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Old 07-09-2009, 12:04 PM   #1
rhythm
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Default Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i beg...

OK i admit i pinched this line from Gemeos ()

and when i saw it i thought this would make

a good fun thread ...

i cant do pics yet or up load u tube vids yet..give me a break...

me teacher is havin a break dance

but i know lots of you loverlys can

so bring em on gang

and make my day ....... .....
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Old 07-09-2009, 12:43 PM   #2
rhythm
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Come on now dont be shy

i put you on my christmas card list if your the

first post here .... who could refuse me
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Old 07-09-2009, 12:54 PM   #3
rhythm
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Quote:
Originally Posted by rhythm View Post
Come on now dont be shy

i put you on my christmas card list if your the

first post here .... who could refuse me
while im waiting:em ot-sad:: drink_nl::drinks_wi ne:
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Old 07-09-2009, 01:13 PM   #4
micjer
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Pit Bull...

A woman was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her were 200 women walking single file. The woman couldn't stand the curiosity. She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"

The woman replied, "Well, that first hearse is for my husband."

"What happened to him?"

The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."

She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"

The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women. "Can I borrow the dog?"

"Get in line!"
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Old 07-09-2009, 01:17 PM   #5
micjer
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be







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Old 07-09-2009, 01:25 PM   #6
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

"Lizard Birth"

If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome, including toilet flush burials for dead goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out LOUD!

Overview: I had to take my son's lizard to the vet. Here's what happened:

Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room. "He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious, Dad. Can you help?"

I put my best lizard-healer expression on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.

"Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!"

"Oh, my gosh!" my wife exclaimed. "She's having babies."

"What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!"

I was equally outraged. "Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I said accusingly to my wife.

"Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired (I think she actually said this sarcastically! )

"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth).

Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.

"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she informed me (Again with the sarcasm!).

By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it."Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience," I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth."

"Oh, gross!" they shrieked

Well, isn't THAT just great? What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little lizard babies?" my wife wanted to know.

We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later. "We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted.

"It's breech," my wife whispered, horrified.

"Do something, Dad!" my son urged.

"Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.

"Should I call 911?" my eldest daughter wanted to know. "Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)

"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly. We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap.

"Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged.

"I don't think lizards do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb. The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass. "What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically.

"Oh, very interesting, " he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?" I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside. "Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.

"Oh, perfectly," the vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen. . . Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um . . um . . . **********. Just the way he did, lying on his back." He blushed, glancing at my wife.

We were silent, absorbing this.

"So, Ernie's just . just . . excited," my wife offered.

"Exactly," the vet replied , relieved that we understood.

More silence. Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly. "What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.

Tears were now running down her face. "It's just .that . . I'm picturing you pulling on its . its. . . teeny little . ... " She gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.

"That's enough," I warned. We thanked the vet and hurriedly bundled the lizard and our son back into the car..

He was glad everything was going to be okay.

"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you did, Dad," he told me.

"Oh, you have NO idea," my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.

Two lizards: $140. One cage: $50. Trip to the vet: $30.

Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's winkie:

Priceless!

Moral of the story: Pay attention in biology class. Lizards lay eggs!

Last edited by sleepingnomore; 07-09-2009 at 01:29 PM.
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Old 07-09-2009, 01:25 PM   #7
Luminari
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Talking Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

There's a blonde on one side of a big river and a brunette on the other. The brunette yells across to the blonde, "hey, how do I get to the other side?". The blonde rolls her eyes and says, "you ARE on the other side!"

There Was A Bear and a rabbit doing a **** in the woods, and the bear asked the rabbit do you have a problem with **** sticking to your fur the rabbit said No i dont why do you ask?
The bear said oh no reason and 5 seconds later he picked up the rabbit and wiped his ass with the rabbit.

Camel and an Elephant are having a conversation. The elephant says to the camel, "why have you got two boobs on your back?", and the camel says "well thats pretty rich coming from someone that has a dick on his face".
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Old 07-09-2009, 01:37 PM   #8
iainl140285
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Quote:
Originally Posted by Luminari View Post
[
Camel and an Elephant are having a conversation. The elephant says to the camel, "why have you got two boobs on your back?", and the camel says "well thats pretty rich coming from someone that has a dick on his face".
[/SIZE]
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Old 07-09-2009, 01:38 PM   #9
iainl140285
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train set in the living room.

She heard the train stop and her son saying, 'All of You b*****ds who want off, get off now, 'cos we're in a hurry! And all of you b*****ds who are getting on, get on now, 'cos we're going down the tracks'.

The horrified mother went in and told her son, 'We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and stay there for TWO HOURS.
When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language.'

Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say,
'All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you.
We thank you for travelling with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one.'

She hears the little boy continue,

'For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train.
We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.'

As the mother began to smile, the child added..........

'For those of you who are ****** off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the fat controller in the kitchen.
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Old 07-09-2009, 01:46 PM   #10
Unified Serenity
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Carol Burnett (watch the whole thing...you'll be crying from laughter)
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Old 07-09-2009, 01:50 PM   #11
micjer
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKeuq...eature=related

Bob Hope, Dean Martin on The Tonight Show


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsEkR...eature=related
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Old 07-09-2009, 02:17 PM   #12
rhythm
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

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hey micjer you are on my christmas card list
and yes i ammm LAUGHIN
YOU MAD LOT ... keep em comin !!!!!
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Old 07-09-2009, 02:19 PM   #13
Unified Serenity
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Stonehenge
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Old 07-09-2009, 02:30 PM   #14
rhythm
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

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how true throw in some laughter

see love giggle !!!!
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Old 07-09-2009, 02:35 PM   #15
Dantheman62
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

http://projectavalon.net/forum/showthread.php?t=1678
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Old 07-09-2009, 02:40 PM   #16
rhythm
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

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YES DAN plenty laughs there mate
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Old 07-09-2009, 02:42 PM   #17
rhythm
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

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Quote:
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hillarious !!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 07-09-2009, 04:02 PM   #18
Gemeos
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Thanks rhythm for opening this thread, with due respect to Antaletriangle who already opened a thread with the same intentions.



Love, Laugh and enjoy Life!

gemeos
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Old 07-09-2009, 05:22 PM   #19
rhythm
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

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Thanks rhythm for opening this thread, with due respect to Antaletriangle who already opened a thread with the same intentions.



Love, Laugh and enjoy Life!

gemeos
Well yes im sure Avalon can stand two threads

with a humor base .... and Ant hasnt been on Avalon for

quite some time , so lets not loose our sense of humor
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Old 07-09-2009, 05:54 PM   #20
metaw3
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

http://failblog.org/2009/07/09/house-design-fail/
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Old 07-09-2009, 06:25 PM   #21
rhythm
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

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thanks Dan ...as

... Ant not here eny more it seems lets keep the humor

going ... there is some class stuff on the thread .tho..

im sure there is room for plenty more humor

living loving laughing service... rhythmmm ...
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Old 07-09-2009, 07:55 PM   #22
micjer
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

An Inspirational Story


Recently I was asked to play in a golf tournament.

At first I said, 'Naaahhh!'

Then they said to me 'Come on, it's for handicapped
and blind Kids.'

Then I thought...







Shxt - I could win this!'
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Old 07-09-2009, 07:55 PM   #23
Carmen
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

And first prize goes to sleepingnomore!!
Your lizard joke is priceless, had tears rolling down my cheeks. I resonating to the wife, I think we share the same brand of sarcasm!!!

Cheers

Carmen
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Old 07-09-2009, 08:01 PM   #24
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

Thank you Carmen, it's one of my favorites! I was hoping to get rhythm to roll on the floor laughing!
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Old 07-09-2009, 08:10 PM   #25
rhythm
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Default Re: Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i be

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Thank you Carmen, it's one of my favorites! I was hoping to get rhythm to roll on the floor laughing!
rhythmmm
:rol l1::ro ll1::lol3 :
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