~ Why worry? How much has this ever added to anyones life? ~ Kingdom of Heaven is INSIDE of you ~ Truth will set you free


Jesus message empowered the people to connect to the Divine within themselves rather than through a church, which is why the Jewish elite of the day riled up the people against him and had him put to death.

Once a man is no longer here, it is very easy to use their memory to represent a cause that they did not create nor support. Modern day Christianity preaches the outer path to salvation, dis-empowering the people rather than empowering them. Jesus is not the savior ~ Christ consciousness is the savior and it is within us not outside of us.

~ Let this mind BE in you that also was in Christ Jesus ~ Universal Christ mind ~ Christ consciousness
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Old 12-15-2009, 06:11 PM   #12
no caste
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Céline View Post
Supposedly..Being the bearer of....original sin...
i find myself completely rejecting any written word about God..
Life...is NEVER a sin....
Céline - EVE WAS FRAMED

That was the only thing I ever spray painted (graffiti!) in the day, with a friend from Montreal.

Damn, it felt good It ran about 50 feet with 4 foot letters - 2 full cans.

Last edited by no caste; 12-16-2009 at 12:34 AM.
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Old 12-15-2009, 11:28 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by beren View Post
[COLOR="Red"]What kind of god are they serving that would demand worship or cast you into eternal torture, just for the crime of being born?!

[snipped]
This is not an off the top of my head response. After exposure to ETs and analytical and subjective approaches, my current "truth" is that the Old Testament Yahweh or Jehovah exhibits Reptilian philosophy of rulership.

The Jesus teachings that were not exorcised or changed in translation are from a different approach -- Messianic/Buddhic. If I recall my dates correctly, Buddhism was flourishing in the East and I see no reason for Jesus to not have been influenced by Buddha's humble and egalitarian approach.

However much I like and respect a being who is currently more evolved than I am, I always understand that there are no beings except the Unpotentiated Potential that we all are -- there are no beings that are not stuck in some traumatic incident.

I would be doing a disfavor to those more evolved beings if I did not respect that too, and any evolved being will be glad to tell you that he too is still ascending. It was wonderful that these beings told us that we too could ascend if we do the same work they did -- they gave us an idea and some tools that worked for them. No truly evolved being would prevent you from keeping your own counsel and upholding your own integrity.

I would say look to the tools they offer -- are they workable for you?
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Old 12-15-2009, 11:35 PM   #14
mntruthseeker
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I too had a hard time adjusting to all of this religion as I was raised catholic myself. My family thinks I'm possessed but right now I really don't care. I care more about the way they will feel if and when they discover the truth behind the vatican. Way too many arguments that I care to elaborate on as I have moved on.

I hope that they will think of me to help them through all of this if I'm still available for them.

We are talking now which is a plus but it never around religion.

Actually it made us who we are today and for that I have to thank someone. We grew up with morals and that is the only thing I can say was good out of all of this.

Thank you for sharing and I hope you got relief by throwing all of it out here to share.

I dont call myself an Ex-Christian as I believe that Jesus, what ever his real name was, truly helped us in many ways.

All I did was throw out the religion and kept my faith.
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Old 12-15-2009, 11:35 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by 14 Chakras View Post
I'm with you Kriya,

Don't throw out the baby with the bathwater as they say ~

Religion has been used to control the masses (realistically, the masses were not ready for Truth throughout the ages, because Truth involves accepting responsibility ~ and who wanted to do that?)

The teachings of Jesus, which are truly empowering teachings ~ You can do the works that I do only greater works than these you can do ~ I Am not the doer, for I let the Father within do the work ~ You too can count on the "Father"/ Consciousness within to provide for all your needs here and Now ~ Why worry? How much has this ever added to anyones life? ~ Kingdom of Heaven is INSIDE of you ~ Truth will set you free

Jesus message empowered the people to connect to the Divine within themselves rather than through a church, which is why the Jewish elite of the day riled up the people against him and had him put to death.

Once a man is no longer here, it is very easy to use their memory to represent a cause that they did not create nor support. Modern day Christianity preaches the outer path to salvation, dis-empowering the people rather than empowering them. Jesus is not the savior ~ Christ consciousness is the savior and it is within us not outside of us.

~ Let this mind BE in you that also was in Christ Jesus ~ Universal Christ mind ~ Christ consciousness
Do you see a fixed polarity at war with itself here? I'm starting to see it. One looks like the negative side of the pole and the other looks like the positive side of the pole, but a stuckness to either side is a see-saw ride.

The person who can bring more peace is the one who can within themselves unfix that polarity. There are tools to help one do that.

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Old 12-16-2009, 06:41 AM   #16
100thmonkey
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Thanks to all those who have replied, especially those sharing their similar experiences.

I may not be able to reply as much over the coming holidays as I'll be at my parents house for Ex-mas, etc. although I may be able to use their computer...
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Old 12-16-2009, 06:04 PM   #17
whiterose
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I too used to be a Christian. Without going into a lot of detail, lets say that I have been awakened, seeing that all religions are a construct of the Illuminati, as a method of control, and that the vast majority of people are fooled into thinking that what they are doing is pleasing to 'God' whoever that may be for that indvidual.

This was a very rude awakening for me, and for quite a while I floundered, feeling as if what I had seen as solid ground had been cut from under me. I'm still coming to terms with this and still floundering a bit, but I do believe that there is something, a Source, or Creator, but other than that I'm still trying to work everything else out. That's why I'm here on this forum!
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Old 12-16-2009, 06:08 PM   #18
THE eXchanger
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Quote:
Originally Posted by no caste View Post
Céline - EVE WAS FRAMED

.
nope, she had ABLE with adam
and, Cain, with CAN (from venus)
WHY DO YOU THINK HE WAS NAMED CA-i-N
thus enter, the serpertine dna strand to earth
(that ironically, isn't always evil)
there is a lot to learn from the 9th density venusian masters of light
(there temples, still eXist)
except NOT to 3D eyes
(unable to see them) !!!
it is quite a story, to be told !!!
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Old 12-16-2009, 06:40 PM   #19
New Age Messiah
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Quote:
Originally Posted by no caste View Post
Céline - EVE WAS FRAMED
http://www.wicca-spirituality.com/goddess-symbols.html

The apple has long been associated with the worship of the Goddess.

Note the story of Eve and the Serpent (one of the eternal Goddess symbols). When Eve ate the apple, she was taking in Divine wisdom - the knowledge that she is Divine. Thus she would become immortal.

The apple seems to have always been associated with death and eternal life.

Walker writes,

"Graves [in Greek Myths, vol. 2] points out that the whole story of Eve, Adam, and the serpent in the tree was deliberately misinterpreted from icons showing the Great Goddess offering life to her worshipper, in the form of an apple, with the tree and its serpent [the sacred guardian] in the background." (Barbara Walker, The Woman's Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets, p 49.)

Naturally a jealous God - who wants to be the only god - would outlaw such knowledge of one's divinity! But since it is Truth, He couldn't keep it hidden forever. So when it came out, He decided to keep us so busy with survival and pain that we wouldn't have time to notice our divinity.

It worked pretty well!

Luckily the Goddess is more compassionate, and not threatened by others being empowered. She gave us plenty of hints along the way, to remember.

One of these is the apple. Cut in half, its seed bed - the most potent part of the fruit - reveals the sacred 5-pointed star within the circle of apple skin.

This is the pentacle - the expression of One Divinity as all facets of the world.
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Old 12-16-2009, 07:59 PM   #20
Steven
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whiterose View Post
I too used to be a Christian. Without going into a lot of detail, lets say that I have been awakened, seeing that all religions are a construct of the Illuminati, as a method of control, and that the vast majority of people are fooled into thinking that what they are doing is pleasing to 'God' whoever that may be for that indvidual.

This was a very rude awakening for me, and for quite a while I floundered, feeling as if what I had seen as solid ground had been cut from under me. I'm still coming to terms with this and still floundering a bit, but I do believe that there is something, a Source, or Creator, but other than that I'm still trying to work everything else out. That's why I'm here on this forum!
Hello Whiterose. I perfectly understand you. It makes me think about what my mother lived a couple years ago when I sat with her 'to talk'. She knew that what I was telling her was right, but it was a complete paradigm that was going down. Gladly, it did not last long. Since then, we are much more closer and enjoy long conversation.

Creator is indeed very present. Just the fact that we exist, the fact that there is a Creation, a Universe, is proof enough for me to know that there is a loving grand spirit who sustain it all in existance.

Namaste, Steven
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Old 12-16-2009, 10:23 PM   #21
tintagelcave
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Hi ex-christian, I understand your initial experiences very well, of freeing yourself of the guilt and shame prison-system of the church. My father was a preacher and we, 9 children and my mother, sat on the front row in the church. I felt we had to be examples for the whole community and all eyes were upon us/me. I learned to be able to hold myself upright amidst of that!
With fast pounding heart and poise.
At the same time, I had to live with the realisation that my father was a completely different person "on stage" as a preacher, than the person he was at home. So, from a very young age I knew that people were not always what they showed on the outside. And at the same time I was like most children are, you tend to keep the peace, to not be cast out, so you play the game as it's expected of you. Isn't that a weird combination of survival and denial, with eyes closed?
Later on in life I learned to trust my intuition and to live without the "all seeing eyes of God". When my mother passed on, I noticed her uncertainty and fear of not going to heaven. That was a huge wake up call for me, because I had expected that she was confident in going to God.
So, in the last days of her life I felt like she was a child and I her mother, in a strange sort of way. It helped a lot to be able to place myself outside of her authority. It seems like becoming free of that shame and guilt pattern of the church, is going in steps throughout my life, working on still deeper levels of my soul. At the same time I learn to leave my brothers and sisters in their belief system/church. It's such a rooted part for them, very much in black and white: you are the devil when you talk about that part, luring them away from their safe haven. It's their fear, so you don't have to expose yourself to that, voluntarily. Loosing the church and your family is quite devastating, don't you think? Enjoy your freedom and take care!
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Old 12-16-2009, 11:01 PM   #22
Gevaudan
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Default Re: Ex-Christian

Just wanted to share this link with everyone: http://www.thevesselofgod.com/thefirsteden.html

Once on this page, you can alter the link in the address bar to get to the main page of writings, or click here: http://www.thevesselofgod.com/home.html

Since you guys mentioned the pentagram within the apple and Cain, I thought this would be an interesting read for all of you.

Boyd Rice is the author of these papers. While I do not agree with everything he says, I do agree with a lot of it. Namely the 'gods' who are quoted as saying "look the man has become as one of us" being the remnants of an antediluvian race on this planet, emerging to play the bipolar god of the old testament. Hope you enjoy!

Peace

G
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Old 12-16-2009, 11:19 PM   #23
Fredkc
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A simple caution:

In our haste, we often become "cargo cults" to what we reject. Play passed it.

I'll leave the rest to time.

Fred
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Old 12-17-2009, 01:34 AM   #24
RedeZra
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I believe Hell is a bit of a scare tactic to induce people to behave

but it is not working


whether or not there is a Hell

I believe only the rotten will find out


what about Purgatory

the place of cleansing

before entering Heaven

well we will have to wait to find out


I believe the life we live on Earth will decide what we deserve

in Death and in Life again


for there is a Supervisor

from whom no secrets are untold

from whom nothing escapes


for whom every heart is home
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Old 12-17-2009, 04:02 AM   #25
Unified Serenity
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Default Re: Ex-Christian

Quote:
Originally Posted by New Age Messiah View Post
http://www.wicca-spirituality.com/goddess-symbols.html

The apple has long been associated with the worship of the Goddess.

Note the story of Eve and the Serpent (one of the eternal Goddess symbols). When Eve ate the apple, she was taking in Divine wisdom - the knowledge that she is Divine. Thus she would become immortal.

The apple seems to have always been associated with death and eternal life.

Walker writes,

"Graves [in Greek Myths, vol. 2] points out that the whole story of Eve, Adam, and the serpent in the tree was deliberately misinterpreted from icons showing the Great Goddess offering life to her worshipper, in the form of an apple, with the tree and its serpent [the sacred guardian] in the background." (Barbara Walker, The Woman's Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets, p 49.)

Naturally a jealous God - who wants to be the only god - would outlaw such knowledge of one's divinity! But since it is Truth, He couldn't keep it hidden forever. So when it came out, He decided to keep us so busy with survival and pain that we wouldn't have time to notice our divinity.

It worked pretty well!

Luckily the Goddess is more compassionate, and not threatened by others being empowered. She gave us plenty of hints along the way, to remember.

One of these is the apple. Cut in half, its seed bed - the most potent part of the fruit - reveals the sacred 5-pointed star within the circle of apple skin.

This is the pentacle - the expression of One Divinity as all facets of the world.
No where in the bible does it say anything about Eve eating an apple. More than likely the fruit if it was 3d was a fig, after all they put on fig leaves, but that's just a guess.

I frankly believe Eve had sex with Lucifer and got pregnant with Cain who represents his father. Eve gave birth to twins of two different fathers. Abel who was Adam's son and Cain who was Lucifer's son. Jesus said as much when he accused the Kenites who got into the Pharisees who claimed to be of Judah (Jews) and were not. Jesus said they were of their father the devil. He said "That upon you may come all the righteous blood shed upon the earth, from the blood of righteous Abel unto the blood of Zacharias son of Barachias, whom ye slew between the temple and the altar." They were Kenites, they fulfill the negative side of prophecy (See Isaiah 53) and they are protected and all will be fulfilled. We have our choices and spiritual fruit to bear. We choose our paths ultimately and bear the responsibility of our choices. Those with eyes to see and ears to hear will understand my words.
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