Feeling un-motivated and quite out of place. And LOTS of paranormal stuff happening!

[eurosceptic]

yes resonate with that - though in a paradoxical way, society and culture hasnet always provided and obvious framework to do it all in! Culture is the enemy as Terrence Mckenna says.

I'm a big fan of hiking up mountains etc and adventure of course - getting to know the planet a bit better in other words....

I have had 'paranormal' things happen - in the last year a few more things....with less time between them....and recently I have had a surge of very interesting vivid dreams.

[cantaloupe]

Great thread, very comforting to know other thinking, feeling folks are going through this stuff too. I gauge the situation partially by keeping an eye on the willingness to listen of those friends who normally glaze over/ change the subject when I bring up topics like these. The energy/ anxiety/ anticipation that is currently insinuating itself into everyones' heads is causing an opening to the alternate views that I am only just now beginning to see. Don't give up!
Keep trying to tell the people you love that these events are occurring. To do so will help us overcome our own resistance to what's coming. I'm scared. I like the phrase "ascension symptoms" because it helps put the fear in context and enables me to try to move beyond it. . I am trying to foster the belief that these are all just challenges and they will be met -BY US! As the chain keeps clicking us to that first plunge of the roller coaster the only thing that I can think to do is to try to keep a loving heart out in front of it all. Thanks, everyone, for contributing here.

[Bobcat]

Supose this doesnt sound very man like but...Over the last few weeks I have been crying alot. When I watch/read things about the inocent getting hurt can't hold my emotions in very well, it's alomst like i feel the pain too and my private pain for their pain.

Funny old thing for a mentaly strong person eh :P

[Jacqui D]

Well here we go again, go to bed, get up, do the daily grind;

Help i want to get off!!!!

[scanner]

Hi all I've been going through the same process 4 years, I've also been getting very strange dreams just lately, anybody else? I was in the pub wid my friend ( he's one of us thank god someone to talk to ) the other day just looking around, it was like ( if you ever seen the adds ) everybody was rushing around and we were sat still in time and looking in on them ?? I was thinking sheeple i'm seeing this more and more . My Wife now taking notice of me at last after 27 years of not , she's been having strange dreams as well, sorry if I've gone a bit just thought I'd share. Thanks

[Irving]

This thread is totally awesome.

I've been surely having a hard time as of lately but have been trying to enjoy every second of the mystery unfold. The biggest reason I have been having a hard time is because of incredibly out of control asthma that I stupidly fueled by smoking cigarettes for years, then being involved in a house fire, and then working an industrial job sandblasting and machine spray painting. I have since quit smoking and I have been struggling to deal with this issue for quite some time but I have still not yet been able to find help to pin down exactly what is wrong with me. I'm afraid at 24 I very possibly already have some sort of permanent lung/bronchial damage that even further aggravates asthma. I struggle to talk and have lost much of the depth and deepness of my voice. This has basically been crippling me as my body feels much like a prison from which I cannot properly communicate from. I constantly avoid hanging out and seeing friends because it depresses me that I cannot properly communicate. I feel like these are my postmodern years because me earlier reckless lifestyle and full tilt rock n' roll attitude have chewed me up and spit me out to be the slightly bitter and damaged person that I am now.

Otherwise I love life and love to be able to be a solid voice of reason and logic during these changing times, but my respiratory problem unfortunately limits me very much. I used to party hard, do occasional drugs of many varieties, play guitar in local and successful rock bands, all the while going to college, and graduating, with a bachelors degree in media studies and philosophy. I have spent many years figuring out what the reality of our world situation is and I feel like I have so much knowledge and information to share but I am not wielding my responsibility well. I have always loved my ability to take on and embrace both branches of intellectual truth searcher and have a good time recklessly rocking. I have surely gone through bouts of depression in the past as well as periods in life of pure ecstasy and I feel that I am now at a plateau where I am somewhat indifferent. I don't think I would shudder if I knew that I was going to die in an hour from now.

I luckily cook in a kitchen for work and I have just about the coolest boss ever, so he doesn't mind when I constantly show up hours late almost everyday. I am not making even enough money to get by and am increasingly spending on credit cards just to buy food. I have a college degree but feel unable to even want to search for a better job because I cannot talk or communicate properly and I know that our current system is about to crash to the ground anyway. I do indeed feel quite alone and trapped in my mind with the information that I have and I have become a bit reckless. I guess I have sort of a melancholy post-modern sadness and frustration while at the same time being meditative and totally living in the now and being happy and content just to hear the silence in between all of the chaos. It sounds contradictory, but it makes sense to me. lol.

I have a family who is utterly clueless as to what is going on and my attempts to enlighten them have been rather futile. I seem to be getting through to them a bit better but I am still far from actually having them seriously listen to me for advice. My father just purchased a large flat screen TV and a brand new Mazda two door convertible and I can't help but think that he is so immature. My older brother has a young baby and I am trying my hardest, through emails and communication, to gently inform them so that they can take precautions, but they just think that I am a conspiracy theorist. They are recklessly sleepwalking into the financial catastrophe and I am desperately trying to help them, but they just don't see it. I also feel pressure from my family to get a "career" and do something with my life. It's hard to tell them that the current paradigm is about to end and that I am killing time until the golden age arrives but that we had all better get seriously ready for some potential hard times during the transformation. Somehow they don't take me seriously when I talk about this, haha. I am now reading Peter Schiff's "Crash Proof" to become better informed to help my family get a fighting chance.

Damn, I could just go on and on about my current state of affairs and how discouraged I sometimes am. haha. My current health condition and other factors have convinced me to not even really to try to survive in the coming years, I want to, but I am just going to go down with the ship. At such a young age I'm already so tired and feel like I'm much older than my actual age. I am ready for ANYTHING to happen to finally force the masses to be involved. In the meantime I still run a blog and I write a lot, so maybe I can do my part to help awaken some more people.

I would agree with all of you that it is very difficult to continue doing the routine tasks of this dying paradigm when you know its all about to end!

I often dream and daydream about the coming utopia and golden age where my health has returned and my family, friends, and girlfriend who left me, understand where I, and others like me, have been coming from for all these years. haha. I can't wait. This post is a little long and probably depressing as hell, haha, but I had to vent I guess. Bring on tomorrow, man. I'm waiting and watching.

[2infinityandbeyond]

to the thread Irving.

I started it in the hope that people would talk about themselves and its pretty (id usually say f**king here but ive been warned) 'damn' cool to see so many people willing to talk about themselves, it helps everyone involved. Well, its definitly helping me anyways, pretty cool to know im not alone in my sanity.

What you said about your dad, my dad is going down the same route. Only difference being that he knows theres a financial crash coming, and i guess the only way he can comfort himself right now is through buying a fast motor so he can live it up for a bit (he's a sucker for the girls). His mustache isnt doing it alone these days im afraid so he reckons getting a newer faster car will attract a newer faster woman (lol, i love that guy!). Each to their own i suppose. Im just about to sell my car, buy my own parachute and spend the rest of my days jumping off ridiculously high mountains, id rather die having fun then die in misery waiting for the inevitible crash thats heading our way. Why not like, heck, if the man upstairs wants me to be here he'll incarnate me again, nothing worse then waiting patiently for **** to happen, that will drive you nuts!


Sorry to hear about your chest problems, did you try looking into alternative treatments? From my own experience ive grown to understand that most illness are caused through unresolved mental issues. I'm no expert but it might help you a bit if you check out more 'alternative' treatments.

[Morphious]

I know exactly how you feel, I feel the same way. I cant talk to people anymore , it just seems pointless to conversate about stuff thats so mundane. Nothing intrests me much anymore. TV pfft yea right. Even this computer is getting old. BUT i like to hear everything that people say here and find out whats REALLY going on. blah....It's like im waiting for this HUge shift thats comming and boy, do i feel this BIG TIME ! I also feel very charged up with energy , so much so im burning out light bulbs all the time, they never burnt out before ...So i went to an old friends house ( friend of 20 + years) and we were talking and things were fine. I felt very energized when i was there and i think it was a bad time to go there. As we were chatting with a couple other people, He just out of no were started going off about somthing very unimportant, and got in my face and was yelling and almost got into a fight. After i got home and started thinkin about it i came to one conclusion, He was not ready to be around my energy at this time, it was to much for him to handle and he had to get rid of it somehow. This is what i think happend, because he never had got in my face like that before(weird) indeed ! At night i feel like someone is standing there all the time watching me. Just thought i would throw that out there. It's very scary to me as i dont know who or what it is. I have tryied talking with it , them , him , her , whatever it is but get nothing...thats a little of whats going on here ! cheers !

[Bobcat]

Hiya Irving and a warm welcome to you friend,

Tight lines and peace

[deepblu777]

I feel it a lot, too. The only people I know and can converse on these subjects with are my husband and one of my daughters.
I have 2 other daughters, one doesn't really want to hear any of it and the other gets it and can take a little, but they're busy beginning their lives (college, work, relationships) so I understand their attachment to this reality. When I was thier age and building my life, I wasn't interested in changing my reality either.
My sister lost her husband unexpectedly in February, his father in July and his sister is expected to die any day now (brain tumor). She has the general knowledge of this 'coruption' but to her the details are depressing and annoying. I've tried to make her understand that knowlegde/knowing is not depressing. Yes, facts can be disturbing (sometimes it took a day or two to assimilate and adjust to the new info) but who wants 'ignorance is bliss'? How can you know how important it is to act with love in all things if you don't know all the things you can?
I started my 'search for knowing' in July, 2007. It all started on a boring summer night, nothing on t.v. but reruns. I got on the web and thought 'I wonder what's new with the U.F.O. conspiracy?' I always knew they weren't telling us everything about that, but I had no idea of what I was opening myself up to. I ended up listening to lectures, interviews, documentaries, read some papers and books. I listened to researchers, journalists, engineers, physicists, doctors, a few politicians/preachers, witnesses...everybody! It was quickly clear to me that the only way I could develope my understanding/truth was to listen to as many perspectives as I could. I've calculated that I've probablly spent over 2000 hours at this point in my search to understand. This is nothing compared to the time these people spent, some of them-years of their lives, to research these subjects so they could pass the information on to people like me. I'm very grateful to them for that because there's no way I could know this much by myself.
So, now I find myself with one foot in one reality and one in the other, trying to keep my balance. I know the love, tolerance and understanding I put out is the most important thing I have to contribute so I try to keep that focus. But I do feel a gulf of separation on awareness with the people I work with, friends I talk to. I'm not of their world and they're not of mine...yet.
When I'm feeling unmotivated, I work on my art. It makes me happy to create and I contemplate deeply when I'm 'in the zone'. I keep putting out the good/positive energy even though I don't know who's out there picking it up, because it doesn't matter who gets it, only that I put it out there. And when I have the opportunity, I speak the truth that I know. Sometimes it falls on deaf ears but I think sometimes I plant a seed. I hope!
I hope I love I dream I care....I'm grateful!
And I'm not unaware anymore...
Oh yea, wierd stuff....my husband, daughter and I - all noticing weird/different little things...are any of you having interupted sleep as well?
p.s. I am also grateful to find 'abby normal' folks here, loving you all!

[deepblu777]

MORPHIOUS - - -
I can relate to your incident. When I tried to talk to my brother about this the first time, he got so angry with me. I couldn't believe it! Where did that come from? I realized... it was fear.
In a later conversation, he seemed to have come around a little. He's a trucker and the whole 'North American Union'/Mexican truck driver issues were finally getting around to him. He's less able to close his eyes now.

[recallone]

Originally Posted by Morphious

...So i went to an old friends house ( friend of 20 + years) and we were talking and things were fine. I felt very energized when i was there and i think it was a bad time to go there. As we were chatting with a couple other people, He just out of no were started going off about somthing very unimportant, and got in my face and was yelling and almost got into a fight. After i got home and started thinkin about it i came to one conclusion, He was not ready to be around my energy at this time, it was to much for him to handle and he had to get rid of it somehow.

Originally Posted by deepblu777

MORPHIOUS - - -
I can relate to your incident. When I tried to talk to my brother about this the first time, he got so angry with me. I couldn't believe it! Where did that come from? I realized... it was fear.
In a later conversation, he seemed to have come around a little. He's a trucker and the whole 'North American Union'/Mexican truck driver issues were finally getting around to him. He's less able to close his eyes now.

While dreams have become more intense for many people, mine are still a bit nebulous. However, I am receiving definite impressions from my dreams that carry on into the day. Call it guidance, a mantra, I don't know.
These two responses made it clear that I should share the experience and phrase that stuck with me just the other day.

The message is not for everyone.

That's it. Many of us are frustrated when loved ones refuse to hear the information that we're trying to give them, but again - the message is not for everyone. Let he who hath ears listen...
Not everyone is ready for the kind of information we bat around so easily in these forums. It's okay to be at peace while others don't know. Our job is to raise our vibration enough to make the leap a little more manageable for the rest who don't yet know. IMHO, that is.
Peace.

[fastarr]

Auto pilot is the perfect term. It is getting harder to stay involved in a world that has no meaning for me. Hence my personal struggle. My family and close friends (there are few), really keep things in perspective for me.

I love to talk to everyone, even strangers. Well mostly strangers. They always have interesting stories to tell. Most of those I know are always about the same thing. "What to buy", "Who's dating whom","Keeping up with the Jones", LAME. The conversations I enjoy the most are the one I have with myself. Where I sort through my crazy thoughts and ideas on a daily basis.


And on the sleep note: I haven't had steady sleep for over two years. I wake up all night. Still vividly dreaming though. I love to dream i would stay in bed and dream all day if I could.

[Angel in Disguise]

Ahhhhh... What a relief! I'm not alone

[LotusEarth]

I'm a public school teacher. And I detest it, like every job that i've had. You know the micromanagement, manipulation, worked to death. This is what we live for? It's such an empty feeling!! I feel like the bs of working and putting your life in a situation to make money, because this is what society requires of us, is the most negative and ridiculous thing that I've ever experienced. I've always wanted to be homeless, in the sense of not having to deal with triteness and b.s. of our so called reality. I discovered David Wilcock's website and then Camelot and the energy and connection is beyond belief. It's so powerful. I feel, that in someway this is where I belong. In this community, with the clouds, the universe, in the earth...I can't explain. I just feel it, very deeply. I feel that slowly, i'm starting to learn how to fend off things that really don't matter to me.
I'm so glad to be a part of this..... Whatever happens.... it's going to be a great ride!

Bless you all,


"The privedlege of a lifetime, is being who you are!"
-Joesph Campbell

[Spinner]

I can relate to what just about everyone here is saying. I am grateful for the internet and threads like this because if it weren't for forums like this, I would consider myself totally alone. I read in so many places how people feel just exactly like I do and yet when I go out into the public, people appear to be going on with their lives as if nothing in particular is going on with them or the world and I have learned to keep my mouth shut if I don't want to be treated like an oddball.

I totally relate to your feelings, being brought up in this prison factory world,where dont rock the boat is the accepted norm. But things are very definatly in a state of flux all across the board ,money slavery, ET contact , the illuminati becoming visible.Its a great time to be here now.
Love ' light

[merkabagirl]

Too bizarre ... ditto to all. Also been experiencing an unusual sort of ('ESP'?) ... when I look at certain people intently I get a 'felt sense' of how it feels to be in their body ... hard to describe ... kinda like when you touch someone's cut, injury or scab and you feel the pain rush? ... contact sensory feeling which I've felt with plants/trees a few times but not people ... anyway, just really feeling connected to a higher dimension at ease altho' sinking into pits of despair at other times ... out in quiet nature zone now and I feel i can literally swim in the stillness my senses deeper enlivened acute perception .... hold the light!

[lotusflower]

Where have all of you been my whole life? I can't agree with you all more. I too have felt alone, different, especially in regards to the types of conversations I enjoy. The mundane, everyday talk bores me...I can do it but hope that I can somehow turn it into a more meaningful conversation. In the recent days I have felt even more disconnected from people; especially friends at work. I have found myself going to lunch by myself and avoiding the small talk. I also have lost track or interest on doing the everyday things like, go the bank, pay bills, call back people who have called me. I don't know---does this all mean something in regards to ascension and awakening or can it just be a sympton of depression. When you think about it a lot of what we speak of is quite depressing. I have also become sick...some kind of stomach virus...not feeling too good all together, anyone out there who can relate????

[dolphin]

IRVING...hey i can completely relate. i'm a painter, moved to nyc to "make it" but feel very little motivation, when i look at the big picture. funny how i can't seem to meet people in person who resonnate the same. yes, mindless conversation just bores me and i used to socialize and go out a lot, but now all i want to do, is learn about other worlds and spend a lot of time reading info on the web.

i was sick a while back and can recommend a medical intuitive. she's really incredible. i know this sounds out there but she will muscle test you over the phone and your body will tell her what is wrong. based on that she puts you on a diet w homeopathic and supplements. she "cured" me when i had given up hope going to western doctors. and she's not expensive. Her name is Dr. Denice Moffat and she has a very informative website: www.naturalhealthtechniques.com. all of her contact info is there. good luck and keep your chin up!

you might also read, Louis Haye's book called You Can Heal your life. much about emotional spiritual root cause of illness.

[skatardude10]

I am feeling totally left out of the game right now and have been for a while... It is really disappointing. I will try my best to elaborate, and I would love all your thoughts on how to get back into it...

A few months ago I had been finding out more and more about everything, space/time, just, all the situations that are happening and the energy flowing inside me was insane... Even visually insane, I would wave my arms and see beams of sinusoidal light trailing, the visualizations of aliens, people waking up, the dreams were beyond lifelike and in many ways still are but it seems like the energy has COMPLETELY died off and now, in my town everything seems to be doing fine, gas prices are down, everyone has jobs, there are plenty of jobs open yet I am still looking for a job... But unlike a couple months ago when I was living in Florida, up here in Virginia everything is back to normal like it has always been, superficial... and most of the people around me are telling me to "take a break" from the "heavy thinking" and just "stop it for 6 months or so and settle in" referring to ANYTHING that is out of the line of society's superficial nonsense. If I take any political ideas ANY bit beyond what is presented in the mainstream news the people around me get depressed, anxious, angry, and emotional... even though what I am saying is not much different, just a bit broader spect than what they are used to.

It's just like, it seems like life is now FORCING me to settle into a superficial work 9-5 every day kind of lifestyle without any expansion... and Everything's fine! But what sucks the most is that it's getting harder and harder every day to envision anything ever changing... Before the energy flowing and the excitement was like, I can't wait! I love the world and Wow! But now, it's almost like there is a major part of me that doesn't want it to change... and I feel completely disconnected from everything you guys are saying and there hasn't been nearly any energy flowing, yet I still feel extremely disconnected from society... it's almost like I don't want ANYTHING to happen... Nothing... like, I want it all to end. I want some inspiration but unlike before it's like now I doubt I can even have any inspiration because I just cant visualize anything inspiring me I feel so disconnected from everything.

With that said, my dreams have slowly been getting weirder and more cynical, like last night I had a weird dream that some delivery truck guy was wheeling a bunch of old board games up to our house to give it to us for some reason, and while wheeling it up someone "Jacked" his truck, drove it down the street and a family member went out and a decapitated head flew through the window and took off his head... and everything just was weird and nasty and dark, and other dreams where there were tons of people working around warehouses / 7-11 for extremely low pay... and everything was extremely dilapidated... I don't like this type of visualization...

Any help, any suggestions, any way to get back inspiration would be GREATLY appreciated...

p.s... I have been trying alot lately to focus on the positive side of things... maybe since I have stopped paying attention to the negative things I have offset the balance so I am now subconsciously manifesting the negative to balance things out? What do I do? Consciously focus on positive and let negativity flow? Or consciously focus on the negative and let positivity inspirations flow? It's so confusing. I apologize for ranting, this game is crazy and I pray I don't miss any critical moments and am ready when the time is right.

[skatardude10]

Nevermind... I guess I just want things to happen! After watching the huge 7000 mile long radiation thing on google earth on the eve of the 14th... I can't wait to see and feel like something is bound to happen! :-)

Mods may delete my posts.

[joet1980]

Just gonna put my 2 cents in that I have never felt worse in my life than this point in time. I have lost all hope in anything.

[sylph16]

My mom always told me, i was a lost soul....that is when she had time too...i am the oldest of 7....

I grew up poor, i was always and will ever be a day-dreamer, a sky-watcher and searching for myself. I LOVE animals and all of nature, i dream of flying on the wings of the hawks that live on the land we live on...

When i was 4, i asked my mother when the ship was coming back for me...she told my father what i said. When i went to bed that night there was a lit picture of Jesus hanging on the wall...his eyes followed my every move...shortly after the picture was hung on the wall in my room...the little men showed up in the closet...they would peek at me through the slightly open door, eyes glowing...and huge grins with lots of teeth adorned their faces....my brother would hide under his bed...

Strangely, i can't remember much more of my early childhood...where did the memories go?

To make a long story short, i made quite a specticle of myself until i lost my energy, i was convinced i would rather burn out then fade away...the last 5 years have changed my life...i finally realized, even though all always knew, something/everything is out of whack....especially me...i grew up just in time.

I am very grateful for this forum and all of you...i feel blessed to have been led to Kerry and Bill....i know i will be ok....and so will you...after all i firmly believe in the 6 degrees of seperation theory and I KNOW we are ALL connected...I am, we should be in bliss about that!

peace

sylph

[Reveling John]

Originally Posted by Jacqui D

Well here we go again, go to bed, get up, do the daily grind;

Help i want to get off!!!!

Me, too.

Sometimes I wonder if none of this is happening. I mean, I look for phenomena and changes and synchronicities.....well, I find it, but is it there because I'm looking for it?

Probably, but does that make it less real? Don't know.

Don't really know what 'real' is. Ultimately I am just as emotion driven and blind to my destination as most other human beings. I do know that Love is a constant catalyst for me. I love that word and I love that feeling and I love telling people how important it is.

When I'm talking about Love it all sounds REAL.