[shanonatime]

i have family there but can't convince them anything is going on- they attribute anything i say to my mental problems... meanwhile im here in philly mostly alone and poor and am starting to freak out- i realize there is nobody who can really help me but yet everyone needs people and really i don't know where to start. i guess with facing myself. i've been in this position before but this time it feels much worse. i fear for my life and everyone else's. nobody trusts me and i don't trust anyone i know. i'm scared to go outside most of the time and really- things have gotten too weird. i left san diego the first time because everyone was so fake... now it seems that all the people are in california. i don't understand it. i guess i just have a problem trusting anyone- all people in general. best wishes everyone-
vista- the last time i was in vista i lied about my age to be in peter pan...
:-) always had a peter pan obsession...
i grew up in poway... my mom lives in RB and my sister lives in escondido... haven't seen them for a while now. thinking happy thoughts even though they really just think i'm crazy. i may be hurting. but that doesn't make me crazy.
nite.