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Old 02-01-2010, 09:02 PM   #526
mudra
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be



"Sometimes when you think you're teaching others, they're teaching you!"

Laugh Always
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Old 02-01-2010, 09:20 PM   #527
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be





DHARMA THE CAT SAYS: "Some things are better left unsaid!"

Laugh Always
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Old 02-02-2010, 02:32 AM   #528
whitefluffy
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be



mudra,
sooooooooo funnnnneeeeeee, still chuckling
.
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Old 02-02-2010, 03:26 AM   #529
Gnosis5
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Quote:
Originally Posted by mudra View Post


"Sometimes when you think you're teaching others, they're teaching you!"

Laugh Always
mudra
I have probably posted this before but I was intrigued that the french word/concept for teaching and learning is the same word, "apprende".
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Old 02-02-2010, 04:21 AM   #530
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

If my facial expression in this doesnt make you laugh, i failed miserably


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Old 02-03-2010, 07:43 PM   #531
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

I don't care who you are...this is just funny!



Is YOUR New Year off to a good start?

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel "pick up your shovel, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the promised land"..

Nearly 75 years ago, Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a camel, this is the promised land"..

Now Government has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of camels, and mortgaged the promised land!

Furthermore, I was so depressed last night thinking about Health Care Plans, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc... I called Lifeline, the suicide help line. Got a freakin' call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. They all got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.



Have a great day!
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Old 02-03-2010, 11:44 PM   #532
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

The Darwins are out!!!

Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.



Here is the glorious winner:



1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach California , would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.



And now, the honorable mentions:



2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.



3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.



4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.



5.. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.



6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]



7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.



8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."



9.. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. [ A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER ]



10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
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Old 02-04-2010, 04:53 PM   #533
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Bringing one back.........

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.

And she was somewhat upset. 'You disrespectful swine!' she cried. 'How can you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'

And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute, love, so at least I can tell you what happened.' 'Go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'

And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the
car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.

I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.

So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but
don't wear because you say they are too tight.

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'

The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,

'Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use? Welll....


Tango
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Old 02-04-2010, 05:00 PM   #534
iainl140285
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tango View Post
Bringing one back.........

The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.

And she was somewhat upset. 'You disrespectful swine!' she cried. 'How can you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!'

And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute, love, so at least I can tell you what happened.' 'Go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'

And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the
car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenceless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.

I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.

So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.

Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.

Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but
don't wear because you say they are too tight.

I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'

The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,

'Please ... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use? Welll....


Tango


CLASS!

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Old 02-04-2010, 08:40 PM   #535
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Able to Laugh:

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Old 02-04-2010, 08:56 PM   #536
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

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Old 02-04-2010, 09:02 PM   #537
Gnosis5
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Laughter is a form of rejection:

Had enough yet, LOL!


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Old 02-04-2010, 09:20 PM   #538
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

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Old 02-04-2010, 10:02 PM   #539
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

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Old 02-04-2010, 10:36 PM   #540
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Talking Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

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Old 02-04-2010, 10:42 PM   #541
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

:roll1 :
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Old 02-05-2010, 09:22 PM   #542
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Default Tax advice

Tax advice found on the IRS website:

http://www.irs.gov/publications/p17/...link1000172143
Quote:
Stolen property. If you steal property, you must report its fair market value in your income in the year you steal it unless in the same year, you return it to its rightful owner.
Here too: http://failblog.org/2010/02/05/tax-advice-fail/
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Old 02-05-2010, 10:46 PM   #543
Tango
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Part of doing the Healing List is To ALSO ' tickle ' your funny bone.....

CAN YOU HEAR ME.... N O W . . . . .

Trooly,


Tango






Quote:
Originally Posted by iainl140285 View Post


CLASS!

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Old 02-05-2010, 11:13 PM   #544
Tango
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Know how to have a Peaceful day at work... Just play this...





LOL...... Laughing...


Trooly,


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Old 02-07-2010, 07:14 AM   #545
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

A New One.... From Bud

Laughing.... Your going to Love it....




Trooly,


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Old 02-07-2010, 07:53 AM   #546
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

2 days ago I woke up after 4 hours of sleep and these were my first thoughts. It started my day with laughing out loud...

Cheap entertainment for the really board: “Cockroach catching with knife and fork” and “advanced rug fluff counting”.

I might have visited funny land during those four sleeping hours and these were the gifts I brought back from there.

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Old 02-07-2010, 09:10 PM   #547
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Best Diet Ever by Linda:

Breakfast

1 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
1 cup skim milk


Lunch

1 small portion lean, steamed chicken
1 cup spinach
1 cup herbal tea
1 Hershey's chocolate kiss


Afternoon Tea

The rest of the Hershey Kisses in the bag
1 tub of chocolate ice cream with chocolate chips


Dinner

4 glasses of wine (red or white)
2 loaves garlic bread
1 family size supreme pizza
3 Snickers Bars


Late Night Snack

1 whole Sarah Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer)
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Old 02-07-2010, 09:33 PM   #548
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Quote:
Originally Posted by lindabaker View Post
Best Diet Ever by Linda:
Haha- the point is to accomplish whatever you say you are going to do, right?

SO - whenever my mother did a food-treatment to "live better"

She never called them "A Diet" - (Die-it), she always reffered to them as-

"Live-its"
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Old 02-08-2010, 01:14 AM   #549
Gnosis5
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Hmmmm, well,when I was "fastiing", I was moving "faster"?????


cheers!
Gnosis
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Old 02-08-2010, 01:19 AM   #550
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Jim Cline is Moderator of the Laughter Forum.


http://www.laughteryoga.us/forum/
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