Old Project Avalon Forum (ARCHIVE) - View Single Post

judykott · 04-06-2009, 01:08 AM

SH*T HAPPENS
Taoism: **** happens.
Confucianism: Confucius say, "**** happens."
Buddhism: If **** happens, it isn't really ****.
Zen Buddhism: **** is, and is not.
Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of **** happening?
Hinduism: This **** has happened before.
Islam: If **** happens, it is the will of Allah.
Islam #2: If **** happens, kill the person responsible.
Islam #3: If **** happens, blame Israel.
Catholicism: If **** happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism: Let **** happen to someone else.
Presbyterian: This **** was bound to happen.
Episcopalian: It's not so bad if **** happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
Methodist: It's not so bad if **** happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
Congregationalist: **** that happens to one person is just as good as **** that happens to another.
Unitarian: **** that happens to one person is just as bad as **** that happens to another.
Lutheran: If **** happens, don't talk about it.
Fundamentalism: If **** happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
Fundamentalism #2: If **** happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
Fundamentalism #3: **** must be born again.
Judaism: Why does this **** always happen to us?
Calvinism: **** happens because you don't work.
Seventh Day Adventism: No **** shall happen on Saturday.
Creationism: God made all ****.
Secular Humanism: **** evolves.
Christian Science: When **** happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
Christian Science #2: **** happening is all in your mind.
Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this ****.
Quakers: Let us not fight over this ****.
Utopianism: This **** does not stink.
Darwinism: This **** was once food.
Capitalism: That's MY ****.
Communism: It's everybody's ****.
Feminism: Men are ****.
Chauvinism: We may be ****, but you can't live without us...
Commercialism: Let's package this ****.
Impressionism: From a distance, **** looks like a garden.
Idolism: Let's bronze this ****.
Existentialism: **** doesn't happen; **** IS.
Existentialism #2: What is ****, anyway?
Stoicism: This **** is good for me.
Hedonism: There is nothing like a good **** happening!
Mormonism: God sent us this ****.
Mormonism #2: This **** is going to happen again.
Wiccan: An it harm none, let **** happen.
Scientology: If **** happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< **** happens.
Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our ****?
Jehovah's Witnesses #3: **** has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
Moonies: Only really happy **** happens.
Hare Krishna: **** happens, rama rama.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this ****!
Zoroastrianism: **** happens half on the time.
Church of SubGenius: BoB ****s.
Practical: Deal with **** one day at a time.
Agnostic: **** might have happened; then again, maybe not.
Agnostic #2: Did someone ****?
Agnostic #3: What is this ****?
Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
Atheism: What ****?

04-06-2009, 01:08 AM	#1404
judykott Avalon Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Calgary, Canada Posts: 711	Re: _AVALON LOUNGE_ Open 24 hours SHT HAPPENS Taoism: * happens. Confucianism: Confucius say, " happens." Buddhism: If happens, it isn't really . Zen Buddhism: is, and is not. Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of happening? Hinduism: This has happened before. Islam: If happens, it is the will of Allah. Islam #2: If happens, kill the person responsible. Islam #3: If happens, blame Israel. Catholicism: If happens, you deserve it. Protestantism: Let happen to someone else. Presbyterian: This was bound to happen. Episcopalian: It's not so bad if happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it. Methodist: It's not so bad if happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it. Congregationalist: that happens to one person is just as good as that happens to another. Unitarian: that happens to one person is just as bad as that happens to another. Lutheran: If happens, don't talk about it. Fundamentalism: If happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!) Fundamentalism #2: If happens to a televangelist, it's okay. Fundamentalism #3: must be born again. Judaism: Why does this always happen to us? Calvinism: happens because you don't work. Seventh Day Adventism: No shall happen on Saturday. Creationism: God made all . Secular Humanism: evolves. Christian Science: When happens, don't call a doctor - pray! Christian Science #2: happening is all in your mind. Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this . Quakers: Let us not fight over this . Utopianism: This does not stink. Darwinism: This was once food. Capitalism: That's MY . Communism: It's everybody's . Feminism: Men are . Chauvinism: We may be , but you can't live without us... Commercialism: Let's package this . Impressionism: From a distance, looks like a garden. Idolism: Let's bronze this . Existentialism: doesn't happen; IS. Existentialism #2: What is , anyway? Stoicism: This is good for me. Hedonism: There is nothing like a good happening! Mormonism: God sent us this . Mormonism #2: This is going to happen again. Wiccan: An it harm none, let happen. Scientology: If happens, see "Dianetics", p.157. Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< happens. Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our ? Jehovah's Witnesses #3: has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening. Moonies: Only really happy happens. Hare Krishna: happens, rama rama. Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this ! Zoroastrianism: happens half on the time. Church of SubGenius: BoB s. Practical: Deal with one day at a time. Agnostic: might have happened; then again, maybe not. Agnostic #2: Did someone ? Agnostic #3: What is this ? Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS. Atheism: What **?