|
|
Project Avalon General Discussion Finding safe places, information and resources for building communities, site suggestions. |
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
03-09-2009, 08:37 AM | #1076 |
Avalon Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 992
|
Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours
Where are ya Dan< I finally found a good Bull (and Cow) story for you
21 Economic Models Explained SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk. NAZISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRATISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away. TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. SURREALISM You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead. ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND VENTURE CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull. A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide. A GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them. A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation. AN INDIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You worship them. A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows. Both are mad. AN IRAQI CORPORATION Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy. AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate. A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive |
03-09-2009, 08:51 AM | #1077 |
Avalon Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Blackbutt, Queensland, Australia
Posts: 1,004
|
Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours
|
03-09-2009, 09:01 AM | #1078 |
Avalon Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: devon england
Posts: 1,905
|
Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours
you lot are definitley
my soul family . alcolholics uninhibited cross dressers a disgrace to the human race and completley f ...in bonker thats gonna be some party on the return trip, brothers and sisters . OUR ship stocking up the bar as i speak keep wacthing for lights you may see jimmy wavin out the window , singing all along the watchtower ... well its been a long wait ... see yer there me old heartys |
03-09-2009, 09:02 AM | #1079 |
Avalon Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 992
|
Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours
I know Brinty, damn it all. I figured other nationalities wouldnt mind so much, as this joke was taking the **** out of New Zealand just as much.
|
03-09-2009, 11:17 AM | #1080 | |
Avalon Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Germany
Posts: 1,151
|
Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours
Quote:
|
|
03-09-2009, 04:56 PM | #1081 |
Avalon Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: So. Cal. U.S.
Posts: 4,205
|
Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours
That's awesome Carmen!, I'm going to copy it and send it around! HaHa
|
03-09-2009, 07:46 PM | #1082 |
Avalon Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Deer Park. Victoria. Australia
Posts: 136
|
Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours
Hey fellas, check out the new waitress:
She's serving me my JellyBean. Love and peace to all. John Relayer |
03-09-2009, 08:42 PM | #1083 |
Avalon Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Blackbutt, Queensland, Australia
Posts: 1,004
|
Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours
WOW!! I'd like to see her shake a cocktail.
My breath's coming in short pants just thinking about it. I'd better take a blood pressure pill! |
03-09-2009, 09:22 PM | #1084 | |
Avalon Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Deer Park. Victoria. Australia
Posts: 136
|
Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours
Quote:
Not sure if its good to mix with alcohol though. Take care my friend. Best regards always, john Relayer |
|
03-10-2009, 02:48 AM | #1085 |
Avalon Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: heart central
Posts: 798
|
Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours
gentlemen ... it is now very obvious what gender hires the waitresses in this lounge ...
brinty ... puleeze be careful ... you don't want to get too close to the hired hand ... remember the plane incident ... haven't visited in a while ... fruity frilly with an umbrellie for futureyes please and thank you ... hey ... wasn't johnny d in here recently ... sigh ... missed him again ... to all the wonderful members here on avalon ... |
03-10-2009, 04:17 AM | #1086 |
Avalon Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Blackbutt, Queensland, Australia
Posts: 1,004
|
Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours
Gee, I wish you'd popped in a bit sooner futureyes, I did get too close and copped an elbow in the eye. At least, I think it was an elbow. Boy! she can sure shake those maracas of hers. Now I've got fruity drink all the way down to my knees. It got that far before I fell down and hid under a table. From here you get a completely different view of the patrons. And do you know, fruity drinks aren't the only things with frilly attachments.
|
03-10-2009, 04:41 AM | #1087 |
Avalon Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: heart central
Posts: 798
|
Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours
funny brinty ... when i stepped out of the lounge for a minute ... i had the strangest feeling that you were going to end up under a table!
i asked you to please be careful around her ... brinty ... brinty ... brinty ... now you're injured ... next time brinty ... distance your self ... you crack me up brinty ... |
03-10-2009, 04:50 AM | #1088 |
Avalon Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 3,117
|
Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours
Okay gals...it's equal opportunity employment here...
Here are the new waiters we just hired |
03-10-2009, 05:24 AM | #1089 |
Avalon Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: heart central
Posts: 798
|
Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours
yes brook!
NOW ... i'll be visiting this fine establishment more OFTEN!!! may need to share brinty's pressure pills ... ooooh ... let the FUN ... begin ... good marketing brook ... i'm certain we'll be seeing many of the female patrons come back because of this ... rather .... THEM ... |
03-10-2009, 09:44 AM | #1090 |
Avalon Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: devon england
Posts: 1,905
|
Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours
NEW waiters where is
brintys blood pressure pills no for me Was that a SNAKE i saw or just me wishfull thinkin waiter ill have a large one ! |
03-10-2009, 11:03 AM | #1091 |
Avalon Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Blackbutt, Queensland, Australia
Posts: 1,004
|
Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours
rhythmm, you want a large snake??? what kind of drink is that? You need to watch your intake of those, especially the green variety, they could cause you to lose something that might embarrass you.
|
03-10-2009, 04:25 PM | #1092 |
Avalon Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,570
|
Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours
Thought I'd join you for a round of JD.. with my date Alice.
|
03-10-2009, 04:51 PM | #1093 |
Avalon Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,570
|
Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours
White Rabbit for you Dan:
post 11:11 |
03-10-2009, 04:58 PM | #1094 |
Avalon Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: heart central
Posts: 798
|
Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours
rhythm ... i dreamt about snakes last night!!!
ahh ... gotta love this lounge ... let's both share brinty's pills ... |
03-10-2009, 05:22 PM | #1095 |
Avalon Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 3,117
|
Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours
We are getting closer and closer to catching up with the nexus thread in number of posts..keep it up!
|
03-10-2009, 08:42 PM | #1096 |
Avalon Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Blackbutt, Queensland, Australia
Posts: 1,004
|
Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours
I've tried keeping it up but the wind keeps knocking it down.
|
03-10-2009, 08:58 PM | #1097 |
Avalon Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 3,117
|
Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours
Don't you just hate it when that happens
|
03-10-2009, 09:57 PM | #1098 |
Avalon Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: within my heart
Posts: 1,209
|
Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours
Hey BROOK!
Guess What I"m Doing? That's right! I'm Dancing with Myself! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VNx78SAq8M |
03-10-2009, 10:34 PM | #1099 |
Avalon Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 3,117
|
Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours
He's learning to skydive next...
|
03-11-2009, 01:30 AM | #1100 |
Avalon Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,570
|
Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours
If you have any problems with the avalon ark link to the ramtha book here is the location I found it originally (I have the real book too):
http://isohunt.com/torrent_details/5...ha?tab=summary Make Known the Unknown! Happy Travels ..or you can buy it here: http://www.amazon.com/Ramtha-White-B...6735093&sr=1-1 but don't take my word for it, scroll down and read some of the glowing customer reviews. Last edited by Luminari; 03-11-2009 at 01:35 AM. |
|
|
|