Experiences since a toddler - all my life.

[Steven]

Hello m1*. I have a question if I may. Do you feel like belonging to Earth or you feel like a misfit here on Earth, and if you do, is this feeling lasting from a long time ago?

Namaste, Steven

[Noela]

Thanks m1 for your reply to my post. Always nice to get a reply.

With regard to what you believe regarding the person of Jesus Christ
and the power of his name - well, it is experience that counts,
isn,t. it? You have proved that having a personal faith in Jesus
and using his name WORKS!!

It has been so gratifying to me to have you and Beren stating
so well what I too believe! I guess I was a bit cowardly in
coming out and stating it as you have done, because, as you say,
it doesn,t go down too well does it?

I believe that the fact that this is being discussed now on this Forum
and people like you and Beren are putting the case for Jesus
Christ as Lord, is giving more and more people the opportunity
to look into this- the whole scenario of evil - how the purpose of the life, death and resurrection of Jesus was to "destroy the works of
the devil" - and see if this is not a rational explanation for the
situation we are in at this present time. "Then cometh the end,
when he (Jesus Christ) shall have delivered up the kingdom to God
(and) hath put all enemies under his feet."

I am sure you are on the right tract, m1, in looking to God, and
asking for his help. I pray it may come speedily.

God bless.

[Ross H]

Originally Posted by Noela

Thanks m1 for your reply to my post. Always nice to get a reply.

With regard to what you believe regarding the person of Jesus Christ
and the power of his name - well, it is experience that counts,
isn,t. it? You have proved that having a personal faith in Jesus
and using his name WORKS!!

It has been so gratifying to me to have you and Beren stating
so well what I too believe! I guess I was a bit cowardly in
coming out and stating it as you have done, because, as you say,
it doesn,t go down too well does it?

I believe that the fact that this is being discussed now on this Forum
and people like you and Beren are putting the case for Jesus
Christ as Lord, is giving more and more people the opportunity
to look into this- the whole scenario of evil - how the purpose of the life, death and resurrection of Jesus was to "destroy the works of
the devil" - and see if this is not a rational explanation for the
situation we are in at this present time. "Then cometh the end,
when he (Jesus Christ) shall have delivered up the kingdom to God
(and) hath put all enemies under his feet."

I am sure you are on the right tract, m1, in looking to God, and
asking for his help. I pray it may come speedily.

God bless.

I also know of a guy who was having trouble with a naughty entity...he tried lots of things to banish "it" from his home. In the end he said:

IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST, LEAVE THIS PLACE!! he had no further trouble.

So in using his name, for him it worked!

peace always

[beren]

Originally Posted by jross

I also know of a guy who was having trouble with a naughty entity...he tried lots of things to banish "it" from his home. In the end he said:

IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST, LEAVE THIS PLACE!! he had no further trouble.

So in using his name, for him it worked!

peace always

That is very good to know!
However I want to make a point here, by saying that what the person said above is looking like a throwing spells on that entity.
What I meant is that we should not use Jesus`s name like a magic thing or you know if nothing else worked then I have a final solution-IN THE NAME OF CHRIST BUZZ OFF!!!

I think the key point is that we should know Christ as a person and get to know him deeply. Get to know God ,his father deeply... Only then those entities would definitely flee. Well Jesus `s name really helps but what happens tomorrow? If you do not wish to listen Jesus`s advices or be close to him and God what is then your true stand? I mean you do what you wish, you play with fire (spiritism,occult ,and all rest in "light" form) and then when you`ve been attacked you cry Jesus HELP ME !!!

I am afraid it does not works like that. People can not fool other people and other people very quickly see them through and shun them. Do you think that Jesus and God would not see when someone is not serious when asking help?
Yes they will help MANY times but do not be surprised that one day a help IS not there because someone who asked help was fooling around with all mentioned above without a desire to really know what is really happening and who`s been attacking them.

We often forgot that when we ask for help from God and Christ ,from whom do we ask that help . God and Christ can not be mocked around . They are not there living 24/7 just in order to instantly send their angles to help "poor" us! So meanwhile we can do as we please. I mean sure we can do all that we please but with our deeds comes responsibility . It means if we play with spiritism surely we will invoke entities and they are evil! God will help us many times in that things but there is a line in that. How many times do we need to play with fire so that we can finally learn not to???

On the other hand the things that M1 is living all days is something very heavy. I can not tell why exactly they are attacking him because they would find a slightest reason to attack somebody.
They would lean on to somebody and will be especially furious when that somebody is searching help from God and Christ as M1 do.

M1
Be strong and always ask guidance and God`s help. This is war my friend and in war against this enemy, there is no mercy ! We will not have mercy for them as they have no mercy for us. We have King of Kings and Lord of Lords a name that has been lifted above any other name but God`s own and he is our helper with holy spirit too.

[beren]

Originally Posted by Noela

I believe that the fact that this is being discussed now on this Forum
and people like you and Beren are putting the case for Jesus
Christ as Lord, is giving more and more people the opportunity
to look into this- the whole scenario of evil - how the purpose of the life, death and resurrection of Jesus was to "destroy the works of
the devil" - and see if this is not a rational explanation for the
situation we are in at this present time. "Then cometh the end,
when he (Jesus Christ) shall have delivered up the kingdom to God
(and) hath put all enemies under his feet."

I am sure you are on the right tract, m1, in looking to God, and
asking for his help. I pray it may come speedily.

God bless.

Noela, thanks for honesty!

One thing is on my mind, the space is so vast that we can not comprehend it.
There is a strong possibility of ET life out there. Civilization who are way higher than ours or even lower than ours.

The thing is that we DO NOT KNOW that for sure. We can speculate, hear stories about that, "evidences" and many other stuff, but it always comes blurry. Enveloped in a thick mist and not clear.
I believe one day it will be revealed to us everything we want to know, but that comes when we finally prove before God that we will use our free will to do good and to share love,wisdom,peace,and divine knowledge of our creator.

We as humanity are far away from that but as individuals are somewhat close.

One of the things that people do not understand is that actually God-Yahweh has allowed Satan to prove his allegations. You find that in book of Job. Satan basically claimed that we as humanity are serving God selfishly and that he is nurturing us like babies. But as soon as he remove that ,we will like spoiled brats desert him.

God allowed Satan to prove that theory so he can then forever show in universe that he rules with justice, love,wisdom,power. And that his rule is not dictatorial as Satan claimed.

Surely many people chose to abandon God but some chose to love him and stand on his side.

The ultimate evidence that a man can chose God`s side was Christ in flesh.
Bible state that even that he was perfect he had to become as one of us to learn humility and really understand through what do we pass through our earthly life. His temptations were harder than we could even imagine because he was carrying all humanity`s life on a stake. Imagine that he failed, Satan`s point would be valid and all other creatures in the universe would ask the question why should they serve God and why should not they them self choose new paradigms.

Not only Jesus but many showed that they love God honestly without terms...
unconditionally .
And when all this finish up and when all wicked deeds of Satan and his crew are null filed ,all should be made new in entire universe because who knows how many worlds did Satan infected , how many sorrows he sowed in the universe. Pretending to be the one he is not in every different world where he sowed his wickedness.

[eleni]

It's my feeling that the entities/ET's/IT's etc; are the *Gods*(meaning they posed as God and people fell for this deception) who came to earth eons ago- spiritually misaligned peoples......and they have inflicted their will on the populace- only by raising our core vibratory levels do we have means to change this all around and I feel Beren is correct in that just using the name of Jesus may backfire due to intent etc; if the entities know one is just throwing that name around- they are likely to catch on as Beren said.

However there is a chapter in Jim Spark's book which talks about a police officer trying to help Jim by using Jesus and it did not work.

Also Betty Andreasson was a devout Christian.

Not saying it doesn't work- I have no experience with it- I'm paralyzed and can say nothing.

[m1*]

Gee, so much to respond to here! Let me go through it all..

jross,

I AM SOVEREIGN TO MY OWN BEING, I AM NEITHER FOR YOU, NOR AGAINST YOU, SO LEAVE NOW!

Let me explain something. Earlier in my life, although I had began to read the Bible, I didn't fully comprehend what I was reading. There was a time when I was just learning, and developing a relationship with God, through prayer, didn't blossom until later. But let me assure you, and anyone else, that there was a time where I tried to fight these things off "myself".

Let me assure you (and my intent is not to glorify the power of demons), but they are POWERFUL and they do NOT mess around. They can read your mind. They know what you're thinking. They are masters of telepathy and can create feelings and emotions with the energy it takes for us to blink. Telling one of these monsters to "go away" or to demand that "you are sovereign" will do as much good as standing before a vicious dog and saying: "I am sovereign over you". The dog wont care! It will still be intent on tearing out your throat if it can! More to the point, there's not much you can do about it!

The ONLY thing you can do is call on the name of the OWNER of the dog. Then when the owner yells to the dog to get away from you the dog will listen. So in this analogy, rest assured -- the ONLY thing that will work is to call on the name of Jesus Christ.

I didn't fully understand this until my late 20's But since I found this out (and developed a relationship with Jesus, through prayer), I have MUCH less to deal with these days. The name of Jesus always works.

However, let me give you another analogy (for those who claim that the name of Jesus doesn't work). And I am quite sure that for some reason the name of Jesus does NOT work! But here's why..

..let's say that you were at the "owner of the dog's" house the prior day, while he was at work, out the front of his house screaming to the neighborhood: "This guy in here isn't real. he doesn't really live here. look, I can tear up his flowers and kick his letterbox. Did he come out? NO! Because he isn't here I tell you!".

Now he gets home and he is told how disrespectful you were by some neighbors. Now lets say that later that day, you go into his front yard again, and this ferocious dog is about to attack you -- and you call him. Maybe he wont call the dog away? Maybe he will think that you're getting your just deserves? Think about it.

Steven,

Hello m1*. I have a question if I may. Do you feel like belonging to Earth or you feel like a misfit here on Earth, and if you do, is this feeling lasting from a long time ago?

Let me tell you the truth. I most certainly do feel like a misfit here on this earth. I have great trouble relating to other people. I have felt this way since I was a toddler. I can't say why -- I don't know. Am I from somewhere else? I doubt it. Am I here "on a mission to save the world"? No. There are a lot of people saying such things about themselves. This is ego driven if you ask me. I just basically believe that each person has a bit different spirit, just like we have a bit different personalities that's all. I simply have a spirit and personality that is more different from other people than normal. I am most assuredly very different, but I am still a human, I am still here for the same reason as everyone else -- and that is to learn and grow. Until someone proves to me any different (which I don't think is going to happen), that's how my view will remain.

Noela,

With regard to what you believe regarding the person of Jesus Christ
and the power of his name - well, it is experience that counts,
isn,t. it? You have proved that having a personal faith in Jesus
and using his name WORKS!!

The name of Jesus Christ most certainly does work. However, it works by faith. It works because I have developed a relationship, through prayer, with God. I would say to anyone, that if you want to call on Jesus for help, you should have a relationship with him and display trust in him and love. Otherwise, maybe he will not hear you? Or, if you've been extremely egotistical and self serving, maybe he will decide that you need your just deserves? Jesus isn't in the business of watching people mock him one day and then come to their rescue the next. People should remember that.

jross,

I also know of a guy who was having trouble with a naughty entity...he tried lots of things to banish "it" from his home. In the end he said:

IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST, LEAVE THIS PLACE!! he had no further trouble.

So in using his name, for him it worked!

Of course. I believe it!

beren,

I agree with you wholeheartedly -- in everything you said. Jesus isn't a special word people can just use when they feel like it. Jesus is our Lord, and he is the Lord of all Lords. For those that mock him or deny him -- and for those who claim that they ARE gods and that they are sovereign and do not accept that he is Lord, they should not expect any help by calling his name. If they DO receive help, they should be THANKFUL of his grace and patience with them; because although his grace and patience is bountiful, it's not endless. if it were, that would make him unrighteous.

eleni,

However there is a chapter in Jim Spark's book which talks about a police officer trying to help Jim by using Jesus and it did not work.

Jim Sparks does not recognize Jesus as Lord. I do not doubt that Jim is speaking the truth about his experiences, because much of what he has stated could have come from MY mouth verbatim -- and as for what he's saying, you can't make that stuff up! I don't know of he is exaggerating for attention, but he has most assuredly said many things that made me sit up in my chair and say: "He's not lying here". Nevertheless, I do not agree with all that he says. I don't trust what he says, even as much I do not doubt for a moment that he has most certainly experienced many things. I personally believe that Jim has lost the plot a little. I'd really like to talk with him, but that wont happen any time soon. I've has a coupe of short conversations with him, but I am left the impression that he's after money and not to interested in finding out more information or sharing it (unless of course, there is some sort of remuneration or benefit for him). I would really like to have befriended Jim, but it's not going to happen.

[cloud9]

Dear M1:
After reading all those stories I'm amazed about how much some people have endured, I have never had experiences like that,just a few "minor" incidents which I think are not worth to talk about.
Anyway, a few days ago I was reading the last Mrs. Dolores Cannon interview in Coast to Coast; she is a very experienced regresionist who has been working on the subject of ET for many years and has written several books, one of them, "Keepers of the Garden" relates the story of a young guy who definitely felt he didn't fit here and after regresion sessions he started to discover why he was here.
Mrs. Cannon says she developed a technique which allows her to go directly to the supraconcious mind or collective mind where the concious mind can't interfiere, this contact -which she can access in every person she hypnotizes- allows her to ask about everything, ever aspect of life and she can get the most honest answers because in this very deep level exist all the knowledge and it can't lie.
In her last interview she talks about three different "waves" of people that have come to earth to help the planet to raise its vibration just by them being here, she explains that these people or their souls have not had lives in earth before so for some of them is very hard to adjust to this harsh environment, they're regular human beings as the rest of us but they are on a mission to help the planet. I don't want to make this too long but somehow I feel that you, Jross friends and others that have replied to this thread are this kind of souls, perhaps you'll find it relates to you, her work is amazing and very extensive in regards all these subjects, her books "The Convoluted Universe" are incredible and the 4th one is going to be out pretty soon, in this one she'll be talking about these souls who are here to help humanity.
I also have some of her titles in pdf form, if you are interested I can send them to you.
This is the link for her interview, when I listened to it I thought what a "coincidence" as I think you could be one of those gentle souls.


God bless you.

[m1*]

Originally Posted by cloud9

Dear M1:
After reading all those stories I'm amazed about how much some people have endured, I have never had experiences like that,just a few "minor" incidents which I think are not worth to talk about.
Anyway, a few days ago I was reading the last Mrs. Dolores Cannon interview in Coast to Coast; she is a very experienced regresionist who has been working on the subject of ET for many years and has written several books, one of them, "Keepers of the Garden" relates the story of a young guy who definitely felt he didn't fit here and after regresion sessions he started to discover why he was here.
Mrs. Cannon says she developed a technique which allows her to go directly to the supraconcious mind or collective mind where the concious mind can't interfiere, this contact -which she can access in every person she hypnotizes- allows her to ask about everything, ever aspect of life and she can get the most honest answers because in this very deep level exist all the knowledge and it can't lie.
In her last interview she talks about three different "waves" of people that have come to earth to help the planet to raise its vibration just by them being here, she explains that these people or their souls have not had lives in earth before so for some of them is very hard to adjust to this harsh environment, they're regular human beings as the rest of us but they are on a mission to help the planet. I don't want to make this too long but somehow I feel that you, Jross friends and others that have replied to this thread are this kind of souls, perhaps you'll find it relates to you, her work is amazing and very extensive in regards all these subjects, her books "The Convoluted Universe" are incredible and the 4th one is going to be out pretty soon, in this one she'll be talking about these souls who are here to help humanity.
This is the link for her interview, when I listened to it I thought what a "coincidence" as I think you could be one of those gentle souls.

YouTube - Coast to Coast AM - 22 Oct 2009 - 'Volunteer' Souls & Lost Knowledge part 1/11

God bless you.

In all honesty and sincerely, cloud9, I feel that I am just a regular guy - just like everyone else on this planet, doing what I can to understand who I am and who we are, and where we're all going and how to get there. I believe that we're all children of God and that we must look to him for answers. So that's what I do, through prayer, a lot of thought, researching the world - and of course reading the Bible.

I don't personally believe that any one of us have chosen to come here, or are from anywhere else in particular. If that's the case, I would suspect that we're ALL from somewhere else - or none at all. In one respect, I would agree with others to say we're all "one" -- to a point. We're all brothers and sisters on this earth. We're all meant to help and encourage each other, and even give each other a kick in the backside if it's necessary.

I do not subscribe to the new age philosophies that we can create realities. Not in the respect that it is often promoted: that we can just "think stuff up" by being positive and visualizing. We were put in a "physical reality" for a good reason. That's what I believe. If we want change, we need to live the change and use our physical bodies as a tool to create that change. We must use our "lips" to encourage others. We must use our "hands" to bandage the injured. We must use our intellect to solve our problems.

Having said all that, I really know next to nothing. I have diligently researched and studied all my life. I have experienced many things. But I don't know the answers to some very basic questions which still have me stumped. Where was I before I was born? Did I exist? Where am I going? WHO am I?

Many people get over excited and declare that they were a knights templar back in the day, or that they've lived 30 times before, or are from other planets and all kinds of things. At the risk of offending those people, I really must be honest -- I think they're just trippin' for the most part. Maybe there is validity to what they're saying - in one form or another, but for the most part, I sincerely believe that we're simply all children of God and we're here to learn and grow and help each other along the way.

For anyone to declare or say anything more, I believe, is jumping the gun and not overly constructive. I think a lot of people get over excited about things. I have an open mind, and I do take everything into account, but I do put in a GREAT effort to remain as grounded as possible. I think that's what most people should do.

But, of course, that's just me. Someone else might say that I'm the one that's lost the plot. And that's ok -- but the main thing is that we love and respect each other, and treat each other as more than ourselves. We should try not to let our ego rule us.

[cloud9]

M1,
I honestly feel great respect for you and all others participating here. I just want to say that I'm a little bit disappointed that you didn't even mention anything about the link I posted; of course I'm not trying to imposse anything unto you but I thought that perhaps you would be a bit interested in findind out if your experiences have purpose and meaning. I do believe you are a regular guy, all of us are "regular" humans but the fact you have memories, visions and experiences so different from the mayority of us is something worth to comprehend.
Your visions are related to humanity as a whole, perhaps you are given a message that is to be shared and understood. Well, perhaps some day you want to look deeper and discover who you really are, all I can say is you are here in this planet and this reality because is very important it is so.

God bless you.

[m1*]

Originally Posted by cloud9

M1,
I honestly feel great respect for you and all others participating here. I just want to say that I'm a little bit disappointed that you didn't even mention anything about the link I posted; of course I'm not trying to imposse anything unto you but I thought that perhaps you would be a bit interested in findind out if your experiences have purpose and meaning. I do believe you are a regular guy, all of us are "regular" humans but the fact you have memories, visions and experiences so different from the mayority of us is something worth to comprehend.
Your visions are related to humanity as a whole, perhaps you are given a message that is to be shared and understood. Well, perhaps some day you want to look deeper and discover who you really are, all I can say is you are here in this planet and this reality because is very important it is so.

God bless you.

The video has 11 parts. I will watch it. I will comment on it after I watch it. I just wanted to give a response for the time being based on your response. If someone shows me something, I will almost always watch it - to see what they're trying to point out.

And yes, I do have a lot of dreams, visions and experiences which I have great difficulty explaining. I even have (what appear to be) memories of other times and places. However, I don't go around telling people they ARE "memories" because I don't know. Maybe I'm just picking it up off other people? Maybe some entities are placing it in my head? Maybe I am possessed? WHO knows? I don't. I'm just battling along trying to make as much sense of things as I can.

[m1*]

Originally Posted by Truthseeker360

M1 i notice here on avalon lately that people seem to relate et experiences/new age concepts with jesus and demons


Just as you have done....

I ask myself why is this coming to light....

I ask myself why it is that you initially came with the angle of ET contact the flashing light the blue lite bedroom I have 30 pics of ufo's



Then BAAM jesus christ superstar routine




come on bruv which is it ET or little horned dude ???

Try and open your mind see past the mist


truthseeker

Is this the best way you can find to communicate?

Firstly, I DO have 30 pics of UFO's, I HAVE had hundreds of experienced involving "entities" - not ONCE did I personally mention "ET's" or infer of them. That's YOUR assumption. Thirdly, I didn't do a bait and switch. I am SICK and tired of when ever I mention God someone find a reason to get offended and becomes patronizing and tries to belittle how I see things. Have you seen what I've seen? The fact of the matter is that I believe what has been occurring with me IS INDEED DEMONIC. I could explain a lot more if you'd be nicer, instead of basically veiling a sentiment of mockery toward me. So YOU try to open YOUR mind, because let me assure you, mine is already open!

[Oliver]

M1, I think you are very special. I know that most of us can’t truly understand what you are passing through all of your life, but I understand that you are tired of all that is happening to you.

I believe this is not accidentally that you are chosen to see beyond, to experience other dimensions and reality. There IS purpose of all of it. Did you really tried to find what is the purpose? Why you?

I strongly believe you can help humanity with your abilities. Perhaps learning and knowing more about the phenomena that are happens to you will lead you to the point were you can find out what is you mission. And this can liberate you from all of the frustrations, bring you peace, making you happier.
I feel great compassion. A human being is thrown into the vortex of “things” happening around him, he is involved…and he needs answers. He is suffering.

The answers must be find by you. Refusing the reality could make things worst.
It is up to you. You are given with special abilities, the one that gave them to you KNEW that you can deal with them, making them benefit for all.
Please try.

Love & Respect

Originally Posted by m1*

I have experienced the following things ever since I can remember - from the age of being a toddler. I'll do it in point form, otherwise I'll be typing for too long. I'll try to keep them in order of when the experiences for started and as they happened through my life. Take from this what you will.

Woke up in bed numerous times as a toddler/young child floating above my bed. Upon awakening I would drop back onto by bed. While above the bed, the experience was often accompanied by a feeling of something holding me up by my ribs (or that area), as if being pulled up.

Often woke up to find beings and entities in my room. They weren't always the same. Sometimes one tall entities, sometimes several small ones. Sometimes they were just heads.

I would often wake up, not in my room. I don't know where I was, except that I was most certainly not in my room.

I dreamed of circles in the grass when I was a toddler/young child. I looked at them and said (to myself): "Human beings have been here". I recall asking my mother the next day: "What is a human being?". She explained that I was a human being. I realize this is hard to swallow, that I could remember such a conversation, from that age - but I do, distinctly.

As a young child/toddler, I had recollection of places that I had not been to. I remember thinking about those places and wondering where/when those places were/are. I still do. I don't know the answer - still.

I also recall dreaming of that place. In that dream I was in two places. I was both on the ground and in the sky. I was speaking to "myself". This was at age 4 or 5. I looked up to the sky, as I looked down to myself looking up. I said: "I know I am in a dream". Then I woke up. I distinctly remember this dream.

At about 5, I saw a man standing in front of me. He was transparent and blue. Of course, I screamed my lungs out. This is a very distinct memory.

I often woke up in my bed the wrong way around. ie: Foot to head. Not in my covers, but on my bed.

I would often, as a child, get random thoughts to stop heading in one direction and turn away from where I was heading or where I was going. I would have the urge to go somewhere else. ie: I would be riding my bike, see a line of trees and for one reason or another, I'd have to turn around and go see what was in those trees. I felt strongly that something was there that I would miss if I did not turn around, or go there.

I have had literally thousands of dreams, all my life about world events, places and people. I have so many images of events and places in my head, I don't think I could ever explain them all.

I have woken up hundreds of times frozen in my bed, with my room lit up blue (with no light source, just radiant blue). This was associated with low deep oscillating humming, so deep that I could actually feel it through my entire body. There is also an associated high pitched oscillating sound. Each and every time this happened, I would fight with everything I have to get up from my bed. However, in each and every instance I simply lost consciousness after a short while and woke up later (usually in the morning).

I dreamed of September 11 the day before it happened. I also dreamed of the towers falling months before it happened. I have also had more dreams which have not yet happened: nuclear explosions, martial law and also non-human entities being here on the surface of this earth, associated with the roundup of people. This would take me too long to explain here, but I have dreamed of this scenario and situation dozens of times. I have a great picture in my mind of what is coming in that regard. But of course, I don't have dates - so it's practically useless information (sense my frustration?) anyway.

I have woken up physically injured many times. One particular night, I was having my head crushed in (or, at least, that's how it felt) by some sort of pressure. I woke up the next morning with a swollen neck and face.

I have a hole on the inside of my right calf. It is a piece of missing skin, about the size of a match head. It wasn't there when I want to bed. It remained bruised for several years. The bruising has only recently fully disappeared.

I do not only dream. I also have images and feelings flood into my head and into my consciousness while I am awake. I hear things. Places, names, people, all sorts of things. I plain out don't listen anymore. I've learned to block it out. Long story.

I am a believer in God. I read the Bible. I pray. So, (and I know that I will be told otherwise on a forum like this) I try to block all things out. I do not wish to speak with, inquire of, be influenced by or deal with any entity. I never did want to and I still do not want to. So, I do my best to block it all out and make these things go away. I have been injured attacked and abused by these things all my life. If anyone tells me: "Oh just go with the flow" - then you haven't been through what I have and you don't know what you're talking about so spare me - please.

I am also very intuitive. I often know when danger is close. I often know peoples intentions. I often know what people are thinking (to an extent). This often makes life difficult for me because I often KNOW when someone is lying, or not telling the truth. Then (with an apparent lack of evidence), I am accused of being judgmental or accusive. So, I often have to just say nothing, even though I know better than others in some instances and circumstances because they can't work out why I am so adamant of knowing something without evidence, and: "I'm psychic and I can read your mind" usually doesn't do the trick!

I am not religious. I can't stand religion. I hate religion. earlier I said I believe in God and that I read the Bible. That does NOT make me "religious". So please spare me and not put me in a religious fundamentalist box. I believe what I do because of what I have experienced.

I also have memories of not only being aboard space craft, but also piloting them. I have memories of being in different places, which I can safely say couldn't possibly be earth. Also, I am quite convinced I have visited places both on and off earth that aren't even in this time. I don't know the full story and I wont pretend to.

To conclude everything. Let me say that I have been abused, tortured, messed with and psychologically scarred by the entities that have taken an interest in me since I was a toddler. For this reason: 1). My attitude isn't to great and 2). I have fought with it all my life under great protest and duress.

I have absolutely NO will to discuss these things because "it's cool" or because I am looking for excitement. It's just that once you've been through something for long enough, you begin to accept it and become accustomed to it. So in recent years I've been a little more open to both discussing these things and also trying to find out more information.

I can say one thing. I am not a person who says he has all the answers. I'll tell you - I am flat out confused. In many ways, I am broken. I am ruined -- but I am not looking for sympathy or a shoulder either. I've got my chin up, and all I really want is the truth. I really don't want to get involved in an experience fest.

What I have written above is what has happened with me, the way I see it. I'm not looking for attention. I am most certainly not looking to site here spending the rest of my life discussing on all the weird stuff that happens to people, ie: in search of drama. I've been through enough, so my belly is already full.

I could say more, but where do I stop? You can ask questions if you like. That's guts of it, as written above. My opinions, feelings and openness change from day to day and week to week depending on my mood. One day I'll be willing to talk about it, another day I'll probably tell someone to get lost I don't want to talk about it.

I posted it here just in case maybe, somehow, there might be a benefit. But I don't see how (honestly).. I don't mean to have a bad attitude about it all, but 1). I am pretty ****** off with the whole thing and 2). I'm kind of over it, in the respect that I don't have ANY real answers and I'm kind of sick of looking for them.

..but I am intrigued. If I could find any "REAL" answers at all, I'd be over the moon. No pun intended. But I am not holding my breath.

I'm just annoyed that I don't know who I am. I am annoyed about a lot of things. My head is a mess. But I put on a very good act to appear level headed.