Hei Abraxasinas
I have a question... something happened to me for the 1st time and it is too "exotic" for me to explain it to myself...
Your thoughts on this would be very welcome.
I am not making this up, it did happen and it surprised me.
A few days ago on 5-6.2.2010 (dd.mm.yyyy) the time between Friday and Saturday i had a dream:
at about 8:00-8:15 am gmt+1 i woke up and decided to put everything down on a digital paper...before i forget it.
I had a dream it was in my house with the usual hard to figure out happening in my head...inside of my house was like some research laboratory...and than...zombies attacked (i know and no i can not tell how and why) and i killed one with two screw drivers and i got a very detailed look at my "hand work" than i rushed out into the room (that looked like the real one) there was my mother (i think it was my mother i did not have a good look at her) and it was something about a zombie baby and i took her hand and told her we need to go..and we exited the house via the actual exit that exists (but not main exit) than we were running and i figured i am running in the same direction (around the house) as i would be if i exited via main exit (which was "dangerous") on the actual road that exists...and i though to myself: "why am i doing this, this is stupid" and than i saw some strange "post-apocalyptic" dwellings by the road that do not exist...than while running pass the front yard i saw three large vehicles parked on it...one of them being a big blue garbage truck and I thought to myself: "wtf, this can not be, why are this on our yard" (i know our yard...there are no such things on it)...and than while still running i thought to myself: "this is **** it is like in a movie" and than we reached the fire station area (which really exists)...where i experienced another dream...dream I know...i am 100% sure i had before at least 1 time...there were different people on different transportation vehicles/devices driving around the area in front of the fire station...and i remember one of them telling me...that...(i can not remember exact words) that: "this is not real and that i can go back" So i decided to go back home (without second guessing the advice) where the zombies are (mother was there all the time).
Just at the point where i was to go start going back...i said to myself in dreams: "this is not real i am dreaming"
and
everything went "blank", everything was gone but me...there was nothing but me...it felt like i was alone in infinity
i wanted the ocean to appear and the beach but was not able to do it...i tried hard but could not do it...than i stopped trying and realized if feels like i am in the air in this "state" where there was nothing but me....i always wanted to fly...like the time i was little and i could "fly"....and there i was flying over the road of some city with all the necessary detail....there was even music around me or in the "background" and it felt fantastic...i was flying.....but it was over very quick and i found myself flying very high towards some mountains and there were smaller airplanes around me and i was faster than them...and than i was back at some other city (this "jumps" were beyond my control) and than i wanted to stop so i stopped flying but i noticed that wile i am still levitating in the air...the earth beneath me is moving and i wanted earth to stop moving but failed and that also woke me up or perhaps it was some other noise... (my "home" environment is not exactly what one could call private...calm and peaceful)
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this is how i remember it...this is how it happened... i think i did not dream i have a lucid dream and that i actually had one...a first one...or at least a 1st one i can remember so clearly....upon realizing...with help from others in my dream...that i am dreaming...it was like someone pushed a switch...i felt it in my head...still felt it the first moments after i woke up.....it was different...it was a holodeck under my control (not entirely though) and it seems that it is easier to create something via feeling than by demand....it was just so very hard to maintain control...it was over...so very quickly...
i liked it and i wish i could do it more often...
i did some thinking and i think it was the dream environment (house i live in and the immediate area around the house) that helped me to realize that something is not "right". i am extremely familiar with how things "really" are...and that i believe somehow triggered me to be suspicious...that started the dream at the fire station...where i was somehow helped to realize it is not real. i have a feeling i was at the fire station before but most likely failed to get past it....
I did not use any self-suggestions (affirmations?) before the sleep or anything....I do not recall/remember anything out of the ordinary that Friday or the time before i went to sleep. I have 0 idea about how that happened and how to make it to happen again.
I am especially interested in what it felt like...being alone in infinity...i acted very human and wanted an ocean and a beach...etc...instead i could explore that "infinity" or whatever it was. Also all that time it felt like i am almost or very close to being awake.
I wish i knew how to recreate the experience...how to do it again...
I cant help myself to think that the second dream (fire station) i was helped to realize that i am dreaming...not sure who the helper was/were (was it my "other self" ?)
The last few nights were usual...void, confusion, and a headache....
What purpose do headaches serve?
btw, I hope you are feeling ok and doing some good work