Able to laugh put it here on this thread if you are ...yes make me laugh , i beg...

[Christo888]

Wow that Christo sounds like a real s.o.b.

Hey Tango... so can we go interview Cameron?

[Tango]

*

[Tango]

My kinda Guy


You got to love this guy... This is a true story about a recent
wedding that took place at Clemson University . It was in the
local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it.

It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.

After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on
stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he
wanted to thank

everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support
them at their wedding.

He especially wanted to thank the bride's and his family and

to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.

As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him.

So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party was an envelope.

He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope.
Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man.

The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them.

After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes,
he turned to the best man and said, '*** you!' Then he turned to his bride and said, '*** you very much !'

Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, 'I'm outta here.'

He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning.

While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this
guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong..

His revenge--making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300-guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of 300 friends and family members.

This guy has balls the size of church bells.

Do you think we might get a MasterCard 'priceless' commercial out of this

Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends: $32,000.

Wedding photographs commemorating the Occasion: $3,000

Deluxe two-week honeymoon accommodations in Maui : $8,500.

The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping the best man: Priceless. [Wink.


Trooly


Tango

[Tango]

Doubles. Snipers. I didn't have a coupon.

[peaceandlove]

How to Kiss: Gradual Practice Tips



Video (3:45): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bT8nS...eature=related

[Tango]

Oh... To hell with the Kissing...


I'll take THAT basket of Fruit... MMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmm.

Would that be Juicy Fruit.... Bwahahahahahahahahaha

Hey... PaL That was really, really funny. I loved it... Thank you.

Tango

Originally Posted by peaceandlove

How to Kiss: Gradual Practice Tips



Video (3:45): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bT8nS...eature=related

[Dantheman62]

Anger Management

When you occasionally have a really bad day,


and you just need to take it out on someone,


don't take it out on someone you know,


take it out on someone you don't know,


but you know deserves it.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered


a phone call I'd forgotten to make.

I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying


'Hello.'

I politely said,


'This is Chris.


Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear


'Get the right f***ing number!'


and the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her,


I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her,


I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled


'You're an as...hole!'


and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'as...hole' next to it,


and put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks,


when I was paying bills or had a really bad day,


I'd call him up and yell,


'You're an as...hole!'

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced,


I thought my therapeutic 'as...hole'


calling would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said,


'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company.


I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?'

He yelled


'NO!'


and slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said,


'That's because you're an as...hole!'


and hung up.

One day I was at the store,


getting ready to pull into a parking Spot.

Some guy in a black BMW


cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for.

I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot,


but the idiot ignored me.

I noticed a 'For Sale ' sign in his back window,


so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later,


right after calling the first as...hole


(I had is number on speed dial,)


I thought that I'd better call the BMW as...hole, too.

I said,


'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'

He said,


'Yes, it is.'

I then asked,


'Can you tell me where I can see it?'

He said,


'Yes, I live at 234 Oaktree Blvd , in Waveland


It's a yellow cottage style house and the car's parked right out in front.'

I asked,


'What's your name?'

He said,


'My name is Don Hansen,'

I asked,


'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'

He said,


'I'm home every evening after five.'

I said,


'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'

He said,


'Yes?'

I said,


'Don, you're an as...hole!'

Then I hung up,


and added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem,


I had two as...hole's to call.

Then I came up with an idea...

I called as...hole #1.

He said,


'Hello.'

I said,


'You're an as...hole!'


(But I didn't hang up.)

He asked,


'Are you still there?'

I said,


'Yeah!'

He screamed,


'Stop calling me,'

I said,


'Make me,'

He asked,


'Who are you?'

I said,


'My name is Don Hansen.'

He said,


'Yeah? Where do you live?'

I said,


'as...hole, I live at 234 Oaktree Blvd , in Waveland ,


a yellow cottage style home and


I have a black Beamer parked in front.'

He said,


'I'm coming over right now, Don.


And you had better start saying your prayers.'

I said,


'Yeah, like I'm really scared, as...hole,'


and hung up.

Then I called as...hole #2.

He said,


'Hello?'

I said,


'Hello, as...hole,'

He yelled,


'If I ever find out who you are...'

I said,


'You'll what?'

He exclaimed,


'I'll kick your ass,'


I answered,


'Well, as...hole, here's your chance.


I'm coming over right now.'

Then I hung up and immediately called the police,


saying that I lived at 234 Oaktree Blvd , in Waveland ,


and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 13 News


about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd in Waveland .

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Waveland!!

I got there just in time to watch two as...holes


beating the sh..t out of each other


in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter


and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.

This anger management stuff works great!

[Tango]

Dan.......

YOU just made My Flocking day... I am NOW a happy
Man.

Tango

[micjer]

Dan you really are the man.

Awesome

[Seth Haniel]

One day the old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.


The old German Shepherd thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep trouble now!' Noticing20some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder, if there are any more around here?'


Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew!' says the leopard, 'That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!'


Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes, but the old German Shepherd sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up...


The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.


The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!


Now, the old German Shepherd sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German
Shepherd says...
'Where's that monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!


Moral of this story...

Don't mess with the old dogs... age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery! Brilliance only comes with age and experience.

[Tango]

Waving My arm's like Kerry.... I did... Sorry, I've been busy; Healing

N' posting stuff..... sorry, I missed it at first.

Originally Posted by waitinginthewings

Geez......no one like the joke I posted......ok. I laughed all the way through it.

[Christo888]

The difference between 5th dimension and 3rd dimension.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BFbl...eature=related

[Dantheman62]

THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER

This one is a little different... Two Different Versions! Two Different
Morals!

OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances
and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the
cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!




MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances
and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference
and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well
fed while others are cold and starving.

MSNBC, CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures
of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his

comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by

the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and
everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant 's house
where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.'
Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's
sake.

Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King
that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both
call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair
share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper
Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of
green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his
home is confiscated by the government.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last
bits of the ants food while the government house he is in, which just
happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he
doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the
house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize
the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: BE CAREFUL HOW YOU VOTE IN 2010!

[Tango]

How I learned to mind my own business...


Sooo, I was walking past the mental hospital the other day,

And all those patients were shouting, " 13....13....13."

The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a

Little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see

Just What the hell was Really going on.....

Some ' A$$hole ' poked me in the eye with a stick!

Then, those A$$holes all started shouting " 14....14....14..."

And, That's how I learned how to mind My own business...


I, hope YOU now have learned to mind your own business...


Trooly,


Tango

[burgundia]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFz8F9-kz80
cat owners will understand....

[morguana]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1qHVVbYG8Y


bou x

[burgundia]

Thank you bou..that series is so funny...and so true about the nature of cats....

[burgundia]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s13dL...eature=channel

[waitinginthewings]

Originally Posted by burgundia

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFz8F9-kz80
cat owners will understand....

eventhough I'm not a cat person, that was funny.....tks.

[Tango]

SEVEN KINDS OF SEX Hope I'm Not breaking the Rules......

Results of recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex.

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. * This kind of sex happens
when you first meet someone, and you both have sex until you are
blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. * This is when you have
been with your partner for a short time, and you are so needy you
will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. * This is when you have
been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten
routine ,and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex * This is when you have
been with your partner for tooo long. When you pass each other in
the hallway you both say 'screw you.'

The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex. * Which means you get
Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night. (Very Popular)

The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex. * This is when you cannot
stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in
front of everyone.

And; Last, but not least, The 7th kind of sex is called:

Social Security Sex.

* You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy yourself.

PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO TELL ME WHAT STAGE YOU ARE IN......


Please,


Tango

[Tango]

Man Dies While At Golf Course.

A foursome of guys is waiting at the men's tee while a foursome of women is hitting from the ladies' tee. The ladies are taking their time. When the final lady is ready to hit her ball, she hacks it 10 feet. Then she goes over and whiffs it completely. Then she hacks it another ten feet, and finally hacks it another five feet.

She looks up at the patiently waiting men and says apologetically, "I guess all those f--king lessons I took over the winter didn't help..."

One of the men immediately responds, "Well, there you have it, you should have taken golf lessons instead!"

He never even had a chance to duck .

[Swanny]

Hotel cooking??

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMhQc8T7tqQ

Sorry but no idea how to post a youtube link so that it shows up in here in a nice little box, so you'll just have to click on that instead

[Tango]

It doesn't.... We have to trust you... N' I trust you, Swanny cause your always
chasing that Wabbit [chuckle]

Originally Posted by Swanny

Hotel cooking??

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMhQc8T7tqQ

Sorry but no idea how to post a youtube link so that it shows up in here in a nice little box, so you'll just have to click on that instead

[rhythm]

Hey guys thanks for all the funnis

yep rhythmmms been

able to laugh!!!

[rhythm]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOEf6s7azLA