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Old 02-18-2010, 08:31 PM   #576
Freedom
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Thought this would inspire us all...
to get up and DANCE!

My hats off to them....
those who are having fun!!!






Namaste......Freedom
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Old 02-19-2010, 12:48 PM   #577
lindabaker
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

LIFE....

A short guy is sitting at a bar just staring at his drink
for half an hour when this big, trouble-making biker
steps next to him, grabs his drink, gulps it down in one
swig and then turns to the guy with a menacing
stare as if to say, 'What'cha gonna do about it?"

The poor little guy starts crying. "Come on man, I was just giving you a
hard time," the biker says. "I didn't think you'd CRY.
I can't stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," says the little guy
between sobs. "I can't do anything right. I
overslept and was late to an important meeting, so my boss fired me. When
I went to the parking lot, I found my car was stolen and I don't have
any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home."
He continues, crying even harder. "Then I found my wife in bed with
the gardener and my dog bit me.
So, I came to this bar trying to work up the courage to put an end to my life,
and then you showed up and drank the damn poison.."

Last edited by lindabaker; 02-19-2010 at 12:49 PM. Reason: past tense correction
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Old 02-20-2010, 08:31 PM   #578
Freedom
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

What a HOOT!!!!


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Old 02-23-2010, 11:07 AM   #579
gita
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Toilet comedy.

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Old 02-24-2010, 05:42 AM   #580
Dantheman62
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

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Old 02-24-2010, 04:33 PM   #581
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Scottish Humour

A Scottish couple decided to go to Spain to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Glasgow and flew to Barcelona on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Blackpool, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who died following a heart attack.

The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: October 16, 2008

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones.

I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that
Everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. It's bloody hot down here!
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Old 02-26-2010, 04:50 PM   #582
Tango
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

you still cut me up... LOL

I Swear I've heard this recently... It's, Still funny, even in Europe, And Spain
is close to my heart.....

Hey I found this one... It's Cute watch out for the tootin'... It could be loaded. LOL...

http://www.orapois.com/br/arquivos/0...084653755g.swf

Trooly,

Tango



Quote:
Originally Posted by greybeard View Post
Scottish Humour

A Scottish couple decided to go to Spain to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Glasgow and flew to Barcelona on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Blackpool, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who died following a heart attack.

The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: October 16, 2008

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones.

I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that
Everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. It's bloody hot down here!

Last edited by Tango; 02-26-2010 at 04:54 PM.
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Old 02-26-2010, 07:51 PM   #583
Tango
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Just found this site... Funny as all _ell....

The stuff my dad says....

http://twitter.com/****mydadsays Avalon blocked this so do a google search on: Sheet my dadsays...


Trooly,


Tango

Last edited by Tango; 02-28-2010 at 04:21 AM.
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Old 02-26-2010, 09:02 PM   #584
Tango
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Redneck water Sking....




Laughing... LOL... LOL.... LOL....


Tango
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Old 02-26-2010, 09:38 PM   #585
amate
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM

This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.


Dear Diary,
For my birthday this year, my Husband (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.
Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.
My husband seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started.
The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

________________________________
MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me.
He is something of a Greek god - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!

Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today.
Very inspiring!
Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around.
This is going to be a FANTASTIC week !!

________________________________
TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door.
Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile.
I feel GREAT !! It's a whole new life for me.

_______________________________
WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.

Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.

My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Christo told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other **** too.

_______________________________
THURSDAY:
******* C was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl.
I couldn't help being a half an hour late - it took me that long to tie my shoes.
He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny little bitch to find me.
Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.

_________________________________
FRIDAY:
I hate that ******* Christo more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little aerobic instructor. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.

Christo wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the damn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.
The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

__________________________
SATURDAY:
Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today.
Just hearing his voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.

________________________________
SUNDAY:
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over.
I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds !!!


Last edited by amate; 02-26-2010 at 10:21 PM.
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Old 02-26-2010, 11:39 PM   #586
5thElement
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

For all of you who have or have ever had a cat:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0ffwDYo00Q

El

Last edited by 5thElement; 02-26-2010 at 11:39 PM. Reason: grammar
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Old 02-27-2010, 06:59 AM   #587
amate
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Except for that club.....that was my cat
She used to wake my husband by pulling his moustache with her tiny little teeth.....I shouldn't dare it ...LOL

Last edited by amate; 02-27-2010 at 09:01 AM.
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Old 02-27-2010, 03:55 PM   #588
Tango
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Two sisters, one blond and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.

In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can
breed their own stock. They only have $600 left.

Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less.

After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.

After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, " I want you to send her the word 'comfortable.'"

The operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and dr ive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word "comfortable?"

The brunette explains, "My sister's a blonde. The word's big. She'll read it very slowly ... com-for-da-bull." Laughing... See, some know how to talk blond.

Trooly,


Tango


.
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Old 02-27-2010, 10:30 PM   #589
amate
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Being a blond, I suddenly feel very comfortable

IT'S ALL DOWN TO PERSPECTIVES...

* I used to eat a lot of natural foods - until I learned that most
people die of natural causes.

* There are two kinds of pedestrians - the quick and the dead.

* Life is sexually transmitted.

* Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

* The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

* Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
dying of nothing.

* Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

* All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention
to criticism.

* In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world
is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

* How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a
whole box to start a campfire?

* Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?'

* If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

* Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

* Does pushing the elevator button more than once make It arrive faster?

* Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?


Love and Hugs

A giggle a day make you eat less Apples !

Last edited by amate; 03-01-2010 at 06:25 PM. Reason: editting
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Old 03-01-2010, 09:30 PM   #590
lindabaker
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

oops can some one tell me how to embed youtube now? For those of you who don't mind Old news, and don't want to wait for me to embed: go to Kitty is a very BAD mystic. Cat attempts to channel spirit of mouse.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bTbAsmPOKo

Last edited by lindabaker; 03-01-2010 at 09:40 PM.
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Old 03-02-2010, 04:00 AM   #591
Dog
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Dear Lord,

Last year you took away my favorite actor, Patrick Swayze,
my favorite actress, Farah Fawcett,
my favorite musician, Michael Jackson,
and my favorite salesman, Billy Mayes.

I just wanted to let you know that my favorite president is Obama.

Amen.


Stan
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Old 03-02-2010, 04:15 AM   #592
anikohu
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Talking Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

:lmao
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gemeos View Post
Thanks rhythm for opening this thread, with due respect to Antaletriangle who already opened a thread with the same intentions.



Love, Laugh and enjoy Life!

gemeos
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Old 03-02-2010, 06:03 AM   #593
no caste
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Taliban singles .... lol

bakeries, taking notes:











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Old 03-03-2010, 03:06 PM   #594
Freedom
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

What do you get if you cross a donkey
with an onion?


Most of the time you simply get an onion with long ears,

but every once in a while,

you luck out and get a piece of a$$ that brings tears to your eyes
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Old 03-03-2010, 03:10 PM   #595
Freedom
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

A TRIP TO COSTCO

Deleted....sorry if I offend you...

Namaste.....Freedom

Last edited by Freedom; 03-03-2010 at 05:09 PM.
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Old 03-03-2010, 03:32 PM   #596
Kulapops
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

I am just wetting myself over those cakes...



and that cat is just too cute 5thelement...

Thx
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Old 03-03-2010, 03:35 PM   #597
Mercuriel
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Thumbs up Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Q - Why will the Clock at Work never get stolen ?

A - Because everyones always watching It...

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Old 03-03-2010, 04:20 PM   #598
Kulapops
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

I'm sorry but having visited cakewrecks.com... the tears are just rolling down my face.. I don't think I've laughed so hard in ages.

A helpless, gurgling puddle of pure joy. I don't know why I found it sooo funny, but it just gets me. Each scroll down would produce another howl.. the frogs on the home page... and the balloons with 20010 on... I mean...

life.. does... not ... get any better than this....

http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/searc...tive%20Grammar

thank you for making my whole year worthwhile so far...

K x
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Old 03-03-2010, 04:52 PM   #599
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Quote:
Originally Posted by Freedom View Post
A TRIP TO COSTCO
... there's your proof of the sheeple brain
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Old 03-04-2010, 12:44 AM   #600
Kulapops
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Ok.. for anyone in need of a chuckle still today, I propose some very silly british humour.

Any similarities to anyone or place real or fictional is purely coincidental.

No offence intended

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