[futureyes]

hello yellowcosmicseed ...

i hope you are doing well ...

it saddens me that you have had to experience what you had ... and from a parent ... one who is supposed to protect you from harm ...

so ... you must move forward from what was ... do not try to bury it for it will always creep into your life ... slowly placing greater density upon your shoulders to carry ... it is not how it is meant to be ... you must move forward in your life making choices for yourself that are free and clear of such darkness you experience in the now ...

only way to do this is to allow this experience to come to the surface ... for healing ... dark to light ...
there has been many beneficial suggestions already posted on how you can do this for yourself ... please find one that resonates with yourself ... and begin ... the longer you wait ... the more challenging it will become for you to do so ... begin today if you haven't already ... perhaps start with conversing with one individual you can fully trust ... as i said ... allow it to come to the surface ... it probably won't feel good to do so ... but a necessity ...
allow for your healing to commence ...

and know ... you will desire perhaps an apology ... an acknowledgement for certain ... from your father regarding this ... but know ... he may never meet your expectation to do so ... and IF this is the case ... know your healing will not arrive in his doing so ... it will come from within YOU ... the significance does not lie within his words ... if he acknowledges his actions ... it will feel good ... absolutely ... but your healing ... will stem from your own core ...

when you bring this to the surface ... wash it ... heal from it ... you will have forgiven him in the process as well ... i know you may not think this can be ... but if you deal with it ... incorporate some of what others have written to you here ... you WILL ... come to peace with it ...

it is time to step out of the darkness yellowcosmicseed ... and live forth in the light ... live in happiness ... no carrying this weight upon your shoulders ... do not allow it to govern you ... go beyond any present fear in the now ... speak to someone you trust ... meditate ... etc. ...

you have much strength to have written what you have ... i hope you are already on your way to healing from this ... it won't happen overnight ... but for yourself ... i feel it will occur relatively quickly ... because you want it to ...

love to you ...

blessings ...