[raulduke]

Hi yellowcosmicseed, welcome to Avalon.

So sorry to read your post. My humble advice would be to nix that moping as best you can. Try to find something that interests you, that really makes you happy, and dive in. Music, a sport, moutain biking, hiking, writing, ooh jiu-jitsu or any martial art (though I highly recomend jiu-jitsu). Squash that self criticism too, you've had the deck stacked against you, and now you're starting to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps. I think that's pretty awesome kid. Hang in there.