Avalon Singles

[Humble Janitor]

I wanted to ask someone out at work but most of the advice I am getting from "friends" says that it's too risky or it's creepy or so forth. It's discouraging. It's like they automatically think that it's a bad idea.

I feel so discouraged and yet, so torn because a co-worker I feel, is sending me signals. It is so frustrating. I want to break out of this shell so bad.

[futureyes]

Originally Posted by Humble Janitor

I wanted to ask someone out at work but most of the advice I am getting from "friends" says that it's too risky or it's creepy or so forth. It's discouraging. It's like they automatically think that it's a bad idea.

I feel so discouraged and yet, so torn because a co-worker I feel, is sending me signals. It is so frustrating. I want to break out of this shell so bad.

dear hj ...

wait no longer within your frustration ... your heart speaks to go forth with this lady ... not dismissing your friend's input ... but your heart is your best guide ... there is no dilemma when you follow it and step out of fear ...

what if hj ... you turned your back on your inner voice ... never have taken the opportunity to see where this could go ...
what if ... she IS the one ...
imho ... you have nothing to lose ... but only to gain ...
if it turns out she is not the one ... then that is ok ...
if she IS the one ... then ... FIREWORKS!!!

we are meant to step out of fear ... the "risk" will take care of itself if this is really what you want to persue ...
it will just be ...

i don't understand what is "creepy" about it ... i think it is creepier experiencing this current dilemma ...

go on ... listen to your heart ...

[raulduke]

Sorry to be callous Hj, but what are you more interested in, your job or your co-worker?

I hate to suggest the negative, but if things don't work out after dating a bit, work could become awkward. I've been there.

That said, I agree completely with fe.

Best of luck to ya matey.

[Humble Janitor]

Originally Posted by futureyes

[COLOR="Cyan"][B]dear hj ...

wait no longer within your frustration ... your heart speaks to go forth with this lady ... not dismissing your friend's input ... but your heart is your best guide ... there is no dilemma when you follow it and step out of fear ...

what if hj ... you turned your back on your inner voice ... never have taken the opportunity to see where this could go ...
what if ... she IS the one ...
imho ... you have nothing to lose ... but only to gain ...
if it turns out she is not the one ... then that is ok ...
if she IS the one ... then ... FIREWORKS!!!

And what happens if it doesn't work and it screws up my job?

It's bad enough that I just can't push myself to take the risk. It's times like this that I wish I knew how to use telepathy.

Also, tell me something: If a woman is super friendly to you, smiles at you and generally acts like this EVERY TIME you see her, what is that? Is that interest or is she just a really nice person? Am I reading too much into this? I can't tell anymore.

[ellie]

Originally Posted by Humble Janitor

And what happens if it doesn't work and it screws up my job?

It's bad enough that I just can't push myself to take the risk. It's times like this that I wish I knew how to use telepathy.

Also, tell me something: If a woman is super friendly to you, smiles at you and generally acts like this EVERY TIME you see her, what is that? Is that interest or is she just a really nice person? Am I reading too much into this? I can't tell anymore.

This is a bit of a worry for me as I am talking from experience re: work colleague relationships/affairs type thing. If it goes wrong, one of you invaribly has to leave the place of employment, only saying this because it happened to me, had to go, that was it. It is amazing how fast something like this gets around the office, it's like wild fire believe me. Other people just love this type of thing to gossip about.

On the other side I also know how you feel when you really like someone at work and your desperate to know how they would react. Okay I am thinking here, wait a sec............as far as her being nice to you whenever she sees you and smiling.....well gee, I used to do that to people I wasnt really keen on and I used to get really shy with someone I did have the hots for, but I suppose it depends on their personality.

So, if you are picking up a vibe and want to ask her out, see if there is an occasion at work coming up where you all go out to the pub, for lunch etc and maybe after a drink or two strike up a conversation. I suppose you have already found out covertly if she has a boyfriend/girlfriend? If she hasn't well then its up to you how you want to handle it my friend. I know how bloody difficult it can be with this, but I also know how it can explode in your face, because believe I am telling you now I have worked with people who hate their lives are miserable and just plod along and would give everything to be able to be young and free and single and because of their jealousy and resentment could make life hell for you, been there, done that, sold the t-shirt,

I remember I typed up a letter so no one could recognise my hand writing and sent an anonymous love note through the inter office mail.

See if you can come up with something that is proactive but also protects you as well. Let us know how you go.

[Ross H]

HJ, you could say...'hi *name* wanna grab a coffee(beer) after work...or whenever?

If answer is 'no thanks', let it be and try again another time. If you get a 2nd 'no thanks' then maybe reconsider her pleasantries towards you as just friends.

If she accepts, and out of the work enviroment, you can enjoy coffee/beer and just chat with her about nothing in particular, just see how it flows, you will gain some knowledge from this...for your next move...or not.

Peace.

[Humble Janitor]

Thanks for your reply, Ellie. It's something I keep hearing and I figured that the folks I know would be more supportive and encouraging but I'm just not seeing it. Maybe I should just back off.

And no, I don't know if she has someone. I'm not a creep that snoops around.

[futureyes]

Originally Posted by Humble Janitor

And what happens if it doesn't work and it screws up my job?

It's bad enough that I just can't push myself to take the risk. It's times like this that I wish I knew how to use telepathy.

Also, tell me something: If a woman is super friendly to you, smiles at you and generally acts like this EVERY TIME you see her, what is that? Is that interest or is she just a really nice person? Am I reading too much into this? I can't tell anymore.

hj ... then perhaps you have made up your mind to not persue this any further ...

i remember awhile back you wrote of how much you like your job ... then this is to be respected and there no longer is a dilemma ...

life is full of risks ... let us call them opportunities rather ...
when opportunity knocks ... it is for a reason ... you can answer ... or not ...
i feel ... if we answer ... we grow ...
and we learn ...
and we experience ...

growth facilitates joy and happiness ...
and as well ... we can be met with challenges ... at times with sadness ...

no experience ... is ever for not ...
free will ... is to answer the knock ... or not ...

i do understand where you are at ... i like ross h's suggestion of asking her out for coffee ...
yet if the stars align in doing so ... you are still left with your question ... that if it doesn't work for some reason ... it will mess up your job ...

only you can know your answer ...

with love ...

[THE eXchanger]

Originally Posted by Humble Janitor

And what happens if it doesn't work and it screws up my job?

It's bad enough that I just can't push myself to take the risk. It's times like this that I wish I knew how to use telepathy.

Also, tell me something: If a woman is super friendly to you, smiles at you and generally acts like this EVERY TIME you see her, what is that? Is that interest or is she just a really nice person? Am I reading too much into this? I can't tell anymore.

ahh, she remembers you for other times
~ some very serious 'essence' rememberance is going on
~ so, just enjoy it
basque in the light of it, and, smile back
~there is NO doubt, she is a bright light
appreciate her, and, her way
~send her things in the interoffice mail
(without her knowing who is sending them)
maybe a unique coffee cup ~ with a profound saying
or, a little chocolate at easter
(do NOT rush it)
instead, have fun with it
(and, do NOT rush anything)
just like a river, and, all of the things within the river,
they always decide together,
where they are going to plot their neXt course,
the same, could be said,
about you, and, about her,
so, just allow all the eXchanges between you & her occur
& in the process, you are likely to discover a lot about her
most of all, enjoy it, and, have fun, with it
and, who knows, it just could develop
into something amasing overtime ?

[anton]

Hi Anton joining in ,my teenage sons just put me onto a rapper named Immortal Teschnique he does a down to earth and gut renching love song worth a listening to its Immortal Technique - You Never Know Lyrics ,watch it on you tube.I,ve recently had a falling in love incident at work.I make coffees for people and brighten up their day with my precence behind the counter.A customer i.ve known for 4 years suddenly became excrusiatinly disirable with her beautiful smile beaming all over the shop.I asked her out to have a coffee and she said ''no,im in a new relationship''. Thats why she was so happy.I asked to go onto her waiting list,she laughed and i havent sighted her since.So I guess the moral of this story is get your facts before making any moves.Love to the People.

[Kikine]

Haha you are all so funny. I love you all

[Humble Janitor]

Originally Posted by THE eXchanger

ahh, she remembers you for other times
~ some very serious 'essence' rememberance is going on
~ so, just enjoy it
basque in the light of it, and, smile back
~there is NO doubt, she is a bright light
appreciate her, and, her way
~send her things in the interoffice mail
(without her knowing who is sending them)
maybe a unique coffee cup ~ with a profound saying
or, a little chocolate at easter
(do NOT rush it)
instead, have fun with it
(and, do NOT rush anything)
just like a river, and, all of the things within the river,
they always decide together,
where they are going to plot their neXt course,
the same, could be said,
about you, and, about her,
so, just allow all the eXchanges between you & her occur
& in the process, you are likely to discover a lot about her
most of all, enjoy it, and, have fun, with it
and, who knows, it just could develop
into something amasing overtime ?

Long text be damned, I appreciate your response and I think that's what I will do. I enjoy playing off of the energy she projects and it's good energy regardless.

I'm just too anxious to shed this skin of not being able to connect with people in the ways I want to connect. I feel like an outsider when it comes to this stuff.

[Kikine]

Don't feel like an outsider. I am sure you will connect.

[Humble Janitor]

Originally Posted by Kikine

Don't feel like an outsider. I am sure you will connect.

Hardly.

Perhaps an outsider in a greater sense as well.

[THE eXchanger]

we think, you are connecting with her quite well

[Ross H]

Originally Posted by Humble Janitor

I wanted to ask someone out at work but most of the advice I am getting from "friends" says that it's too risky or it's creepy or so forth. It's discouraging. It's like they automatically think that it's a bad idea.

I feel so discouraged and yet, so torn because a co-worker I feel, is sending me signals. It is so frustrating. I want to break out of this shell so bad.

Satistically I have read:

55% of couples meet in the working enviroment
35% meet through friends social groups
The rest is made up of variables such as 'meeting out', internet, and even PA

Once I was run over at the traffic lights by a woman in a car...i was un hurt, tho a little embarrased...she offered dinner as a way of saying sorry, I agreed, long story short...nightmare!

Once I was pumping gas as a young fella... I filled her car up and she invited me back for dinner...

so, there are many ways of meeting another...

HJ if you like her go for it! its all experience one way or another.

Peace.