Quote:
Originally Posted by James Casbolt
Thank you for your kind comments Kari Lynn. I've found it in my heart to forgive Neil, he was a victim in this as well. His stepfather came back from a POW camp in the far east after the war. His stepfather was tortured in this place and started to abuse Neil and his sister on his return. They were children at the time. This included sexual abuse and such things as killing the pet rabbits in front of them.
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abuse, sexual and physical, certainly is a vicious cycle that continues over and over in generations. I take it you have determined to break that cycle with you. It takes an awareness and understanding of the sickness that prevails in our attackers.
There will be times the the effects show up through out your life, even though you have come to forgive him, things will pop up in your face and knock the breath right out of you, or drop you to your knees.
Myself, when I got pregnant for my first child (and each time there after) I begged and prayed never to have a girl. I knew that I couldn't handle having a daughter and being constantly worried that she'd suffer the same abuse I have suffered.
I even had a dream a few years ago where an angel came to request that I have a girl, and I refused him.
(I wonder to this day what would have happened if I'd said yes?)
Each time some new obsticle pops up. I cry and learn to forgive all over again, and carry on. I'm sure it's something we'll carry our entire lives.