Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i beg...

[mu2143]

And 2012 movie bloopers....
http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/5192...an_de_dag.html

[Tango]

AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa.... Did ya ever notice Pelocei [sp] the same way... If she smiles her breasts actually move up...

Bwahahahahahahahaha.........

Tango

Originally Posted by Wormhole

Q: Why do aliens always look expressionless, unemotional and stoic?

A: Thousands of years of Botox and plastic surgery. That's why they are here, to get our Botox. Just try it, you too could look like a Gray!

[Tango]

Now THAT'S funny.... I can hear that in MY head.... Oh, very funny Video...

Ooooo, U got NO boyfriend..... That whole thingy is funny....

Trooly,


Tango

Originally Posted by Karen

Tango we need to balance this out with a little ChickComedy.

The nail salon part reminds me of when my mom and I go to the Chinese restaurant and the little owner lady comes over to visit with us.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=baDJ-ZIvYy0

[Tango]

Karen... LOL... These two are a Hoot.....

Originally Posted by Karen

Absolutely hilarious dance act.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gHvATmUsSg
Stavros Flatly - Greek Irish Dancers - Britains Got Talent 2009

[Tango]

Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie? They went to see "Closed for the Winter."
***************
Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children? She heard that one out of every four children born in the world was Chinese....
***************
Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall? There was a power outage, and twelve blondes were stuck on the escalators for over four hours.
****************
A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?" The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first."
****************
A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses. The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye while covering the right eye.. The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which that the eye doctor, in disgust, took a paper lunch bag with a hole to see through, covered up the appropriate eye and asked her to read the letters. As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her face. "Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get emotional about getting glasses." "I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my heart set on wire frames.
****************
A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought it over to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, "That's a thermos . . . it keeps some things hot and some things cold" "Wow, said the blonde, "that's amazing. I'm going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk.
"What do you have there?" he asked.
"Why, that's a thermos . . . it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold," she replied.
Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it? "
The blond replied, "Two Popsicles, and some coffee".

*************** (My personal favorite... )....Golf Balls:
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls, and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls".
Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
************************************************** ***
This will make all you technologically challenged people feel GOOD.
A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife, Susie, something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell phone. He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features. Susie was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new phone. The next day Susie went shopping. Her phone rang and, to her astonishment, it was her husband on the other end. "Hi Susie," he said, "how do you like your new phone?" Susie replied, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell, but there's one thing I don't understand though.." "What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband.. "How did you know I was at Walmart?"


Subject: The Blonde and the Lord
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice.
After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole. Again from the heavens the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
The blonde, now worried, moved away, clear down to the opposite end of the ice. She set up her stool once more and tried again to cut her hole.
The voice came once more, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."
She stopped, looked skyward, and said, " IS THAT YOU LORD?"
The voice replied, "NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE HOCKEY RINK"


Trooly,


Tango

[Swanny]

Here are a couple of funny clips that will bring a tear to your eyes


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_Jt_g10Jug

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1w3evmb-z4Y

[burgundia]

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_pSGOzzxKH5...h/P1250537.jpg

[mu2143]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBwIRq_hmjg

[lindabaker]

"Never let a crackhead sing at your funeral" Please watch it to the end...it gets even better.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOHCQ7EmmyA

[micjer]

Silent but Deadly


An elderly couple was attending church services. About halfway through she leans over and says, "I just had a silent fart .. what do you think I should do?"

He replies "Put a new battery in your hearing aid!"

[Luminari]

Originally Posted by TheObserver

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.



If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?

[micjer]

[QUOTE=Swanny;176824]Here are a couple of funny clips that will bring a tear to your eyes


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_Jt_g10Jug

QUOTE]


You were right. The worst thing was my wife had gone to bed and I had to control my laughter. That was frickin hilarious!!!

[Karen]

This is for you Tango:

THE FIRST BLOND GUY JOKE

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work high up on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building..

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The blonde opened his lunch and said, " Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.

The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well..

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said, "Don't look at me. The idiot makes his own lunch."

[Tango]

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said, "Don't look at me. The idiot makes his own lunch."

Well, it is true I made My own lunch... I, really like corned beef, and Mexican
isn't to die for... But, I do so love Blond jokes...

ahahahahahaha.





Sniff;sniff I still smell Damn Fish...

[iainl140285]

A blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these
> blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid. So, she
> decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.
>
> While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to
> paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her
> husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.
>
> Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of
> paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the
> floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a heavy
> parka and a leather jacket at the same time. He goes over and asks
> her if she if OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing and she
> replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are
> dumb, and she wanted to do it by painting the house.
>
> He then asks her why she has a parka over her leather
> jacket. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint
> can and it said...
>
>
>
>
>
> You'll love
> this...
>
>
> Yep. I know you will...
>
>
>
>
>
>
> "FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO
> COATS."

[Luminari]

[Luminari]

[waitinginthewings]

At the dentist

The dentist pulls out a numbing needle to give the man a shot..

'No way! No needles. I hate needles' the patient said.

The dentist starts to hook up the nitrous oxide and the man objects.

'I can't do the gas thing The thought of having the gas mask on is

suffocating me!'

The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objection to taking a

pill. 'No objection,' the patient says. 'I'm fine with pills.'


The dentist then returns and says, 'Here's a Viagra tablet.'

The patient says, 'Wow! I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain

killer!'

It doesn't' said the dentist, 'but it's going to give you

something to hold on to when I pull your tooth!

[waitinginthewings]

A conversation between a Canadian & an American

A Canadian man was having coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a

diner when an American man, chewing gum, sat down next to him. The

Canadian ignored the American, who, nevertheless, started up a

conversation.

The American snapped his gum and said, "You Canadian folks eat the whole bread?"


The Canadian frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast,

and replied, "Of course." The American blew a huge bubble. "We don't.

In the States, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a

container, recycle them, transform them into croissants and sell them to

Canada."

The American had a smirk on his face. The Canadian listened in silence.

The American persisted. "D'ya eat jelly with the bread?" Sighing, the

Canadian replied, "Of course." Cracking his gum between his teeth, the

American said "We don't. In the States, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast,

then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them,

transform them into jam and sell it to Canada."

The Canadian then asked, "Do you have sex in the States?" The

smiled and said, "Why of course we do."

The Canadian leaned closer to him and asked, "And what do you do with the

condoms once you've used them?" "We throw them away, of course."Now it

was the Canadian's turn to smile. "We don't. In Canada, we put them in a

container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to

the United States."

[Tango]

Oh.... These were all sooo funny... Damn, I've got tears running down my face...


I can't stop laffing.... Holy sfit.... LOL... ROFL..... OOOOOOOooooooHahahaha

TTTTttttttoooooo Funny.......

Tango

[lindabaker]

-

[Tango]

We miss Rodney Dangerfield because he said,That I remember:

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used

me to time an egg.

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips,

yet she won't drink from my glass!

Last night my wife met me at the front door.. She was wearing a

sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.

A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I

went over. Nobody was home!

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

I went to a massage parlor. It was self-service.

If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.

I was making love to this girl and she started crying.. I said,

'Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?' She said, 'No, I

hate myself now.'

I knew a girl so ugly... they used her in prisons to cure sex

offenders.

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the

kitchen the roaches hang themselves.

I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for

mooning.

The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked

him, 'Why?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.

I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the

Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex; she called me from

Chicago last night.


AND, ONE LAST ONE:

My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I
wouldn't have had anything to play with.

That was Rodney Dangerfield..........



Tango " Shaken The Boot-Tay."

[Tango]

Time for an enforcement Joke......


A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the Pennsylvania State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I bet you're going to sell me a ticket to the State Troopers Ball.' He replied ' Pennsylvania State Troopers don't have balls."

There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what he'd just said. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left. She, was laughing too hard to start her car........

A moment of silence for the PST as they figure it out...

Trooly,

Tango

[Tango]

Ya... You wanna do something about it......

http://media.mtvnservices.com/video/...ef=None&geo=US

I'm at the Coffee Shop Come on down here...


Trooly,


Tango

[no caste]

I get a lot of laughs from this thread! (But I'm NOT a good joke teller, except for the one I posted way back the 'cops are stupid' Mexico getaway video {policia de mexico muy estupida which is now removed} (about a 1 min. street vid clip of a bank robbery in Mexico)

Gotta love George Carlin

Tango, I checked this link
http://www.americanrantnetwork.com/V...eo.asp?VTrooly,

but all I got was ... nothing. However I kept clicking hoping for something - then I thought, hmmm, maybe I could morse code communicate through the clicking that yields nothing in the way of results or sounds or video... 'cept I don't know morse code.

The second one:
http://media.mtvnservices.com/video/...ef=None&geo=US
I get this message: This video is currently not available in your country.