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NO CRAFT OCT 14, I’LL JUST HAVE TO USE THE “ DEACON JUMPROOM “ INSTEAD !!!.
HI I GOT UP THIS MORNING EXPECTING A SEAT ON THE 300 MILE SPACESHIP THAT WAS MENT TO TURN UP, I WAS PLANNING ON HITCHING A LIFT TO MARS TO ACLIMATISE FOR TRAINING, ALONGSIDE MY PRELIMINARY SCEDUALLED, FIRST ROUND HEAT, IN THE PRESTIGIOUS, “MARTIAN ALLCOMERS, PING PONG TOURNEMENT, 2009 “ HEY !!! I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE THERE AS WELL !!! I DECIDED NOT TO DWELL ON MY STUPIDITY AS IT WOULD AFFECT MY GAME. I JUST STROLLED ALONG TO THE NEAREST “ JUMPROOM “ AND JUST AS THE DOOR WAS CLOSING, A LONG STALF, BEAUTIFULY CARVED WITH GOLD INLAYS, BLOCKED THE DOOR AT THE LAST MINUTE. AS THE DOOR SWUNG OPEN, TO MY SHEER AMAZEMENT STOOD A LARGE CLOAKED FIGURE, WITH A RATHER STRANGE HAT, BALLANCED ON HIS NAPPER. “ ROOM FOR ONE MORE “ SAID THE GENTLEMAN. “ SURE, COME IN MY FRIEND, ALL ABOARD FOR CYDONIA “ HIS CLOAK WAS MADE FROM A DARK CRIMSON RED VELVET, EMBROIDERED WITH GOLD AND SILVER THREAD. THE TYPE OF THING YOU WOULD WEAR TO THE PUB, ON SATURDAY NIGHT. AS I WAS STRIKING UP A SPLIF OF “ REPTILLIAN SKUNK “ I POLITELY ASKED “ ARE YOU GOING FOR THE TOURNEMEMT SIR ? “ NO. NO SONNY, MY DAYS OF PLAYING AT THE VERY TOP LEVEL ARE WELL BEHIND ME, IT’S A YOUNG MANS GAME TODAY !!! “. VERY GRACIOUS INDEED AND A DAMN FINE FELLOW. ARE YOU AN OFFICAL SIR ?? I ENQUIRED…??? WELL IM MANY THINGS WHILE ON MARS, MOSTLY “ BLACK OPPERATIONS “ SO ITS ALL A BIT “ HUSH, HUSH “ HE SAID. “ I’M DOWN TO UMPIRE THE SEMI-FINAL IN MARCH, SO IF MY SERIOUS WORK IS FINNISHED BY THEN, I WILL BE AT THE ARENA NEXT YEAR !!! EVEN N.A.S.A. COULDN’T KEEP ME AWAY !!! OH !! HOW WE LAUGHED !!! “ . NEXT THING WE KNEW, AS QUICK AS YOU COULD SAY “ DR HACKINTHEBUSH “ THE DOOR OF THE JUMPROOM SWUNG OPEN AND WE WERE SAYING FAREWELL. I TOOK ONE LAST DRAG ON MY “REPTILLIAN SPLIFF “ GREEN BUD IS WORTH ITS WEIGHT IN HELIUM 3 HERE ON MARS, AND SET OFF FOR THE TOURNEMENT. AS I STARTED TO WALK AWAY, I REALISED THAT I NEVER EVEN ASKED THE CHAPS NAME. I SPUN AROUND AND SHOUTED “ HEY MAN ! WHAT’S YOUR NAME ??? “ THE RED CLOAK SWIRLED AND DISSAPEARED INTO THE CROWD. IT WAS A MYSTERY WRAPPED WITHIN AN ENIGMA !!! ON FIRST SIGHT, I THOUGHT HE WAS THE POPE !!! MAYBE SOMEONE NOT SO HIGH UP IN THE PECKING ORDER, A PRIEST !! OR MAYBE BE EVEN A DEACON !! I GIGGLED AS I CONTEMPLATED THE SYNCRONISITY, BUT SOMETHING TOLD ME I WOULD INDEED BE ENCOUNTERING THIS “ DEACON FELLOW “ IN THE FUTURE !!! LETS HOPE IT’S IN THE SEMI FINALS, AS I CAN DO WITH AS MUCH HELP TO BEAT *x^!^~.3*\\ AS I CAN GET !!! PS: I MADE IT THROUGH TO THE NEXT ROUND, AS MY “ PING PONGING “ ABILITIES ARE A BIT SHARPER THIS YEAR. THE “ PHARMS “ MY OLD COACH ( DR ****FORBRAINS ) HAD ME ON WERE OVERPRESCRIBED, AND HE WAS SUBSEQUENTLY REMOVED FROM THIS POSITION AND DECLARED A PROPHET. ( HE DECLARED THIS ALL BY HIMSELF, AS NO ONE ELSE THOUGHT THIS AT ALL. ) WE JUST THOUGHT HE WAS A CRIMINAL AND AN EGOTISTICAL MANIAC !! PPS: THE “ SAME PEOPLE “ WHO WERE WAITING FOR THE CRAFT YESTERDAY, WERE THERE AGAIN TODAY ??? STILL HOPING TO JUMP ABOARD FOR PASTURES NEW !!! ONE GUYS SAID “ HE’D BEEN WAITING TO GO TO MARS, SINCE THEY FIRST REVEALED THE FACE IN THE CYDONIA REGION !!! I DIDN’T WANT TO TELL HIM ABOUT THE WORK OF “ CYKONOT “ , SO I JUST SAID “ YOU SHOULD TURN THAT PICTURE OF THE “ FACE ON MARS “ …..UPSIDEDOWN ???. YOU MIGHT SEE SOMETHING OTHER THAN WHAT ALL THE MAJOR SCIENTISTS AND IMAGE EXPERTS ARE SAYING !!! GOTTA GO PRACTISE MY BACKHAND SLICE N.A.S.A LIES !!! |
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