[Czymra]

It's an interesting read since my life has changed in a peculiar way as well since I let myself be filled in with this knowledge.


Intellectually, I've been on a learning spree that hasn't only advanced this specific perspective of the world, it has influenced all my understanding of anything and given quantum leaps to my studies.

Yet,
spiritually, I've been maybe 'awakened' yet I know nothing and feel utterly stuck in exactly the same place as before. There is more knowledge but I get the feeling the more I learn, the less I am able to let go of 'this world'.

Then again, I have learned to see understand the 'logic of emotions' more deeply and, even tough I am miles from an empath, I can now follow certain reactions and improve my own relations.


I think it's a difficult path as it isn't only about conspiracy, a new paradigm or so. It's also got a lot to do with emotions and spirituality and these are such complex issues, I think I can only cope with them because I don't try to understand, I rather feel them.


Finally, what I am most surprised by is that I accept most of this knowledge without any resistance. I may doubt and be sceptic, in fact I try not to believe anything I can back up from my own life, and even than all may be a lie. I am completely incapable of understanding how another person may not consider 'all this' at least possibilities. Yet, I can understand wanting to live without responsibility, without the pain of knowing.