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Old 07-09-2009, 08:14 PM   #26
rhythm
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

are you realy ready for the best joke EVer .....


there is no ME !!!!... ...
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Old 07-09-2009, 08:32 PM   #27
rhythm
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Quote:
Originally Posted by micjer View Post
An Inspirational Story


Recently I was asked to play in a golf tournament.

At first I said, 'Naaahhh!'

Then they said to me 'Come on, it's for handicapped
and blind Kids.'

Then I thought...







Shxt - I could win this!'
HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA: roll1:

:naug hty:
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Old 07-09-2009, 08:37 PM   #28
rhythm
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

WHERE ARE YOU brinty !!!!!!!

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Old 07-09-2009, 08:40 PM   #29
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

rhythm - I posted this yesterday on Ant's Quotes and Jokes thread. In case you missed it -

policia de mexico muy estupida

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9R3o6DCl0wM

(about a 1 min. street vid clip of a bank robbery in Mexico)
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Old 07-09-2009, 08:44 PM   #30
rhythm
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Quote:
Originally Posted by no caste View Post
rhythm - I posted this yesterday on Ant's Quotes and Jokes thread. In case you missed it -

policia de mexico muy estupida

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9R3o6DCl0wM

(about a 1 min. street vid clip of a bank robbery in Mexico)
hahahahahahaha

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Old 07-09-2009, 09:08 PM   #31
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Advice given to me by my father in 1957 when I was contemplating marriage.

"Son, there are five important things to know about finding a perfect woman.

1. It is important to find a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans the house and has a steady, well paying job.

2. It is important to find a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It is important to find a woman whom you can trust and doesn't lie to you.

4. It is important to find a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

5. And, it is most important of all that these four women don't know each other."
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Old 07-09-2009, 09:12 PM   #32
Brinty
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

An actor on set location, needs to visit the toilet and asks for directions. He is told where the toilet is and is warned that "it has no door on it."

The actor looks puzzled for a few seconds then asks, "How the hell do I get in then?"
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Old 07-09-2009, 09:14 PM   #33
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

lol brinty. And after all these years have you managed to keep them apart?

Ok this ones an oldie but a goldie ;


Why married women should avoid a girls night out....

The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls.'
I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!'
Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily.
Around 3 a.m., a teensy bit loaded, I headed for home.
Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.
I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape an argument.
(Even when totally smashed I KNEW... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT !) The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him ' MIDNIGHT'... he didn't seem upset in the least.
Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said , 'We need a new cuckoo clock.'
When I asked him why, he said, 'Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said 'oh sh!#$.' Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.'
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Old 07-09-2009, 09:18 PM   #34
Brinty
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Two blonds are walking towards each other. One is carrying a large paper bag. When they meet, one says, "Hi Sally-Anne, watcha got in your bag?"

"Some kittens."

"If I guess how many there are, can I have one?"

"Heck, If you guess right you can have both of 'em."

"Okay. Ummmmmm . . . . . five?"
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Old 07-09-2009, 09:23 PM   #35
rhythm
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

NOW were

cooking ......

mines a double

of what ever you lot are on ......


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Old 07-09-2009, 09:31 PM   #36
Brinty
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of her daughter's swollen abdomen.

It only took the doctor about two seconds to say, "Gimme a break lady, your daughter's pregnant!"

The mother turns purple with indignation and argues with the doctor that, "her" daughter was a good girl, and would "never" compromise her reputation by having sex with a boy.

The doctor turns and gazes out the window silently studying the horizon.

Enraged, the mother demands that he "stop looking out the window and pay attention to me!"

"Yes, of course I am paying attention madam. It's just that the last time this happened, a bright star appeared in the east and three wise men came. I was hoping they'd show up again and help me figure out who got your daughter pregnant."
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Old 07-09-2009, 09:34 PM   #37
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

ABLE TO LAUGH!!! Awesome!!!

THEY'RE ON TO SOMETHING ALRIGHT MR. SHATNER!!!

Dance n Laugh to the Shatner Funk!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLpLU7D7MWk
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Old 07-09-2009, 09:39 PM   #38
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHzdsFiBbFc

Drugs are bad mmmmmKay. just stick to the herbs...still this video is kinda funny.

anyone remember the old Hinterland Who's Who...heres the real link..
http://www.hww.ca/index_e.asp
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Old 07-09-2009, 09:42 PM   #39
rhythm
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Quote:
Originally Posted by JesterTerrestrial View Post
ABLE TO LAUGH!!! Awesome!!!

THEY'RE ON TO SOMETHING ALRIGHT MR. SHATNER!!!

Dance n Laugh to the Shatner Funk!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLpLU7D7MWk
firkin hillarious :roll 1:
:r oftl:
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Old 07-09-2009, 09:46 PM   #40
rhythm
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Quote:
Originally Posted by JesterTerrestrial View Post
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHzdsFiBbFc

Drugs are bad mmmmmKay. just stick to the herbs...still this video is kinda funny.

anyone remember the old Hinterland Who's Who...heres the real link..
http://www.hww.ca/index_e.asp

rhythmmms gona we we!!!
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Old 07-09-2009, 09:47 PM   #41
Brinty
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

An old cowboy dressed to kill in a cowboy shirt, Stetson hat, jeans, chaps and embosed leather boots with high heels and spurs, enters a bar and orders a drink. As he is sitting there sipping his drink an attractive woman takes a stool beside him and orders a drink.

After it arrives and she takes a couple of sips, she turns to the cowboy and asks, "are you a real cowboy?"

He replies, "well, I've spent my whole life on a ranch working at breaking horses, herding cows, mending fences - so I guess I'm a genuine cowboy."

After a short while he asked her what she was. "Ive never been near a ranch," she replies, "so I know I'm not a cowboy, but I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning I think of women. When I eat, shower, watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women."

A short time later she finished her drink and leaves the cowboy pondering what she had spoken of. He orders another drink. A couple comes in and sits beside him. The woman turns to him and asks, "Are you really a genuine cowboy?"

He hesitates for a moment then replies, "You know, all my life I've considered myself to be a cowboy but I've just learned that I'm actually a lesbian."
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Old 07-09-2009, 09:57 PM   #42
metaw3
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Quote:
Originally Posted by no caste View Post
rhythm - I posted this yesterday on Ant's Quotes and Jokes thread. In case you missed it -

policia de mexico muy estupida

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9R3o6DCl0wM

(about a 1 min. street vid clip of a bank robbery in Mexico)
The first time I saw this one it was there:
http://failblog.org/tag/video/

I laughed for hours watching the videos there. Here's two others:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDQhaoocZPw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XT4AxEEEwTo

and another one:
http://www.viddler.com/explore/failblog/videos/6/

oh and here's the playlist:
http://www.viddler.com/explore/failb...s/163/playall/

Last edited by metaw3; 07-10-2009 at 12:55 AM.
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Old 07-09-2009, 10:07 PM   #43
Brinty
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

This will be my last one for the day.


A duck waddles into a feed store and asks, "got any duck feed?" The guy behind the counter says, "No, we don't have a market for it so we don't carry it." The duck says, "Okay," and leaves.

The next day the duck waddles into the feed store and asks, "Got any duck feed?" Again the the guy behind the counter says, "no." and the duck leaves.

Next day the duck waddles in and asks, "Got any duck feed?" The guy says, "Look, I've told you twice already, we don't have any duck feed, we've never had any duck feed and we will never have any duck feed. If you come in here and ask one more time for duck feed, I'll nail your feet to the floor!"

The next day the duck waddles into the feed store and asks, "Got any nails?" The guy frowns and replies, "No."

"Good," says the duck, "got any duck feed?"
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Old 07-09-2009, 10:56 PM   #44
Phtha
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be





Ok this 3rd one is kind mean but I admit, I laughed:
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Old 07-10-2009, 01:00 AM   #45
metaw3
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

I just have to post this one. This is too much. I laughed so hard it hurts.

http://www.viddler.com/explore/failblog/videos/10/
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Old 07-10-2009, 01:09 AM   #46
micjer
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Subject: Bragging about kids.

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party .


After several drinks, one of the men had to use the toilet.

Those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, 'My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel.
He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder
and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best
friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.'

The second guy said, 'Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy.
He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the
majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.'

The third man said: 'Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own
construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice andexpensive to his best friend for his birthday:
A 30,000 square foot mansion.'


The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from
the toilet and asked: 'What are all the congratulations for?'

One of the three said: 'We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. ..What about your son?'

The fourth man replied: 'My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.'

The three friends said: 'What a shame... what a disappointment.'

The fourth man replied: 'No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I lovehim. And he hasn't done too bad either.
His birthday was two weeks ago, and
he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes
from his three boyfriends
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Old 07-10-2009, 01:42 AM   #47
giovonni
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Talking Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Quote:
Originally Posted by Carmen View Post
And first prize goes to sleepingnomore!!
Your lizard joke is priceless, had tears rolling down my cheeks. I resonating to the wife, I think we share the same brand of sarcasm!!!

Cheers

Carmen
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Old 07-10-2009, 01:55 AM   #48
lindabaker
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

GOTTA PEE
>
>
>
> Two women friends had a girl's night out.
>
> Both were very faithful and loving wives, however they had gotten a little over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers.
>

> Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to Pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.
>
One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them.
>
Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and didn't want to ruin them. She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that.
>
After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home.
>
The next day one of the woman's husband was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said: 'These girl nights out have to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties!!'
>
'That's nothing' said the other husband, 'Mine came home with a card stuck to her butt that said.....

"From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you.''
>
>
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Old 07-10-2009, 04:14 AM   #49
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel " pick up your shovel, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the promised land".

Nearly 75 years ago, Roosevelt said, " Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a camel, this is the promised land".

Now Obama has stolen your shovel , taxed your asses, raised the price of camels, and mortgaged the promised land.
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Old 07-10-2009, 06:10 AM   #50
Humble Janitor
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu_moia-oVI

This video always makes me laugh
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