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Old 09-04-2009, 11:03 PM   #176
morguana
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

i this thread cracks me up, thanks folk
bou x
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Old 09-06-2009, 09:57 PM   #177
Tango
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clw7SAJs_6w

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sG_sc...eature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0QMe...eature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYEqe...eature=related

Yep.... I know the feeling... Laughing Hard...


Tango

[hand over mouth] [Chuckle]
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Old 09-07-2009, 07:24 AM   #178
burgundia
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

2 Englishmen come to Poland. They got a room number 22 in a hotel. One afternoon they want to order tea to their room so they call Reception.
-"Two tea to room two two."
The receptionist "param pam pam param pam pam"
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Old 09-07-2009, 03:37 PM   #179
lindabaker
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Atlanta reporter goes to the country...Augusta, GA. for the day...warning...contains vulgar language.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUS6n...B1349&index=23
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Old 09-08-2009, 07:55 PM   #180
Tango
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.

And she was somewhat upset. 'You disrespectful swine!' she cried. 'How can you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'

And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute, love, so at least I can tell you what happened.' 'Go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'

And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the
car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.

I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.

So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but
don't wear because you say they are too tight.

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'

The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,

'Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use? Welll....


Tango
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Old 09-09-2009, 01:07 AM   #181
Tango
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Hand Signs....

http://www.smwa.net/downloads/funny/rake_bush4.swf


W-H-A-T.......



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Old 09-09-2009, 03:19 AM   #182
Tango
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

THE HORTH WHITHPERER

A guy calls his buddy, the horse rancher, and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse.

His buddy asks, " How will I recognize him ?"

"That's easy; he's a dwarf with a speech impediment."

So, the dwarf shows up, and the guy asks him if he's looking for a male or female horse.

"A female horth."

So he shows him a prized filly.

"Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth ?"

So, the guy picks up the dwarf and he gives the horse's eyes the once over.

"Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth ?"

So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse's ears.

"Nith earzth, can I thee her mouf ?"

The rancher is getting pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse's mouth.

"Nice mouf, can I see her twat ?"

Totally mad at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the dwarf's head up the horse's fanny, pulls him out and slams him on the ground.

The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing....

"Perhapth I should rephrase that; Can, I thee her wun awound a widdlebit ?"


Tango

Last edited by Tango; 09-09-2009 at 03:21 AM.
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Old 09-10-2009, 06:56 PM   #183
Tango
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

This reminds me of Washington D.C.; If we ask them to Explain themselves...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfmvkO5x6Ng


I remember these guyz; funny.....

Trooly,


Tango

Last edited by Tango; 09-10-2009 at 06:58 PM.
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Old 09-11-2009, 06:29 AM   #184
Brinty
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

This could well bring tears to your eyes - if you don't put your fingers in your ears.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Jytb...eature=related
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Old 09-11-2009, 01:35 PM   #185
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be




Last edited by Jnana; 09-17-2009 at 04:27 AM.
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Old 09-11-2009, 05:41 PM   #186
TheObserver
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Ok i hope this isn't too off-color (and after reading this thread i think i'll be safe):


What kind of bees give milk?



























Boo-bees
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Old 09-11-2009, 07:47 PM   #187
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

A suicidal number Zero is taught an important lesson by a wise number One.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owiplctOx84
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Old 09-11-2009, 09:03 PM   #188
THE eXchanger
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

xxxx

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Old 09-13-2009, 01:06 AM   #189
Tango
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

'Bless me Father, for I have sinned.

I have been with a loose girl'.

The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?'

'Yes, Father, it is.'

'And who was the girl you were with?'

'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation'.

"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later

so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?'

'I cannot say.'

'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'

'I'll never tell.'

'Was it Nina Capelli?'

'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'

'Was it Cathy Piriano?'

'My lips are sealed.'

'Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?'

'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'

The priest sighs in frustration.

'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that.

But you've sinned and have to atone.

You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months.

Now you go and behave yourself.'

Joey walks back to his pew,

and his friend Franco slides over and whispers,

'What'd you get?'

'Four months vacation and five good leads.'


Snicker; snort,


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Old 09-16-2009, 07:46 AM   #190
Swanny
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

1. Teaching maths in 1970

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.

His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.

What is his profit?

2. Teaching Maths In 1980

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.

His cost of production is 80% of the price.

What is his profit?

3. Teaching Maths In 1990

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.

His cost of production is £80.

How much was his profit?


4. Teaching Maths In 2000

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.

His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20.

Your assignment: Underline the number 20.


5. Teaching Maths In 2005

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and
inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habit of animals or the
preservation of our woodlands. Your assignment: Discuss how the birds
and squirrels might feel as the logger cut down their homes just for a
measly profit of £20.


6. Teaching Maths In 2009

A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be
offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the
felling licence. He is also fined a £100 as his chainsaw is in breach
of Health and Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could cut
something. He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident
however he does not have the correct certificate of competence and is
therefore considered to be a recidivist and habitual criminal. His DNA
is sampled and his details circulated throughout all government agencies.
He protests and is taken to court and fined another £100 because he is
such an easy target. When he is released he returns t o find Gypsies have
cut down half his wood to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them
off but is arrested, prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority,
imprisoned and fined a further £100. While he is in jail the Gypsies cut down the
rest of his wood and sell it on the black market for £100 cash. They also have a
leaving BBQ of squirrel and pheasant and depart leaving behind
several tonnes of rubbish and asbestos sheeting. The forester on release
is warned that failure to clear the fly tipped rubbish immediately at his
own cost is an offence. He complains and is arrested for environmental
pollution, breach of the peace and invoiced £12,000 plus VAT for safe
disposal costs by a regulated government contractor.


Your assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be
arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make £20
profit by hard work, give up, sign on to the dole and live off the state for the rest of his life?

7. Teaching Maths In 2010

A logger doesn’t sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan
to buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their money
on a derivative of securitised debt related to sub- prime mortgages in
Alabama and lost the lot with only some government money left to pay a few
million pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who made
the biggest losses.
The logger struggles to pay the £1,200 road tax on his old lorry however,
as it was built in the 1970s it no longer meets the emissions regulations
and he is forced to scrap it.
Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it
back on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send
their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and
their relatives. If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to
deport them at the governments expense. Following their holiday back home
they return to the UKwith different names and fresh girls and start again.

The logger protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist and as his name
is on the side of his old lorry he is forced to pay £1,500 registration
fees as a gang master.

The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as bonuses
are not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim
the difference on expenses and allowances.

You do the maths.

8. Teaching Maths 2017

أ المسجل تبيع حموله شاحنة من الخشب من اجل 100 دولار . صاحب تكلفة
الانت =D 8 ج
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Old 09-16-2009, 05:43 PM   #191
Tango
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

It sounds like AL.....Wink


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpeqEex6zfI&NR=1


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Old 09-17-2009, 04:06 AM   #192
Jnana
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Need some help?

Medieval Help Desk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQHX-SjgQvQ

Star Wars Help Desk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Q8DriPCX2o&NR=1

Internet Help Desk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-_51OsaaSY

Last edited by Jnana; 09-17-2009 at 04:27 AM.
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Old 09-21-2009, 08:20 PM   #193
Jnana
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

My daughter wanted to thank everyone for buying all of the girl scout cookies last year… she did well, and actually won her area for the most in sales!!!! She was proud of everyone at the company… and still talks about how daddy’s work bought all of them…

Well, it’s coming up again soon in a few months…. And she especially wants to go after those that didn’t buy last year, to see if she can sell even more… and even wanted to share this image with you all… a few months early so you can ponder your orders and SAVE for them… thanks in advance…

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Old 09-22-2009, 02:02 PM   #194
Tango
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

JU ever Hav to go to the Hardware Store... Geez, its sooo busy there...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Chc9DwDkWn0

It's " A Guy Thang "....... LOL


Snicker,



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Old 09-22-2009, 11:38 PM   #195
Tango
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Maybe we should take off our shirts; Probably get more chicks...
If we take our shirts off.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CuYD2cwMbpw&feature=fvw

Matt Damon... does M... Na I'm not go'in to tell ya.... It's too damn funny To ruin it.



Snicker; Snort,


Tango

Last edited by Tango; 09-23-2009 at 01:27 PM.
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Old 09-23-2009, 01:28 AM   #196
waitinginthewings
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Heres one that cracked me up all the way through it. Ladies you will understand what I mean

WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM
If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.

Dear Diary,
For my birthday this year, my Husband (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.

Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.

My husband seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

____________ _________ _________ __
MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!

Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines.. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!

Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around.. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week-!!

____________ _________ _________ __
TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT-!! It's a whole new life for me.

____________ _________ _________ _
WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.

Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.

My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Christo told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other **** too.

____________ _________ _________ _
THURSDAY:
******* was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late - it took me that long to tie my shoes.

He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny bitch to find me.

Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.
____________ _________ _________ ___
FRIDAY:
I hate that ******* Christo more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little aerobic instructor. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.

Christo wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the damn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.

The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

____________ _________ _________ __
SATURDAY:
Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing his voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

____________ _________ _________ __
SUNDAY:
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!
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Old 09-23-2009, 08:51 PM   #197
Swanny
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Remember if you die in debt you made a profit
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Old 09-25-2009, 03:31 AM   #198
waitinginthewings
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Geez......no one like the joke I posted......ok. I laughed all the way through it.
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Old 09-25-2009, 09:07 AM   #199
Swanny
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Nah it was cr ap
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Old 09-25-2009, 10:27 PM   #200
Tango
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

O K...... Well this one was just NUTS.....?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0A8B...eature=channel



Under The Table........? Are Brits weird Or What...

Is This REAL.....? What the F...


Tango

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