THE PiSSing PEOPLE off thread -- this is a must read

THE eXchanger · 11-26-2009, 06:35 PM

Tim Ferriss - The Benefits of Pissing People Off

The Benefits of Pissing People Off

“To avoid criticism,
do nothing,
say nothing,
and be nothing.”

– Elbert Hubbard (source: uberzombie)

Right alongside the cash and credit cards,
I keep a number of strange things in my wallet.

The largest is a folded-up page from the July 6, 2009 issue
of Fortune magazine.

In a profile, Scott Boras,
widely regarded as the most powerful agent in professional baseball, describes a dinner with one of his mentors
after a record-breaking contract:

“He said that if you are really effective at what you do,
95% of the things said about you will be negative.

Keep your head on straight,
don’t get emotional,
take the heat,
and just make sure your clients are smiling.”

Doing anything remotely interesting will bring criticism.

Attempting to do anything large-scale
and interesting will bring armies of detractors and saboteurs.

This is fine – if you are willing to take the heat.

There are good reasons to be willing, even eager.

Colin Powell makes the case:
pissing people off is both inevitable and necessary.

This doesn’t mean that the goal is pissing people off.

Pissing people off doesn’t mean you’re doing the right things,
but doing the right things will almost inevitably **** people off.

Understand the difference.

Being responsible sometimes means pissing people off.

Good leadership involves responsibility to the welfare of the group,
which means that some people will get angry
at your actions and decisions.

It’s inevitable, if you’re honorable.

Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity:

you’ll avoid the tough decisions,
you’ll avoid confronting the people who need to be confronted,
and you’ll avoid offering differential rewards based on
differential performance
because some people might get upset.

Ironically, by procrastinating on the difficult choices,
by trying not to get anyone mad,
and by treating everyone equally “nicely” regardless of their contributions, you’ll simply ensure that the only people
you’ll wind up angering are the most creative and productive people
in the organization. (full presentation ---

http://www.slideshare.net/guesta3e20...p-presentation ) or see link, at bottom of posting

Don’t go through life with kid gloves on.
The stakes are too high,
and it is oftentimes more important to give people
what they need, rather than what they want.

This includes ourselves.

By facing the fire early and often,
we ensure the confidence and breathing room later
to do bigger and better things.

Or to just sit back in a hammock
with the peace of mind that only comes with belief
that you did your best.

Be criticized for doing small “safe” things,
or be criticized for doing big things that you’re passionate about.

That is the choice.

The criticism will come either way,
whether in the form of self-talk (the former)
or ankle biters (the latter).

Let the critics criticize. It’s the builders who count.

love
susan
the eXchanger

here is the presentation:

http://www.slideshare.net/guesta3e20...p-presentation

THE eXchanger · 11-26-2009, 06:37 PM

"Anyone who feels the need,
to whittle another person,
down in size, is simply trying to reduce, you,
TO THEIR SIZE"

SUSAN
THE eXchanger

Spiralmind · 11-26-2009, 06:54 PM

Honestly, I am more fearful of pissing off certain members of my family than anyone else. Family can be brutal at times.

THE eXchanger · 11-26-2009, 07:02 PM

you know,
the biggest lessons, i have learned in this lifetime,
came at the knees, of my mother ~ fortunately, i learned them
so, i will NOT ever have to repeat them, with her,
or, with someone else !!!

whatever you hate - or, whatever you depise,
will likely be on 'the hit parade' in your next lifetime !!!

(there is a big lesson, in those last two lines)

it also, might be noteable to:

that those, you really do NOT like to listen to,
often come baring, the greatest knowledge,
and, have gifts, that are NOT always presented to you,
in pretty little packages, with bow-ties

so - when something disturbs you,
it is a good idea, to verify, why !!!

and, it is always, and, in all ways wise
to trust - your gut !!!
as, well as,
YOUR lower minds, higher minds,
and, YOUR lower hearts, and, higher hearts

we are really all, quite complicated

albeit, many of the answers, are quite simple

GO CLEAR !!!

DISCOVER YOUR ZERO-POINT
by weighing the negatives,
and, the positives,
and, sliding it all into equitable balance
(where it truly is,
fair for all - that, is, what is, known as
GOOD WORK !!!

MOVING through THE CROSSROADS of ALL that you truly are !!!

love/susan
the eXchanger

11-26-2009, 08:19 PM

This is a good thread...makes you re-think about stuff (analyze, study, improve, implement)....

Also reminds me on what once someone said:

1/3 will love you
1/3 will hate you
1/3 just wont care

Which is everything but good since it is very (so I think) realistic and enables the thing we call politics.

Swanny · 11-27-2009, 12:15 AM

I try to ask questions/make statements that I know others are thinking, sometimes these **** people off, oh well that's life

THE eXchanger · 11-27-2009, 12:59 AM

This is amasing...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPqK1JJOFxw

how does he do it ???

Gnosis5 · 11-27-2009, 03:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spregovori

This is a good thread...makes you re-think about stuff (analyze, study, improve, implement)....

Also reminds me on what once someone said:

1/3 will love you
1/3 will hate you
1/3 just wont care

Which is everything but good since it is very (so I think) realistic and enables the thing we call politics.

Yes and sometimes one has to be sure to keep from having to live 24/7 with such people. I made a leap forward and now I'm a bit taken aback to discover certain people who I would never have predicted would react badly to the "new me". It is a reality adjustment for myself also. Giving up "old friends" who are no longer able to be accepting has its sad moments of reflection.

best,
Gnosis

Carmen · 11-27-2009, 05:37 AM

Gnosis, its when you start having to monitor what you talk about with old friends, and you can't be yourself (your new self) anymore.

Thats when you realize that you are just not frequency specific with that friend anymore. You have moved in consciousness. You try for awhile but it really doesnt work and you end up moving away from them or they become estranged from you.

Love

Carmen

orthodoxymoron · 11-27-2009, 05:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eXchanger

Pissing people off doesn’t mean you’re doing the right things,
but doing the right things will almost inevitably **** people off.

Understand the difference.

Being responsible sometimes means pissing people off.

Good leadership involves responsibility to the welfare of the group,
which means that some people will get angry
at your actions and decisions.

The above part of the quote was priceless. Pi$$ing people off is one of the services I provide...as some of you know all too well.

THE eXchanger · 11-27-2009, 07:20 AM

The neighbours don't like my santa

http://www.projectavalon.net/forum/p...pictureid=8006

Gnosis5 · 11-27-2009, 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carmen

Gnosis, its when you start having to monitor what you talk about with old friends, and you can't be yourself (your new self) anymore.

Thats when you realize that you are just not frequency specific with that friend anymore. You have moved in consciousness. You try for awhile but it really doesnt work and you end up moving away from them or they become estranged from you.

Love

Carmen

Hello Carmen, I see that at least someone on this forum can "duplicate" me, not that it's required because I seem to have a very high tolerance for aloneness, but it's also nice to occasionally have a "dancing partner" :-)

Here is the original link about Pissing People Off: http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog...saturated-fat/

I think Tim Ferris is a genius, one of my very very few role models.

My other role model is my clearing practitioner, and I am revving in a smarter and smarter crowd nowadays.

When one is married to someone who is not at present "frequency specific" it becomes a more delicate issue. Now that my marriage partner knows that some "games" will no longer play on me one can imagine the initial reaction. Fortunately I've learned to stay in the emotional tone of "boredom" which resonates at a frequency just slightly above the antagonism that is the reactive frequency coming at me.

It only gets hairy when I lose my center (usually when I am in the middle of running out a particularly hairy incident) and descend to the same win/lose games level.

So for the next year and a half it looks like I am going to get really good at "boredom". I feel deathly bored just contemplating my jail sentence. By the end of that time he plans to be "Clear". Then we can play more win/win games and have some real high adventures.

In the meantime I just have to restrain from gnawing on my leg that got caught in the trap. LOL Oh, I'm so funny when I'm funny :-)

love,
gnosis

Carmen · 11-27-2009, 09:25 PM

I will look at that link Gnosis and get back to you later with a reply. It is nice to find someone that sort of replicates our journey!

Love

Carmen

THE eXchanger · 12-01-2009, 08:00 PM

pet peeve...

changing the spelling in a name - is rude

yes, carmen, i agree,

it is gr8 to find others who resonate to the path you are on

it makes the trip, a 'real' journey

love

SUSAN
THE eXchanger

Céline · 12-01-2009, 09:10 PM

This thread has irked me since i first read it..

Though intellectually i understand what you mean...the society we have built around us sometimes demands "thinking outside the box".

and by treating everyone equally “nicely” regardless of their contributions, you’ll simply ensure that the only people you’ll wind up angering are the most creative and productive people in the organization.

I notice "nicely"is in quotations... this perhaps a little to general for me.. but i agree with the end result .

But..

I treat everyone nicely... whether it is while i am at a table of stylists, florists, clients etc..discussing a multitude of ideas ..or trying to do same on the spot parenting with some very wise teenagers , at the dinner table...

EVERYONE is treated nicely...but the more "creative and productive"people in the group will definitely get recognition for what they have "brought to the table

i hope i got my opinion across properly...

pissing people off...whether on purpose or NOT..is never a good outcome.

IMHO

11-26-2009, 06:35 PM	#1
THE eXchanger Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Spiritual eXplorer-Canada Posts: 4,915	THE PiSSing PEOPLE off thread -- this is a must read Tim Ferriss - The Benefits of Pissing People Off The Benefits of Pissing People Off “To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” – Elbert Hubbard (source: uberzombie) Right alongside the cash and credit cards, I keep a number of strange things in my wallet. The largest is a folded-up page from the July 6, 2009 issue of Fortune magazine. In a profile, Scott Boras, widely regarded as the most powerful agent in professional baseball, describes a dinner with one of his mentors after a record-breaking contract: “He said that if you are really effective at what you do, 95% of the things said about you will be negative. Keep your head on straight, don’t get emotional, take the heat, and just make sure your clients are smiling.” Doing anything remotely interesting will bring criticism. Attempting to do anything large-scale and interesting will bring armies of detractors and saboteurs. This is fine – if you are willing to take the heat. There are good reasons to be willing, even eager. Colin Powell makes the case: pissing people off is both inevitable and necessary. This doesn’t mean that the goal is pissing people off. Pissing people off doesn’t mean you’re doing the right things, but doing the right things will almost inevitably **** people off. Understand the difference. Being responsible sometimes means pissing people off. Good leadership involves responsibility to the welfare of the group, which means that some people will get angry at your actions and decisions. It’s inevitable, if you’re honorable. Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity: you’ll avoid the tough decisions, you’ll avoid confronting the people who need to be confronted, and you’ll avoid offering differential rewards based on differential performance because some people might get upset. Ironically, by procrastinating on the difficult choices, by trying not to get anyone mad, and by treating everyone equally “nicely” regardless of their contributions, you’ll simply ensure that the only people you’ll wind up angering are the most creative and productive people in the organization. (full presentation --- http://www.slideshare.net/guesta3e20...p-presentation ) or see link, at bottom of posting Don’t go through life with kid gloves on. The stakes are too high, and it is oftentimes more important to give people what they need, rather than what they want. This includes ourselves. By facing the fire early and often, we ensure the confidence and breathing room later to do bigger and better things. Or to just sit back in a hammock with the peace of mind that only comes with belief that you did your best. Be criticized for doing small “safe” things, or be criticized for doing big things that you’re passionate about. That is the choice. The criticism will come either way, whether in the form of self-talk (the former) or ankle biters (the latter). Let the critics criticize. It’s the builders who count. love susan the eXchanger here is the presentation: http://www.slideshare.net/guesta3e20...p-presentation

11-26-2009, 06:37 PM	#2
THE eXchanger Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Spiritual eXplorer-Canada Posts: 4,915	Re: THE PiSSing PEOPLE off thread -- this is a must read "Anyone who feels the need, to whittle another person, down in size, is simply trying to reduce, you, TO THEIR SIZE" SUSAN THE eXchanger

11-26-2009, 06:54 PM	#3
Spiralmind Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 60	Re: THE PiSSing PEOPLE off thread -- this is a must read Honestly, I am more fearful of pissing off certain members of my family than anyone else. Family can be brutal at times.

11-26-2009, 07:02 PM	#4
THE eXchanger Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Spiritual eXplorer-Canada Posts: 4,915	Re: THE PiSSing PEOPLE off thread -- this is a must read you know, the biggest lessons, i have learned in this lifetime, came at the knees, of my mother ~ fortunately, i learned them so, i will NOT ever have to repeat them, with her, or, with someone else !!! whatever you hate - or, whatever you depise, will likely be on 'the hit parade' in your next lifetime !!! (there is a big lesson, in those last two lines) it also, might be noteable to: that those, you really do NOT like to listen to, often come baring, the greatest knowledge, and, have gifts, that are NOT always presented to you, in pretty little packages, with bow-ties so - when something disturbs you, it is a good idea, to verify, why !!! and, it is always, and, in all ways wise to trust - your gut !!! as, well as, YOUR lower minds, higher minds, and, YOUR lower hearts, and, higher hearts we are really all, quite complicated albeit, many of the answers, are quite simple GO CLEAR !!! DISCOVER YOUR ZERO-POINT by weighing the negatives, and, the positives, and, sliding it all into equitable balance (where it truly is, fair for all - that, is, what is, known as GOOD WORK !!! MOVING through THE CROSSROADS of ALL that you truly are !!! love/susan the eXchanger

11-26-2009, 08:19 PM	#5
Spregovori Guest Posts: n/a	Re: THE PiSSing PEOPLE off thread -- this is a must read This is a good thread...makes you re-think about stuff (analyze, study, improve, implement).... Also reminds me on what once someone said: 1/3 will love you 1/3 will hate you 1/3 just wont care Which is everything but good since it is very (so I think) realistic and enables the thing we call politics.

11-27-2009, 12:15 AM	#6
Swanny I dont need a label ! Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: The Shire of Wilt Posts: 2,889	Re: THE PiSSing PEOPLE off thread -- this is a must read I try to ask questions/make statements that I know others are thinking, sometimes these **** people off, oh well that's life

11-27-2009, 12:59 AM	#7
THE eXchanger Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Spiritual eXplorer-Canada Posts: 4,915	Re: THE PiSSing PEOPLE off thread -- this is a must read This is amasing... www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPqK1JJOFxw how does he do it ???

11-27-2009, 05:37 AM	#9
Carmen Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: New Zealand Posts: 992	Re: THE PiSSing PEOPLE off thread -- this is a must read Gnosis, its when you start having to monitor what you talk about with old friends, and you can't be yourself (your new self) anymore. Thats when you realize that you are just not frequency specific with that friend anymore. You have moved in consciousness. You try for awhile but it really doesnt work and you end up moving away from them or they become estranged from you. Love Carmen

11-27-2009, 07:20 AM	#11
THE eXchanger Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Spiritual eXplorer-Canada Posts: 4,915	Re: THE PiSSing PEOPLE off thread -- this is a must read The neighbours don't like my santa http://www.projectavalon.net/forum/p...pictureid=8006

11-27-2009, 09:25 PM	#13
Carmen Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: New Zealand Posts: 992	Re: THE PiSSing PEOPLE off thread -- this is a must read I will look at that link Gnosis and get back to you later with a reply. It is nice to find someone that sort of replicates our journey! Love Carmen

12-01-2009, 08:00 PM	#14
THE eXchanger Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Spiritual eXplorer-Canada Posts: 4,915	Re: THE PiSSing PEOPLE off thread -- this is a must read pet peeve... changing the spelling in a name - is rude yes, carmen, i agree, it is gr8 to find others who resonate to the path you are on it makes the trip, a 'real' journey love SUSAN THE eXchanger

12-01-2009, 09:10 PM	#15
Céline Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Canada Posts: 1,285	Re: THE PiSSing PEOPLE off thread -- this is a must read This thread has irked me since i first read it.. Though intellectually i understand what you mean...the society we have built around us sometimes demands "thinking outside the box". and by treating everyone equally “nicely” regardless of their contributions, you’ll simply ensure that the only people you’ll wind up angering are the most creative and productive people in the organization. I notice "nicely"is in quotations... this perhaps a little to general for me.. but i agree with the end result . But.. I treat everyone nicely... whether it is while i am at a table of stylists, florists, clients etc..discussing a multitude of ideas ..or trying to do same on the spot parenting with some very wise teenagers , at the dinner table... EVERYONE is treated nicely...but the more "creative and productive"people in the group will definitely get recognition for what they have "brought to the table i hope i got my opinion across properly... pissing people off...whether on purpose or NOT..is never a good outcome. IMHO