[Dantheman62]

Hey Tango, I'm still lurking...Don't really like the atmosphere here anymore, LOL

I don't remember if I've posted these before, but I'll post them anyway! LOL


Three Ladies in a SaunaThree women, two younger and one senior
citizen, were sitting naked in a sauna. Suddenly there’s a beeping
sound. One of the young women pressed her forearm and the beep stopped.

The other looks at her questioningly, “that was my pager” she said,
“I have a microchip under the skin of my arm”.
A few minutes later, a phone rang. The second young woman lifted her
palm to her ear, when she finished she explained. “That was my mobile
phone, I have a microchip in my hand”.The older woman felt very low
tech, not to be out done, she decided she had to do something just as
impressive. She stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom.
When she returned a piece of toilet paper was hanging from her rear
end.

The other two women raised their eyebrows and stared embarrassingly at
her.

The older woman without missing a beat finally said……..”Well, will
you look at that – I’m getting a FAX!!!!”









So, after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart
> greeter, a good
> > > find for
> > > many retirees, I lasted less than a day......
> > >
> > > About two hours into my first day on the job a
> very loud,
> > > unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the
> store with
> > > her two
> > > kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way
> through the
> > > entrance.
> > > As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly,
> 'Good
> > > morning, and welcome
> > > to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are
> they
> > > twins?'
> > >
> > > The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to
> say,
> > > 'Hell no, they
> > > ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the
> other
> > > one's 7. Why the
> > > hell would you think they're twins? Are you
> blind, or
> > > just stupid?'
> > >
> > > So I replied, 'I'm neither blind nor
> stupid,
> > > Ma'am, I just couldn't
> > > believe you got laid twice. Have a good day and
> thank you
> > > for
> > > shopping at Wal-Mart.'
> > >
> > > My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out
> for this
> > > line of work.








LITTLE GIRL ON A PLANE

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the
airplane when the stranger turned to her and said,
'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you
strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed
it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you
like to talk about?'

'Oh, I don't know,' said the stranger.. 'How about
nuclear power?' and he smiles.

OK, ' she said. 'That could be an interesting topic.
But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow,
and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass - .. Yet a
deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a
flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried
grass. Why do you suppose that is?'

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's
intelligence, thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have
no idea.....'

To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel
qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know
sh..t?