To be fully awakened you have to wake up inside, and outside.
You must awaken to the inner you, who you really are. You are the awareness of the thought, not the thought. First you have to create the space between awareness and ego. Try A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. It will change your reality. You will learn your inner purpose. It's fantastic to find the real you, not the person that you thought you were. We are evolving as an awareness being from a thought being. Presence is timeless. You always have been, and always will be present. You are eternal. The opposite of life is not death. The opposite of death is birth. Life has no opposite, because it's eternal. Once you learn this you will lose your fear.
Your inner purpose is to be present and to understand that it is timeless.
You outer purpose is to facilitate your inner purpose the best you can.
While working on you outer purpose you must bring one of three things to it, or walk away. If you can't bring any of the following to what you are doing, it is not helping your inner or outer life's purpose.
Acceptance.
Enthusiasm.
Joy.
Remember, you can not think your way into the present moment, you can only be.
The second wake up is to the truth of what is really going on around you. Sounds like you got that part covered.
Fester is wise. He is the original light being.
