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Old 11-15-2009, 07:20 PM   #1
Spregovori
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Default Some advice please

My Cocker Spaniel (English type) named Lan is dying. Yesterday I took him to a veterinarian who conformed it.

X-ray showed his heart is much greater in size than it should be...it is failing...as a result...so are the other organs...also heart "cage" and other parts of the body a flooded with water. He will be 15 in just 7 days. Too old to do anything...too complicated to actually do anything.

No time was given...only that it will not be long. He still has the spark in him (he always did)...but his body is failing.

To others it is just a dog. To me it is much more than many other people.

He has some trouble breathing, does not move much, is reluctant to go out...but still loves to eat. He is not in pain and it will end when time comes. I will not prolong it.

I am just not sure how to face this.

Am I being selfish?

I found a lot of things I could do but did not. I got him when I was 13. He was already 2 at that time. The previous owners decided they can no longer take care of him.

Much was happening during the years. There were domestic problems and there were my personal problems...my inability to cope with everything. He never failed me. But I think I failed him. There are a lot of things I could do better for him but I did not....and this is eating me inside out. (very typical?)

I am also unsure...should I wait until the last moment or should I take him back to the vet before that?

What would be his wish? If there was some way to talk with him...

I experienced a lot of sad feelings before...more than I wished I had...but it was never like this.

I hope that he will be acknowledged as good as I see him after he passes on...to whatever it might be...

Last edited by Spregovori; 11-15-2009 at 07:28 PM.
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Old 11-15-2009, 07:32 PM   #2
THE eXchanger
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Default Re: Some advice please

my cat was 15,
and, NOT in any pain
(ironically; i was aware, of a heart problem,
albeit, i choose to NOT give him meds)

i waited, til he had a stroke,
and, then, it took approx 33 hrs,
for him to pass; out of this life, to his next lifetime

it was an honour for me,
to usher him out,
whilst, i held him

my cat; hated needles

it was the best thing, i ever did

i will NEVER forget, feeling his spirit, as, he departed

i will NEVER forget, my own trine/or trinity
of a higher self/essence/and, monad,
who came, to take him away,
and, flew off his crown,
through my third eye,
and, then returned approx 8 hours later

if there are meds,that, will help your beloved dog,
by all means, get that, and, help the dog, to live longer, and,
perhaps; better ~ consider that

it is NOT easy, to let, them go

i know, they truly are a big part of us

they love us, with 'no condiitons'

ironically, after they depart,
they often choose to work with us,
in 'etheric forms'
and, we are never truly parted from them,
energetically, they are always around us

it is a hard call - trust your heart / trust your gut

i will send lots of energy, light, and, love to both of you

sometimes, an animal, slows down in fall,
and, esp. an animal, that is a little bit older
my 15 year old cat, did that,
starting at around is 12th winter,
so, perhaps, it just might be a fall slow-down ?

give them lots and, lots of love,
and, also understanding,
they too, sometimes, need to depart,
to get onto their next assignment
(which ironically, for you, could be,
them being your spirit 'dog' / guide

big hugs to both of you
and, lots of healing/and, love too
love/susan
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Old 11-15-2009, 07:38 PM   #3
Spregovori
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Default Re: Some advice please

Thank you Susan
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Old 11-15-2009, 07:40 PM   #4
burgundia
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Default Re: Some advice please

i think when the time comes, you will know what to do...
blessings to both of you...
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Old 11-15-2009, 09:08 PM   #5
Northern Boy
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Default Re: Some advice please

it is never easy losing a family member and that is how I look at it. I don`t consider it a pet but a family member . I had a Golden Lab she is a great dog and although not with me in the flesh anymore she is still with me in spirit. mine developed cancer melanoma inside her mouth at a young age 3 yrs I took her in and the vet though i may have a year or two at best with her . She lasted another 11 years before it reemerged only this time she didn`t have the strength to go under the knife again she too at times displayed thay spark and though reluctant to do it I put myself in her position and thought it would be best to assist in relieving her pain and suffering so on a Friday after Christmas holidays we the rest of the family took her to the vet and I spent several minutes alone with her and thanked her for all the years we shared together and for being a loyal companion to me . I told her I loved her and that we would meet again someday and stay together. then they came in and administered the shot and left I stayed with her right till the end.

So i guess what I`m trying to say is if she has given you the best years of her life is it selfish of you to have prolong the pain and suffering because you may not want to let go . If she is not suffering then its OK but if she goes off in the house to be alone when she has always hung around then you must be prepared to let go as this is the sign they want to pass on and take the next step in thier lives . It not easy and tough to let go and thru the pain you may never want another dog but trust me they make wonderful healers of the soul

Last edited by Northern Boy; 11-15-2009 at 10:57 PM.
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Old 11-15-2009, 09:20 PM   #6
Jacqui D
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Default Re: Some advice please

I think 15 is a good age for a dog, he will know you love him after so many years animals do love unconditionally.
The loss to you will be great i have lost many cats and dogs but you feel them with you each day and have had some show themselves to me after death.
I would suggest if he is not in any pain let him live his last few days with out the prodding and poking of vets, unless he is in pain you can not let him be in pain.
You will know when the time is right, you will have to make that decision alone no one can make it for you.
I sympathise with you at this time i have struggled with this thought when my little dog reaches an old age. Enjoy the time you have with him and tell him you love him and remember you will see him again one day.
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Old 11-15-2009, 09:32 PM   #7
Spregovori
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Default Re: Some advice please

That is good to know. I will take notice on his behavior and if he will try to be alone.

At this moment he mostly desires to eat and he also drinks a lot but I think that water mainly goes into his body system...than out of him.

If I put myself into his skin...than I am:

- old
- I do not feel god
- I have trouble breathing and I cough
- I have trouble laying down unless it is on my hips
- I do not prefer to move much, it tires me, and my legs do nor carry me as they used to
- I do not like to go out, I almost do not want to go out
- I like to eat

If it were me...I think I would prefer to die.

But that is me. I have..."troubled" past behind me...I do not care that much about myself...even now as a "healthy" 26yr and I do not care if I do not wake up tomorrow morning. There is not much reason except him.

His inner being might have a different opinion. I can not communicate with him and now I am in a position of an "executioner".

I try my best to ignore my selfish feelings of sadness and figure out what is best for him. I do not want him to suffer yet I do not know what he wants. Is he now just on a "survival" instinct or is there more? He was always very intelligent. I wish he would somehow tell me what to do.

He is not in pain at the moment...if one does not count trouble breathing as pain....but this might eventually develop into feeling of suffocation - an extremely unpleasant thing
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Old 11-15-2009, 09:34 PM   #8
burgundia
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Default Re: Some advice please

You will know, he will tell you what to do...
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Old 11-15-2009, 10:01 PM   #9
THE eXchanger
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Default Re: Some advice please

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spregovori View Post
But that is me. I have..."troubled" past behind me...I do not care that much about myself...even now as a "healthy" 26yr and I do not care if I do not wake up tomorrow morning. There is not much reason except him.His inner being might have a different opinion. I can not communicate with him and now I am in a position of an "executioner".
I try my best to ignore my selfish feelings of sadness
and figure out what is best for him.
I do not want him to suffer yet I do not know what he wants.
Is he now just on a "survival" instinct
or is there more?
He was always very intelligent.
I wish he would somehow tell me what to do.
NOW, here's a few thoughts to ponder:

Your dog, came to you,
in a very 'hard time' on 'his road'
and, also, a very 'hard time' on 'your road'

They are fluffy, and, soft,
and, warm and loving, because,
that is what you,
so lovingly installed within him.

If it was NOT within you, it would NOT be within him.

It is a two-way street,
with our fuzzy furry pets,
and, both parties, always, and, in all ways,
move in the same direction,
at approximately the same speed.

He came to you, when he was two,
so, he could find 'compassion', 'faith", "hope" and, some "charity"
which, all adds up, to having a trip/or a voyage,
all about "love"

In the process,
you both, won,
as, you both have,
and, you both have discovered and found "real" bonds of love.

Looking after him,
he lit a spark in you,
that, put you into the mode of doing...

If you want to see,
your own magic, in action,
then, stop now,
and, go look deeply into your dogs eyes

there lurking you will see,
all, that, you truly are,
as, well, as, all that he truly is,
he didn't land on your path,
as, 'dark' as it was, at the time, he landed there,
for, 'no reason'

he came,
so, you could develop yourself,
and, just show the world,
what 'good stuff' you are made off --
your dog, has given you 'dual purpose'
which, BTW, is a grand, and, a marvelous thing
something, of a miracle...

So now, your life has the foundation,
you created a real home, for the two of you to share,
a place, where you were able to
truly develop the foundation,
that will launch,
your own 'greater purpose'

i do NOT know,
if you have you ever, heard the eXpression
'you stopped two steps, sort of the load" ???

Honour, the bond, and, the friendship
the love, all that the two of you have built together,
with your dog, over 13 years,
as, the dog, has graciously,
helped you to develop, into something very marvelous,
and, quite magical.

if you go,
to where the dog is,
and, you look deeply into his eyes

there's a mirror there, for you to explore

it is within, your dogs big huge eyes
that, he will speak to you,
in 'big' and 'large' volumes,
as, there within mirror,
in his big beautiful eyes,
you will see,
yourself,
for the very first time, in a way,
i'll bet, that after reading this,
and, doing that,
that you will NEVER have seen yourself before...
in this type of light

Always, remember, these types of special moments
and, go out,
and, eXpress yourself,
by living the magic in your dogs eyes,
and, push that, energy,
through the rest of your life

knowing, that the great change,
you gave the dog, approx 13 years ago,
is the same sort of change,
he gave you,
and, weave that, into everything you do !!!

This world, needs you NOW !!!

and, remember,
that sometimes, we are gifted with the next pet,
who, ironically, has the same eyes/and, same heart,
as, the last one ~ my cat, has been in 4 out of the 5 cats,
i have had, in this lifetime !!!

Your posting today, has spurred me,
into realising, that i think, i am NOW ready for another pet,
there's a stray, out at the ranch, i ride at,
his eyes, and, his purr, are quite familiar,
and, i think, i might just go; and; get him,
and, see if, he'd like to share my nice warm home with me,
than spend a winter, in a cold barn !!!

Thank You !!!

ps; may you always be the person, your dog, believes that you are !!! LOL

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Old 11-16-2009, 01:10 AM   #10
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Default Re: Some advice please

My heart goes out to you, as this loved one has been with you almost all of your life. If and when your loved one starts to suffer, you can give him permission to leave his body, and tell him it's for the best, and that you are okay with it. That you understand his need to leave the body, and that your heart will be with him. Then, watch out for another pup...one with the same eyes, or same personality. He will try to return to you. Keep an open mind and and open heart, and do not grieve overly long. If you grieve too long, you may mess up the timing of his return to you. I have heard of six weeks to six months among the people I know who are aware of this. Dogs don't come back as people...they are pure dog energy and it is so wonderful. Celebrate how much you gave each other...and look forward to your reunion. I will be thinking about you. Linda
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Old 11-16-2009, 10:24 AM   #11
Anchor
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Default Re: Some advice please

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spregovori View Post
I try my best to ignore my selfish feelings of sadness and figure out what is best for him. I do not want him to suffer yet I do not know what he wants.
You are better than that, you are a divine spark. You are loved and cherished as much as you love your dog! Each minutiae of progress you make on the path is encouraged by outpourings of love and cheers by the assembled beings from many systems and galaxies who are here to witness the special times we are living through. These are not normal - as you may think of it.

You have formed some kind of dependency on this dog, it was for a reason. You are being offered a catalyst. Your dog is not suffering terribly - if he was I am convinced that we would not be having this conversation because you would have done what needed to be done already.

Take some time for yourself and listen to what your heart (your inner voice) is telling you about this situation, its lessons (which are complex!) and what you need to do.

It is my sincere wish that everything works out as intended with the minimum discomfort for both of you. May the light of the one infinite creator guide you. (Remember to ask !).

Love is all there is, and all there is is one.

A..

Last edited by Anchor; 11-16-2009 at 09:43 PM.
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Old 11-16-2009, 11:06 AM   #12
mudra
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Default Re: Some advice please

Spregovori,

This is not a time for worries my friend .. this is a time for great Love .
Speak to your dog and just know he understands you .
Tell him how a wonderfull friend he has been for you and thank him for this .
Tell him you understand his earth suit is getting old and this is why he may
not feel so much at ease with it anymore .
And that you understand as well that he will have to step out of it when the time comes.
That's very natural and necessary so he can get himself a brand new one .
That you two will meet again because true friends always carry one another in their hearts.
And that when you do it will be like Love at first sight .

Just hold him and yourself in the Love flow
Keep your vibrations high..
That will help him to pass away in peace when he is ready for it .

And as a side note I noticed with cats when they are ready to leave their vehicle
that spontaniously stop eating and even drinking .
I think this is the way animals use to close gradually their engines and turn the lights off.
We should accept and respect this .
We have a tendency on the contrary to force them to feed and drink .
I have been on a fasting program myself for a 20 day period at the time.
I remember how completely relax you become by doing this as your heart beat slows down.
I would imagine that for animals this is the way to go away with ease.

Love Always
mudra
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Old 11-16-2009, 12:02 PM   #13
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Default Re: Some advice please

So many nice messages. Thank you.

You think too much of me. I could have done better (taking care of him...etc)


And after he is gone, I told him it will be best, if he can find someone better than me and that it is up to him to decide. I also do not plan to get another dog...unless something really extra special happens.

He is on my bed now. Resting. He does not seem to be relaxed. But that is what he does most lately.

He looks to me from time to time...I am here at the PC. I go to him to pet him..to talk to him... He changes positions a lot...has hard time lying down on one place. I hope he can go to sleep..

He ate today. We were out for couple of minutes and than he turned back to go home.

According to the vet...it might be possible that this phase can continue for some time or not... It is not much of a life but if he stops eating or starts cough blood or looses control of movement...or anything like it I will end it.

I am just afraid that waiting...for some signal or a symptom can be dangerous. He is not in pain now (at least he does not show it) But when the time comes he might be and the vet is not next door...it is like 10-20 min drive with a car...

Thx for all your support.
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Old 11-16-2009, 01:07 PM   #14
mudra
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Default Re: Some advice please

I give a great hug to Lan and I think that you Spregovori Loving soul are doing your very best for your friend.
Why not go to the healing thread and put a note there for him .
We will add our love and healing energies to yours to make Lan confortable in the times he is undergoing now.

http://www.projectavalon.net/forum/s...ad.php?t=15358

With Love for You and Lan
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Old 11-17-2009, 11:35 AM   #15
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He is gone.

Last day he kept looking at me. He knew something is very wrong. He also looked at times in other directions...like something was there or perhaps he was just confused.

The last night...he was no able to be in one place for more than an hour an even than...he did not get much sleep..and some nights before. Considering he also used to sleep during the day...he was very am tired.

His wight (water flooding the body) was getting too much for his legs.

This morning he was unable to poo. Considering the amount of food he ate...it was very dangerous for him to poison his body - since he was unable to go to the toilet.

We took him to another Vet - that was my decision. He did an ultrasound which conformed the obvious.

He stated it was the right thing to do...and that it would only get worse.

We buried him in the yard.

I told him I loved him and that...everything...

This are some of his pictures

http://www.ednevnik.si/uploads/m/mescaline/163741.jpg

http://www.ednevnik.si/uploads/m/mescaline/163743.jpg

http://www.ednevnik.si/uploads/m/mescaline/163742.jpg

I killed him but i think (hope) it was for the good. He was all I had. Do not know what I should do now...

Thx for all your support
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Old 11-17-2009, 11:50 AM   #16
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I also had a strange dream this night...too weird.

It will be hard to describe. I am not used to do this...dreams are very "chaotic" and or confusing.

My grandmother and Lan were somehow combined as one...I saw that not all is well. Than my grandmother and Lan got separated. I asked my grandmother if I should proceed with the euthanasia. She said no. I asked why...since all the problems. She told me to look at him...and he was fine. All rested, healthy, happy...

The grandmother mentioned above is still alive. She has medical problems but not as severe as Lan did. I "understand" this dream as - seperate him from the bad and everything will be ok... yet I was told not to gve him the injection or so I remember...

I also (consciously) and officially offered myself in exchange for his health and life...but it seems the offer was not accepted.

He is now in a place I do not understand, see or hear. I do hope soul is eternal - for him.

And if he has karmic debt (negative) it should be put on my shoulders.
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Old 11-17-2009, 12:02 PM   #17
mudra
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Default Re: Some advice please

Spregovori Lan was a beautifull dog.
My friend you eased him from a vehicle that could not longer serve him .
And by doing this you eased his pains.
Lan's spirit is now free . Imagine a bird coming out of his cage .
He can now fly .. there are no bounderies any longer.
When the time comes he will pick up a new earth suit that his
appropriate for his soul journey.
Trust all his well .
Forgive yourself for what you think you did that was not right for
Lan has forgiven you already and is surrounding you with Love .
Find some peace in your heart and smile for where he is now that 's
what he is doing for You .

Love from me
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Old 11-17-2009, 12:28 PM   #18
Anchor
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Default Re: Some advice please

Spregovori

You did the right thing. No pet could have wanted a higher more thoughtful owner.

Everything, and I mean everything, happens for a reason.

I am sorry for your loss, and I know how it feels. I have been where you are. I hope your period of grief passes promptly.

My suggestion would be to get out among the trees and share the moments with them, they are wise in the ways of sorrow - they have seen so much of it. They will help you.

A..
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Old 11-17-2009, 04:15 PM   #19
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Default Re: Some advice please

We are an instant that disappears in time; There is nothing to hide; nothing to lose.

POM
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Old 11-17-2009, 05:17 PM   #20
THE eXchanger
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Default Re: Some advice please

(((big hugs to all)))
so sorry, to hear of LAN's passing
he will be around you, in his 'new' spirit form
you likely, saved him, a lot of pain and anguish,
and, you did the right thing,
putting him to sleep --
he is out of pain, and, NOW free !!!

he will NEVER forget you,
and, you will NEVER forget him,
that type of love is eternal,
and, it NEVER comes to an end

so, be sure, to celebrate the rememberance of that love, daily

i hope, you will be, the type of person,
your dog believed you were,
actually; all of us,
should be, the types of people,
our pets believe us to be,
they are good & wise friends,
who we are most fortunate,
to share, the journey with

LAN & YOU were so very fortunate,
to have time, to share with one another,
remember, that type of love, lasts forever

CELEBRATE your memory of LAN,
in everything you choose to do !!!

As, that will honour the memory, of the significant bond the two of you,
will always share

love to both of you,
susan

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Old 11-17-2009, 07:41 PM   #21
Northern Boy
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Default Re: Some advice please

Sorry to hear about your loss .he will always be with you there is not a day goes by when I don`t think of my old girl Had a picture of her Blown up and framed it sits on my wall loyal to me right to the end. you can get another dog take some time for yourself then when you feel the time is right look for a dog it will help to ease the pain
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Old 11-17-2009, 07:50 PM   #22
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Default Re: Some advice please

Sorry for your loss

Think of this

He lived everyday in the now, he savoured every moment on this earth, he left with no unfinished business and no regrets.
He truly loved you and his life
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Old 11-17-2009, 08:13 PM   #23
THE eXchanger
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Northern Boy View Post
Had a picture of her Blown up and framed it sits on my wall loyal to me right to the end.
What a beautiful idea,

i went on ebay, looking for something,
related to black cats, or, old familiars (as, some people call them)
and, i found an amasing artist,
who had painted 3 painting...
and, they truly reflected, eXactly what he loved to do

1) siting under the flowers in the garden

2) sitting in the light of the planets and stars

and,

3) sit out in the yard ~ keeping other cats, at bay LOL
(heaven forbid, they get any of his LOVE) <wink> <big grin>

and, NOW, i hope to take the 3 of them
and, integrate them, into a childrens book

Your photographs of LAN, are lovely,
thank you for so graciously, sharing them, with me,
and, with all of us

love/susan
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Old 11-17-2009, 08:41 PM   #24
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Dear Spregovori,
So sorry you had to say good-bye to your old friend, Lan. I think he held on as long as he could for you, but his physical body wore out. He'll be with you in many ways always. If you do ever take a puppy into your life, even if it might be Lan coming back to you, that new one will be a new story. Lan was one of a kind and such a smart and fortunate dog to have chosen you for his time here. You are special and I wish you great peace.

Love Always,
Bushycat
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Old 11-17-2009, 08:42 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eXchanger View Post
(((big hugs to all)))
i hope, you will be, the type of person,
your dog believed you were,
actually; all of us,
should be, the types of people,
our pets believe us to be,
they are good & wise friends,
who we are most fortunate,
to share, the journey with
I do not know what type of person he hopes me to be. I have no idea.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Swanny View Post
Sorry for your loss

He lived everyday in the now, he savoured every moment on this earth, he left with no unfinished business and no regrets.
He truly loved you and his life
I am not sure there were no regrets. I can not be sure.


They way he had to go...he did not deserve this...not like that...not with breathing problems and water flooding the organs...etc

I am grateful for all your kind words. He was/is everything to me.



I do not plan to get another dog...that would be like...betraying him.

I do so wish to be somehow able to communicate with him...to see weather he is ok and if there is anything he wants me to do. And I wish to be together...with him...

You are all just so great here...and all I do is "complaining"...

So also all the best wishes from me to you.

I will try to get some sleep soon.
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